A piano plays softly in the background, coming from somewhere else in the house.

HUNGARY: Is it really so hard for you to control yourself, oh great and mighty Prussia? [sarcastically]

PRUSSIA: Oh, please. The Awesome me does what and who he wants.

H: [whips up her mighty skillet, stopping just beneath his nose. He pales slightly and takes the tiniest step back] Not my husband, he doesn't.

P: [pushes skillet down, steps forwards into H's space] And who's gonna stop me?

H: Have you really already forgotten what happened the last time you tried to push me?

P: [almost hissing] I let you. Now step aside, girlie. The men have business.

H: Girlie? Girlie?!

P: [clearly thinking 'oh shit']

Piano stops, they move several paces away from each other in a hurry.

AUSTRIA: [calling from another part of the house] Elizaveta? Is everything all right?

H: [abrupt mood & tone change] Just perfect, Roddy dearest! Go back to your piano and I'll join you when I'm done here!

Another piece starts after a break just long enough to sound sceptical

P: So, you're on human name terms? Since when?

H: [turns to P, pure animosity on face with no small measure of gleeful anticipation] Five seconds.

P: What d'you-

H: Four.

P: [realisation sets in. Stumbles backwards, clumsy & rushed]

H: Three.

P: [starts running]

H: Two-one! [chases after him]

P: [EXIT, pursued by Hungary]

Metallic clang and shout of male pain from offstage

H: [still offstage] Since the union, jerk.