King of the Rings:Movie 1: If only he'd finished the book.

Broken Wings: Hello! My name is Broken Wings (Wings for short!), And I get to be director, and the mastermind behind this fanfic! This is my first fanfic, so please...Have Mercy (TT)
Shattered Heart: Cry baby.
Wings: Oh, I almost forgot!
Heart: Like always.
Wings: This is my alternate personality, Shattered heart! Heart for short.
Heart: Ironic. I don't have one.
Wings: Blink Heart: I'm just here to comment and help Wings with spelling Wings: My spellings not that bad!
Heart: Your spelling would give any English teacher a heart attack.
Wings: Glare FINE YOU WIN!
Heart: Wow...That was ...easy. Anyway are we forgetting something?... oh yeah.
Disclaimer: We do not own any characters, places , or songs mentioned in this fanfic.
Heart: On with the show.

Familiar Female Voice: Long ago Rings of Great powers were forged! Three were given to the Elves, beautiful and wise and all that other good stuff that no one else even thought of being.
Random Elf: Yeah, like sexy! Voice: ...anyway, Seven were given to the Dwarfs, who appeared to be really …….um…hungry hobbits.
Nine were given to the men.
Woman was completely over looked and ignored and unappreciated and by the men whom they supported!
Not to mention the men were smelly, dirty and downright.
Wings: Ahem!
Voice: Oh, all right!
Wings: Since you seem to be getting sidetracked I think I'll shorten our little intro…Saron is evil. He made a ring that was evil. He destroyed villages, which was evil. And he started a war which had really cool graphics, but was evil.
Heart: Are you allowed to just interupt!
Wings: It's my parody!
Heart: I thought you said it was a fanfic.
Wings: Whatever!

THE WAR

Narrator: We see a series of R-rated blood shed, and some extreamly Matrix like moves from the Elves.
Pansy's in Audiency: Oh, the fear!

Elrond: I need no helmet!
Soldiers: Um.
Elrond: What!
Soldiers: ...Nothing Elrond: ...I hate you...

Narrator: And so the war continued. Many more bloody images flash into view. When finally the Army seems to stand a chance.
Army: Yay!
Narrator: ...Sauron himself shows up.
Army: S#t !
Narrator: Thus began the slaughter.
Elf #354: die
Man #56: die
Elf #45: die
Narrator: Suddenly Isildur, son of the king, took up his fathers sword! ...and Sauron Stepped on it.
Isildur: sobbing and cradling broken sword I barely knew you! You where so shiny sniff.
Saron:evil laughter
Isildur: I will avenge this lovely piece of metal!
Narrator: So in rage, Isildur picked up the shattered blade and severed saurons finger.
Sauron: Although this is not a potentially deadly wound I think I may just die.explodes

Narrator: And so the little army of Elves and Men won the battle. Isildur, who had an obvious fascination with shiny objects, spotted the ring which was still around the severed finger.
Isildur: You remind me of a certain metal blade I used to know...so shiny and...precious.
Elrond: Come with me.
Isildur: ...Okay.

Narrator: Elrond led Isildur into Mount Doom, the place were the ring was forged.
Elrond: Cast the ring into the Fire!
Isildur: Glances lovingly at ring
Elrond: Isildur!
Isildur: .
Elrond: .
Isildur: .
Elrond: .
Audience: .
Isildur: .
Elrond: .
Isildur: .
Audience: .
Elrond: .
Isildur: .
Audience: WTF! freak
Isildur: No.
Audience: Finally!

Narrator: So Isildur decided to keep the ring. The ring, being evil and shiny, called to a bunch of orcs who came out of no where and shot Isildur with a 22 magnum.The ring fell to the bottom of the river and sat there forgotten for several thousand years. How the battle and the ring and all that, was forgotten is beyond me. One day the ring was picked up by a Hobbit named Deogal (but your not really supposed to know that until the third movie) and was taken by Smegol into the Misty mountains.
There it consumed him and gave him unnatural long life and also gave him a very ...unique new name. Several hundred years later the ring was taken by a Hobbit named Bilbo Baggins.
Gollum: Begins to wail and cry pitifully We lost it, we did! My precious!