King of the Rings:Movie 1: If only he'd finished the book.
Broken
Wings: Hello! My name is Broken Wings (Wings for short!), And I get
to be director, and the mastermind behind this fanfic! This is my
first fanfic, so please...Have Mercy (TT)
Shattered Heart: Cry
baby.
Wings: Oh, I almost forgot!
Heart: Like always.
Wings:
This is my alternate personality, Shattered heart! Heart for
short.
Heart: Ironic. I don't have one.
Wings: Blink Heart:
I'm just here to comment and help Wings with spelling Wings: My
spellings not that bad!
Heart: Your spelling would give any
English teacher a heart attack.
Wings: Glare FINE YOU WIN!
Heart:
Wow...That was ...easy. Anyway are we forgetting something?... oh
yeah.
Disclaimer: We do not own any characters, places , or songs
mentioned in this fanfic.
Heart: On with the show.
Familiar
Female Voice: Long ago Rings of Great powers were forged! Three were
given to the Elves, beautiful and wise and all that other good stuff
that no one else even thought of being.
Random Elf: Yeah, like
sexy! Voice: ...anyway, Seven were given to the Dwarfs, who appeared
to be really …….um…hungry hobbits.
Nine were given to the
men.
Woman was completely over looked and ignored and
unappreciated and by the men whom they supported!
Not to mention
the men were smelly, dirty and downright.
Wings: Ahem!
Voice:
Oh, all right!
Wings: Since you seem to be getting sidetracked I
think I'll shorten our little intro…Saron is evil. He made a ring
that was evil. He destroyed villages, which was evil. And he started
a war which had really cool graphics, but was evil.
Heart: Are you
allowed to just interupt!
Wings: It's my parody!
Heart: I
thought you said it was a fanfic.
Wings: Whatever!
THE WAR
Narrator:
We see a series of R-rated blood shed, and some extreamly Matrix like
moves from the Elves.
Pansy's in Audiency: Oh, the fear!
Elrond:
I need no helmet!
Soldiers: Um.
Elrond: What!
Soldiers:
...Nothing Elrond: ...I hate you...
Narrator:
And so the war continued. Many more bloody images flash into view.
When finally the Army seems to stand a chance.
Army:
Yay!
Narrator: ...Sauron himself shows up.
Army: S#t
!
Narrator: Thus began the slaughter.
Elf #354: die
Man #56:
die
Elf #45: die
Narrator: Suddenly Isildur, son of the king,
took up his fathers sword! ...and Sauron Stepped on it.
Isildur:
sobbing and cradling broken sword I barely knew you! You where so
shiny sniff.
Saron:evil laughter
Isildur: I will avenge this
lovely piece of metal!
Narrator: So in rage, Isildur picked up the
shattered blade and severed saurons finger.
Sauron: Although this
is not a potentially deadly wound I think I may just die.explodes
Narrator:
And so the little army of Elves and Men won the battle. Isildur, who
had an obvious fascination with shiny objects, spotted the ring which
was still around the severed finger.
Isildur: You remind me of a
certain metal blade I used to know...so shiny and...precious.
Elrond:
Come with me.
Isildur: ...Okay.
Narrator:
Elrond led Isildur into Mount Doom, the place were the ring was
forged.
Elrond: Cast the ring into the Fire!
Isildur: Glances
lovingly at ring
Elrond: Isildur!
Isildur: .
Elrond:
.
Isildur: .
Elrond: .
Audience: .
Isildur: .
Elrond:
.
Isildur: .
Audience: .
Elrond: .
Isildur: .
Audience:
WTF! freak
Isildur: No.
Audience: Finally!
Narrator:
So Isildur decided to keep the ring. The ring, being evil and shiny,
called to a bunch of orcs who came out of no where and shot Isildur
with a 22 magnum.The ring fell to the bottom of the river and sat
there forgotten for several thousand years. How the battle and the
ring and all that, was forgotten is beyond me. One day the ring was
picked up by a Hobbit named Deogal (but your not really supposed to
know that until the third movie) and was taken by Smegol into the
Misty mountains.
There it consumed him and gave him unnatural long
life and also gave him a very ...unique new name. Several hundred
years later the ring was taken by a Hobbit named Bilbo
Baggins.
Gollum: Begins to wail and cry pitifully We lost it, we
did! My precious!
