One afternoon, Blaine went into a coffee shop. He was standing in line when he felt someone tapping him on the shoulder. He turned around in irritation, and was even more irritated to see that it was his old friend/nemesis, Stef. "Oh, hello, Stef." said Blaine. "Wasn't expecting to see you."
"Why not? Did you think that I was dead?" said Stef.
"No, no. I just said I wasn't expecting to see you, that's all." said Blaine. Suddenly, he felt the urge to get out of there quickly. He looked around for the door and was just about to make a break for it.
"Sir? Sir? Are you ready to order?" said the woman at the counter.
"What? Oh, uh…well, why don't you go first, then Stef?" said Blaine, reasoning that if Stef went first, he would be distracted, and he could leave quickly and quietly.
"Why? Aren't you going to order anything?" said Stef.
"Well, uh…yes, of course I am, but I might take a long time, uh, deciding. You look like you're in a hurry, and-
"I'm not in any hurry." said Stef.
"Well, that is, I'm in a hurry, and-
"Why don't you go first, then?" said Stef.
"Well, I just don't think that…"
"Were you planning on leaving without ordering, Blaine?" said Stef.
"Leaving without ordering?" Blaine said, laughing nervously. "Now why would I do that? That doesn't make any sense, now does it?"
"Well, why don't you order, then?" said Stef.
"That is just what I was about to do. I'll have a large coffee, miss." said Blaine to the woman at the counter.
"All right. That'll be 2.75." said the woman.
Blaine paid the woman, and looked around for the door. He was just headed in that direction when Stef tapped him on the shoulder. Oh, please don't let it be him again. Blaine thought, realizing against hope that it most likely was.
"Oh, Stef. Nice to see you again, but I really have to be going. I have a lot of things I have to do, and…"
"Oh, really? Like what?" said Stef.
"Like classes and uh, other things. Too many to count, really." said Blaine, smiling.
"I don't believe you." said Stef.
"Really? Well, ok, believe what you want to, Stef. I'm very busy, and I have a lot of stress to deal with. I don't need this." Blaine said, turning towards the door. "It was nice seeing you again, though. It's been awhile." He backed out the door. I wonder if I could still slip back in without him noticing? Blaine thought as he saw Stef heading towards his car. It's worth a shot.
So Blaine took his coffee and headed back into the coffee shop. He sat down at a table in the very back. Well, thank goodness that's over. he thought. He shuddered, downing his coffee. I guess I needed this more than I thought. Suddenly he felt a prickly sensation in the back of his neck, as though someone was watching him. He whirled around. There was no one there. Blaine, old buddy, you're getting paranoid. He took another sip of his coffee. You know, this could use some cream and sugar. He got up, and turned around just in time to see Stef standing there. This sight so startled him that he jumped a mile and spilled coffee all over the table. "Stef, what in the world-
"You're getting really clumsy in your old age, Blaine. Really forgetful, too. Remember you were busy? In a hurry?"
"Well, I am. I am. I just thought, you know, I'd drink my coffee here, what the heck. Why always be in a hurry, am I right?" He grinned weakly.
"Especially not after you'd thought I just left."
"No, no. Don't be ridiculous, Stef, I just got tired, and…"
"You always were such a coward, Blaine. You can't even admit you were trying to avoid me."
"Avoid you? Don't be ridiculous, Stef. Here, why don't you sit down, Stef, and I'll just get some napkins to clean this mess up. I'll be right back."
"Exactly how stupid do you think I am, Blaine? You're just going to leave."
"Leave? No, no. I'm really not. I just don't want to sit here with this coffee all over the table. I mean, who would, right?" Blaine said, grinning nervously.
"Why wouldn't you leave? You think I'm shit, right? You said so, remember? At the prom?"
"Oh, don't be ridiculous, Stef. That was in high school. That was years ago."
"It was just a few years ago."
"Well, it was a long time ago all the same. Look, I promise I'll come right back. I'm just going to get some napkins. Look, if you insist on being so ridiculous, I'll leave my wallet right here on the table. I wouldn't leave without my wallet, right? I'm totally defenseless. Right?"
"Are you sure you trust me not to make off with it?" said Stef.
"Don't be absurd. What would you want with my wallet? You already have lots of money, right?" Blaine quickly went over to get some napkins and while he was waiting, briefly considered, since he himself had a lot of money, just leaving his wallet there anyway. But then he remembered his social security card in the wallet, and thought the better of it. I'll only stay a few minutes. he thought. How bad could it be?
So Blaine went back with the napkins. "See? I was true to my word, now wasn't I? I came right back, didn't I?" he said. Nervously, Blaine began to wipe up the spilled coffee with the napkins. He sat down at the table. "Well, then, uh, Stef-
"You were trying to avoid me, weren't you, Blaine?" said Stef.
"Me? Of course not. I was simply-
"You don't have any problem lying, do you, Blaine?" said Stef.
"I'm not lying, Stef. For goodness sakes, you're beginning to creep me out. Now why can't we just have a pleasant convers-
"Look at you. You're such a coward, you can't even admit you couldn't wait to get away from me."
"Okay. Fine. I was."said Blaine. "You can hardly blame me, now can you? I tried to be as polite as possible, but you just wouldn't leave me alone."
"Why do you hate me, Blaine?" said Stef.
"For heaven's sake, Stef. I don't-
"Are you still seeing that girl, Addie?" said Stef.
"That isn't any of your business. Besides, even if she were available, I doubt she'd be interested in you." said Blaine.
"Well, I'm not interested in her." said Stef.
"Well, that's good. I'm glad to see you've moved on to other-
"I was never interested in her." said Stef.
"If you say so, Stef. Her name is Andi, by the way."
"Well, I was never interested in Andi."
"All right then, Stef. I'm not going to argue with you about it." said Blaine, not wanting to be suckered into a pointless argument. "However, if you'd acted a bit more maturely about her rejecting you in high school, perhaps we could have stayed friends."
"Blaine, do you remember at the prom when I was brushing that lint off of your bow tie?" said Stef.
"Uh, not really, Stef. But if you say it happened, I'll take your word for it." said Blaine.
"Well, it did happen. I was trying to give you a signal, Blaine." said Stef.
"A signal? A signal for what?" said Blaine.
"Oh, don't play dumb, Blaine. You know you've had feelings too." said Stef.
"Stef, I don't even want to know what you're telling me." said Blaine.
"Blaine, you're right, I did act very immaturely in those days. But it was never over Andi. It was all over you." said Stef.
Blaine looked around for the door. Suddenly he felt as if he didn't leave that very minute, he'd go completely insane.
"You know, I always thought that it was very sexy the way your eyes dart around the room like that." said Stef.
"For crying out loud! Stop it! Don't say anything more like that!" said Blaine. He tried to keep his eyes focused firmly in one direction. He didn't want to make any sort of eye contact with Stef, however, fearing he'd take it as some kind of signal that he was attracted to him. He took a sip of his coffee. It now tasted cold and too bitter. "Dear God, all those times we were in the locker room together in high school…"
"Oh, come now, Blaine, it isn't any big deal." said Stef.
"It's a big deal to me!" Blaine snapped. He took a deep breath. "So what you're trying to tell me is that you're-
"Gay."
"What about your girlfriend, Bennie?" said Blaine.
"Oh, that was just a front. I couldn't very well tell everyone in high school that I was gay, could I? You know how cruel high school students can be." said Stef.
"Including you."
"Including me, yes. But we're not in high school now. I've changed." said Stef.
"So all the trouble you went to back in high school to turn me against Andi, it wasn't because you wanted her, but really you wanted me?" said Blaine, horrified.
"Yes. And I realize you had to pretend to like Andi, because you were afraid of what everyone would think, but we're not around all those people anymore, Blaine. Now you can admit the truth." said Stef.
"What truth?" said Blaine.
"That you're in love with me, not Andi." said Stef.
"The hell I am!" said Blaine.
"Oh, come on, now Blaine. I know you've always had feelings, just as I have. You've just been afraid to come out of the closet." said Stef.
"Stef, I hate to break this to you, but I'm not gay. I like women." said Stef.
"That's what you say. But I know that you've been in love with me all these years. Just as I have been with you." said Stef.
"For the last time, Stef, I am not gay, and I've never even once been attracted to you even remotely. Never had any kind of urges like that." said Blaine.
"You know, I'm talking about more than just sexual attraction here, Blaine." said Stef.
"Isn't that what you said to Andi?" said Blaine.
"How do you know that?" said Stef.
"She told me."
"Well, I'm serious this time, Blaine. You know, you really hurt me that night at the prom. But I realize you were putting up a front, Blaine, just as I was. I know how hard it was for you to be in the closet all these years. But you don't need to be afraid of what they'll think. Finally, you and I can be togeth-
"Shut up! Just shut up! I am heterosexual, and I have always been! I am not gay, and furthermore, even if I was gay, I would never in a million years be attracted to you! The only thing I have ever been in the closet about is how much I utterly hate you! And always have. Never once have I had any other feeling for you other than disgust. You want me to be honest? How do you like that? I'm being honest now. Still think I'm a coward?" said Blaine. "Oh, and now that you appear to have gone soft and mushy, it only makes me feel even more disgusted. And incidentally, Andi and I are still together, and we still both think you're shit. And we'll be sure to have a good laugh over all this tonight."
"You wouldn't really do that. I thought we were friends, at least." said Stef.
"Oh, but I would, and we're not. What the hell do you mean, coming up to me in this coffee shop, and confessing your supposed love for me? Why don't you just leave me alone? You could see I didn't want to converse with you. What spurs this sudden confession?"
"Because. I had to tell you, Blaine. I've always wanted you to at least know it. I know you don't think well of me, but-
"Listen. If you don't leave me alone, Stef, I swear to you, I will tell everyone on this campus that you're gay. Everyone." said Blaine.
"Go ahead. I have nothing to be ashamed of." said Stef.
"I swear, Stef, I will go out as soon as I leave this coffee shop and get out a restraining order against you. Do you think I won't?" said Blaine.
"That won't be necessary. I'm not going to stalk or harass you. But I thought we might be able to put aside our differences, even if my feelings for you aren't mutual."
"That will never happen." said Blaine.
"Why not?" said Stef.
"Because you drip slime. The only reason I ever hung around with you in high school was because you had money, Stef, not because I was attracted to you or even remotely liked you. In fact, I don't think that anybody did." said Blaine.
"Listen, Blaine, I realize I acted like a complete jerk in high school. And I just wanted to say that I'm sorry. I know I could've acted a lot better, especially about Andi and all that." said Stef.
Blaine sighed. "Well, I accept your apology, Stef. I guess. But I'm afraid that doesn't make me want to be around you any more than before."
"Are you a homophobe, Blaine?" said Stef.
"Stef, for crying out loud! After what you told me a few minutes ago, I don't want to be within a hundred yards of you." said Blaine.
"Why not?" said Stef, hurt.
"Because! I don't want to be around any man that's in love with me, that's why not!" said Blaine.
"Why? Are you afraid that you'll be attracted to me somehow? I thought you weren't gay."
"I'm not, and that is exactly why I don't want you around me! And I don't have to be around you." said Blaine.
"Listen, Blaine, we don't have to even talk about it. All I want is for you to-
"Listen, you sick freak, all I want is to avoid you at all costs! You understand? Stay the hell away from me, stay away from Andi-
"Andi? Why would I want anything to do with Andi?" said Stef.
"What do you think? If you can't have me, maybe you think no one should have me." said Blaine.
"You're suggesting I might want to harm-
"Suggesting it? No, I'm saying it." said Blaine.
"You know what? As far as I'm concerned, she can have you. You're not the person I thought you were, Blaine. I don't know when you turned into this, but I don't like it." said Stef.
"Maybe it was about the same time you turned into a queer." said Blaine. "Look, I know, I'm not being very gracious, but I just can't…well, can't even look at you anymore, Stef."
"You are a homophobe, then, aren't you, Blaine?" said Stef.
"No. I don't hate homosexuals. I just don't want one around me who I know is attracted to me."
"There could be a chance of that with any one." said Stef.
"Well, I especially don't want to be around you, Stef." said Blaine.
"Why?"
"Because I'm afraid you might be a stalker. I don't want to be in fear of my life, Stef. So please, if you see me, just leave me alone. Don't speak to me."
"Is this motivated by revenge for the way I acted in high school?" said Stef.
"Honestly, Stef, it isn't. I just can't deal with something like this, all right? Maybe you should have kept your mouth shut about anything to do with being in love with me." said Blaine.
"No, I shouldn't have. I'm glad it's out there, Blaine. And I'm glad that you know. And even if you don't feel about me the way that I do about you, I'll always care for you, Blaine." said Stef.
Gag. Blaine thought. "Well, I am sorry, Stef. Truly. And I hope you find happiness with uh, someone else, I truly do." Anyone but me. thought Blaine.
"And I hope you and Andi will be happy together." said Stef.
"Well, we are. And don't worry, I won't tell her anything about you being attracted to me." said Blaine. "I think that might be a bit too much for her."
"What do you mean?" said Stef, his eyebrows coming together to form a line in the middle.
"Well, nothing, really. Listen, I really have to go now, Stef. It's been, uh, interesting, and very informative." said Blaine, rising to leave. " I hope you don't mind if I don't really feel comfortable shaking your hand."
"You're mocking me, aren't you?" said Stef.
"Not at all, not at all. But you know what's funny? Remember that party you gave in our senior year, the one Andi and I went to?" said Blaine.
"Yeah, what about it?"
"Well, remember when Andi and I were in the bedroom, and Bennie said to me 'You're a faggot, Blaine.'?"
"Yeah?"
"Well, I think she had the wrong guy. Don't you?" said Blaine.
"You know, Blaine, you're an even bigger jerk than I was." said Stef.
"Relax, Stef, I'm just joking. But it's kind of funny when you think about it, isn't it? I wonder what Bennie would have said if she had known."
"You're an asshole, Blaine."
"That is a very poor choice of words, my friend. Does it turn you on to say that?"
"You know, I'm beginning to be sorry I was ever attracted to you." said Stef.
"Well, that's good. I'm glad to hear that, Stef. I hope you'll leave me alone from now on. Now goodbye."
As Blaine walked out of the coffee house, he stopped and noticed that "If You Leave" was playing on the stereo. He sighed, and as he listened to it, he felt a little guilty about the way he'd behaved, and felt he perhaps could have handled things a little better, let him down a little easier. After all, they had once been friends, even if Blaine didn't want to be more. He had just been caught by surprise was all. So he turned around and went back into the coffee house.
End
