Author's notes: Once again I'm in a bad mood. I'm getting a lot of those recently. And to vent my frustration I wrote a dark fic(Slightly happier ending I finished it the next day after a lot of chocolate.) Though this time the story is in Beyblade not Digimon.
Rei: Ray
Kai: Kai
Rai: Lee
Warning: Slash, yaoi etc. ReixKai
Disclaimer: I do not own Beyblade.
Angels and Sinners.
Have you ever felt it? The overwhelming desire to just give up completely, but for some strange reason you carry on going anyway. I'm like that at the moment, my mind has completely shut down. I just do things automatically, get up, get dressed, make my breakfast, eat breakfast etc. I hardly ever think of anything and if I do, it's of him. Though all my thoughts are bittersweet as I know I can't have what I want. No, it's not that he's rejected me. In fact that beautiful god like angel that's known as Kai Hiwatari accepted my feelings and returned them. The painful thing is . . . . is . . . he's cares but I can't have him. Rejection I could get over, the fact that he doesn't like me that way so I would have gotten over him. But what hurts is the fact that somewhere out there he likes me and hopefully (He may have gotten over me by now) wants me back but I can't go back. My dreams are just out of reach and no matter how much I grow I still can't quite reach them. My village doesn't accept same sex relationships, so when they discovered that me and Kai were together I thought they were going to ban me from retuning home. Instead they declare that Kai has corrupted me with his filthiness and that to turn me to the side of light again I can never see him. Never ever. Or the rest of the BladeBrakers. And I'm not allowed to leave China. Or the village. To supposedly protect me they are locking me up in a cage and throwing away the key. Dragging me away from the people I hold dearest. And I can assure you, it hurts like hell. After two months of being here my mind has shut down, I'm pretty much lifeless. The only thing I ever worry about is my memories of the one thing I can't have.
I've gone through hours upon hours of lessons, telling me over and over again why gay people are bad. Sins to this world and should very much me wiped from existence. I nod along, replaying the words they have printed on my mind. But I do not believe. Nor shall I ever. Because I care deeply about someone that is the same gender as me and I don't care. I don't care if people value me like dirt. Because if they can't accept me for who I am then they are the one in the wrong. It doesn't matter who you love as long as they love you back.
Did I just say love?
I think I did . . .
Oh Bugger, this just got worse. Not only have I been pulled away from all my friends but I've also been taken away from the one person that I love.
Though I don't suppose I can be too angry with them, they were told gays were sins since they were little. So you eventually believe something in the end after years of being told that don't you? I was told that when I was young but I never believed it. Mind you that's probably because my mother was from another part of China and she had never had this stomped into her. She always told me that gays weren't wrong and that people should love whoever they wanted to. That's why I never felt bad about dating Kai. My mother and father had died when I was five, and I had remembered everything they had told me and took it to heart. If my mother said something was dangerous then I never did it. But if they said it was alright then I would do it. But the Elders are trying to force that out of me, trying to remind of the so called right. Purge the darkness from my soul.
They say that I am an Angel, misguided by a devil. A sinner. Me the Angel and Kai the Sinner.
I don't think it's fair to call Kai the sin. When I'm the one that started the relationship. I try and tell them that. But they just smile sadly at me as if to say 'That poor confused child' and gently push be inside my house. Saying some things along the lines of "It's him who's poisoned your mind. It's not your fault. Do not worry yourself about it." And other meaningless things that just aren't true.
They are doing it now. Leading me outside by the hand. As if I were a small child and don't understand how the world works. They think it's some sort of disease I've been infected with and they're trying to feed me the medicine. But I don't want to be cured. Why should who I like matter? I scream all of this to them and more. Yell about how I care for Kai. Tell them of his beauty and personality. Scream myself hoarse as I declare to the world how wonderful he is. I've gone and done it now. They finally realised I want to be gay. That I like men, and I like liking them. I frown slightly to myself, as I think that sentence through. Does that make any sense? The Elders think that I'm worrying about their opinion. I can tell by the looks on their faces. But I don't care.
Well maybe I do care slightly as they've decided to kill me. Silly as it sounds they've decided I'm some sort of devil spawn that will bring them bad luck and hurt they're children. They've planned to shove a ceremonial blade through my heart. (One that's blessed in hope that it shall purge the lands of the evil I have brought.) I can see Rai's distraught face in the crowd as they declare this. Then he and the White Tigers seem to vanish as people surge forward to yell abuse at me.
I've been locked in a room underground, over the course of the night. And they're now dragging me to the village centre to be killed. I'm strapped to a table and Jabari, the head of the Elders, raises the dagger over my chest. Murmuring words of prayers as the dagger starts it's decent. I stare up, not afraid of my approaching death. Knowing that there's no one around who cares, so there's no one around worth living for. Except perhaps the White Tigers, but the Elders won't have let them interfere. So I'm surprised when a blue blur knocks the dagger out of Jabari's hands. I twist to my right, seeing a slate and cerulean haired teen running across the grounds with his white scarf trailing behind him. I start, thinking that it is perhaps all in my imagination. A painful last vision before I am pulled from this world. But then he comes closer, nearly reaching the centre. And it as if everything is unfrozen. The shock at seeing him here is wearing off and Jabari dives for the knife. Scrambling on the floor to get to it, but Kai is there first. Snatching it up he cuts me free and pulls me to my feet. Before hurling the dagger away, snatching Dranzer off the floor and diving into the crowd. Kicking and punching he drags me through the villagers and up the hill. They give chase and in all honesty I don't think we can out run them. But then I see a black helicopter hovering above the ground, a rope ladder hanging from a trapdoor. He pushes me towards it and I climb quickly as he follows. It takes off as we climb inside. I turn to look at the screaming people. Then I notice four faces up in the trees, smiling at me. The White Tigers, and I can see Rai fiddling with something as he sits there. My mobile phone, the one Max shoved into my hands so we could keep in contact as I was dragged off by the Elders. "They walked to the next village just to get a signal." He whispers in my ear as he comes to sit beside me. Ah, I didn't think we had a signal in our village. I had tried on numerous occasions to phone them since I got here but it never worked. My friends smiled up at me, and Rai waves the phone at me. Ordering me to call them or keep in contact some way or another. I nod and turn round, wrapping my arms round Kai as he plays with my hair. I gaze down at the disappearing crowd from over his shoulder.
Maybe I'm not the sinner anymore . . .
Maybe they're the ones that have sinned because they tried to kill someone because he was different. Maybe we're the angel as we're fighting for what we believe is good and right.
Maybe just Maybe.
Slightly sappy and cheesy ending but hey I'm in a good mood now that I've eaten tons of chocolate. ~ MM
