Disclaimer: Obviously I am not Yoshihiro Togashi, I claim only my original story lines and characters.
Day OneYusuke.
"Yusuke, you bastard!"
I'd be a liar if I said that my and Keiko's relationship was perfect. It wasn't, and it never would be. All I could think about was that day, over and over like my mind was getting some sick pleasure from it. The day that I royally fucked things over.
"I was so stupid to have trusted you. Even after all the time I wasted believing you would finally come around, why would I be good enough? Why would I be deserving, right? Well you've told me pretty straight now. I'm done, Yusuke Urameshi. Done with you and all of this crazy shit I've been through because I thought that you loved me."
Of course, she had been right. I mean for Kami sake, this girl had been through my death, twice, been through the Dark Tournament, stuck by my side even when we found out I was some kind of half-breed, and waited while I sorted out the giant fucking mess left for me to clean up in Demon World. I had told her when I finally came back that I was done, that no matter how much that little brat bugged me I was done being Spirit World's lackey. It was just me and her.
But then someone's always got to go for world fucking domination, and I've got to have the thrill.
Day Four
Yusuke.
Stupid..stupid..stupid, god DAMN IT YUSUKE! Look what you've gone and done now! The one girl who willingly put up with all your shit and you just push her aside. Just get off your ass and go apologize..BEG her to take you back, sleep on her front fucking porch until she does, just do SOMETHING instead of just sitting here like a useless fucking moron!
Day SevenRen.
"Hey, Kuwabara, you seen Yusuke around or what?" It wasn't typical of him to skip this many days in a row, usually Atsuko would catch on by the third day or so.
"Nah, Ren, sorry. Come to think of it, I haven't seen much of Urameshi anywhere. Not school, the arcade, nothin'."
So where is the idiot anyways? Yusuke and I had known each other since we were basically in the womb. Our mom's had been good friends (with the bottle, that is) and found themselves, go figure, knocked up at the same time. I guess it was only natural they found support in each other, as for Yusuke and I, it was a mutual understanding that bonded the two of us. Ninety-five percent of the time, yeah we were pissed, so it was just nice to have someone that got it and knew how to help you get by it.
"God damn, alright. I'll try and find Keiko, see if she knows anything."
"All right, but, Ren?"
"Hm?"
"When you do find him, could you let me know? It's kinda buggin' me that he hasn't reared his ugly mug in so long."
As much as the two didn't seem like it half of the time, Yusuke and Kuwabara were really close. They always had been, even before Yusuke died the first time. Yusuke gave Kuwabara something to strive for, and Kuwabara something for Yusuke to look forward to, even if it was smashing his face into the pavement.
"Sure thing, bud."
I guess it had been weird the first time Yusuke had explained everything to me, him being Spirit Detective and all. At the same time though, it really wasn't, I mean, what else is going to surprise you once your best friend comes back from the dead? Keiko, however, had not taken it so gracefully. It was almost like a form of denial for her, like he had never really died. He knew it would only cause her emotional turmoil if he told her everything, so he made the choice to keep her in the dark. If Botan could have only managed to keep her mouth shut, maybe their relationship wouldn't be as confusing as it is now.
"Hey, Keiko, you got a second?" She was sitting with her face glued to her textbook, bento sitting untouched in front of her.
"What?" Her voice was harsh, like she didn't even want to see me. Maybe she was studying for a test in her next class.
"Kuwabara and I are starting to get worried about Yusuke, he hasn't been anywhere in days. You haven't spoken to him, have you?"
She lifted her nose from the book and looked at me, "And why on Earth would I have spoken to Yusuke?"
My brow furrowed at the malice in her voice. What had gotten into her? "Well I don't know, maybe because the two of you just happen to be -"
"Yusuke and I broke up the other day, Ren. I haven't seen or spoken to him since."
Holy. Shit.
Yusuke.
Fuckin..stupid..moron..do something you no good..piece of shit. Can't just let her go. Can't just watch her...walk away...
Ren.
Damn it, damn it, DAMN IT! Should've gone to check on him sooner, should've known something was wrong by now.
Each second that passed I found myself willing my feet to carry me just a little bit faster. I was no Hiei, I had no training that would have made me faster. Just an ordinary human who couldn't get where she was going fast enough.
Fuckin' elevator...no time for that.
I wound my way up several flights of stairs until I ended up at Yusuke's apartment, went for the handle, and it was locked. Went for the spare key, not there.
"Damn it, Yusuke! Open the god damn door you idiot! You can't stay in there forever!" I stood there, smashing my fists against the wooden door until my hands stung. "Ass."
I ran back down the stairs and out to the rear of the property where trees still grew, climbing the one I had seen him climb up and down numerous times after our late night escapades when we were younger. Branch after branch and many sticky fingers later, I was outside his room, rapping on his window. The room was dark, and there was no sign of Yusuke coming to open the window for me. I inched further out onto the already weakening branch and pressed my face to the glass for a better look.
It wasn't pretty.
Now, don't get me wrong, Yusuke's room was usually a mess, but this, this was different. Pieces of furniture lay strewn across the floor, some whole, others in pieces; papers shredded, posters ripped off the walls, fist sized holes taking their place. I could barely see his bed from the window, pushed up against the left wall, light barely catching a pair of sock clad feet. I placed my hand over my eyes and strained them even more. Maybe he had been waving, and I just couldn't see him? It took a few moments for my eyes to adjust to the lack of light, but when they did I could finally make his entire body out. He was leaning against the wall, staring at the one opposite him. Something was wrong though, his eyes held absolutely no expression at all, completely null and void of any emotion or sign of life. His chest wasn't moving like it should have been with every in and exhale.
"Yusuke?"
Nothing.
"Yusuke, can you hear me?"
Nothing.
"Damn it, Yusuke!"
I pushed his window open and fell rather unceremoniously onto the floor. My feet couldn't push me fast enough in his direction as I slid on the papers scattered across his room. I jumped onto his bed and grabbed him by the collar. His hair was disheveled from the grip of his rough hands, grime stained face only interrupted by fresh flesh from the tears he'd undoubtedly shed. His shirt smelled of sweat from tearing his room to shreds. Most horrifyingly, I could tell from his sunken cheeks, boney wrists, and rib cage I could count, I knew he hadn't eaten in days, probably hadn't had anything to drink either.
"Hey, jackass! Yeah I'm talkin' to you! Wake the fuck up!"
I got nothing in response, just the same dead look as his head gently lolled to the side.
"Yusuke, this isn't funny! Listen, I'm here now. I know I should've come to see you sooner, but I'm just so used to you not bein' at school anyways and I just...I'm sorry okay? Just wake up, I know you're hurting inside and I know this really fuckin' sucks but you've got to snap out of this! You've got to eat, drink something, take a walk, anything!"
My pleas went on for what seemed like hours, still getting me nowhere. I could feel the tears starting to prick at my eyes. Damn it, Yusuke! You died fucking twice, made a career out of kicking ass, and you're gonna quit on me now?
"Hey asshole! Don't give up on life, on everyone that gives a fuck about you, on me, damn it! You've been through far worse than this!."
I don't know when it happened, but at some point I had given up on holding my tears back and started punching him in some deranged attempt to wake him up. He just took it. It changed absolutely nothing. So I just watched as his white t-shirt slipped from my fingers and his body fell limply back onto the bed.
"You're..such an ass, Yusuke. Givin' up after something so stupid." I fell to his chest, sobbing relentlessly, "Was it just that easy to forget about me? Forget about everyone you'd leave behind? You're one selfish bastard, Yusuke. I hope you're fuckin' happy."
Yusuke.
Kei..ko..Why'd you..NO! Don't...leave me..
"Yusuke... isn't funny..."
Kei..ko.
"...selfish bastard..."
Kei..ko?
Ren.
At this point, I didn't know whether to believe what was happening or not. Yusuke Urameshi, my best friend, the kid who kicks ass and takes names, was giving up after something that paled in comparison to the rest of the bullshit he's had to deal with.
"Kei..ko?" His voice sounded gravelly, having been put through so much misuse, but it was his voice.
"Yusuke? Hey! Yusuke, over here!"
"...Ren? Where's Keiko? I just heard her..."
"Are you serious? She dumps your ass, leaves you fucking comatose, and she's still all you think about?"
"She was just here...calling me a bastard."
"I've been here for god knows how fucking long trying to wake your ass up out of that god damn trance you were stuck in. Hate to break it to you, but I'm the only one here. Keiko's not coming."
I could see what little life had returned to his eyes starting to slip away as he rolled on to his side whispering Keiko's name under his breath.
"Hey...hey, Yusuke, stay with me buddy. HEY! Wake the FUCK UP!"
"What fucking GOOD will it do me?"
"Don't you fucking snap at me. She left your ass for dead. I'm the one who broke into your apartment, trying hard as I could to wake you up until eventually I was just fucking crying!"
"You..what?"
"You locked your apartment and hid the key, so I climbed in through the god damn window to find you boney as fuck and totally unresponsive."
"She...left me..."
"For fuck sake, Yusuke! Keiko doesn't deserve you. She doesn't understand that sometimes you just need to skip school, need to kick some ass, need to save the fucking world. If she's not going to accept who you are then to hellwith her. You need better than that."
His brow furrowed as he sat up against the wall again, clenching his jaw. We sat in silence for a few minutes, neither of us really knowing what to say to the other. Instead, I reached for my bag.
"Here," I said, chucking my bento at him, "you haven't eat in days. You look emaciated."
"...Thanks." I watched him as he fumbled with it, first unable to open it, then just an uncoordinated mess as he tried to eat. I sighed gently, taking it from him.
"Here." I lifted the food to his mouth and waited for him to finish with it before I did the same again. It was bizarre, seeing him so feeble, so helpless. I don't know what I would have done had he not woken up, probably the same as him.
Yusuke.
She hadn't said anything to me in a while, but I couldn't stop thinking about what she had already.
"... Keiko doesn't deserve you. She doesn't understand that sometimes you just need to skip school, need to kick some ass, need to save the fucking world. If she's not going to accept who you are then to hell with her. You need better than that."
I needed...better? ...Someone who understands.
I watched her as she pulled her bento from her bag, and then she looked up at me. Am I really that fucking stupid? She looked like her entire world was crashing down around her. She had broken into my apartment, ripped me from my pit of depression, and now she's spoon feeding me like a fucking baby.
"Hey," I said, taking the box from her before she went for the next bite, "thanks. You know you didn't have to do this."
She quirked her eyebrow at me.
"What are you, fuckin' crazy or some shit? Of course I did, you're all I've got."
A/N:
Hey all! Well, this story has been on quite the adventure let me tell you. It started as a one shot I wrote...yikes like five years ago? Then it migrated over to this account so I could keep track of it. It's called Inconsolable, and you're more than welcome to read the story as just a one shot, I've only changed a few minuscule things in this version so it lends itself to being a longer story. As it turns out, when this was first published I pretty much just did it for myself. I was dealing with some person issues and wasn't really expecting any kind of response but found myself with quite a few people who were subscribing and asking for more. At the time, I didn't have any kind of direction or intent for this story other than the oneshot, but fast forward...wow i guess almost another four years to the day something hit me and I started writing more. It won't be a million chapters long, and I can't promise it'll be the best thing you've ever read from YYH on this site (That honor is reserved for Future Talk by Graphospasm /cough), but this is a story that I love a lot. PLUS THERE'S JUST NOT ENOUGH YUSUKE FICS ON THIS DAMN SITE OK. Also, yes swearing will happen in this story, but this opener is pretty much the worst of it. Given the two characters personalities, it shouldn't come as any surprise that when things get heated the dictionary goes out the window.
-M
p.s. Go check out my bestie's Hiei fic, Hiei of the Thousand Eyes by InTheArmsofaTheif. It's likely that you'll see some vaguely similar fanon/assumed canon between our stories because YYH is literally the reason we became friends a whopping 12 years ago. We're literally adults who still talk about the same show we did when we were 12...every time we hang out.
