Chapter 1
I open my eyes sighing really loud. I wished I wouldn't wake up. I sit up and look around my small room. I live alone now that my mom died.
She was in a horrible car crash. She didn't even make to the hospital. I hear my phone ring from the living room. I didn't want to talk to anybody.
I get up and head to the bathroom. I look at myself in the mirror and frown. I had dark circles under my eyes,my dirty blonde hair was all over the place and my eyes were dark and lifeless.
I hate life so much.
I shake my head disappointed at myself. I quickly brush my hair and do a messy bun. I don't care if I look good or not.
I walk back in my room and change into my black jeans,blue long sleeve,boots and a jean jacket. I grab my bag and walk to the living room.
The house was a mess.
Oh well.
I grab my phone and look at Riley's text message.
'Come down for breakfast' Riley is best friend. We do everything together. I love her like a sister. But I've been lying to her. I told her my aunt has been living with me but she left three days after the funeral. I just tell her my aunt leaves for work before me and that's why they don't see her.
Till now they believed me.
I lock the door behind me and walk down the stairs to Riley's place. Today is the last of school. Summer vacation. We still have 1 year of high school.
I open the door and see Riley talking to Lucas on the phone.
They finally got together and they been together 2 years.
"Maya breakfast" says with a smile. I force a smile and shake my head.
"My aunt made pancakes" I said waiting for Riley to get off the phone.
"Uncle josh is coming today Riley so be here by 6" said walking in the kitchen fixing his tie. Uncle josh was my crush but not anymore. Well I think I don't. He always ignores me and has girlfriends all over the place.
"Yes dad come on Maya Lucas is waiting downstairs" Riley says happily. Ugh her happiness is killing me.
She pulls me out the apartment to the stairs. Thank god school is almost over.
(At lunch)
I make sure Riley isn't following me. I walk in the girls change room and lock it. This is my hiding place. My noise free room.
I slip on the ground and take out a little black box from the bottom of my bag.
I know this is what I shouldn't do. It helps me forget the memories of my mom. Helps with the sadness and pain.
"Do you have to go mom?" I whine to her. She was getting ready for a party.
"Yes Maya I have to go. Your father is counting on this" my father left us a few years ago. I still hate him but my mom and him are giving each other a second chance. I say to her that he will break her heart again and become a fucking asshole all over again.
"He's an asshole mom why are you doing this?" She gave me a serious look.
"I still love him Maya. He is still your father show some respect" she says fixing her hair. She was wearing a short red dress with black heels. She had her hair down and red lipstick.
"Tell me after he breaks your heart again" I mumble crossing my arms.
"Okay I left you money for pizza. Invite Riley and her boyfriend if you want. I'll be back by 11" she says grabbing her purse. I follow her to the front door. She turns around smiling.
"I love you Maya" she says.
"Love you too mom" I hug her tightly. I close the behind me and jump on the couch.
"It's past 11 Riley what if something happened to her?" I was nervously pacing the room. Riley and Lucas were looking at me.
"Maya please sit down your making me dizzy" Riley grabs my shoulder making me look at her.
"Let's sit down and calmly call her. Just relax okay?" I nod sitting between Lucas and Riley.
I start biting my nails. I have a bad feeling like something bad is about to happen.
That's when I hear someone knocking on the door. Lucas gets up opening the door to and . They looked like they seen a ghost.
"Mom dad what are you doing here?" Riley says surprised.
"Maya we" let out a loud sob. Riley runs towards her trying to calm her down.
sits beside me grabbing my hands.
I look at him confused.
"Maya we got a phone call from the police" I slowly nod still confused.
"It's your mom...she's was in a car crash and"
"And what? Is she okay? I need to see her" I stand up but he hugs me.
"She died Maya" I felt my body go numb. My legs turned into noodles. This can't be happening. My mom can't be died.
"No please tell me your joking!" I yell trying to push away but he just hugged me.
"No please she can't leave me" I sob in his arms.
I didn't realize I was crying hugging my legs.
The doctors didn't want me to see her body. The driver and her died at the scene. My father came to the funeral and I asked him what happened before. He said they got into a fight and she left in her car crying. I yelled at him that I wouldn't ever forgive him.
That was a year ago.
A year without talking to my mom. A year without fighting with her. A year without hearing her voice.
I open the box and take out two new razors.
I need to forget the pain. The memories and this is the only way.
I place the cold sharp razor in my hand and slash my skin. I watch how the blood runs down my arm.
I felt my tears fall down. I close my eyes feeling my arm go numb.
Just the way I like it.
{{so Maya and Riley are in high school in grade 11. This story will be kinda sad and swearing. Comment what you think and if I should continue.}}
