Song to listen to: 'Cold as Stone' by Lady Antebellum
Chapter name: Cold As Stone
Summary: 'Scars left when it's said and done remain' ~Lady A Astrid deals with Hiccup leaving her.
It had been a year.
One goddamn year.
Astrid can still feel the pain she felt in the airport. Though she never lets it shows, she's slowly breaking down.
She hasn't cut in a good six months, Astrid graduated high school with honors, been on a fair share of dates, but, nothing seems to take away the pain.
She had opened her heart to a boy, who crushed it into a million pieces.
Maybe... maybe Hiccup had a good reason for leaving, it's not like he left to... strip.
Hiccup went to make prosthetics for poor kids.
Astrid looked down at Hiccups' old AC-DC tee and clutched it closer to her. She had work into about an hour, but doesn't care.
Astrid looked around her apartment and spotted something silver on her coffee table.
Her razor. Her trusty old razor.
The only thing that hasn't hurt Astrid.
You know, because it can't...
Astrid has grown stronger than her razor in the last six months, went to the Psych Ward for a week and a half, and started Prozac.
Astrid saw Ruff being dropped off by Fishlegs outside their apartment, and wished for Hiccup to be back and take her out. Just for one more date, that's all she's asking for.
"Hey Astrid..." Said Ruff walking into their apartment "What's up?"
"Nothing..." Astrid said, hiding the shirt under her legs
"Astrid..." Said Ruff, sighing seeing the shirt "do you miss Hiccup?"
Astrid glared "of course not! He left me! I'm over him..."
Because she doesn't. She doesn't miss that lying little rat one bit.
Ruff rolled her eyes and walked to her room. Astrid looked down at the shirt and sighed...
There's something about cutting yourself after six months of stopping.
Maybe she's doing it to stop the pain, maybe she's doing this to remind her of the pain Hiccup made her feel...
Staring at her bloody arm and seeing the word 'Hiccup', Astrid curses herself.
You would think after a year she would be over it. That she would have found someone new.
But...
Hiccup had saved her
From Sam
From death
From... herself even.
Hiccup was the only guy that could make her stomach do damn flip-flops when he smiled. Hiccup could make her blush with that stupid little nickname he used... something like 'Milady' or something like that.
Hiccup was... is pretty damn special. And... and where ever he is...
Astrid hopes he fell down a latter into a pool of lava...
Okay, maybe she doesn't wish that, but still.
Sometimes she wishes that they had never met, and Sam was still abusing her, because... this heartbreak hurts more than when Sam first raped her in ninth grade...
Astrid glared at the blood dripping down her arm, cursing it.
This is Hiccup's fault. She hates Hiccup, more than anything...
But, then she starts to think about... about all the good times she had with him,
He risked his life for her, when Sam tried to kill her. He stayed with her even though she was broken, way beyond repair.
He... he brought out a side she didn't know she had...
He made her feel alive when everyone else made feel like shit.
He treated her like glass when she was stone...
This isn't fair, Astrid... Astrid just wants Hiccup back. She just want him to hold her and protect her.
Maybe Astrid is selfish...
Astrid wishes that she was numb, so she can't feel a thing. Because this pain... is just way too much to handle...
Astrid stood up and walked to her phone. She unlocked it and stared at the picture she took of him in the hospital. When she would kill for him to open his eyes. When she would kill for him to tinker with something.
When she would kill for a kiss...
Astrid told always told herself to delete the picture, but, she can't seem to. Because it's the last thing she has of him, that and his sweatshirt.
That sweatshirt has been washed so many times, that Hiccup's familiar scent has gone away, and maybe that's a good thing. Or maybe it's not, Astrid hasn't decided on that yet.
"Astrid?" She hears Ruff say, voice laced with worry.
"Yeah?" Asked Astrid
"I, uh, have to go to work... you okay here?"
"I'm fine."
"You sure, you have been in there for two hours, do you need to talk?"
"I'm fine. I promise."
"Okay, I'll be back at midnight." With that, Astrid's alone again.
It's about nine o'clock at night and Astrid is at a bar downtown, dancing with a guy who, in Astrid's drunken mind, looks just like Hiccup.
She takes her back to her place, both caught up in the heat of the moment. Just before the Hiccup look-a-like enters her, Astrid pushed him off of her. All the sudden, he's Sam, and Hiccup's nowhere in sight to save her.
"Hiccup!" Astrid yells before she can stop herself.
The guy yells at her, probably to call her a slut, a whore, a user, but Astrid tunes it out. She hears a door slam, and Astrid curls into a ball.
After about ten minutes of balling her eyes out, Astrid looks up from her ball. She hiccupped and took a deep breath. It's then that Astrid decided to close her heart, and it's not open to anyone.
She's cold as stone.
So, part one of two. The next part is going to be about Hiccup! I own nothing!
