Prologue


May 3rd, 2009

Serena sat in the penthouse, staring out of her window at the city in front of her. The city that she had once loved. The city that she had once called home.

But now, as she looked out over the magnificent high rises that she had grown so used to, she felt nothing. No joy or happiness, anyways. Rather, she felt pain, sorrow, and anger. The high-rises that once moved her, leaving her in awe at the incredible human construction, now simply reminded her of how empty her existence had become. Shallow interactions with the Manhattan Elite were crushing her inside, bringing down the joy that she had once been defined by.

And above all, she was filled with anger. The Gossip Girl email blast during graduation had humiliated her and her friends. The vitriol with which the secret blogger struck left Serena feeling constant caginess, ready to pounce and jump on anyone who so much as breathed the wrong way around her.

She hated the anger and helplessness that she felt. Serena, always the Queen, always in control, felt utterly and completely useless, unable to discover the identity of Gossip Girl, unable to unearth her true identity, unable to understand why she felt such need to crush lives around Manhattan.

But through all that, there was one lasting, more personal feeling. She felt completely and utterly alone. Yet another failure with Dan to reignite their relationship, this one falling apart at the heels of an affair with a teacher that she had come to love and respect, left her feeling unwanted. Vulnerable. Raw. Not good enough for anyone.

The fighting with Blair had not helped. The constant tug of war between the two for control over Constance had done damage that she knew could be unrepairable. The only thing that could repair their relationship, she knew, was time and distance. Despite reconciliation before graduation, Serena was well aware of the icy current that still ran between them.

Serena sighed and rubbed her temples, closing her eyes and trying to block the pressing dark thoughts that threatened to close in around her. She leaned back in her chair and grabbed a remote, flipping on the television in hopes of distracting her brain. She mindlessly flipped through the channels, focusing more on finding something than finding something specific. After a few moments, she saw a beautiful beach and decided to settle in on a rerun of Baywatch. The trash tv was her welcome respite at that moment.


Standing on the beach in San Diego, Alex Walker stared out at the ocean in front of him. He bent over, taking a long breath before straightening out, putting his hands on his head and breathing heavily.

Alex was a tall man, his body muscular and toned from months of intense military training. His skin was tan from days spent in the sun, his piercing blue eyes staring out at the ocean as he tried to find his breath. He ran his hands through his short brown hair and the stubble on his face as sweat dripped down his head and onto the sand in a constant stream.

The instructor he ran with was worse for wear after the run, having tried to keep up with his student before nearly falling to the ground, at which moment Alex had mercifully decided to take a rest. The long fifteen-mile run had left both exhausted, but the nature of Navy Special Warfare was to push oneself as far as possible.

The instructor looked up at him after a moment on the ground and said, "Walker, I have half a mind to send you into the kill house for a little CQB against the rest of the class for making me run this far on a beach."

Alex shrugged. "Sorry, Instructor Capers. Figured that you could handle a little run. Guess I was wrong."

Capers glared, the sweat pouring off his moustache, but the man simply muttered, "I hope you're happy with yourself, Sir."

The young officer smiled in response. "Oh, I definitely am."

Capers stood up, managing a few steps on suddenly weak legs. "You better be prepared to carry me to the rack, Lieutenant."

"Hooyah to that, sir."

Alex was a young officer, the lieutenant a sprightly twenty-one years old. He had finished high school early, going through Basic Underwater Demolition/SEAL Training and SEAL Qualification Training at seventeen. He deployed to Afghanistan and Iraq in his first two deployments at eighteen, Afghanistan and Libya at nineteen, and Iraq again at twenty. At twenty years old, he became a mustang, leaving the enlisted ranks for Officer Candidate School and the chance to become the youngest officer in the Navy Special Warfare ranks. Now, after time at OCS and going through Green Team selection, he prepared for his first deployment as an officer with the Naval Special Warfare Development Group, better known to the public as SEAL Team Six.

Capers looked up at Alex and asked, "Do you think you're ready for this?"

Alex sighed and shook his head. "I don't know."

Capers nodded. "The man who knows he is prepared for everything is prepared for nothing."

Alex took that and thought on it for a moment before asking, "Do you think I'm ready, instructor?"

Capers replied, "You're one of the best operators I've ever seen, sir. Good leader, elite reflexes, great instincts. You can do this, Lieutenant. You're one of the best I've seen come through Green Team. Bravo is lucky to have you."


Serena slipped out of the apartment, hoping to get some chicken parmesan and gelato as comfort food. As soon as she stepped out of the elevator into the lobby, however, she was ambushed by more paparazzi, taking pictures and yelling questions at her. She kept her head down, sliding her purse over her face as she rushed to the waiting limo. She slipped in and sat down at the edge of the car, leaning her head against the window as the tears began to slip down her cheeks. Her life was in tatters. Everything was falling apart around her.

She looked up at the driver and said, "Skyhook. Drive. NOW."

The driver nodded and said, "Yes, Ms. Van Der Woodsen. Right away."

The limo rolled forward and gently glided towards the club that was located not far from the apartment, leaving the reporters and photographers behind. She stared out of the window at the passing skyscrapers and began to cry harder. The loneliness was soul crushing. The hate was infuriating to her spirit.

Change was coming.

It had too…


Serena sat alone at the bar, spinning a whiskey sour around in an ornate glass as she stared blankly into her cup, alternating between the golden liquid and the phone that sat on the wood bar in front of her. Many men at the bar and around the club caught sight of her, noticing her natural beauty with hair pulled back, a vibrant striped shirt, tight black skirt, and heels. None approached her, however, as Serena's dejected and almost angry countenance discouraged any potential suitors from approaching. A few long glances were met with an angry glare by Serena, further discouraging any attempts to impress the beautiful blonde.

She picked the phone up and set down the cup, twirling the phone in her hand as she sat there, trying to find someone to call, not wanting to drink alone. Serena, the Queen of Manhattan, looked at her phone and realized that there was no one. Blair was with Chuck. Dan didn't want to speak with her. The rest of her friends were shallow, at best, and would provide little support at a time when she desperately needed it.

As she scrolled through the contacts, a name stuck out to her. Nate's.

She took in a deep breath as she clicked the contact information, staring at the number pop up in front of her. She knew that the last time she had been alone with Nate in a bar, things had transpired and spun out of control, nearly ruining her friendship with Blair and ostracizing her throughout the school.

But then, she thought, what was there to lose? Nate and Blair had called it quits for the final time, she imagined. Blair was happy now, having found Chuck, and Serena had no intentions of having a fling, let alone beginning another relationship. She just…needed someone to talk to. The summer spent with Nate before their senior year had been spent living a façade so that Nate could sneak around and have an affair, but the pair had also spent a lot of time together. Long nights with deep talks became the norm as Nate attempted to talk her through the breakup with Dan and Serena attempted to help Nate make sense of his broken family.

As the pair returned from Long Island the previous August, things had changed. The friends returned to their regular relationship, the special closeness of the summer gone. Serena missed that closeness. She didn't want romance or a hookup. She didn't want to chase an old fling. She simply needed a friend. In that moment, she knew that Nate was the person that she needed to talk to. Somehow, she couldn't escape the feeling that for some reason, he needed to talk to her too.


Alex sat in the dive locker, staring at the equipment laid out in front of him. He had graduated Green Team that morning. That evening, he would board a C130, fly across the country to Camp Hero Naval Air Station, and meet his new team. As he stared down at his body armor and the ceremonial spartan helmet flag patch that he had been handed, he realized, "This is it. I'm one of the most dangerous men on the planet. I'm the best of the best."

He began to put his gear into a couple of duffel bags, rifle cases, and foot lockers. SEALs didn't travel unprepared, but that also meant that they didn't travel lightly. As he loaded down his equipment and prepared for his flight across the country, he felt his phone begin to ring. He looked down, saw the caller, took a deep breath, and answered, "Hello?"

His sister Quinn was on the other line. She simply asked, "Did you make it?"

He smiled. "Yeah, Quinny. I made it."

Back home, Quinn, her long golden blonde hair pulled back into a ponytail, felt tears enter her blue eyes. She was proud of her brother, someone that she had looked up to for years, but she was no fool. She knew what his new job meant for his safety. She knew that the brother that she saw so rarely would be gone even more than he already was, fighting people who were more dangerous than he was already fighting, and putting his life on the line more than he already did. She was terrified, but afraid to admit it. She had idolized him since his family had adopted her and more than she was scared of what his new job meant for his safety, she wanted to support him. As long as he had lived, all he had wanted to be was a soldier. She knew he had found the pinnacle of success that he had been searching for. Terrified though she was, she loved him too much to let him know.

But Alex knew his sisters well. He could read Quinn and knew that she was feeling fear. He could hear it in her voice, sensing it in her lack of words. He quietly said, "Quinny? I love you. I love you so, so much."

She smiled through the tears. "I love you too, Alex. I miss you..."

"I miss you too, Quinny. Give my love to everyone, okay? I'll call when I can."

"Alex?"

Alex, knowing the question that was poised on her lips, whispered, "I'll be safe, Quinny. I promise."

Alex ended the call, returning to his packing, turning on country music and humming along as he finished his packing. On the other end, Quinn dropped the phone and buried her head into her arms, leaning on the arm of her love seat and bursting into tears. She missed her brother and couldn't escape an ominous cloud of terror that surrounded her best friend.


Nate sat in his apartment, staring out at the New York skyline. He looked up from the window, trying to catch a glimpse of the blackened sky. He saw lights, but he knew they were planes, coming back and forth from the holding patterns above the city as they prepared to land at JFK and La Guardia. He sighed and walked away from the window, taking a sip from a glass of whiskey as he looked at the phone in his hand.

The phone had been on for several minutes, the screen still frozen on the same page that it had been when he opened it. Serena's number.

He sighed and leaned back against the wall, rubbing his face with his hands before taking another sip of whiskey. He had a difficult conversation awaiting him. He simply couldn't find the words to start.


Alex stood on the tarmac at the Naval Amphibious Base Coronado, staring at the C130 that would be taking him to his new home. He was nondescript, wearing jeans, a blue Navy SEALs t shirt, boots, and aviators, standing off to the side of a hangar as the C130 slowly backed towards its resting position.

As the plane slowed to a crawl and stopped, the rear bay opened, revealing a tall woman with hair that was dark and streaked with blonde. She wore a black business suit, aviators, and radiated business. She stepped out of the plane and onto the tarmac at a brisk pace, walking over to Alex and greeting him with a handshake. "Lieutenant. It's good to finally meet you. I'm Agent Haley Dunphy with the CIA."

Alex nodded and shook her hand firmly. "Agent Dunphy, it's a pleasure."

She looked down at the gear boxes and duffel bags accompanying the SEAL and asked, "Need help with the luggage?"

Alex nodded, "Yeah, I wouldn't turn it down, thanks. So, you fly all this way to help me load a few boxes?"

She shook her head. "I like to meet new team leaders as soon as possible. We'll be working together quite a bit, as you'll be running ops off my intel."

Alex replied, "Well, I look forward to making the world a better place alongside you, ma'am. Anything I need to know off the bat?"

She shrugged as she followed Alex inside the plane and set down the gear before they moved to their seats. "I'm brash, I'm arrogant, and I'm usually right."

Alex nodded in response as he took his seat. "Roger that, Agent."

She continued, "But I care. I'm going to get to know you, whatever family you have, your new friends, and I will watch your back. Mission 1A is to faithfully defend the United States against all enemies foreign and domestic. Mission 1B is to keep the operators, YOU, safe. That doesn't just mean downrange, either. I intend to protect you from some very dangerous people that will want to find out who you are. Copy?"

Alex nodded. "Copy that, Agent. Looking forward to working with you."

She nodded and leaned back, grabbing a stack of papers from her intel bag and keying up her laptop, intent on using the flight to comb through various bits of information in order to create a new target package. Alex kept his shades on, kicking over and laying down across several seats, hoping to take a nap. As he slowly began to drift off, he asked, "Hey, what's it like in Montauk? I've never been to Long Island before."

She shrugged and replied, "Well, the Hampton's are just down the road. A bunch of pretty rich girls go their looking for a fix of adventure and a hot hookup. That seems to make most of the young single guys on base pretty excited."

Alex chuckled and closed his eyes. "You know, this might not be a bad gig…"


Nate caught a glimpse of Serena as soon as he walked in the bar. She was clad in a tight black dress, heels, and with her long blonde hair pulled back. He walked over to her, smiling warmly, gently gripping her shoulder before wrapping her in a hug. She smiled at the sight of him, returned the embrace, and said, "Hey."

"Hey, yourself. I'm glad you called."

She nodded as he took a seat next to her. "Thanks for coming. I just…I needed to talk. To someone. Anyone. And as I looked through the phone…"

Nate nodded. "I was the only person that you felt like you could talk to. Yeah, I know the feeling."

Serena nodded and gently squeezed his arm. "Yeah…I kind of thought you might."

Nate nodded again and stared into her eyes. "Look…there's something I need to tell you."

Serena nodded. "Okay. You want to go somewhere quiet?"

Nate nodded. "Yeah…I'd like that, thanks."


Darkness had long fallen when Alex's plane landed. He groaned as he woke up, stretched, cracked a few bones, and then stumbled up, looking over to find Agent Dunphy still hard at work on the target packages that she had started on a few hours earlier. She chuckled, not missing a beat while working, and remarked, "You SEALs nap like no one on this planet."

Alex rolled his eyes and muttered, "Yeah, yeah, whatever. You have fun?"

She replied, "Always do, Lieutenant."

The rear door dropped to reveal another empty tarmac and a relatively quiet evening, at least by the standards of a functioning Naval Air Station. Still looking at her work, the agent said, "The team won't meet you till tomorrow morning. Till then, JSOC left you a truck and house keys, per your instructions."

Alex nodded, looking out of the plane to find an old, nondescript Toyota Tacoma. He nodded a farewell to Dunphy, grabbed the duffel bags that held his personal belongings, and walked to the truck. He looked in the wheel well, found the set of keys, confirmed both truck and house keys, and then tossed his gear in the truck bed before hopping in and turning on the old horse.

Five minutes later, he was off base and cruising along Highway 27, following the printed directions to his new home that had been left in the glovebox. A short drive later, he pulled into the driveway of an old, small house placed just off Old Montauk Highway. He got out, slammed the door shut, and grabbed his two bags and backpack, walking up to the door and unlocking it, entering into his new home.

It was small and humble. Two-bedroom, one bathroom, a small kitchen and living room, and a porch that overlooked a small green yard that rolled into the beautiful white sands that met the Atlantic Ocean. The house was plain, with a lot of whites, blues, tans, and mixed light colors that accompanied most oceanside residences.

He smiled. He had been christened a new operator, he had the small house on the ocean that he had always dreamed of, he could wake up every morning and surf before going to shoot guns all day, and there were hundreds of attractive women roaming about the island, no doubt. "This…this is the life."


Serena and Nate moved away from the bar, weaving through the throngs of people, before making their way through the bar, the VIP area, and out onto a semi private balcony. Nate and Serena made their way to the edge, taking a seat at a small table that was placed next to the glass walls that surrounded the terrace. She chuckled and shook her head. "I will never understand why they thought this was a good idea. The glass walls terrify me."

Nate opened his mouth to speak, but the words couldn't come. He was frozen, unable to voice his thoughts. Serena looked at him, concerned at his appearance. He was disheveled, anxious, and seemed to have the weight of the world on his shoulders. She asked, "Nate…is everything alright?"

Nate shook his head. "No…I mean, yes…I mean…I don't know how to respond to that."

She nodded and smiled awkwardly. "Clearly."

Nate ignored the gentle joke and said, "I-"

The words couldn't come. Confused and now growing slightly paranoid, Serena asked, "Nate, what's wrong?"

Nate shook his head. He had rehearsed the moment for days. What he would say, what he would do, how she would react, all of it had been carefully planned in his mind. But in that moment, staring at his friend that he knew was about to be crushed, it all fled. Every plan, every word, every thought, all dissipated in that moment. Wordlessly, he simply reached into his blazer, drew out a set of papers, and slid them across the table to her.

She took them silently, now more confused than ever. She asked, "Nate, what are these?"

Nate was silent for a moment before quietly responding, "My enlistment papers."

She stared at him for a moment before sharply responding, "Your WHAT?!"

Nate nodded. "You heard me, Serena."

"You're enlisting?! Are you out of your damn mind?!"

Nate shrugged. "Honestly? Maybe."

She growled, "Now is not the time to joke with me, Nate."

Nate simply responded, "I'm not laughing, Serena."

Serena glared at him for a moment before begrudgingly opening the papers and reading through his assignment. "San Diego…BUD/S…what the hell is this?"

Nate simply responded, "I'm going to BUD/S."

"Which is…"

"Basic Underwater Demolition SEAL Training."

Serena's eyes nearly popped out of her head. "You…you're joining the SEALs?"

He nodded. "Yeah…if I make the cut, yeah."

Serena slid the papers back over, rubbed her temples, and closed her eyes. "Nate…honestly, I don't know what to think. I don't know what to say."

Nate shook his head. "You don't have to say anything. You can be angry, mad, sad, disappointed, whatever…but you deserved to hear it from me."

Serena sighed, opened her eyes, and leaned back in her chair, trying to process the shattering information that Nate had just shared with her. After a moment of silence, she asked, "How did everyone else react when you told them?"

Nate was quiet for a moment before responding, "I haven't told anyone else, Serena. You're the only one that knows."

Serena stared back at him. "Why me?"

Nate shrugged and sadly replied, "Who else would I tell? Everyone else is wrapped up in their world."

She stared at him for a moment, glimpsing the sadness in his eyes, before getting up and moving across the table, pulling a chair up next to him and taking his hand in hers, hoping to comfort her friend. "Nate, why are you doing this?"

Nate stared at the skyline for a moment before responding, "Serena…all my life has been about something bigger. The Archibald family name, the business, all of it…my life was about living up to this image and becoming the next Archibald man. But now…"

Serena nodded. "Things have changed."

Nate nodded in agreement. "After everything that happened…I wanted to serve something bigger. Make my life about someone other than me."

Serena argued gently, "Nate, you can do that in the Peace Corps. You don't have to join the Navy and fight in a war."

Nate replied, "It's not just about serving, Serena. I need to fight for honor. Prove that I have courage and conviction. And most of all…"

"Yeah?"

Nate sighed. "…I need to make a difference."

Serena was quiet for a moment. The Nate that sat in front of her was so much sadder than her friend had ever been before. She could tell that the weight of the world, his father's business dealings, the accusations of Gossip Girl, and so much more were weighing on his heart. She knew he needed to leave, but this? This was crazy, wasn't it?"

Serena took a deep breath, suppressed her thoughts, and said, "Nate…I don't understand why you're doing this. But…I support you. You're my friend. I just want what's best for you."

He wrapped her in a tight hug, and they held each other for a long moment, simply happy to have a friend to rely on. After they pulled away, she asked, "When do you leave?"

"The day after tomorrow. Eight weeks of boot camp and then I'm off to BUD/S. If I make it through those six months…hopefully I'll make it through the rest of training and become a SEAL."

Serena, remembering the horror stories that she and every other teen had heard through pop culture, asked, "How many people quit?"

"Eighty percent drop out in the first few weeks."

"Do you think you have what it takes?"

Nate shrugged. "We're about to find out."