I'm so sorry.
Remus stifled a sob, the same words going round in his head; replaying the old mans last words to him, over and over.
I'm so sorry.
His words were useless.
Steadying a shaky hand he rolled up his sleeve, his eyes glassy with unshed tears as he injected the clear liquid into his veins, a shiver of relief and pain coursing through him as he fell back onto the dirty mattress.
What good were words?
The young man snorted, the pain falling from his mind as the drug worked its way through his body, relieving him from the dead weight of regret.
Words were worthless.
Betrayal.
Murder.
Azkaban.
All worthless.
A sudden explosion from outside woke him from his reverie and he lurched to his feet, his vision blurred as he made his way through the dirty apartment to the balcony, unfocused eyes staring down at the busy street below.
People were screaming, some running in terror and others frozen in fear as those around them fell to the ground, their bodies lifeless, faces etched forever with horror and sadness.
That was when Remus saw them, the unmistakable black robes and white masks of Death Eaters, blasting their way through the crowd as innocent people, people Remus knew fell, forming pools of death at their feet.
And then just as suddenly as they appeared the Death Eaters were gone; falling with the same cold grace as their victims, mouths opened with the same horrific screams as those around them.
Remus watched, a wave of nausea spreading through him, amplified by the drug as he watched Aurors apparate, shouting the same unforgivable curses as the unforgivable themselves.
And then suddenly he was laughing; a low gargle escaping his throat as his body shuddered violently, pressing his hands to his mouth to muffle the sound, eyes still watching in torn desperation at the massacre below.
He watched, eyes wide in horror and mouth slack in grim amusement as another person apparated, Grey robes flying as he tore up the street, tearing the bodies of murdered and murderers alike; his face alight with the same youthful glee as always.
And he was laughing.
The same hysterical laughter that had Remus choking flew freely from his mouth, carried on a breeze that smelt of death and dust, making his hair stand on end and his skin crawl.
The newcomer turned and stared at him, grinning as Remus' body convulsed with sobs and laughter, before pointing his wand at him.
Remus looked up, to see his former friend utter two words.
"Goodbye Moony."
Remus jolted awake, gasping for breath as he looked around, expecting to see Sirius; face grinning at him and wand pointed.
But he wasn't there.
No one was.
It was a nightmare.
Sighing, he looked around, a shaking hand wiping cold sweat away as his eyes fell upon the used needle on the floor.
Hesitantly he reached down and picked it up, traces of the drug still evident within. Suddenly Remus felt nauseated, bile rising in his throat as he traced the red mark of injection on his arm with a finger.
The drug worked during the day, but memories turned nightmares always found him when he slept.
Letting out a sob, he threw the needle across the floor, burying his head in his lap as the old mans words came to him once more.
I'm so sorry.
A/N: So there we have it. It was supposed to end different, and it was supposed to be a song fic, but in the end it didn't turn out that way.
It was supposed to include this:
"Now the drugs don't work,
They just make it worse,
But I know I'll see your face again." –the verve
But, in the end I decided to end it with the same starting words, coz any further and it would have really sucked badly.
Anyways reviews are desperately wanted, tell me if it sucked or if it was like another persons, coz if it was I'll take it down or change it. Thanx
