A lovely mother and son moment for this one, since I don't think we got nearly enough of them on the show, and I think Rhydian would have needed a little comfort from his mum after he was separated from Maddy.
Ceri's POV.
I smiled softly at Jana's sleeping form, her chest rising and falling steadily under one of those thick fluffy human blankets they had here. To say I was relieved was an understatement. I'd been so scared... I'd tried everything, every Wolfblood remedy I knew, what was left of the human medicine we'd gotten for Gwynn, I'd even tried to take the bullet out myself... But as the days went on she'd just gotten weaker and paler... She'd been slipping away... I'd been losing her and it was terrifying...
I'd begun to love Jana like one of my own, she was the daughter I'd never been lucky enough to have. Before I'd found Rhydian again I'd generally steered clear of her... She was a reminder of my lost little boy, of how old he would have been, all the milestones I was missing...
But funnily enough, it had been Rhydian's human mother than had inspired me to take Jana under my wing... Our kind very rarely provided for a cub that wasn't our own, in the wild we couldn't really afford to, all our efforts had to go to our own cubs... But seeing the way Rhydian's 'foster mother' looked at my son , it made my want to be the same for Jana. When her mother had passed she'd been young, too young, and as much as Alric loved her, sometimes a girl just needed her mother.
I leaned back against the wooden board at the top of the bed and brushed her hair back out of her eyes, tucking it behind her ear. She was finally getting some colour back in those cheeks. These new human remedies were working wonders, I for one wouldn't be questioning their healers techniques again any time soon, even if they were making her a little drowsy.
There was a crash followed by growling coming from outside the door and I sat up quickly, Jana startled and tried to pull herself up only too grimace and fall back again. "What's going on?!" She mumbled sleepily.
I held her still for a moment manoeuvring my way awkwardly over the mattress and trying not to topple off, such a strange human contraption. "Lay still, Cariad. I'll deal with it."
After making sure she wasn't going to try and get up I rushed though the door towards the growls, to find Rhydian and Aran at a stand off outside one of the dens or 'rooms' as Rhydian called them. "Don't you dare go in there! You've got no right!.."
Aran stepped closer, so that they were almost chest to chest, and bared his teeth. "Hey!" I moved to push myself between them, my back to Rhydian, ready to protect him if I needed to. Aran was like my baby brother, I'd known him and Meinir since they were cubs, used to blame them for a lot of the trouble I caused as a teenager... But Rhydian was my son and I'd never let anyone hurt him, not ever.
Rhydian leaned around me and snarled, eyes bright in anger. "This is my territory! If I catch you going in there again!"
"Defiant cub!" Aran snapped, and I pressed a hand against his chest to hold him back.
"Stop it! Both of you!" I growled, flashing my eyes at them.
Aran stepped back, eyes still locked on my son, but his stance was a lot more defensive than aggressive now. Rhydian still stood protectively in front of the door, teeth bared in warning, but quiet for now.
"Ceri?" Jana's voice called from the other room, still weak with exhaustion. "What's going on?"
I looked to Aran and nodded back towards her room. "Go." I ordered gently. "Make sure she stays in the bed." If there was one thing sure to distract him, it was the chance to fuss over his alpha. One last glare at Rhydian and he stalked away. Rhydian bristled, lips pulling back over his teeth as he snarled lowly at him as he passed.
I frowned and placed a hand against his chest in an attempt to bring him back to me, to calm him down. "Rhydian... edrych ar mi... Look at me."
He blinked and his eyes faded back to blue before they focused on me, but almost as soon as they did he turned away and shrugged me off, pushing the door even more firmly closed. "Keep him out of here, I don't want him getting in... He's got no right... I let you use this house, but he's got no right snooping around in things that aren't his!.." He ranted, turning his back to the door and sliding down to the floor.
"Rhydian." I said gently, crouching down to meet his eyes, but he was shaking his head which was now pressed against the door.
"They're not his things." He said again but his voice broke and he clenched his jaw tightly, obviously trying to keep his emotions in check.
I touched his cheek to turn him back to face me. "What's wrong?" He seemed lost, not knowing where to turn or who to talk to, I'd sensed it from the moment he came to help Jana, but things had been so hectic that I hadn't had the chance to sit him down and get him to talk to me. "Tell me, Cariad."
He screwed his eyes shut and pulled in a ragged breath... Oh, how I wished he would talk to me, I wish he felt like he could... He told me most things with a little prompting, but this didn't seem to be one of them... I could tell he was hurting, and all I wanted to do was make it better for him, but he was always so closed off, guarded, something I always feared he'd gotten from me...
It was hard, having such a limited involvement in his life... I always felt out of the loop since most of the time I didn't understand what was going on... Him and Jana had explained things to me as best they could but things like school, and Segolia and Canada, they were all foreign to me... I found it difficult to be the mother I should be when I didn't understand the things that were upsetting him.
I sighed and did the only thing I could think to do, which was sit down beside him and take his hand in mine. It took a few moments but eventually he turned and hid his face against my shoulder. It was rare for him to want physical comfort, hugs weren't something he seemed comfortable with... at least not from me. He'd happily give them if he thought I was upset and needed one, he just didn't seem to like being on the receiving end...
I lifted my hand to run over his hair and hold him close, nuzzling the top of his head gently. My poor boy... I breathed in deeply in the hopes that he'd do the same, since he seemed too upset to catch his breath properly, and that was when I was met with the faint scent that made all this behaviour click into place and make sense. "Your friend... The tame c..." I cut myself off. "...Maddy" I corrected. "This was her den?"
Then cub's scent was faint, but it was there, just. "Room..." He scoffed shakily. "I haven't been back since before she left." He murmured. "Tom and Shannon wouldn't let me, in case Whitewood came back looking for DNA." I frowned, wracking my brain for the explanation I'd been given by Shannon about what had gone on with the tame pack... DNA... Hair or blood or saliva that humans can test and and see that we're Wolfblood.
"They've cleaned her room... So it hardly smells like her anymore." He continued, his voice only quiet enough for me to hear now. "They made her bed... Maddy never made her bed, never hung up her washing or put it away, and it used to stress me out so much..." He laughed shakily. "But now it's all tidy... And it doesn't look like her room anymore... If she came back she wouldn't know where anything was, because you want to know what she always told me? 'It's not a tip Rhydian, it's organised chaos.'" He laughed again, a little louder this time, then sniffled and pulled back.
"You have to stop him going in." He stressed, his fingers tapping nervously against his knee. "He'll move things... And... her scent's almost gone as it is..."
I pulled him back to me. "Jana will take care of Aran." I promised, pressing my lips to the top of his head. I was reminded of something he'd told me not long after I'd taken him back to the wild pack. I'd caught him sitting awake one night, looking out at the night sky, unable to sleep. I'd tried to settle him but all he did was shrug me off. 'Maddy used to give me her scent to sleep with... I guess I just got too used to it.'
"You haven't been sleeping, have you?.." I asked gently, and he shook his head against my shoulder. It was no wonder he was so irritable. "Oh, Rhydian."
"Don't." He muttered, pushing himself up and away, heading back toward the stairs. "Don't... 'Oh, Rhydian' me... I'm sick of hearing it."
"Rhydian." I protested, getting up and following after him, but he was half way down by the time I caught up.
"I have to get back, my foster mum will start worrying about me..."
I sighed I'd gotten used to this tactic in the wild, talk over me and change the subject until I gave up, but I wasn't letting him get away with it, not this time. "This mum is worrying about you." I grabbed wrist and pulled him back. "Don't walk away from me."
He huffed but stood still, not meeting my eyes. "You're using the mum voice." He mumbled.
"I am your mum, I'm allowed." I had a very different relationship with Rhydian than I did with Bryn. Bryn was... Or at least he had been, a total mummy's boy. Rhydian had been too, when he was a cub... Perhaps it was the fact he hadn't grown up with me, but I'd leant early on that he didn't respond well to being coddled or mothered, not in the traditional sense anyway, he was far too stubborn.
When I first found him I'd had to accept that my little boy wasn't so little anymore and take a bit more of a back seat. I was always there for him, I loved him, and I always made sure he knew that. "I'm here... If you want to talk about it." I told him gently.
"Talk about it." He scoffed bitterly. "Talk about it? What exactly is there to talk about, Ceri?! She's gone!"
I flinched at the use of my name, it had been a while since he'd pulled that one, but I put it down to him being upset. "I know you won't believe me, but I know how you're feeling."
He shook his head, he was moving around collecting his things, throwing his pencils back into his bag and snapping his sketchbook shut. "How could you possibly know how I feel?" He demanded.
"Because..." I took a deep breath. "Your dad and I were separated every winter..." His hand froze over the door handle, hovering there as his brow furrowed. "It might have been a while... But I still remember... I remember what it was like... I loved your dad, loved him just the way you love her..."
I stepped closer, reaching out to touch his shoulder. "It hurts Rhydian, and I wish I could make it go away but I can't... What I can promised is that it'll end."
He screwed his eyes shut but not in time to stop the tears from spilling over, he looked away and wiped at them hurriedly with his sleeve. "When?" He choked. "She's been gone nearly three months! And now I don't even know where she is! They've shipped her away, changed her name, how am I supposed to find her?!"
I reached out for him again and he came to me, he'd given up on trying to hide the tears so they flowed freely now over his cheeks. "Same way I found you." I told him, pulling him to me. "Instinct. A Wolfblood can always find their pack, you know this."
I had to push myself up on my toes in order to comfortably hug him, a few more months and he'd be taller than I was. "Come on." I said quietly, tugging him gently away from the door "Come sit by me."
He followed and let me pull him down to sit on the... The sofa? I think that's what he called it... "You might be all grown up now, but you're still Fy mab prydferth, my beautiful boy, you'll never be too old for cuddles." I tugged him to lay his head on my shoulder and wrapped my arms around him.
He sniffed and although it took a few moments for him to relax, eventually he settled against me, pressing his nose against my neck. He used to do this when he was a cub, cuddle and nuzzle up to Gerwyn or I while he slept, pressing his cold toes to your stomach and stealing all the furs.
"I miss her so much." The words were muffled by my hair and weren't much more than a whisper to begin with.
"I'm sure she's missing you just as much, but I promise it'll be worth it when you see each other again... I remember the reunions with your dad much better than the goodbyes."
I could feel him frown rather than see it. "What happened?.. With you and dad... Bryn goes on like he just didn't stick around, but I remember him, at least I think I do, a bit... Where did he go?"
I felt the tell tale sting of tears behind my eyes but pushed them back. "I don't think your dad knew about Bryn.." A Wolfblood's scent changed a few days into pregnancy, but I liked to think he would have stuck around if he knew, at least for the cub's sake. "After we lost you, your dad started going into the human world, trying to find a way to get you... I wouldn't go with him, I couldn't, I was so angry with the human world that I could never keep the wolf in check... I don't know what he found here, but he loved it, came back talking about all the things he'd seen and learnt... Things between us were... difficult. I'd get so angry with him, I couldn't understand how he found it in himself to even get up in the morning when we didn't have you..." My voice broke and I cleared my throat, taking a deep breath to steady myself. "...Then one day he never came back..." I shrugged, trying to play it off as nothing but inside the memories were playing in my head as clear as if they were yesterday.
"Did you ever see him again? Like later?" He asked.
"No... I could still find him if I ever wanted too... I was usually the only person who could. He was always good at hiding, your dad." I laughed quietly. "But then he's just as capable of hunting me down... He left me, not the other way around. I don't see why I should have to track him." It was an old argument, one that heartbroken eighteen year old me had formed all those years ago, it seemed petty now, especially in front of Rhydian who seemed a lot more interested in his dad than he ever had been before.
"Good for you."
I frowned in confusion "Hmm?"
"I think it's good that you were strong enough to keep moving forward without him, you had and raised Bryn all on your own."
I stayed quiet, as much as I appreciated that he was trying to reassure me, he didn't know the whole story, there'd never be a way to explain everything that went on after we lost him. "I almost didn't..." I admitted. "I was still living away from the packs while I was pregnant, in our den where we raised you... It was the only place I felt safe... But I went into labor early, there was no one there with me and to this day it's the most terrifying thing that's ever happened to me..."
I'd cried out for him that whole night, for Gerwyn, in the desperate hope that he'd come back to me, hold me like he had when we'd had Rhydian... but he didn't. I lay there for hours after I'd given birth to Bryn before someone came and found me, curled up and too frightened to touch the wailing cub beside me. "For the first month or so I gave Bryn to your grandmother, your dad's mum..." I admitted guiltily. "I didn't think he was safe with me, didn't think I deserved him when I'd lost you." I sniffed and lifted my hand to wipe at the tears on my cheeks.
Rhydian nuzzled closer to me in response and I laughed shakily, running a hand over his hair. Rhydian had become so much more than a son in the short time I'd been reunited with him, he was one of my most trusted friends. I could talk to him about things that I'd never feel comfortable discussing with another member of the pack.
I was respected as an elder, but I'd call very few of them my friends... Most friendships formed not long after the first transformation, and as a cub I'd spent most, if not all of my time with Gerwyn... When he left and I'd had Bryn, I found that very few people wanted to be around a frantic single mother and her bawling cub, especially when he was fathered by a wolf from a rival pack.
"... You need to stop holding that against yourself... Losing me... It was an accident... I know I blamed you when you first found me, but I didn't understand back then, I didn't realise just how much it hurt you... But I do now, and I don't hold it against you anymore, so you definitely shouldn't... I know you love me."
I smiled softly and pressed my lips to the side of his head, I'd never get over just how amazing my little cub had grown up to be. "You're right I do, and so did your dad... He might have made some stupid choices, but he loved you so much, I need you to know that... You meant the world to us... When you have a cub of your own you'll realise just how much."
He laughed awkwardly. "I think it's a bit too early to be thinking about cubs."
I smirked, he acted so grown up all the time it was nice to see him act like a teenager. "Did you ever kiss her?" I'd decided three months ago to let him stay here, because I could see there was something there, could see the way he looked at her... He loved her... But I knew my son, and I also knew he hadn't acted on it.
"Mum! Seriously?" He tried to struggle away but I grinned and held on to him as his cheeks burned red.
"You did!" I laughed. "My baby's first kiss is a big deal!" He grumbled incoherently, hiding his face against my shoulder.
...
It was a little while later when he grew quiet again, breaths evened out and he settled down against me with his nose pressed to my shirt. Asleep.
He was so tired, bless him, I'd noticed it from the moment he'd come to help us with Jana, a deep rooted exhaustion that came from more than just a few restless nights, it came from months of sleep deprivation...
Aran returned downstairs a few minutes later and I placed my finger to my lips, motioning him to be quiet. He nodded, glancing down at where Rhydian lay against me, their earlier tiff apparently forgotten. "He misses his mate, the tame she wolf?"
"Maddy." I corrected but nodded anyway. I realised in the short time I'd stayed with them, that the tame ones weren't as bad as I first believed, they cared for Rhydian a great deal, especially Maddy, and although I wanted to have him with me, I knew that I had to accept that Rhydian was growing up, that he'd found a mate and as much as it hurt me to realise it, I wasn't his who he needed most anymore, If I hadn't loosened my grip on him a little bit, I would have lost him.
Aran nodded again, glancing up the stairs towards where Jana slept, he was silent for a few moments before making his way into the...kitchen? I think that's what Rhydian called it. I watched as he frowned and prodded at the water thing. "How do you get the water out?" He whispered. "Jana's thirsty."
I looked at him wide eyed, I knew about as much as he did about all these human contraptions. Any knowledge I did have came from watching Rhydian, and there were so many different machines in that one section that they confused me. "Ahh... I think you turn those... things, on the sides?"
"Things?.. What things?" He hissed.
"I don't know!" I whisper shouted, resisting the urge to cover Rhydian's ears to block the noise. Aran must of turned something because the water shot rapidly out of the water chute, making him jump back and growl. Rhydian stirred so I rubbed his back gently to settle him back down and tried to contain my laughter at the same time. Aran grumbled and shut off the water before stalking back upstairs with it.
The room grew gradually darker as the sun went down, the only light coming from Rhydian's talking device which lit up every so often before going dark again. My arm had gone numb and I was starting to get hungry but I didn't care, I hadn't held him this long since he was a cub, and even back then he hardly ever sat still, always wanting to play and explore and run around.
He'd been such an energetic, outgoing little cub, just like his dad. Gerwyn and I had only been teenagers ourselves and we'd still had a hard time keeping up with him.
It had been a bit of a shock to the system when I found him again, he was a lot more reserved now, quiet, shy, and I couldn't help but blame myself for that... It wasn't necessarily a bad thing, it just made me wonder what he would have been like if we hadn't lost him...
Rhydian's talking device started buzzing and making noise, I jumped and cowered away from it, baring my teeth. I let it go on, squinting though the glare and attempting to read what it said like Jana had taught me... M-r-s... V-a...
The light when off and I was only just starting to relax when it started up again. I scowled before picking up the offending item and turning it in my hands, it made an unpleasant fuzzy feeling move through my arm, like bees or flies under my skin. I knew Rhydian pressed buttons on this thing and it stopped, so I pressed the green one.
It stopped, finally, so I placed it back down, grinning in triumph, these human things weren't so hard to... "Hello?" I startled again and looked around for the source of the voice, I didn't recognise it... "Hello? Rhydian?!"
I looked down at the talking device... "...Hello?"
"Rhydian? Where are you?! I told you I wanted you back by seven!" I might not have recognised the voice, but the tone was unmistakably that of a mother. Mrs Vaughn... Mrs Vaughn who was somehow speaking though the talking device.
"Hello?" I said again, a little louder this time.
"Rhydian?" It... She... Repeated.
"No... Erm... It's Ceri..." I stuttered, unsure if I was just supposed to talk... Unsure if she'd even remember me. "... J...Jana's mum."
"Ceri!" The voice sounded like it recognised me... I decided I didn't like these talking devices, how was I supposed to understand when I couldn't see the expressions on her face. "I've been trying to get in touch with Rhydian for the past hour, is he okay?!"
"He's fine..." I reassured, though part of my was really pleased that she seemed so concerned about my son, she really did love him... "He ehh... He fell asleep and I didn't want to wake him up."
"Oh, no it's fine, of course... He's not been sleeping very well lately." She sounded upset?... Worried? I couldn't tell without her face to judge it on. Rhydian stirred and opened his eyes, looking around bleary eyed until he turned and focused on me, frowning in confusion. "I'll come over and collect him now, I don't want him walking home half asleep in the dark, you're staying in Maddy's old house, right?"
"Yeah..." I answered carefully, as much as I disliked this way of talking, I wasn't too sure how I felt about meeting her again either... She made me nervous, I felt like I had to prove I could be a good mother, even though she didn't know Rhydian was mine... And that was another thing altogether, I felt like if she looked hard enough she see right through the act...
Rhydian was smirking at me now so I rolled my eyes at him. "Hello?" I frowned back at the phone, hadn't we gone through this bit already? "Ceri? Are you still there?"
Rhydian picked up the talking device and lifted it towards my head. "Yeah?" I said again, leaning away from it as he tried to put it against my ear. I did not want that thing anywhere near my face.
"... Okay..." She said finally. "I'll be there in about fifteen minutes... Bye."
"...Bye." I said awkwardly and pushed Rhydian's hand away. He clicked a few more buttons before laughing. "What an awful contraption!" I couldn't understand why anyone would choose to use that as a way to talk to another person. Rhydian sat up, still grinning and sniggering at me.
"Not bad for a first attempt." He murmured sleepily. "I'm surprised you managed to answer it actually."
"I was trying to make it stop." I huffed. "It was making an awful buzzing racket."
He scoffed. "I don't know, first your using a mobile phone, the next thing we know you'll be tame!" He stretched and yawned through his words.
I growled playfully at him and ruffled his hair as I sat up. "Not likely, ychydig blaidd."
...
Rhydian was just shrugging on his rucksack when someone knocked on the door, I sniffed and frowned after I'd determine it was Rhydian's foster mum. "You have to let her in." Rhydian explained.
"...But I knew she was coming..." Could she not just walk in?
"It's the human thing to do." He pressed, so I stood and went to open the door, humans had such strange customs...
"Hi!" She smiled kindly once she saw me and I smiled back, holding out my hand to shake hers like I'd been taught, but she pulled me into a hug instead... and okay this was weird. I hugged her back quickly before pulling away from her. "It's nice to see you again. Rhydian says you're just passing through, but it's nice for him to get a chance to see Jana again, I know they're close."
I nodded, at a bit of a loss on what to say to her. "She likes you so much because you told her she's doing well with me." Rhydian piped up as he walked over to us, sketchbook in tow. Mrs Vaughn rolled her eyes but I could sense her embarrassment... I thought for the first time, perhaps she was just as worried about what other people thought of her?...I knew first hand that raising a Wolfblood cub wasn't easy.
"She is." I smiled softly. "You're a lovely young man, I'm sure your mum is very proud of you." It was Rhydian turn to be bashfully now, he looked down and stuffed his shoes against the floor.
His foster mum and I laughed and she reached out to touch his arm gently. "You alright?"
"Yeah." He smiled shyly at her. "Just want my bed to be honest."
She nodded and motioned outside with her head. "Come on then, let's get you home." She looked to me and smiled. "And thank you again for looking after him."
"No problem at all." I looked over at Rhydian so he knew my next words were intended for him. "He knows he's welcome anytime."
He smiled at me and nodded subtly before turning to Mrs Vaughn. "You go start the car, I think I left one of my school books upstairs, I'll just be a minute." She waved her goodbyes and headed towards her machine and I followed Rhydian back into the house. Before I knew it he'd wrapped me in a hug and hid his nose against my neck again, breathing in my scent. "I'll come back tomorrow." He promised and I nodded and squeezed him back.
"Here." I pulled back and tugged the scarf from around my neck and pressed it into his hands. "It's not Maddy's scent, but it might help a little." At least, I really hoped it did.
He smiled and tucked it safely into his jacket pocket. "Thanks... Not just for the scent... For everything tonight... I needed that."
I touched his cheek and leaned up to kiss his forehead, he was getting so tall! "I love you, Fy mab prydferth."
He laughed, his forehead pressed to mine. "I love you too, mum."
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-EndlessMoonrise X
