This story is unlike anything I have ever written before. I wrote about Cat's past. It is so biazarre. And it might be a little unrealisitc, but this is my first time doing this, and I might be bad. So, that's it.

Disclaimer: If I did own Victorious, Cat would be less *cough* dumb.


Dear Diary,

I thought it would finally be time to say this. My past. I never told it to you, and now I have to. I can't hold that grudge much longer. Not even to my best friends Beck and Jade, who were like parents to me.

It was a cold August morning. My mother was in the hospital all night, getting ready to give birth to me. Then at around 4:21 in the morning, I was ready to become alive, and live in our world. After I was out of my mother, I was sent into a separate room, and they scanned for anything wrong. And that's where my mother freaked out when she heard the news. I was diagnosed with autism.

I always played with boxes, and stacking blocks up. My autism lasted for a long time. It lasted until I was 7 years old. Then an accident happened. I don't know if it was fate or not, or if it just was lead up from my autism. I lost the autism, but, I was then diagnosed with Major depressive disorder (MDD).

My mother could never believe it. She well into a deeper depression then mine. I knew I had to do something. I always tried to play with the kids, playing on the swings, be in a cherry mood all day. Nothing seemed to work. Then, one day, after I got off the bus, my mom wasn't on the driveway, awaiting me. I walked over to the door, and I opened it. I didn't understand what happened at the time, but I saw my mother, with a large scar on her right arm, and a pool of blood. I ran over to the home phone, and called 911.

In 5 minutes, the police and ambulance came. They began doing things they didn't know what they would do. They toke her away, the last time I saw her, I looked into her blank eyes. Her mouth was a little open. And that was it.

A police officer came to me, and he asked me a couple of questions, he gave me a piece of candy, I think it was a gumball-I don't remember. That's how I got my love for candy.

I was brought to the police station, I was sitting on a chair in the lobby, waiting for my father. He came within 30 minutes, I held onto him for dear life. I was so scared, and confused.

There were 2 upsides to that. The first one was me becoming a little more social, the second one was going to a wedding. My father found a woman who looked close to my mother. But I will never forget the blank eyes, when I last saw her.

I didn't have MDD much anymore. I lost MDD. I still had moments where I was depressed, but I was mostly non-depressed. It mostly happens when I think of my birth mother, so I guess I was never cured.

My life was normal. However, my brother started doing weird things. He started chewing on uneatable items, and doing weird things to common household items. And then, my life changed again when I was 10. It was the day I found out that my brother was diagnosed with a mental disorder.

We were all shocked. Especially me. We always played when we were kids. And after that, we never played as much anymore, he was too crazy, and messed up.

Then, it changed again when I was 12, at this time, it was severe to my life, and it affected my intelligence. My parents began to fight a lot.

Their fighting always distracted me, I could never focus on my homework, eat, or even read. My grades started going down. When I had an average of an A and B's, I started getting C and D's. I was fainting so much from the fighting, our family got our own parking spot.

My parents then became so mad at me always fainting, that one night, my dad beat me up. I got so many bruises, and cuts, I was unconscious for a whole day.

When I woke up, I was at the hospital. My parents were mad. Apparently, they made a story up. They said that I was beating myself up. I was then diagnosed with MDD again.

It was a mistake. That one stupid story, destroyed my life.

However, one night, when I tried to distract myself from the yelling of my parents, and thinking about getting MDD again, I thought of something random. I loved it. It would distract myself from anything negative.

Then I lost MDD again, and for the final time. I always kept my negative, and depressing thoughts to myself. It was also the day I got diagnosed with Bi-polar disorder.

They thought it was right. I was being messed up, and my moods always switched, it was perfect.

I decided needed to find 2 people who would be kinda like my parents, who always looked out for me. I found out about Beck and Jade.

I walked over to them, and asked if I could eat at lunch with them. They-well more of Beck-said yes.

We became friends that day, and whenever I needed help, I look at Jade and Beck, and asked what they would do.

I then learned I had a talent for singing, acting, and dancing. I auditioned for HA, and I passed. Beck and Jade were also going to that school, I was so happy. My best friends would come to high school with me.

I met everyone I love today, Tori, Robbie, and Andre. I was so happy.

But, then, my parents started fighting more, my grades were getting lower, just as they were getting higher. And then, after Beck and Jade broke up. I fell into a secret depression.

Every night, I got nightmares. Nightmares about my past. Visions. My life. Why is my life the way it is?

And, now that I wrote this all. I have to do something no one thought I would ever do.

For the final time, good night and good bye.


Cat closed her diary, and left it on her bed. She got out her pearphone, and wrote down an email to her friends. Beck, Jade, Tori, Robbie, and Andre.

After she sent it, she threw her pearphone down onto her bed, and left her house.

She entered her garage, and toke the sharpest knife, and ran to her back yard.

It was time. What was left of her life?

She did what her mom did when Cat was 7. She cut a big long scar on her left arm. It was painful, but she deserved it.

Her last moments she remembered. Was lying on the grass, seeing her blood form into a pool, remembering her mother's eyes, and her friends.

Then, Catherina Valentine smiled, closed her eyes, and then, her smiled faded. And Catherina Valentine died.