Happiness and Cheer

Note and Disclaimer: Yep, we all still don't own "M*A*S*H" still. We all own the characters we make, though, and play with the ones we love to wish we created.


They all called it their favorite time of the year, but yet…yet, as I sat there in the Mess Tent, hoping that all will go well in this first Christmas away from home, I watched the dismal 4077th campmates and the Korean orphans mingle. It was not the cheeriest time for either of them, but the two groups stayed together like glue. They needed each other in the hopes that they would find comfort in this horrible time, that all of the happiness and cheer that we all wish for in this Christmastide would make them forget the war.

As I sipped my coffee, I looked around me, for once glad that all was going as well as it should be. Majors Houlihan and Burns were in a corner, playing with a group of children, as Major Burns demonstrated how to kill Communists and how to recognize them. Klinger, dressed as Mrs. Claus (waiting for his dance with Santa himself), was entertaining some children at a table, making crafty ornaments for the Christmas tree that Igor, Rizzo and Radar had brought in. Radar was hiding his teddy bear from the children, dodging every arm that reached for it as he raced across the tent. Colonel Blake was hiding in another corner with a nurse, smoking behind his hands and sipping drinks with another. Various nurses and orderlies played with the rest of the children, joyfully ringing out a merry season.

Of course, two people were missing. One was an elf, of all things, and the other was Santa Claus. And after the departure of their friends, the ghastly, albeit hilarious, missing duo – Hawkeye and Trapper – have been cooking up more schemes, and surprising even the most stoic of people. Again and again, their deeds have come up vocally by many people and will never go unnoticed, especially this good endeavor, for today of all days.

I looked to my right, seeing the slight hole on the roof of the tent, resembling a chimney of sorts. That would have been where Hawkeye would climb down with Trapper, both to be handing out the presents that all of us at the camp have been making and gathering for these children for two months now or packages that have been shipped from home. What they would have up their sleeves, I cannot tell. I do not know if they will behave like children and laugh or be serious and make dull eyes twinkle.

I finally put down my coffee cup and looked at my watch, impatiently awaiting the arrival of some fun. It was about noon already. Hawkeye and Trapper were due any minute now…

"Ho, ho, ho, Merry Christmas!"

Finally, about a minute after my worrisome thoughts, Hawkeye slid down into the tent with Trapper close behind him. A bigger bag of presents, larger than I remembered it to be, was glimmering in the dimly lighted tent, causing many of the children, who were previously playing and/or listening to some tedious lecture from Major Burns, to come running for their mysterious gifts. Behind them were the nurses, orderlies and doctors, all clamoring for what was theirs as well.

I watched for a few minutes as Hawkeye and Trapper handed out box after box, envelope after envelope. Most of the boxes came from home while others were made by us. A few were in fat envelopes and were gleefully cheered over. A few surprised squeals ever filled my mournful ears, always remembering that even a day of rejoicing will soon turn into many more of war and terror soon enough.

After Hawkeye and Trapper were empty of unwrapped presents and wonderful cheer, the crowds dispersed, to play, share or gloat. I picked up my coffee cup, emptying it of its swill down my throat, and was about to get another cup when Hawkeye and Trapper stopped me, still in their costumes. Sighing, I remained seated, wondering what they wanted from me.

"Having a good time, Father?" Trapper asked, handing me a thin envelope. "Merry Christmas!"

"Oh, boys, you didn't need to get me anything," I protested, taking the small gift. "I don't need any worldly things to make me happy."

"But this one is sure to make you smile, even if it's not exactly what you've been craving this season," Hawkeye replied kindly as he tugged at his fake white beard, surely making him itch sorely. "Merry Christmas, Father, and may there be peace on Earth for the new year."

"Amen," I answered automatically as I opened the envelope. Inside, there was a note from the whole camp, signed even, promising that they would come to the next Sundays masses in the Mess Tent when they could and not when they didn't want to.

I hugged to note to my heart. "Bless you!" I exclaimed, filled with hope at last. "Bless you!"

"No, Father, bless you," Trapper, replied, taking my hand. "You've helped to make this place a little brighter. Just make it a little more peaceful please."

"How so?" I was perplexed, to say the least. "What do you mean?"

"Watch this," Hawkeye only said, standing up and taking out two presents from under the table, two boxes I had not seen before. Then, he strode over to where Majors Burns and Houlihan were and handed the presents to both.

"What's this, Pierce?" Major Burns exclaimed snidely. "Another one of your stupid, childish pranks?"

"When are you going to leave us alone?" Major Houlihan added, also annoyed.

"No, this is no joke, but just a little Christmas spirit to pass around," Hawkeye said with a smile. "Only wanting to wish the merry couple a wonderful Christmas."

Majors Burns and Houlihan were cautious in inspecting the gifts in front of Hawkeye (and I wouldn't blame them, quite honestly), but once satisfied that nothing was going to explode in their faces, they both opened them. To their surprise, they were normal things. Major Houlihan received some curlers for her hair and some make-up for her face and Major Burns was given another copy of the Bible, as his other copy was humorously desecrated by the two Swampmen the month before.

"Nothing rewritten in this edition, Pierce?" Major Burns asked as he flipped through the pages and eyed the front cover shockingly.

"No, but I'm sure the inscription on the front will suffice." Hawkeye smiled once more and walked back to us, a beaming Major Houlihan also smiling behind him and a red-faced Major Burns appearing as if he was about to fly into a rage.

"Say, what did you write in that Bible, Hawkeye?" I asked him nervously as he came back to the table where Trapper and I still sat quietly. "It wasn't disrespectful, was it?"

"Oh, do you really want to know?" Trapper asked me, laughing.

"Well…" I began.

"I think 'Next time, we won't be this nice' is enough for your holy ears, Father," Hawkeye only said, hiding his laughter behind his hands.

"Indeed." I smiled as well, not even beginning to imagine what silly deeds these two men could have done to the Holy Bible, but only focusing on the happiness that comes with a truce lasting a few hours. "Indeed, I would not want to know."