OUR FUTURE IS ONE BIG BLANK
Regina and Emma stopped the fail safe in time to save Storybrooke. Henry was safe and it was all Regina could ever hope for. Finally accepting the fact that Snow White deserves a happy ending and that her son deserves more than what she could have ever give him, the former mayor for the first time in her life did what she never thought she would be able to do- walk away.
It was seven years later when she first saw Henry again, all grown up with a smug looking hair. To say she was surprised to see him was an understatement, it took her more than a few seconds to collect her self from the enthralled being coming into her office.
His smile hadn't changed, it complimented his hair more now and his clothes... she remembered how he tried to dressed him to the nines when he was younger, how he whined and argued with her before he would eventually wear something appropriate, now though he could as well meet the president with his choice of wardrobe.
This made her smile and also hurt inside but that will be a story for another time.
"Mom?"
"Henry." She have so much she wanted to tell the man standing across her desk but words were grasped inside her fist.
"I can not believe this, I... You look good, you're still mayor... Jackson was my roommate at the university, I saw your picture and he told me everything you did for this town and at first I couldn't believe him because wow... I've never thought I'll see you again and now here I am, this is surreal... This is... Can I hug you?"
She tried, like really tried to listen to him spill the words. The memories flashed through won over her, Henry was a boy who have more thoughts reeling in his head than he could put to words. This always fascinated her and often times she would tell him to breathe but he wouldn't and she let him because a mother listens.
"Mom?"
She was not listening.
"It's good to see you again Henry. You've grown to be such fine young man, your family must be very proud."
It's been seven years and seeing Henry's expression fall from his childlike face vividly brought back those memories she tried so hard to live out.
She watched him stepped a little closer, smiling.
Her right hand automatically raised by default making him stop mid step.
"Shouldn't you be heading back to campus by now? I'm sure your mom wouldn't be glad to know you're already skipping classes in the first semester."
"I... I just want you to know I miss you, mom." he emphasized his last word to get through her, she knew she should be embracing him by now, kissing him like the boy he was, her baby boy instead she sighed and looked away.
"Henry... I'll appreciate it if you don't relay this meeting to anyone else?"
"I, uh... Yeah."
"Thank you."
"Can I see you again? I mean, it's only an hour drive and I promise not to skip classes."
His tone reminded him of when he bargained her to spend time with the sheriff. It pricks.
"It is better that you don't."
She didn't know what to expect of him anymore than she didn't know what he expects of her.
The whole reunion only lasted 20 minutes but felt like her whole day was taken out of it.
She used to cry herself to sleep, that night she cried more than ever and sleep never came.
Exactly two days later, Emma Swan came, hounding her office with words like 'fuck' and "for gods' sakes".
The sight baffled her in a way that she expected when she imagined the same scenario to happen years ago but of course it didn't and she was forced to outlive every emotional scar she endured during her evil queen days.
For a royal, especially with the Charming's bloodline running in her veins, Emma Swan lacked sophistication in every sense of the word, a painful reminder of her curse.
She didn't dwell on it long because as soon as she stepped out of her office, the blonde stiffened in the guards hand and inhaled sharply before looking directly at her with a disgusting smile plastered on her face.
"Hi, Madam Mayor, long time no see."
Emma Swan. The last time she let her come to her town, things fell apart pretty quick, crashed her down to pieces, took away the only one she ever cared for.
Now this. She didn't need this, not when she'd already made something of herself, not when she finally learned to care again and definitely not now, especially not now that's she's finally found herself as only Regina could.
But alas! Fate again had other plans for her it seem.
The guards reluctantly loosened their grip when she smiled back and acknowledged the woman.
"Sheriff."
When they were left alone, the blonde started her ranting spree.
There were more curses than real words involved.
Unlike Henry's visit, she never really tried to listen, for somehow she knew why Emma was here.
The whole tirade was amusing if not for the tears that were flowing freely on the woman's face, didn't even attempt to wipe it off.
Not until exhaustion won her over and she weakly sat on the chair across her.
"Give the boy a break Regina." the blonde surrendered
She semi grunted at this.
"I thought I did when I left, clearly there's a misunderstanding here on your part Miss Swan."
"He never wanted you to leave him!" this time a shout but she countered with a more practiced tone
"And I never wanted to... You of all people should know that."
"But you did... Why?" Emma's voice was suddenly small.
"Why is irrelevant now, let me just applaud you for taking good care of him, he's a fine young man, a Charming indeed, not that I can say the same for you so I don't see why the need to pay me a visit."
"Seven fucking years and you're still so full of it."
She ignored her point, she ignored how hard the woman was clenching her jaw.
"It doesn't matter now is it? I'm glad he's okay, don't misinterpret what I will say next... It's good to see him again but I'd rather not make it a habit for everyone and his sake, maybe it's better that that was the last and I'm sure you agree, yes?"
"You hurt your son's feelings for what, huh, Regina? If you still haven't freAking noticed, Henry's not ten anymore, he can do what he want when he wants it, I'm only here because whatever you did, it affected him! And now you say these things like he's nothing to you! That's fucking bullshit and you know it!"
"You wanted your son, I gave him back, a thank you would've been enough Miss Swan."
Emma's laughter filled the room as empty as it was.
"I would never thank you for leaving him, in fact I disgust you so much for it, you fairytale people have a habit of abandoning a child just coz it suits you, so much for happy endings when all you really were are a selfish bunch of cartoon characters."
It pricked her like a thousand needles.
What Emma called selfish they understood as sacrifice in the Enchanted Forest, what do they call it in other realms?
Truly, a lost in translations.
"You're barking the wrong tree Sherif, I'm not your parents."
Emma nodded.
"He never talked to anyone for a couple of days after you left, things started to get to normal when school started and he was pretty much occupied, life and all but it's the little ways Regina, his choice of food, his choice of clothes, the way he cleans up after himself, he reads so much you know and he kept to his manners... He's a good kid, better even until he started acting out and coming home with bruises, he never talked about it, he just get on with having straight As and really good manners... He...He was never the same."
This was not the Henry she met a a couple of days ago, that Henry was something else entirely not this one that Emma seem so sad about.
Her reaction was cut short when the door opened revealing a little girl with sparkling doe eyes who ran all the way to sit on her lap.
"Mommy! Mommy! Eating time! Yay!"
"Is it?"
"Yup!"
She caught Emma's reaction in hindsight before the blonde stood up.
"I... I gotta go, I shouldn't have come here in the first place, thanks for your time Mayor."
She put the little girl down and focused her attention back to Emma.
"Let me walk you out."
Before they could reach the door they were greeted by the second person she didn't want Emma to meet.
"Hey hon, I'm so so sorry, Sarah ran before I could stop her. Great! You're in a meeting, hi Miss really attractive lady? I'm Robin."
He offered his hand for Emma to shake which the sherif took with a tentative smile of her own and mumbled her name.
"I'm sorry Emma." Robin apologized, of course he did
"It's okay, she's already heading out, dear.
"Oh." He said
"Yeah." She said
She watched as Emma and Robin interacted.
Suddenly words like 'fuck' and 'for godsakes' hounded her again.
"Daddy, I'm gonna be late for soccer practice." A boy came sauntering in the the door way with his game console.
There couldn't have been a more perfect timing for a family reunion than now, with Emma Swan looking more shocked than finding her to be the evilqueen back in Storybrooke.
Emma gave her a look daring her to explain everything but it seem like the explanation she was looking for stood visibly enough for her to relent her previous intentions.
"Roland, you're in the Mayor's office, show some formality will ya?" Robin's gruff voice startled her
The boy straightened up,walked towards them, flashed Emma a smile and said his greetings.
She couldn't help it if her lips turned ever so slightly, knowing how uncomfortable this situation must be for the sheriff. She tapped Roland's head out of habit.
"That's enough, Miss Swan, I believe we have discussed enough for today, now if you don't mind, I have a lunch to attend to. Have a safe trip back home."
"Yeah, I... Yeah.."
She watched as Emma walked away, a sudden tugging clenched her heart, fighting over Henry was their common ground, a fight she thought she'd surrendered seven years ago.
It only occurred to her now that Emma still desperately clings to that fight even long after it was over because unlike the falling queen and the emotionally unstable mother that she was, Emma never gave up.
And so she decided there and then , a trip to the campus was long overdue.
"You have a lot of explaining to do Mayor." Robin bumped her shoulder
"Don't I know it?" She offered her arm "shall we?"
"We shall."
Robin took Sarah while Roland held her right hand.
It was a happy sight, a normal one if you live in town long enough to know how awesome the Mayor's family have become through the years.
Emma drove 16 hours straight with one goal in mind: to shove Regina back in Henry's life no matter what. It was what bounty hunters do, chase the runners back to where they belong.
Ok, not really. She gave up that gig long time ago in exchange for 'Savior' and 'mom' duties. It wasn't the life she learned to live but clearly it was hers to know and fight for. What with being the daughter of two all time favorite fairytale characters( not hers).
There's that and also there's her son so the choice of flight never became an option anymore, even with freakish twisted fairytale characters hovering around.
Growing up, she never had enough want to fight for something, abandonment issues and all that. Her battles were her choice, hunting criminals and cheating assholes or some shady business partners would occupy her mind.
At some point, she lied awake at night rethinking her life choices and that uncertain hollowed part in her system but she drowned them as soon as they surface.
One good deed for every other bad move was somehow a good ratio for her.
Opening the door to his son's smiling face changed all that.
Storybrooke taught her one thing and only one thing alone: to fight, this time not for others but for herself. Boy, fight she did.
She did it with the mayor. She did it with everyone who came between Henry and her yet somehow, something's always not enough.
The fight came on and on and on, a constant battle between old bad bloods.
All she wanted was Henry, wasn't that too much to ask?
Yes, probably because unlike her, the son she gave up was lucky enough to find a mother who will do everything for him, including but not limited to magic and curses alone.
She respected Regina for it. She did. Until that one night she was sure Henry was safe enough to live with her adoptive mother again. It was a truce of some sort, like a shared custody or some cheap visitation rights, she would've settled for it.
She knocked on the door of 108 Mifflin street with a prepared speech and an apology, finally, she thought to herself, a start of something new, better than most happy endings- mother and son reunited again.
Except Regina was and always will be a selfish bitch. And fate.
She tried. Her parents helped, even Neal when he came back from the Enchanted Forest played his role all tried,but how do you make an 11 year old understand that it wasn't his fault why her mom left him?
Emma had no idea, even though she was abandoned her self, it was different. She had no guilt of hating her parents nor believing they were evil enough to run away. It wasn't her choice, she was just a baby not even a day old.
In Henry's case however, guilt was a big factor. His perception, like most children his age, of good and evil was black and white. He was supposed to learn the greys in high school when he'd watched enough shows and read enough about superheroes and histories of the world.
Not when he blamed his mom for cursing a town only to find out she saved everyone and left.
Regina left town.
Regina left her son.
The son she was ready to kill for. The only person she cared enough to do right.
The evil queen fled and so happy endings abound.
Not really.
Emma's former life was like a lifetime ago. She's learning that with family comes responsibility and a lot of bickerings. A lot.
Sometimes it's okay, sometimes it gets to her like molten lava on cold skin.
Enchanted forest, Henry's well being, Neil, true love, town's people. Topics that triggered her fight or flight response.
No wonder fairytales had a never ending list of evil queens.
Being a bounty hunter taught her to not surrender easily even when the evidence stares you in the face or especially when it is shove right back at you, you look past it, you take a break and prepare to strike again. Keep in mind the bounty.
Keep in mind Henry.
She treated herself a nice cup of coffee for deciding to stay a couple of days more and force Regina to talk to their son again. It would be just like the old times only this time life is an irony.
"May I?" Robin pointed to the empty chair opposite her
Her thoughts was cut short by a man with broad shoulders known to be Robin.
"Yeah."
"I'm Robin. Emma, right?"
She nods
"How are you liking the town so far?"
"Haven't got the time to look around yet."
"Yet? Well, would you mind if I show you around? I'm sure Regina wouldn't."
Her brow raised in suspicion, Robin caught it as his cue to leave.
"Aiiight, that's cool. Stick around for a while, this town makes you fall in love easy... Who knows? Aiiight, nice meeting you,Emma."
"Wait!"
"Yeah?"
"I think I'm gonna have to bite into that offer."
"Cool, I parked outback."
Her plan was to lure him into talking about Regina, to find out if the former mayor had slipped something over her former life.
The plan was tossed out in the open when Robin brought her to the outskirts where an abandoned racetrack and a hidden shooting range lay in the open.
The guy was a smooth talker, a combination of Hook and Neil with better wits and charm. For being the mayor's husband, he sure knows how to handle people and sway them to like him even more.
He told her about Regina's projects and plans for the town, how they first met and Regina's disgust when she found out about the ex mayor's corruption.
It was what bonded them over apparently, their love for the town. He said she never met someone quite like her, well of course. She was a former queen, duh? But she never voiced that out.
He guided her to an underground garage and showed her his collections of bikes.
She gaped for a minute or so which made him chuckle and offered her a friendly race.
Eventually, he got her into talking about her life.
"Hot damn Emma, you've got an 18 year old and you still rock that bod, I applaud you."
His last words reminded her of Regina.
"Yeah, just coz I didn't do all the work I guess, but thanks."
"Still, from what Regina told me he's a fine young man."
"He is. Wait? She told you about Henry?"
"He's all we talked about for the first few weeks we met, it wasn't her proudest moment I tell you."
"Oh."
"And I assume that's why you're here?" he raised his brow and somehow, Emma had to remind herself that he is not a storybook character and that this town is real.
"I wouldn't have to be if she didn't shove the kid away."
It came out more bitter than what she thought.
"To tell you she was hurt would be the understatement of her whole career also, I'm in no position to judge her or you for that matter. One thing I know though, you both love Henry. That's pretty clear. It's why you're still here and she's halfway across town by now."
"Wait, what?"
"Guess I should've told you earlier but I got distracted with racing you and all. She went to the campus for a visit."
"She did what?!"
"Yeah, it seem you talked some sense out of her. She's usually not that impulsive."
"I have to go, make sure she don't mess it up."
"Woah, hold up there for a sec."
"You don't know what she's capable of."
She almost tripped on her own feet, Robin caught her arm just in time.
"I know her more than you do, I think."
"It's not your son she left behind!"
It's too late to catch her words, the poor guy tried to say something but chose to stare the ground instead.
"I'm sorry, I... It's just that... Shit."
"Let's drive back, it's getting late anyways."
Fidgeting on the passenger's seat made the driver stopped the car.
"Look, if there's one thing I trust Regina with my life, it's taking care of the kids. It's what she's good at, ask around and everyone will be happy to prove you wrong. She turned this town around, she did that by helping the kids first more than anything else. Whatever bad history you two have, the Regina I know wouldn't let anything nor anyone hurt a child, especially not hers."
It seemed to her that Regina got the better end of the rope. She nodded.
~It started with a whisper and then I start to kiss her I found out that everybody talks everybody talks~
Robin answers his cellphone.
"Hi Hun, are you there yet? Yeah, I know, I'm... What? No, I'm on my way, I didn't forget, yeah, it's 5, I get it... He did? Good, that's good right? I'm with Ted, it's a guys thing... no, I said I didn't forget... Yes, I'll call him when I get home... Okay... No sugar, got it. Yeah, you have some fun there. I mean it. Yes, you too. I love you."
He turned to the passenger's seat "It's Regina."
It was the cutest thing Emma had seen in a while, a manly man who folds over a phone call. She couldn't help the laughter that followed suit, even Prince Charming was never that whipped and that was some true love shit right there. Regina did got the finest rope's end.
"What's so funny?"
She laugh some more and mumbled nothing. Thankfully, Robin let it go.
"There's a motel with really comfy bed not far out, that's if you want to stick around for a while, ya'know just to make sure Regina doesn't fuck up with your son?"
"She's very lucky to have you, Robin."
"Eh? You'd think so but no."
This guy really know how to humor, Neil should learn from him.
"Why not?"
He let out a manly laugh
"Stick around and find out."
It sounded like a dare.
"Thanks for the tour."
"No problem, I rarely get to race with a woman anyways, a fine woman at that. Lucky guy here." he winked
"You sure know how to charm a woman but dude, we already share a son, i'm not sure what the Mayor will feel about sharing a husband."
That manly laugh again, this time she joined him.
"Speaking of, I have husband duties to attend to."
An hour long drive to campus should give her all the time and courage she needed to be able to face Henry properly, she almost swayed over a roadside from all the thinking her mind was going through and still her trembling hands seem to fall in rhythm with her wildly beating heart.
She got Henry's schedule in advance just so she wouldn't interrupt his classes, she waited. And waited. And waited until Henry's form started to show on her side mirror and reminded her of that day when all she could do was shed a tear from the realization that her son dislike her as much as she love him.
Henry must have anticipated her visit, he watched her without having to move from his spot, his eyes shined and a faint smile ghosted his thin lips.
How she stumbled upon the door and engulfed the boy in a tight embrace was beyond her, whispering to him her apologies over and over again.
When Henry reciprocated with his own strong arms, she'd forgotten the evil queen, the wicked mayor and the revengeful stepmom personas that she used to live, in that moment, it was just him and her son. Like the first time she ever held him in her arms in that redundant little town she cursed, no one mattered then, no one matters now except this moment right here.
Henry countered her apologies with his own, mumbling his iloveyoumoms like a mantra when she used to practice her spells.
They found a spot overlooking the gigantic football field of the campus. Gone was the young man who came to her a couple of days ago replaced with a very enthusiastic boy she used to walk storybrooke with, the good times.
She listened carefully, watched with awe while her son(her son, she repeated for herself) elaborated how fascinating his classes were. He's made up his mind on Engeeniring, when she asked him why he wrinkled his nose as if to say why not.
"I just thought you're more off the lit major type?"
"I love reading, writing is my passion but mom, you'd be amaze too if you see what we get to do with with numbers and things, I think I can make a real moving castle now if I want to or a car?"
The way he dragged the mom a little bit longer made her heart swell, his tone so childlike as if she never left.
"I'm proud of you no matter what you choose to do Henry, although, one of these days we have to plan that car you're telling me, only because a moving castle requires a bigger place so let's delay that for now."
"God, you have no idea how much I miss you mom."
"Trust me dear, I do."
There was a certain calmness that only a mother and son could understand.
"Can you tell me about your new family?"
His tone was hopeful
"You are my family Henry." He still gives her the most promising 'duh' look. "Fine, I have friends, best friends if you must. Upon my stay here, they were kind enough to make me part of their little family. They have a son, Roland, he's six and Wendy, she's 16, I think."
"That's it?"
"What were you expecting, dear?"
"Uh? A stepdad and step siblings?"
It was her time to let out a hearty chuckle.
"Oh?"
"I thought it's why you didn't want to see me."
"I will always want to see you Henry. I guess, I was just afraid to fail you again."
"It was me who failed you."
"No! Never. Okay? You were just a child then, everything that happened was all on me, I did that. It's time you understand Henry, it's time you accept that. I'm not going anywhere now, I'm here... I'm still your mom if you'll let me. There's nothing we can do about the past, it's one thing to know that, living it is another and I get it now. It's unfair of me to ask you this. "
"I get it. I do, I think?"
This was a conversation long overdue, there are still things left unsaid and unexplained, most she have no idea how to do but being here in this moment with her son all grown up and looking at her with nothing but affection and warmth, for the first time in seven years, she felt home again. Explanations of the past, her wrong doings will have to wait because right now all she wants to do is bask in the moment.
"You never told me you wanted a sibling?"
"I know right? It would've been cool."
"You should've asked your parents."
"Neal? Emma? Or you?"
"You have a lot of options, I see?"
"Well, i'm asking you now?"
"Sarah. She's turning three next month." Henry's eyes grew like saucers, like that one time she gave him his first BMX on his seventh birthday, he didn't know if he wants to run to the bike or hug her first.
"Mom?! Woah! That's... awesome. Wow! Tell me about her, what she's like? Does she look like you? Does she know me? I mean, can I see her?"
"Are you sure you're okay with it?"
"Mom..." for college a freshman, he sure knows how to whine. She couldn't help but roll her eyes.
"Well in that case, you'll have to meet her to find out."
He answered almost abruptly. "When?"
"It depends on your class schedules of course."
"In that case, I'm in luck coz I don't have classes tomorrow."
"Of course you don't."
"Perks of being a college student."
"I'm sure there are other perks of yours you might want to share with me young man?" She gave him her best mom look and he ducked his head in return.
"Mom, am I going to meet my sister or what?" he earned another eyeroll from her.
"Fine."
Seven years ago if someone told her she'll be visiting her son on campus and share an easy, laughter filled converstation with him, she would've shot a fireball at them for keeping her hopes up.
They shared some more stories, he showed her around campus but he drew the line when they've reached his dorm.
Regina waited for Henry in the car.
During the drive back they continued exchanging stories, Regina on how she became mayor, her not so conventional family and how she adopted Sarah. Henry's tales were the highlights of their drive, he filled her in on his life albeit not grand and what she planned for him, he looked like he enjoyed it and learned a lot,he surprised her by his revelations on first times, a conversation she never thought they could share.
They were laughing, Henry couldn't contain himself with excitement, she watched him intently on the drive back, glancing to her right from time to time just to take in the reality of finally having his son back in her life. She too couldn't help her self it seem and she's okay with that as long as she have her son to keep.
Henry couldn't help if the new town gave him the odd sense of his past, couldn't help but recall the vivid view of 108 Mifflin street, the odd shop signs with backstories and the creaking stairs on the loft of his grandparents. His childhood was stolen from him none other by his curious stubborn self, that he know by now. He gulped down what sour taste that started to melt in his mouth and focused on his mom and the sister he was promised earlier.
He tried comparing this new town with Storybrooke the first time he set foot on City Hall, he couldn't, not because he'd forgotten but because his roommate already instilled him certain ideas of the town and his brain already accepted it as facts.
His mom is humming along with the radio and tapping her fingers on the wheel.
Some things gets better in time he supposed.
He's excited. Whatever it is that will be greeting him mere moments from now, he promised himself to just be thankful, he's got his mom now. Everything will be alright, right?
tbc
