Dream a Little Dream
Harry slept soundly most nights. Breathing softly, evenly, his eyes moving beneath his lids. Dreaming, Lily Potter always thought as she watched him sleep, what could he dream about?
Harry looked like James. His hair, his nose, his chin, everything, except his eyes, he inherited from James. Of course, in sleep, no one could see the one thing his mother passed on to him. The day he was born, a pink, squirming bundle, with a shock of black hair and little features which would grow to look just like his father's, Lily Potter never felt so filled, so warmed by love. She memorized him; drank in his every detail. She knew her son from the tips of his chubby toes to the ends of his messy hair. Then the milky blue of all newborns' eyes faded, revealing a striking emerald green. James discovered the change first. "All I wanted was for him to have your eyes," he told her. Staring down when James handed him to her, looking into Harry's eyes, her eyes, startled Lily. Some intimate secret seemed to pass between them; a part of her soul given to him. She wanted to stay in that moment, James' arm around her shoulders, her son clutched to her, looking with wide, green eyes at his parents, forever. But time passed and then he was six months old, crawling, laughing, growing. He played restlessly during the day-only James had the energy to keep up with him. A happy baby, Lily's mother would have said, like you. So much of her time was spent keeping small objects out of his mouth, that night seemed the only time Lily could watch him as she did those first couple months after his birth. He always looked so peaceful. If only he knew, she thought. He would love the outside, he would love the world, but Lily couldn't even take him for a walk. He didn't know how much danger he was in; he didn't know how vulnerable he was; he had no clue. As he slept, Harry's head turned to the side, his fingers clenched into fists.
"Those are quidditch hands." James snaked his arms around Lily's waist pulling her against his chest. Lily let out a small croak meant to be a laugh.
"Hey," he turned her around, seeing the tears silently streaming down her face, "what's wrong." He ran a thumb over her cheek; she nestled into his hand, closing her eyes.
"Did we make a mistake?" Her voice was so quiet she didn't know if she actually spoke.
"What do you mean?" His brows furrowed, his eyes searching her face.
"Bringing-bringing Harry into...all of this." She kept her eyes closed, the tears harder, but still silent. It took a moment for James to understand what she asked, then his eyes softened, his eyebrows relaxed.
"Lily," he continued to run his thumb over her cheek, "look at Harry." She opened her eyes and stared up at James, then turned to look at her son. Harry's lips turned up slightly, almost a smile; his hair stuck out everywhere; his eyes closed, but moving. "Tell me he doesn't belong here?" James' arms hugged her waist, his mouth near her ear. "You just try." She let out a small sob, turning around and smashing her face into James' shirt, her hands clutching his shoulders.
"I'm so scared, James." Lily said into his shirt. He lifted her chin up.
"I am, too." They stood there for a long moment, Lily crying, but locking her eyes with James', anyway.
"I want him to have a happy childhood. A normal childhood." James had a small smile.
"With you as a mother? You shouldn't worry about that, and normal's overrated."
"James-" but he cut her off.
"I am never going to let anything happen to him," he said, he ran his thumb across her cheek again, "or you." They both knew he couldn't promise that. They both knew if he found them, they could do nothing to stop him. They both knew their fate lied completely out of their control, but neither said it.
"I don't care what happens to me." Lily said.
"Well, I do." She would have kept fighting him, was about to, in fact, when James kissed her.
She clung onto him when they broke apart. She could feel his heartbeat.
"Tell me everything will be alright." She felt childish, but she needed to hear him say it. She needed reassurance, no matter how empty.
"Everything will be alright." Tears kept falling, but Lily smiled a little.
"Because I am never going to let anything happen to Harry," she said, looking up at him, "or you." James let out a small chuckle and kissed the top of her head.
"Let's go to sleep," James said. Lily nodded, but turned back to Harry.
"In here, then?" James had already grabbed the large, stuffed dog-a present from Sirius-from the corner to transfigure into a mattress, like he had for the last six months.
"This is the last night," Lily promised, walking over to the mattress on the floor, floating a blanket behind her.
"Alright." James held her to him, Lily threw the blanket over them.
"I swear," she said.
"Alright."
