"I drive, therefore I am."
Julian Wilkes, Viper
KIRA WAS DEAD. Athrun didn't have to see the charred corpse grafted to the frame of Strike's burnt out cockpit to know it, but it was there lying on the beach in plain view if anyone had doubts.
Kira was dead, and Athrun was starting to think part of his own soul died with him. Everything that happened after setting the self-destruct timer, ejecting from Aegis's cockpit, and triggering the explosion that brought Kira to his mortal conclusion was a single nauseating blur in Athrun's memory. Later on he understood he was found by a ZAFT drop team who followed the immense trail of burning wreckage across the island. He was half blacked-out the entire time from a combination of battle fatigue and possible PTSD. After being passed through an emergency mobile hospital, a permanent Earth outpost hospital, and a colony infirmary, he was finally taken to ZAFT Central Command and brought back to a sound physical and mental state, then released to his personal quarters for close observation. From his perspective, he destroyed the Aegis, spent an eternity in a limbo of incomprehensible deafening sounds and blinding lights, and woke up to the sight of Lacus leaning over him with a look of worry on her face, sitting at the side of his bed.
The weeks away from the battlefield and sharing small conversations with Lacus were gradually making him question everything that had happened up until now. He didn't know if Kira's death was driving him toward a new resolve, or simply making him lose the will to live.
Then he finally reported back to his father. The acknowledgements and the good graces he received were drowned out by a dull, uncertain rumble in his ear. He heard everything Patrick said, but nothing completely registered with his mind.
PLANT was about to win the war thanks to his team's accomplishments. The next objective would be somewhere in South America. Here was the brand new Justice mobile suit, personally intended for Athrun's use as he would spearhead a series of final assaults against the Earth. It was equipped with something called an N-Jammer Canceller so it could run on infinite energy and never be plagued by the battery issues of the older suits. As he blankly stared up from the catwalk at his father's side and took in this supposedly invincible military masterpiece, Athrun said only one thing: What was all of this for?
"What are you talking about? We have to wipe that entire race of miserable Natural scum off the face of the Earth and end this conflict once and for all!"
His father's words haunted his mind for each passing second. He was dismissed from the meeting with slight reservations, being advised to continue resting while the machine was still being prepared. His mind would clear up and he'd see the truth in ZAFT's cause once he calmed down from everything he had experienced in his previous mission, or so he was promised. Think of nothing except the Alliance's genocidal attack that had claimed his mother's life. Revenge was the only motivation a good soldier needed. He'd be expected to accept his new position in a few days' time.
Kira's death had been an act of revenge for Nicol's, and yet it only left Athrun with a sickening feeling that ate away at his gut and made him never want to climb into a cockpit again. Stepping away from everything, he could see revenge for the Bloody Valentine bombing was what was transforming his father from a respected leader to a bloodthirsty despot. But up until now, his father's calling was the only direction he had ever known.
Athrun and Lacus were gazing out from the apartment balcony. The only time the world seemed to flow at a normal pace now was when he was quietly spending time with her.
"You look lost, Athrun," Lacus innocently whispered over his shoulder. "Is there anything I can do to help?"
"None of this feels right anymore," Athrun replied, his head hanging low and his eyes gazing several stories straight down. "I don't think I can go on fighting if this is all that's left."
"Do you have any ideas what you should do?" Lacus tried to say in an inspiring tone. She had a way of making anyone feel better just by asking them simple questions.
Athrun said the first thing that floated to the top of his mind. He knew it was more of a wild fantasy than a practical solution.
"Kira had a ship he was always trying to get me to join. The Archangel. Maybe if I track them down on my own, we can work out some kind of truce."
A tiny gasp from Lacus's mouth made Athrun to turn his head. Her hands were near her mouth and her eyes were wide in a split second of terror. It was a look that silently said "Oh God. He doesn't know."
"The Archangel was sunk in Alaska during a failed raid last week," Lacus revealed. "The Alliance is claiming it was some sort of defensive system malfunction, but it looks like their plan was to lure ZAFT in and then blow up the base while everyone was caught in the confusion. They killed almost as many of their own as they did us."
"This is too much," Athrun said, clenching his fists around the balcony railing. "I've got to talk with someone else. Yzak's too much of a hothead, but maybe Dearka could come up with some advice."
Another startled reaction came out of Lacus. She quickly dropped her head to hide the tears welling in her eyes.
"Dearka…" she whimpered in a dry voice. "Dearka defected to the Archangel the day you and Kira fought for the last time."
Athrun gasped.
"You mean…?"
Lacus nodded solemnly. Athrun's knuckles clenched the steel balustrade as if they were about to bend it in half.
"This is insane. What are we supposed to do?" he lamented.
"What is it that you want to do, Athrun?" said Lacus, returning to her usual form as the tender oracle.
"I don't know," Athrun said. "I want to get as far away from all of this as I can and try to figure something out."
Lacus turned her head again, looking out into the artificial colony sky.
"I know of one place you might go."
"Where?" Athrun said, almost disbelieving her.
"Orb. The only place where Naturals and Coordinators have found a way to live together in peace."
"How is a single island going to help us?" Athrun asked.
"That single island happens to be the engineering powerhouse that designed the five original G Project suits. It was an act that violated the country's laws of neutrality, but nobody knows exactly who was involved, and they're more than paying their price."
"I can't answer for all of their mistakes," Lacus continued. "But I do know I would feel safe lending them my faith. Orb's leader is a stranger to me, but I may be able to reach out to his daughter in the short time she has left."
"What do you mean?" Athrun asked.
"The Earth Alliance is preparing to invade them. They're being branded as traitors for refusing to provide more weapons and push this bloody conflict any further."
Athrun gazed toward the ground far below again, chuckling bitterly under his breath.
"I can relate."
"But it's hopeless for them," Lacus said sadly. "They'll be slaughtered by the Alliance if no one comes to their aid."
"What am I supposed to do?" Athrun raised his voice, almost shouting at Lacus in anger. "I'm only one soldier who's already lost his shield." The destruction of Aegis flashed in his mind again.
"My supporters might be able to help you," Lacus replied gently.
"Your 'supporters'?"
Lacus was shaking her head.
"Not the people who go to my concerts and ask for my autograph. I mean the people who wanted to see my father become Chairman while he was still… with us. Now they're trying to raise me in his image. I want to do the right thing, but I can't do it alone, Athrun."
Athrun stopped to gaze deeply into her blue eyes. And for the first time, he saw it: Behind the joyful demeanor of a pop singer and the burgeoning resolve of a political successor, she was just as lost and scared as him. His anger melted in a second.
"I can't do it with Justice," Athrun said pointedly. "The route between here and the Americas is a major convoy line. They'll know something is wrong the moment I change course."
"There might be another way," Lacus whispered. She reached into her dress and pulled a set of small Polaroids from her pocket.
Instantly, Athrun could see the resemblance to Justice. The rifle. The shield. The beam sabres. It was even the same armor structure, only with the jagged corners filed down and painted in lighter colors. Reconnaissance photos of a mobile suit stored in a remote hangar.
"ZGMF-X10A Freedom. It was developed as a twin sister unit to Justice. Built from the same data analyzed from the G Project series, it's designed for ranged combat," Lacus said.
"Kira's specialty…" Athrun's eyes slowly lingered away as he spoke. Then he shook his head in confusion.
"Lacus, how do you know about all of this?"
"Most of the personnel assigned to the Freedom silo happen to be my father's sympathizers. Destiny works in funny ways." She smiled.
Athrun hung his head and sighed like it was the last time he might ever breathe. Slowly, he looked toward Lacus's face.
"Lacus, if we do this, there's no turning back. I won't be able to protect you. My father will treat me like any common enemy. Creuset will send his wolves after both of us."
Lacus stepped closer, taking his hands into hers so they could at least tremble together. The gesture caught Athrun off guard.
"Then that's a risk I'm willing to take with you. I don't want to stand by and watch the world race to its end any more than you do."
They moved closer together, leaned into each other's arms, and kissed. Lacus slowly opened her eyes as she and Athrun separated.
"What are you going to do, Athrun?" she asked quietly. There was something almost bubbly and cheerful emerging out of her fear. "Will you continue to fight for your father's Justice, or should we gamble for our Freedom?"
Athrun knew what had to be done.
"Lieutenant Joule. I appreciate you reporting on such short notice."
"I'm at your liege, Chairman."
"I've decided to permanently postpone the repairs to Duel. That outdated unit has been a great value to us with your exceptional piloting talents, but its era is behind us. As of oh six hundred this morning, the decision was made to reassign you to the Justice."
"Sir… what's happened?"
"Freedom has flown out of her cage. My own son is responsible. His fiancée is an accomplice."
"Athrun? I knew he was getting soft around the edges, but I never would have thought he'd turn against his race like that Strike idiot. That bastard's killed one traitor just so he could turn into another one!"
"Justice is almost prepared for launch. You'll be given your formal briefing momentarily, but the meat of the matter is you'll be pursuing Freedom directly."
"A retrieval operation, sir?"
"No. Something more personal. A summary execution. The repossession of the Freedom is an optional objective. We've already set the trajectory for your flight."
"To Orb, right?"
"Wrong. Orb was reduced to a cinder in an Alliance invasion yesterday. The only ones to escape were the Princess and a handful of the pathetic ladies-in-waiting she calls a council chamber. Unfortunately, it's just enough to delude Athrun and the Clyne girl into thinking they have a strong enough militia to end this war themselves. They've commandeered a warship named Eternal to prolong their foolish activities. These are dark days, Lieutenant Joule. The world needs Justice to lead them."
"You can trust me, sir. I'll make Athrun answer for his disgrace."
Author's note: [poking his head out of a storm drain dressed up like a clown] Hey. We've got SRW plotlines down here.
Author's note 2: I just realized I basically wrote "Bullet Points" again, only all the eggs are replaced with Gundams.
