This is my first fanfiction so I would be eternally grateful for any reviews and criticisms that you have to help me improve it! Sorry if this first chapter is slightly dull, once I get into the swing of it I'm hoping to make it a lot more exciting. Thank you for reading!
Disclamer: I do not own Harry Potter or anything to do with it, it's all J.K Rowlings.
Standing on the familiar platform 9 ¾, I felt a wave of emotions run through me. Excitement. Happiness. Nervousness. Sadness. Excitement – I was returning to my home, my true home, the one place I had friends, the one place that made me feel welcome. Happiness – I would be seeing my friends again, after six weeks apart, we can soon start gossiping again, I'm sure they have plenty to tell me, being the only Muggle born out of them. Nervousness – in my letter from Hogwarts this year, I had found a surprise. I had been made Head Girl. Although I was looking forward to being Head Girl, I was also nervous, I have no idea who Head Boy is, and in about thirty minutes, I will be facing a carriage full of Prefects, having to give them instructions on what to do this year. I hadn't planned anything to say to them, I figured that when I got up there, and everyone was looking at me, I would completely forget what I had planned to say, so I decided on improvisation. Sadness – I wouldn't see my family until December, I hated saying goodbye to them. Also, this was my last ever year at Hogwarts, after this year was over, I would never set foot on the Hogwarts Express, or Hogwarts, for that matter, ever again. It was also very doubtful that I would see the majority of my friends again. We would all be going our separate ways in the wizarding world, and what with Voldemort getting more powerful by the day, there was a strong possibility that they, or even myself, could get... No, I couldn't let myself think that way. This was one of the most memorable moments of my life, and I won't ruin it, or let Voldemort ruin it.
"LILY!" A huge grin sweeps across my face as I spin around to the sound of one of my favourite voices.
"ALICE!" My feet momentarily leave the floor as she hugs me a little too enthusiastically.
"How have you been? Oh my god, I have so much to tell you Lily!"
"You do?" I didn't think that much could have occurred over the holidays to make that look creep its way on to Alice's face. But obviously it could.
"Yes. But I think we should get on the train first. I've just said bye to mum and dad, they had to leave a bit early." Alice looked around, then she looked back at me. "Where are you parents, Lily?"
I tried to keep the sadness out of my voice. "Oh, they erm.. they couldn't come. They couldn't get the time off work. And Petunia wouldn't come, she's too busy organising her wedding with the walrus, not to mention the fact that she hates me." I told mum and dad not to worry about not being able to see me off, they felt so guilty they couldn't be here. But not wanting to keep the attention on me for too long, I changed the subject. "Lets get on the train, then we can find Marlene and Mary, and you can tell us all about your news." Alice's face instantly perked up at that.
.
"You're WHAT?"
"Engaged. I'M ENGAGED!" Alice began to jump up and down in excitement, and, even though I was completely shocked, I couldn't help but join in.
"Alice! This is so great! Eeeeeeeeee!" After a few minutes, our breathing had started to come in little gasps, so we took that as a sign to stop jumping. Mary and I had both congratulated Alice, during which there had been many squeals, but Marlene had not even uttered a word. Mary sat beside her and looked into her eyes, clicking her fingers as if to bring her out of a trance.
"Marlene, are you okay?" Marlene blinked, and then looked at Alice, her face turning into a look of pure pleasure.
"ALICE! Oh my god, this is huge! Huge, but amazing." She leapt up to suffocate Alice in a hug.
"You are so lucky, you and Frank are perfect for each other."
"They are, aren't they?" Clearly a rhetorical question. Then I sighed. "I wish I had someone."
Everyone looked at me. Marlene and Alice glanced at each other, mischievous grins sweeping across their faces.
"But you do, Lily." Alice sat down beside me and slung her arm over my shoulders.
"I do?"
"Oh yes, Lily. You do." Marlene sat on my other side, and she also slung her arm over my shoulders.
"Who?"
Mary placed both her hands on my knees, considering there was no room beside me.
"Does a certain Mr Potter ring any bells?" She whispered. This threw me.
"James?" I asked blankly.
"The very one."
"But... why would you think him? I hated him up until a few months ago! And he only has a crush on me, and that's only because I'm the one girl who won't give into his 'charm'." I finished my sentence by folding my arms rather harshly, accidentally elbowing Alice and Marlene in the ribs.
"I think you are forgetting the fact that the two of you spent an awful lot of time together towards the end of last term. And he doesn't just have a crush on you, how delusional you are Lily, the poor boy is in love with you." Mary looked rather pleased with herself after that.
Sure, me and James did spent quite a bit of time together towards the end of last term, but that was only because I realized that he had changed a bit, and I figured if I spent a bit more time around him, I would be able to decide whether he had or not. Plus, the four of us had actually become quite good friends with the Marauders, Merlin knows how that happened, but we spent the majority of our time together in those last few weeks of the sixth year. But for James to be in love with me, that's just ridiculous! I mean, I know he asked me out literally every day from fifth year, but I just figured that was some joke of his he was doing just to annoy me. They must have got the wrong information, there is no way James Potter could be in love with me!
"Would you look at that, Lily is lost for words!"
"No I'm not! You've just got your information wrong, that's all. James is not in love with me!"
"Oh believe me, Lily, we have an extremely reliable source." Huh, so someone had told them this information, had they? "Oh yeah? Who's that then?"
"Mr Potter himself."
"What?"
"That's right, Lily, he told us himself."
"But... what.. how... this... ugh!" I continued to splutter as I looked down at my watch, and realised that I had only seven minutes to make it down to the prefect carriage. "I have to go to the Head's meeting now, but this is not over!" And with that, I dramatically swept out of the compartment.
James could not be in love with me, could he? But now I think of it, everything adds up. How he acts around me, how protective he is of me, how he hates it if another boy so much as looks at me. Oh Merlin, James Potter is in love with me! Hold on. Why does this make me happy? Why do I get a certain feeling, or why do butterflies fly around in my stomach, when I think of James? Do I like him? No, of course I don't. I'm just being ridiculous. Why would I like James? Sure, he has a nice personality now, and I can't deny that I like how protective he is over me, and don't get me started on his body... What! What am I talking about? I need to stop this, I forbid myself to think about James Potter! Think of the prefect meeting, Lily! In which you only have three minutes to get there.
I hurtled my way through the carriages, my annoyance that the prefects compartment was right at the front of the train steadily increasing. I was just about to enter the last carriage when I heard someone shout my name. Swearing that I would hex whoever this was, I whirled around, only to see a greasy haired boy standing in front of me.
"What do you want, Snape?" My voice was cold. I vowed to myself that I would never be friends with him again, I couldn't stand him.
"I want you, Lily. I want to go back to how we were. I want to be friends again." His face was so sincere that I actually laughed at him, did he honestly believe that we would ever be friends again?
"Well that's too bad then. I can never forgive you for what you did, and we can never be friends again. I can't even stand the sight of you. And if you'll excuse me, I actually have somewhere to be." I turned around and stalked into the last carriage, maybe it was a bit too dramatically, as I suddenly knocked into someone and fell on the floor. From somewhere nearby I heard a low chuckle, and then strong arms lifted me off the floor. I looked up to see who it was, and I felt myself blushing as I looked into the hazel eyes of James Potter. Why was I blushing? I had no reason to. If anyone should be blushing, it should be him, he's the one who is apparently 'in love' with me. Unless... no. Stop right there Lily Evans, don't even think of unless.
"Ah, it seems that Miss Evans managed to make it." James set me down on my feet and addressed the prefects, a little too sarcastically for my liking.
"Well, yes. Sorry about that. I unfortunately ran into an ex friend." Everyone was looking at me with confused expressions, James included. "Snape." I whispered to him.
He seemed to understand. I saw his face change and expression was becoming stonier by the minute. Not wanting anyone to see this, I changed the subject. "So, should we get started then?"
There were various grunts and nods of heads as the prefects began to make their way into the compartment. I had to practically drag James in.
.
All in all, the meeting wasn't actually that bad. I only stumbled over a few words, and the improvisation couldn't have gone better if I planned it, which obviously I didn't, as it is called 'improvisation'. James had to explain to me three times that he was Head Boy, until I finally had to believe him. I was shocked, however, to hear what he had to say in the meeting. He told everyone that they were not allowed to abuse their powers, if they did, fifty points would be taken from them and a meeting would be set up with their heads of house to discuss their future as a prefect. He also told them that if anyone caused them any trouble, or if anyone used magic against them, they had his permission to fight back and defend themselves, and that if any teachers or pupils had a problem with that, they should go and see him. Did this mean that he had changed, after all? I could certainly see a difference in him, that was for sure. But maybe I would just have to stay around him for a bit longer, to be certain that he had changed. The thought of being around him caused butterflies to erupt in my stomach.
"You coming, Lily?" I looked up to see that the compartment was empty apart from myself and James. He was at the door and waiting for me to join him.
"Mhm." Hold on a minute, he didn't call me Evans. "You called me Lily."
"Yeaaah, that is kind of your name..." He was looking at me as if I was mentally handicapped.
"You always call me Evans."
"Lily, I haven't called you Evans for over two months. When we became friends, you asked me to call you Lily, remember?" Oh Merlin, I did remember it now. What is wrong with me? Why does my brain turn to mulsh whenever I'm around him? And I know it definitely isn't because I fancy him, because I don't. I hate him! No, I don't, that's just a reflex reaction. I must stop telling everyone I hate him.
"What is wrong with you today? You're acting really weird."
"I am?" Of course you are, you idiot! "Huh. I think it's just because this is it, it's our last year here, and I'm kind of a bit freaked out by it. Do you know what I mean?" Great cover story there, Miss Evans.
"Yeah, I know what you mean, it's like, this time next year, we'll have jobs! Or be in training. It's kind of cool really, although I am going to miss Hogwarts. But lets get going, yeah?"
Going? "Where are we going?" Okay, he must think I'm a right lunatic. But he doesn't need to prolong the pronunciation of the words to make me feel about five years old.
"To. Our. Compartment."
"Right, yeah, that would make sense." We left the prefect compartment and began to make our way back through the train. Only to be stopped minutes later by Snape.
"What is it now!" I was finally losing my patience with him, didn't he get it? I never wanted to see him again!
"Why are you with Potter?" I think I actually got a bit of spit on me when he spat 'Potter'. So was it up to him who I was or wasn't friends with, then?
"What does it matter to you? And for the record, me and James," I made sure he noticed that I called him by his first name, "are friends. Not that it has anything to do with you, you filthy hypocrite. You think it is unacceptable for me to be friends with him, but the company you keep is disgusting, everyone knows you're going to be Death Eaters the moment you get out of here, so don't you dare judge me on who's company I keep!" Snape's face turned into a horrible mask of anger, and he walked towards me, causing me to retreat a few steps.
"How dare you talk to me like that, you filthy Mudblood!" I winced internally at the word, but tried not to let it show.
"Now you've done it, Snivellus." James's voice was so threatening that I whirled around in alarm. He had stepped in front of me, and he had his want out, pointing it directly at Snape. "Don't you ever talk to Lily like that again. In fact, don't you ever talk to Lily ever again. I'll know if you do. And believe me, you'll be sorry." With a swish of his wand, Snape fell to the floor, as rigid as if he were dead, but it was obvious that he had just been stunned.
James looked at me, and then grabbed my hand, pulling me along the train. Once I realised what he was doing, I pulled my hand out of his, and looked away, blushing. Why had it felt right when he held my hand? Maybe it was just because he had saved me from Snape, and I felt only gratitude towards him.
"Are you okay?"
"Yeah, I'm fine. I just never want to see Snape again. Thanks, for, you know, what you did back there." I looked up into his eyes, wanting to make my thank you more sincere than it sounded. He smiled in return.
"Don't mention it, anything to see the back of old Snivellus." He winked at me, and at that, I had to laugh. He joined in, briefly, and then we made our way back to our compartment, with, thankfully, no more interruptions.
.
Halfway through a rather entertaining game of exploding snap, the lunch trolley arrived. Peter bought as much as he could with the money that he had bought with him, Sirius toned it down a bit, compared to his usual fourth helpings at dinner, by getting a few pumpkin pasties and cauldron cakes, James had around the same amount as Sirius, and Remus bought an alarming amount of chocolate. I, however, was not really hungry, which caught me by surprise, as I had been famished on the way to the prefect meeting, but now my appetite had gone, so I bought a licorice wand just for the sake of it.
"Alice, where's Frank? I thought he would be in here with you." I'm surprised Marlene was able to talk, after just having forced her third cauldron cake in her mouth.
"Yeah, he told me that he'd come find me on the train. Where is he? I hope he's okay." Alice was starting to worry now, she was shooting furtive glances out of the window, and on several occasions, getting up and standing outside the compartment for a few minutes.
"Alice." I finally said, causing her to look at me and huff as she sat down. "I'm sure that Frank is fine, he's probably just been held up. You have nothing to worry about, so please, try and sit still, and relax."
After about half an hour, Frank walked in. Alice rushed to his side and embraced him in a hug, before stepping away from him and giving him a look of pure evil.
"And where have you been?"
"I'm sorry, Alice, I got held up! There was a first year girl who was crying because a bunch of third year Slytherins were picking on her, so I went and sorted them out. Then I had to go with her to find her some friends, and I just couldn't get away. I'm sorry." He walked towards Alice and hugged her again, then he let go of her, but he kept her hand, and they sat down, Alice finally looking relaxed.
"You guys are so cute together." Mary was looking at them with various emotions in her face. I could make out happiness, she was happy because her friend was happy. Then there was jealousy, she wanted someone who treated her like Frank treats Alice.
"You'll find someone, Mary. We can't all meet the perfect guy first time, not everyone is that lucky." I stroked her knee consolingly. And then I realised my mistake. I saw Mary's and Marlene's faces turn into an identical grin, and I knew they were remembering our conversation from earlier. I groaned.
"Ah, yes. I seem to recall that we were discussing this earlier. Isn't that right, Miss Evans?" Out of the corner of my eye, I saw James's head whip up.
"You were?" Oh crap. Marlene was going to get it later.
"Yes, we were. What was it we were saying, Lily?"
I felt my face heat up and turn red. "I... erm, I can't re.. remember." Why did they have to bring this up? I was already confused about my feelings for James! Wait, no I wasn't, what am I talking about?
"Hold on, I think it's coming back to me. Weren't you saying how you wished you had someone to love you and care for you, and what not?" Why is she doing this to me!
"Erm, I might have been." I glanced towards James, but he wasn't wearing the smug expression I was expecting him to wear, he was wearing one of sadness.
"Has it ever occurred to you, Lily, that you already have that?"
"I.. I do?" His expression was causing my heart to split in two, why did he look so miserable?
"Of course you do! That's what I'm here for." I was suddenly aware that everyone had fallen silent, and they were watching us, well me actually, for my reaction. Sirius glanced between the two of us, I was surprised to see that he looked slightly nervous, and cleared his throat.
"Would you look at that! This cloud looks exactly like a chocolate frog!" Everyone got the hint then, looking out of the window and talking loudly. But James and I continued to stare at each other, for how long I have no idea, but I felt myself becoming mesmerized by his big, warm hazel eyes. What was happening to me? I didn't have feelings for him, that was obvious, but there was something different about him, and there was something different about me. Every time I looked at him, I got this feeling in my stomach, something I had never felt before, and I liked it. That was odd. Maybe they'd spiked the pumpkin juice.
"Lily?" I jumped and looked up. Everyone was staring at me.
"Yeah?"
"Are you all right?" Alice was looking at me, and it was obvious that she was starting to worry. But I wasn't sure why.
"Yeah... I'm fine. Why?" Why was everyone looking at me like there was something wrong with me?
"You just don't look very well, you're all pale and everything, and you look like you're about to faint."
Huh. "Really? I feel fine." James removed his eyes from the floor and examined my face. He looked worried.
"How much have you eaten today, Lily?" Seriously, what was with all the questions?
"Erm.." Now that I thought about it, I hadn't actually eaten anything. I hadn't been hungry when I woke up, it was too early to eat, and earlier, my hunger vanished for some strange reason. "A liquorice wand." It sounded more like a question.
"As if we believe that, it's right next to you, Lily." Damn it.
"Maybe that's why you feel ill. It's.." James looked at his watch, "it's nearly six in the evening and you haven't eaten anything."
"I don't feel ill! I'm just.. I'm saving myself for the feast." They all eyed me with sceptical expressions, but no one said anything else about it. I wasn't going to tell them that I wasn't hungry because every time I looked at a certain someone, I completely forgot everything else. I really needed to sort myself out. I do not like James Potter! Okay, I do like him, but not in that way. But then what is this strange feeling I get whenever I look at him, or whenever I hear his voice?
"I suppose we best change into our robes. We're nearly there." Sighing to myself, I grabbed my robes from my trunk and helped the girls force the marauders to leave the compartment so we could change.
.
"Another year of Hogwarts. To our new students, welcome, to our old students, welcome back! I would like to introduce our new Head Boy and Girl for this year, Lily Evans and James Potter!" The hall erupted in cheers as James pulled me to my feet. Blushing furiously, I shot him a death glare, which he only laughed at, and sat back down in my seat. Trying to ignore the chuckles from my friends, I turned my head towards the headmaster, who was calling for silence. "Yes, well, it looks as if you two are going to be splendid at being Head Boy and Head Girl. But enough of my rambling, lets eat!"
Before I could even take any of the food that had appeared on the table, James was piling a huge amount of it on my plate.
"What are you doing?"
"Making sure you eat something." I wish everyone would leave this whole food business alone, I mean, honestly, why are they making such a big deal out of it?
"Come on, Lily, I won't let you leave this hall until you eat something." I rolled my eyes and started to tuck in to my food. He smiled at me and then turned to his own plate.
Once everyone had finished eating, and I was feeling so full that I could burst, Dumbledore got to his feet again. "The very best of evenings to you!" he said, smiling broadly, his arms opened wide as though to embrace the whole room. "Another year full of magical education awaits you! Our caretaker, Mr Filch, has asked me to remind you that the forbidden forest is out of bounds to all students, and that anyone out of bed after curfew will face the consequences. Those wishing to play for their house Quidditch teams should give their names to their Heads of House as usual. We are also looking for new Quidditch commentators, who should do so likewise." The cheery smile on his face disappeared, and was replaced by a deadly serious expression. "Now, as everybody in this Hall knows, Lord Voldemort and his followers are at large and gaining strength." At these words, my stomach tied itself in a knot, and I looked at Snape. Everyone knew him and his Slytherin friends were aiming to become Death Eaters the moment they left Hogwarts. "I cannot empahsise strongly enough how dangerous the present situation is, and how much care each of us at Hogwarts must take to ensure that we remain safe. The castle's magical fortifications have been strengthened over the summer, we are protected in new and more powerful ways, but we must still guard scrupulously against carelessness on the part of any student or member of staff. I urge you, therefore, to abide by any security restrictions that your teachers might impose on you, however irksome you might find them – in particular, the rule that you are not to be out of bed after hours. I implore you, should you notice anything strange or suspicious within or outside the castle, to report it to a member of staff immediately. I trust you to conduct yourselves, always, with the utmost regard for your own and each other's safety." The Hall was absolutely silent. Everyone seemed to be taking in what Dumbledore had just said. James looked at me, and I looked right back at him, but for some reason, I could feel fear welling in my stomach. Soon, we would leave Hogwarts, we would be out in the wizarding world, fending for ourselves, soon, we wouldn't be under the protection of Albus Dumbledore, the only one that Voldemort ever feared. Soon, we would be alone, and vulnerable. Tearing my gaze away from James's face, I looked back at Dumbledore, who's blue eyes swept over us all before he smiled once more. "But now, your beds await, as warm and comfortable as you could possibly wish, and I know your top priority is to be well-rested for your lessons tomorrow. Let us therefore say goodnight. Pip pip!"
As I began to get to my feet, along with the rest of the school, McGonagall walked over to me and James.
"As you two are Head Boy and Girl, you will need to show the new Gryffindors to the common room, as well as showing them which dormitory they will be sleeping in. Then you are welcome to go to your new common room and dormitories, which you two will be sharing throughout this year. It is located on the sixth floor behind the portrait of Sir Cadagon. The password is 'responsibility'. And," her voice had now dropped to a whisper, "congratulations, you two. Both of the Heads are from Gryffindor house, I feel very proud of you both, and I dare say that you two will do a wonderful job." With one last look at the two of us, she strode off out of the hall. James sniggered.
"I think old Minnie's going soft!" I rolled my eyes and dragged him off to where the first years were waiting by the door.
.
"What floor did she say?"
"Six, James. You really should listen more." I turned my face towards him and gave him a mock look of disapproval.
"Hey! I do listen, I just don't always.. remember things."
"That much is obvious.." I mumbled, turning my head away from him.
He stopped walking. "What did you just say?"
"Nothing." Maybe my voice might have been a little too innocent, so maybe I did deserve what was coming next.
"Are you being sarcastic with me, Lily Evans?" He asked, taking out his wand. I eyed it sceptically.
"Me? Never, James Potter."
"Because if you are," he said, advancing on me, "I will have to take some action, to make sure it never happens again."
"Action?" I asked blankly, automatically taking a step back.
"That's right."
"And, erm.." I gulped, quite nervous now, "What exactly is this.. 'action'?"
"Well, I think I may have to just -"
"James!" My head whipped around as I heard that disgustingly sweet, innocent voice calling his name.
"Melissa?" She didn't reply, she just squealed and flung herself at him. Apparently, James wasn't expecting this, as not only did he not catch her, but the force at which she flew at him made him fall on the floor, Lydia landing right on top of him with an 'oomph'.
Melissa wasn't exactly the nicest kind of person. She was known for being overly flirtatious with anything in trousers. She had bleached blonde hair, ridiculously large eyelashes, which seemed to have a tendency to bat whenever she thought someone was looking at her, and seemed to wear the skimpiest clothes she could get away with. And these are just a few of the reasons why I absolutely hated her.
"Oooh, James," she purred, "You really do know how to please a woman. I thought maybe we could sneak off to a broom cupboard, but if you're that impatient that you want to stay here..." She trailed off, wiggling her eyebrows suggestively.
"I..." James stammered, going bright red in the face.
"I thought so." Was all she said, then she leaned in towards him, ignoring his attempts to get away from her.
"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING?" I couldn't contain my anger, it just seemed to explode out of me. She pulled her mouth away from James, who was trying, unsuccessfully, to get away.
"What does it look like?" And with that, she hoisted her skirt up, revealing much more than I wanted to see, and launched herself back onto James. I was so angry that my vision seemed to be tinted with red. I stormed over to her, pulled her up by her hair, and pinned her against the wall.
"I suggest you leave him alone. It is not a wise idea to anger a red-head." And with that, I let go of her, causing her to fall to the floor, turned away from James, and practically ran down the corridor.
"Lily! LILY!" I could hear James calling me, but I just continued to run, I didn't want to face him now. I knew he wasn't far behind me, so when I reached the portrait of Sir Cadogan, I screamed the password at him and jumped inside.
I didn't stop to admire the obvious beauty of the room I was running through, I just ran until I reached the room that said 'Head Girl'. I threw myself inside and locked the door.
I don't know how long I sat there, ignoring James's words, muffled by my door. I only remember waking up, and deciding there and then that I had to avoid him. There was no way James and I could ever be together. He was popular, good looking, captain of the quidditch team. I was nothing like him. I had friends, but I wasn't exactly popular. I wasn't pretty, nor did I have anything that made people look up to me. Sure, I was Head Girl, but I was probably only made Head Girl because I spent the previous six years devoting myself to my studies, and Dumbledore probably just wanted someone who was sensible, so that they could drown out the prankster who had become Head Boy.
I got up and walked over to my mirror. What James Potter ever saw in me, I will never know. I pulled at a lock of my red hair, wishing that I could just be a blonde, or brunette, like any other girl. My pale skin repulsed me, it made me feel like I looked constantly ill. I had the bright, emerald eyes that went with every red head, despite the words of my friends, telling me that my eyes have that extra sparkle that others don't have, I still despise them. I used to be relatively skinny, until recently. I wasn't fat, I had just filled out, and quickly. I shot up through the bra sizes within months, (although not all of them, considering I am only a DD), my bum filled out so quickly that it is now covered in stretch marks, something that when I found out I had, I cried for hours, my thighs continue to grow, so that my size 6 jeans don't fit me like they used to. Sure, I can still get in them, but now I look forced, like I had to have help to get in them. All of these things just make me wonder what it is that makes James so attracted to me. If I was one of the pretty, popular girls, then I might be able to understand it, but I just can't. I'm not like him. He is strong, his muscles are visible, even through his clothing. He is no doubt the most good looking boy in the school. Sirius may be pretty close behind him, but James seems to always have a certain charm about him, a certain glow. He is the leader of the most popular group in the school; The Marauders. Everyone knows who they are, everyone loves them, everyone wants to be in with them. I must admit, they annoyed the hell out of me during my first five years at Hogwarts. But once I got to know them, I really enjoyed their company, and couldn't believe how different they were to what everyone thinks them to be. They're not cocky, they're not arrogant, and they are not bullies. And James Potter is the kindest, most sweetest, loyal person I have met in my life. Which is why he deserves better than me. And that is why I am going to avoid him.
A knock at my door startled me.
"Lily? Please can I come in? We need to talk." So I ran over to my bathroom, turned the shower on, and yelled back through my door: "No. I'm in the shower."
Okay, so I may have stayed in my room as late as I possibly could without being ridiculously late to my first lesson. I cracked open the door as little as possible, and when I saw that the common room was empty, I grabbed my bag and sprinted out of the room and out of the portrait hole.
On my way to Potions, which I was already dreading enough as it is, I had many false alarms. I squealed and hid behind suits of armour as armies of tall boys with jet black hair strolled past. After putting my wand away for the fourth time, I finally got to potions, albeit three minutes late.
Whilst saying sorry for being late to Professor Slughorn, I glanced around the room for a spare seat. There was just one at the front, next to... James Potter? Merlin, can I not get away from this boy? And why was he sitting on his own? I glanced behind me to double check that the rest of the Marauders were there, which they were.
"Ah, Miss Evans. Yes, you may have noticed that you will be sitting next to Mr Potter. Had to split him and Mr Snape up outside, and give them both the punishment of sitting nowhere near their friends. Although, Mr Potter may not actually find this a punishment, well, neither would Mr Snape, actually, shows just how lovely you are, Miss Lily! Now, come on," he clapped his large hands together, the sound echoing around the room, "chop chop!"
Sighing to myself, I sat down in the only empty seat and got my things out as Slughorn began to talk. I knew James was looking at me, but I wouldn't look at him, that would just start the conversation. A conversation that I really do not want to have, I might add.
"So, at the end of this hour, we should be seeing, from each of you, the perfect hiccoughing solution. You may start."
I flicked through my copy of Advanced Potion Making, searching for the right page. Scanning the list of ingredients, I realised I was missing beetle eyes, having left them in my dorm, after leaving in such a hurry. Slughorn wouldn't mind if I borrowed some out of the store cupboard.
As I was rummaging through the many boxes of potion supplies, I heard someone come up behind me. Grabbing the eyes as soon as I saw them, I turned around to get out of this snug little corner that I seemed to be trapped in, but froze when I turned.
"What do you want, Snape?" I could not deal with him right now. I had enough on my plate without having to deal with him wanting to be friends again.
"You know what I want. Don't be stupid, Lily. If you don't ignore what happened in the past, well, that would be a very stupid mistake."
I recoiled. "Are you threatening me?" How dare he! I don't want anything to do with him, he needs to grasp that, and leave me the hell alone, before I hex that ugly, hooked nose right off his face.
"If that will make you see sense, then, yes. Just don't turn into Potters little trophy, because he knows that you'll always belong to me, and he is just trying to steal you away-"
"Always belong to you? Who the hell do you think you are?" My voice was rising rapidly. "I'm not an object! I don't belong to anyone! And definitely not you! I hate you, I hate you so much you wouldn't believe. I don't want anything to do with you, ever. You need to get it into that stupid little head of yours that I hate you, and I do not belong to you, I never did, even when I could stand to be near that greasy mop that you call hair! You are a-"
"Now, now, what's happening here?" Slughorn bustled over, clearly trying to make sure everything was okay between his two favourite pupils.
"Nothing, Professor. Lily was just asking me where she could find the ingredients she needed."
"Ah, I see. Did you find them, Miss Evans?" He turned his gaze down to me, and his face was beaming. He was clearly hoping for a reunion between me and Snape. Fat chance.
"I already had them, sir. I was just about to leave when Snape came over and caused a disturbance. Now, if you'll excuse me.." I turned away from them both, back to my table, only to find James staring at me.
With a sigh, I sat back down, turned my back on him, and began to crush the beetle eyes with the side of my blade, maybe a bit more vehemently than I needed to.
"Are you all right, Lily?" I froze in my seat. He was talking to me. What do I do? If I start talking to him again, I'll just end up going back to how I used to feel around him,and then my plan won't work at all. I really needed some help with this. I made a mental note to myself to talk to Alice when I next saw her.
"I'm fine." I said, as bluntly as I could manage.
"Are you sure? What did Snape want? Was he being an idiot to you again? Did he threaten you? Because if he did,-"
"I said I'm fine, James." He fell silent. I tried my hardest to ignore the consuming guilt I felt at ignoring him, telling myself that I was doing it for his own good. But nothing worked. I had to stop myself many times from talking to him, I was going to fall back into the old routine soon if I didn't get a hold on myself.
When the lesson ended, I all but ran from the room. In my haste to get away from him, I ran into Bellatrix Black, not a good thing to do.
"Get away from me, you filthy little mudblood. My robes were clean on this morning, until your grubby little hands came into contact with them. You make me sick. But you'll get what's coming to you, believe me, you will."
I had endured those comments from her and her little gang of Death Eaters for seven years, and nothing had happened to me yet. As soon as she leaves Hogwarts, she'll end up in Azkaban, I can see it now. So I clearly have nothing to worry about.
History of Magic passed as quickly as it ever could. I sat at the back of the class today, making sure that I was away from James, Sirius and Remus. (Peter didn't receive the necessary OWLs to continue with this subject).
As the bell rang, I slowly gathered up my things and walked out of the room with Alice, filling her in on the things that had recently occurred.
"So basically, when you finally start admitting to yourself that you fancy James Potter, you want to avoid him?"
"I do not fancy James Potter!" People in the close vicinity turned to look at me. I dropped my voice to a whisper. "I don't like him, not in that way, anyway. I just.. I feel that I need to avoid him, if you know what I mean?"
She looked at me, clearly confused. "What in the name of Merlin are you talking about, Lily?"
"Well, you know what I am, Alice. I can't be around people who I care for when I could be putting them in danger, you already know how many people have threatened me because I am a-"
She cut across me. "Please, please tell me that you are not referring to the fact that you are muggle born?" She raised her eyebrows at me.
"Well... think about it logically, Alice! If I had my way, I wouldn't even be friends with you, but you won't let that happen, so.. but, seriously, we all know they're going to be after me as soon as I leave this place, and why would I want to put all of my friends in danger because of me? I just couldn't do that to hi-.. to all of you."
"When are you going to start to realise that we don't care? We're not going to abandon you because there may be danger ahead, if anything, we all want to fight them with you, not leave you on your own to do it." She nuged my side. "You really need to stop thinking like this, Lily. Just you wait until James hears about this."
"And why is he going to hear about this?"
"Probably because Sirius might have overheard us talking.."
"He WHAT!"
"Yeah, did you not see him just then, running around the corner?" She pointed to the end of the corridor. "Yeah, that was when he heard you raise your voice. He legged it then."
I sighed. I seemed to be doing that a lot lately. "Great."
.
I didn't want to go to the Great Hall. I'd already avoided James at lunch, saying that I had to visit Slughorn for something, but I couldn't do anything in my power to stop myself being dragged down to dinner.
"Look," Alice whispered in my ear, as she dragged me down the marble staircase, "If you do another disappearing act, I'll let Mary and Marlene know what's going on, and you know you won't be able to avoid anything with them in the know. So just think yourself lucky that I'm the only person who knows."
"I don't know why you're being so pushy. I didn't avoid James on purpose," Her expression told me she believed otherwise, "no, seriously, I didn't. I just, well, I didn't want to put myself in the path of temptation."
"Well, consider this me putting you in the path of temptation. Honestly, Lily, stop being such a drama queen."
I rolled my eyes and let her drag me towards the Great Hall. It was better for her if I didn't put up a fight. Instead, I let myself think of just how quickly these feelings had come on, I didn't think it was possible. If I would have known this time two days ago that I would be falling for James Potter, I would have gone to a doctor to make sure that I was still sane. It just doesn't make sense. How could feelings this strong come on in such a little amount of time? The only solution I could think of is that they have always been there, all along, they have just been very deep. But the only feelings I had ever felt for 'Big Head Potter' was hate. I just couldn't understand it. Unless someone had slipped me a love potion..
"... pathetic greasy slimeball. Who does he think he is? Stupid piece of-"
"Prongs, calm down. What have I told you before? Rise above it, become the bigger person. Just forget about him, all he wants is a fight."
"Yeah, and if he doesn't watch it, that's what he'll get."
"What's going on?" Alice asked, sitting down next to Remus. I slid in beside her.
"Nothing besides the ordinary. Snape antagonised James, and now James is all but raring to start a fight."
I sighed. "Seriously, James. You need to just ignore Snape. All he wants is attention, so why bother giving it to him?" I saw Alice smile at me, and I could tell she was pleased I wasn't making the situation as awkward as it could be.
Peter put down his knife and fork. Everyone stared at him. It was a rare occasion whenever Peter stopped eating. "She's right, Prongs. He's a Slytherin. Don't go to his level. Ignore him." He looked around, and must have noticed the shock on all of our faces. "What?"
Sirius laughed. "I can't remember the last time I saw you put down your knife and fork until your plate was empty and you literally couldn't eat any more." James chuckled in agreement. I hated how my heart fluttered at the sound.
"Well... actually, I'm thinking of going a diet..."
So that's it, the first chapter. If you have time, please let me know what you think of it. Thanks again for reading.
