"Excited to be playing your home town?" Candace, my stage manager, asked as I waited for my cue.

"Yea, it's great to be back." I smiled, took a deep breath and shook myself. Then, I jogged onstage as the big voice announced me. "Hey, New Jersey! Are you ready to rock?"

Almost an hour later, I thanked the huge crowd and ran off.

"Autographing starts in fifteen." Someone shouted as my team rushed me to my dressing room.

Haley swept my hair up, while Jason brushed my face with a non-shine powder. All Alyssa did was take off my gloves and stick them in my back pocket.

After a three hour meet and greet, I was finally on the last person.

"Hi!" I greeted her. "What's your name?"

"Maddie." The sweet, little girl whispered and put her head down.

Smiling, I pulled the gloves from my back pocket and handed them to her. "Well, Maddie, since you're my last fan for the night, I want you to have these."

Her little eyes got wide, and then her face broke into a smile. "Oh! Thank you Robyn!"

I gave her a hug and watched her walk away with her mother.

"Well, Ms. Shilas, that was very nice of you."

Spinning to my right, I saw Gene, my boyfriend, waiting for me. I gave a huge smile, and then launched myself into his arms.

"Oh, my God! I've missed you!" I hugged his neck, then leaned back and kissed him.

"Let's go home." Setting me down, he took my hand and started pulling me toward the doors.

After refusing a hotel room and a limo ride, we finally got home at 2:27 a.m. His apartment was set in a cozy building, just outside city limits. Before I became famous, I lived with him because my mom moved to Florida.

I quickly changed into a pair of his shorts and my tank top, and then climbed into bed beside him. Sighing, he pulled me closer and I snuggled into his chest.

"How long do I get to keep you this time?"

"Tonight and almost all day tomorrow, I'm all yours. I leave for New York tomorrow night." I whispered, almost afraid for the answer.

But he didn't say anything, so I let my eyes close.

The next morning I woke up in the same position. Tightening my fists in his t-shirt, I let out a contented sigh.

"I like the sound of that. We should stay like this all day."

I let out a laugh, and then heard his stomach growl. "I agree, but it sounds like your tummy doesn't."

Chuckling, he ran a finger down my spine. "It will stop. I never eat breakfast anymore."

I rolled my eyes and let it drop. "I've missed this; waking up in your arms, smelling you every time I breathe in."

"So have I." He kissed me on the mouth, and then started making his way down my cheek and jaw.

His hands made their way underneath my top and started upward. He rolled us over so I was on bottom and kissed me again. When his hands went lower, I broke the kiss.

"Gene…" Biting my lip, I felt him pause.

"I won't hurt you, I promise." He murmured against my neck.

He started kissing again and hooked his thumbs into the waistband of my shorts. Before he could get them off, I pushed him away and got off the bed.

"I'm sorry, I can't." I whispered, and then left the bedroom.

He followed me, grabbing my upper arm and spinning me back to face him.

"Why not? It's not a hard choice." He demanded with his teeth clenched.

"Ow, Gene, you're hurting me." I glanced at his grip on my arm.

"Just tell me why not!" He yelled.

Getting angry, I yelled back. "Because sex is sacred! Not until after marriage."

"And yet you won't marry me?"

My eyes widened and I whimpered when he grabbed the other arm and started shaking me. "Stop! Please, stop!"

"Why won't you marry me?" He was still yelling.

"Because, I'm only seventeen! That's way too young to get married!" I choked out so he would stop. Tears were forming in my eyes, but I told myself that I wouldn't give in to them.

I saw anger flash in his eyes, then suddenly he let go and I fell.

His voice was softer this time. "You don't love me do you?"

I couldn't answer, just scooted backward so I was sitting in the corner. Drawing my knees up, I wrapped my arms around them and rocked.

"After 2 and ½ years? You still don't love me?" He sounded dumbstruck and shocked.

I couldn't hurt him, or lie, so I just stayed quiet. After a few minutes, he disappeared into the bedroom, only to come back out fully dressed in his work uniform. Grabbing his keys off the counter, he walked out the door.

When I was sure he was gone, I quickly showered, fixed myself and then called Angie, my right-hand, for the limo. Then, I found paper and a pen and wrote:

Gene,

I'm sorry I hurt you, but I just don't love you. I like you immensely and the two and a half years were great but… I'm sorry I couldn't stick around and tell you in person, but I didn't want to be hurt anymore than you already have hurt me, physically.

Yes, Gene, you hurt me and that I cannot forgive. Even now as I write this, I have to make sure the tops of my arms are covered. No, I won't say anything to anyone, if you promise to leave me alone and let go. Please delete my number from your phone and don't try to call or write or anything, at all.

Again, I'm sorry I don't love you, but sex won't help because of how I view it. To me, it's not sex, its making love. I wish you could understand that, I really do.

Anyways, good luck in life and realize this is the last time you will hear from me.

My regards,

Robyn

Sighing, I laid the letter on the table and grabbed my bags. Pausing, I dug out my keys and detached the door key, then placed it on top of the paper. I heard the almost silent knock and peeped through the eye hole. Seeing it was James, I opened the door and handed him my bags. I shut the door behind me, after I locked it, and followed James to the car.

The ride to the airport was filled with memories. The first time I met Gene, our first date, our first kiss. The day we took a whole weekend off to help my mom move to Florida, and spent almost the whole time on the beaches. The first night of living together, our play day in the snow, sledding and throwing snowballs at each other. Then, the nice dinner he bought on the day I signed my recording contract. And the night I left for tour. Most recently, the night he showed up backstage. The happiness I felt waking in his arms this morning.

But all those happy memories and more couldn't beat out the look in his eyes an hour ago when I refused sex. The hurt and the anger of him realizing I don't love him.

Sighing, I pushed him from my mind. Gene is no longer in my life.