TITLE: Failed
AUTHOR: JackValentine
BETA: residentreject619
PAIRING: The Miz/Alex Riley
RAITING: PG-13
GENRE: Songfic, angst
SIZE: Mini
WARNINGS: None
AUTHOR'S NOTE: Very angsty and completely out of my ideal Miz/Alex universe.
DISCLAIMER: Do not own the guys (I wish I did ^^)
Kiley, you fucked up again! – exclaimed Mike as they entered the locker room.
Oh Mike c'mon. What's wrong this time?
Miz didn't answer. He just started changing silently, but Kevin could feel electricity around him. If someone touched Mike right now he'd explode in flames, so the blonde didn't even try to continue the conversation.
Moments like this hurt him the most. Miz was actually the only person in the world who he loved, but living with him got harder and harder to bear each day. The worst thing was that Mike never explained what was wrong or what he wanted from Kevin. The only thing he did is slamming the door and disappearing, sometimes coming back only in the morning, leaving Kevin alone. Alone… This condition was getting almost permanent for Kevin.
However, there were some moments which were worthy of living for. When Miz was in a good mood Kevin could steal a kiss or a hug from him. These moments were precious for Kiley, cause even when they had sex, they kissed very rarely. They never slept together, as well. Kevin was dreaming of falling asleep in Mike's embrace, but didn't dare to let Miz know. He understood that the only thing that would happen is Mizanin calling him a pussy and a nance.
When they both got changed and were on the way to the car Kevin tried to put his hand around Mike's shoulders, but Miz avoided his touch.
Don't touch me!
You're still angry?
Course I am! I didn't teach you… This! I taught you to be the best, but you're just a loser!
That was over the top, even for quiet and submissive Kevin.
You're angry because I didn't become a copy of The Miz! – he shouted out.
Mike opened his mouth. It was quite unexpected from the tamest person he has ever known. Then Miz just turned his back and continued his way to the car.
I'm tired of being what you want me to be
Feeling so faithless lost under the surface
Don't know what you're expecting of me
Put under the pressure of walking in your shoes
Every step that I take is another mistake to you
In the hotel room
As soon as Kevin took his jacket off, Mike went right back to the door, going to leave the room.
Where are you going?
Not your business.
Not my business? I think I have the rights to know where you are, Mikey. I thought that I… Meant something to you.
Mike turned around. His face was emotionless and his eyes were a pure glacier.
You were wrong.
Kevin didn't see the door slamming cause his eyes were full of bitter tears.
"Do I deserve to be treated like this?.."
I've become so numb I can't feel you there
I've become so tired so much more aware
I'm becoming this all I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you
An hour has already passed since Mike came back. He looked at the watches once again and sighed. Kevin still was not home.
Mike swore through his teeth and heard the sound of the door opening. It was his lover. He quickly got up and ran to hallway, finding an absolutely broken and a little drunk Kevin. Miz slightly caressed Kiley's cheek and asked:
Where have you been?
But Kevin flatly pushed his hand away.
Is the answer "it's not your business" okay?
Stop it, Kev, - he pleaded, absolutely surprised with the fact that Kevin has changed so much in a period of one day.
I won't.
You will, - Mike roughly grabbed Kiley's chin, - and don't you dare to go anywhere without me knowing it, boy!
He turned his back and disappeared behind the bathroom door.
Can't you see that you're smothering me
Holding too tightly afraid to lose control
Cause everything that you thought I would be
Has fallen apart right in front of you
Every step that I take is another mistake to you
And every second I waste is more than I can take
Mike was standing in the doorway, watching the other man packing his clothes.
What the fuck are you doing?
I'm leaving.
Oh, really? – Miz let out a short laugh.
Kevin froze.
"Does this guy really think that I'm his property?"
He approached Mike and took a cold look into his eyes.
Really.
All of a sudden Kevin became very convincing. Miz felt panic overtaking him. He couldn't imagine his life without Kevin.
Kev… Kev, c'mon, you can't just leave me like that.
I can, Mike. You think that everything is a game? That everything will be the same? No, dear. We're not in a movie. There will be no happy end. – a huge pause reigned, killing both men inside, - If I leave now, I ain't coming back, Mike. – Kevin added with a slight touch of a last hope in his voice.
"If he'd try to stop me now, I'll forgive him for everything. I'll forget everything. And we'll start it again, anew… If he'd just try to stop me now"
But Mike just remained silent, staying in the doorway with his head lowered.
Kevin sighed and walked out, slamming the door. With this sound Mike's heart cracked. He stepped into the hallway, inhaling the stuffy air, which still smelled of Kevin slightly. He felt empty and useless. Mike sat on the floor and pressed his ear to the door. The sound of Kiley's steps was still audible.
I've become so numb I can't feel you there
I've become so tired so much more aware
I'm becoming this all I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you
Mike felt warm teardrops flowing on his cheeks. It was the first time he cried in like 10 years. He backed to the cold wooden door. Mizanin had no thoughts and didn't know what to do next, it seemed like he forgot even that he has to sleep or to get up and walk. His heart was beating rarely and uncertainly. He was broken. He failed. Failed. Failed in controlling his temper, failed in becoming a better person, failed in learning how to love and the most important failed in his attempts to make Kevin… Happy.
"I love you, Kev…"
He whispered to the cold door surface. But it was too late.
And I know
I may end up failing too
But I know
You were just like me
With someone disappointed in you.
