SONG ;;

Falls Apart by Thousand Foot Krutch

PAIRING ;;

Jack x Roger

UNIVERSE ;; (Book, 1963 Movie, 1990 Movie, AU)

Book


Jack was without a doubt the only person Roger ever showed any sort of weakness to. He was emotionless around others. He was insane around others. He was sadistic around others.

He was weak around Jack.

It wasn't because he trusted Jack. Roger wasn't sure he was capable of trusting anyone, including himself. There was just something about Jack that made Roger's shields go down, and while Roger didn't like that, he couldn't see any way to stop it.

Take earlier that day, for example. It had been a normal day, other than the fact that Jack had asked him, Roger, to take a walk in the forest to 'discuss strategy.' Strategy. As if they needed strategy. It was everyone against Ralph, the fatty, and the twins. In Roger's mind, the easiest thing to do was to just... go and get rid of them. Get them dead. Dead like Simon.

But Roger didn't refuse Jack, no, of course not. One did not simply refuse Jack Merridew. So he went on this walk. He went on this walk with this boy that, for some reason, Roger couldn't keep his facade around.

(but it wasn't a facade, more like a... defense... close to a facade, but not quite...)

It was silent for a while, as they wandered around among the trees. Roger diverted his attention from Jack, stabbing any bug he spotted with his stick.

(and also the occasional lizard)

"You wanted to talk strategy?" he asked, stabbing a particularly large beetle. There was no reply. Jack had probably nodded. Roger couldn't look, or he'd lose whatever composure he had. "I don't see why we need-"

"I didn't nod."

"Oh," Roger said. He felt heat flood his face. Oh, that was just wonderful. His face was probably bright red at the moment. "So..."

"Why are we out here?" Jack finished. Roger nodded, keeping his eyes on the ground. "I needed some time away from everyone."

"Then why'd you bring me?"

The question hung between them. They'd stopped walking. Roger had stopped looking for bugs and was instead just staring at his feet. "Because..." Jack started. "Because I meant... time away from everyone except you."

If Roger didn't get those shields back up at this very moment he was going to break completely down. "What makes me so special?" he asked. Good. His voice wasn't being all annoying and cracking, like it did sometimes when he was with Jack.

Jack didn't answer him. There was once again a heavy silence. Roger shifted from foot to foot, clutching his stick tightly in his hand. He didn't want to look at Jack. If he did, his defense would be useless and he'd vulnerable. Roger couldn't let his shield down for anything or anybody, not even Jack.

(even though he had before)

He heard Jack sit down. Roger remained standing however, glaring at the ground as though he had a personal grudge against it. "You can sit down..."

"No."

Roger turned to face a tree as he felt wetness prick the edges of his eyes. Oh god, not here, not now, why did this always happen around Jack?

"Are you alright?"

"No!" Roger said, a bit harsher than he had meant it. "Just..." he was unable to finish his sentence, and instead leaned face-first into the tree.

"Look, I'm sorry if I did anything, but you're just being weird."

Just being weird. Those words echoed off the walls in Roger's mind, bounced around, he couldn't forget them, he was willing to bet he would never forget them, no matter how long he lived to be. And he didn't know why. He'd been called worse than weird, and Jack wasn't even calling him weird, just the way he was acting. It didn't make any sense. He didn't make any sense. He was acting all emotional and... and like a girl, and just because of Jack.

Jack had stood up again; either that or he'd made a lot of weird rustling noises while sitting down. Roger continued facing the tree and wiped away the tears before they escaped. It would be completely and utterly ridiculous to cry. He was Roger. He didn't cry. Crying was for littleuns and the weak. Which included littleuns.

Jack was walking toward him now, and Roger felt a hand touch his elbow. He jerked away on reflex, and for the first time since they had begun their little expedition, looked Jack straight in the face - no, eyes even. Their eyes locked, dark brown on blue.

"Are you okay?"

Jack was confused. That was okay. Roger was confused, too. He shrugged. "I have no idea," he said. Now that he was looking at Jack, it was like he couldn't look away.

And then Jack captured him in a very awkward hug. A hug. "I don't know what's going on, but... um... I hope you get better soon?"

After Jack had let go, Roger stood there, unmoving, face beet-red. He'd... just... received... a hug... from Jack Merridew. He was sure he was one of the few people who could say (think, he'd never say it out loud, this was not going to leave this spot) they'd received a hug from Jack Merridew.

It was all very confusing. Roger wasn't sure if he liked it or not.


:D I loved writing this. A lot of italicized words, but that's how Roger's head works, in my head. I'm not sure why...