AN: so soulmate aus are beautiful, injustice 2 is the batman v superman movie we should've had, i love writing kara's perspective because kara is beautiful and she is sunshine and she must be protected at all costs
AND THUS, ALL THESE FACTORS ARE WHAT COMPELLED ME TO CREATE THIS.
She's twelve. She's already twelve, and she's yet to get her words.
As far as she's been informed, everyone in the whole universe gets them: the words their soulmate utters to them when they first meet, inked somewhere on their skin.
Soulmate, on the other hand, is the official name for the person who is meant to be someone's life partner. Ultimately, once the words are said and a connection is established, it'll be up to the soulmates to decide how their relationship will build up from there. It's almost always bound to turn romantic, not because they have to but because the deep emotional connection that is shared between the soulmates is practically impossible to resist.
It's extremely rare for soulmates to decide on a platonic relationship, and even rarer to reject your soulmate. To have to reject your soulmate… she's heard that it can be so traumatic for both parties that it has been known to kill, but happens so scarcely.
According to her mother, it's rare to find someone over the age of ten with their skin still unmarked, like her case; rare, yes, but not unheard of.
Her parents, they're the lucky ones. They're each other's soulmates, having found each other early in life, and she can't help but want that now. She often catches herself wondering about her own happily ever after, and it's close to impossible to have to imagine such scenarios without the words to start the fairytale in her head.
She's grumbling. She knows it's ridiculous, but it's irrational. She doesn't realize her muttering under her breath attracts someone's attention.
"You'll get your words soon enough, Kara," her Aunt Astra says as she steps towards her. At this point, she's so used to her aunt being able to see right through her, like always. She's almost sure her aunt knows her more than her own mother. Her aunt gives her a gentle embrace, to which she receives wholeheartedly.
Her fists tighten as she grasps at her aunt's robes. She's twelve — she's expected to act like the adult that she is — but she allows herself this one time to feel childish; it's Aunt Astra so it's a safe environment.
"It's not fair," she complains lightly. "Kal isn't even a year old, yet he already has his words." Kal-El is her baby cousin; his blue eyes and curly fringe are his most distinct features, besides being absurdly adorable. Written on his left ankle, there's a loopy fancy script that ironically reads "Hi, er…. Hi."
Her aunt loosens her hold on her and she takes that as an indication to let go, her arm falls useless to her sides. Her aunt bends down to meet her at eye-level, tapping her lightly on the nose in a playful manner. The mere action gets the desired effect: the corners of her eyes crinkle as the edges of her lips tug upwards; she's giggling, like the child she'd once been.
"Patience, little one."
She's then left to watch her aunt's robes billow in the breeze as she exits the room, possibly to attend to her duties. Her aunt's movements are fluid and precise, and she can't help but feel crestfallen for the woman. Her aunt is so fierce and formidable on the battlefield yet so kind and graceful in her judgment; it makes her heart pang at how her aunt still hasn't met the person who will utter the words "Looks like we'll be here for a while" etched onto her palm in a messy handwriting. She's amazed at the woman's compassion and her willingness to trouble herself with her niece's silly little anxieties over not having her words when she herself hasn't even met her soulmate yet.
She briefly contemplates if her aunt's encouraging words are really meant for her, or for herself.
*—*—*—*—*
Just a week later — no, not even a full week, more like a little over five days later — aliens drop ships and soldiers all around Krypton, with the intention of conquering them through brute force. They're ugly creatures: extremely tall, bony, wrinkly and brown. They hold a tremendous amount of intellect, and they're about as intelligent as they are vicious.
Every Kryptonian fighter is deployed, every weapon available is fired, but the creatures — they call themselves the Dominators — are ruthless. They eradicate everything and everyone that gets in their way without even blinking.
Her aunt—
She's watching her aunt give her all in the battle that takes place everywhere; she prays to Rao her aunt comes out of this alive and that she comes out on top. She screams from her place by the window when Aunt Astra gets struck by a laser beam that hits the back of her head. The horrific scene of absolute gore and utter disbelief makes her regurgitate right there.
It's her mother who later finds her on her knees, still by the window, in a puddle of her vomit and tears.
"Aunt Astra's gone, she's gone, she's gone…"
She'll never get to meet Aunt Astra's soulmate.
Aunt Astra deserves more than what she got.
*—*—*—*—*
She feels like she's floating, and not at all in a good way. She feels like someone has tossed her into the ocean with an anvil chained to her feet. The pain, the loss, everything weighs down on her as she tries to fight it but she can't. She can't. Just a couple of days ago, she'd been fretting about her words, or lack thereof. It'd been vapid at best, but it'd been simple… manageable. Her Aunt had just been there wrapped around her like she'd always been.
And now her beautiful, brave Aunt Astra is gone…
She isn't sure what she's supposed to do, so she runs. From her house's study, she dashes towards her room in seek of comfort. She hears voices from the living room, she slows down and tiptoes. It's her parents and Kal's parents.
"We don't have a choice, Lara!" Her father is saying to Kal's mother. "The Dominators… they've already destabilized Krypton's core."
"Lara," her mother says, much more gently than her father. "There's no other way to guarantee their safety."
Aunt Lara sobs, forehead connecting to Uncle Jor-El's shoulder as she cradles baby Kal closer to her.
Uncle Jor-El looks gravely ashen as he stares at his son, posture signaling defeat. "When?"
"At the rate we're seeing? Kara and Kal-El would have to be at least three lightyears away in the next two hours."
Her eyes widen as she stumbles back, words robbed from her. She wants to burst in; she wants to argue; she wants to yell at them. She wants to question just why are they not thinking of themselves. She wants to reason with them, wants them to come too because they're family. Kal is just a baby; he's going to need his parents.
But then she hears her mother's voice crack at the mere mention of her name, and she suddenly remembers there's only so much room in an escape pod for a single passenger.
Her shoulder blades meet the wall and she lets herself slide down.
As far as she knows, they only have two available pods.
*—*—*—*—*
Her mother's grasp on her hand hurts, but she doesn't dare tell her to let go, not when this is the last time she'll ever hold her hand. They're running to where they know her father is waiting, but they don't run at their top speed. Despite the urgency of the situation, she knows they both just want as much time to spend with each other as they can possibly get. She can hear the ticking in her head, drawing nearer and nearer to their doom.
She picks up on the telltale sound of take off. She looks up and doesn't miss the streak of light and smoke that shoots across the sky. That's it right there; that's her destiny literally being written in the stars before her eyes: to follow her cousin to the planet Earth, where she'll raise him, teach him their ways and protect him from danger. It's a mission she intends to fulfill, for Uncle Jor-El and Aunt Lara.
She wishes she had the chance to say goodbye to her Aunt Astra just as she'd done with Kal's parents earlier. Oh but fate really is cruel when it wants to be.
Her father is there by her pod, waiting. Reading the tension in his shoulders, she can see the despondency he's so desperately trying to mask.
Her mother lets go as her father clutches her shoulder.
"Your pod's coordinates are interlocked with Kal-El's. You will follow him to Earth," he says in that stern voice she's used to hearing, and she's grateful for the bit of normalcy.
In the bravest tone she can muster, she replies, "I'm not afraid, Father." She pictures her Aunt Astra, tries to mimic how she holds herself in battle so she won't give away just how terrified she actually is.
"The trip is long," her mother says, "but you'll sleep most of the way. We'll be with you in your dreams. You'll journey to Earth to look after your baby cousin." She can't take the defeat in her mother's eyes, but she can't look away, not when she knows she's never going to see them again. "Because of the Earth's yellow sun, you'll have great powers on this planet. You will do extraordinary things."
"I won't fail Kal-El," she promises, "or you."
Her mother surges forward to plant a kiss on her forehead, and the back of her mind reminds her that this is the last time she'll ever get her mother's maternal affection and guidance. She takes it; she takes it all. "Don't you ever forget, Kara. You belong to the House of El, a house of hope. In your darkest moments, never give up hope. I love you."
She's about to say it back — to attempt to convey all her emotions, everything she's thinking, all her fears, how it physically hurts to have to leave them — into those three words, but they get caught in her throat.
Somewhere in the building, an explosion reverberates and they all know the Dominators are closing in. Before she knows it, she's shoved into the pod, strapped in. The pod automatically senses her and the door locks. Her eyes snap to where her parents are—
She wishes she hasn't.
Dominators are there. Her father is lying motionless on the floor, eyes open and lifeless.
Her mother is being lifted into the air by a hand curled dangerously around her neck. She shrieks at the monsters to let her mother go, but her pod already takes off.
Her eyes are closing as coldness wraps around her, the pod readying her for hypersleep. She tries to fight it. All she wants to do is thrash around or turn the pod back around for her parents.
She can't do either. The cryochamber can't not put her to sleep and the pod has a set destination.
Her eyes feel heavy.
It's cold.
The last thing she hears is an explosion.
*—*—*—*—*
She is jolted awake when her head bangs against the glass of her pod hard.
She's awake.
That means she's arrived.
She blinks as she takes in her surroundings: a barren empty desert. She's arrived, and she's alone. Kal's pod is nowhere to be found. She's just left her home only to find herself alone. Where's Kal?
Where's Kal?
She becomes uneasy at the thought of her baby cousin alone. She panics at the idea of dying here alone in a strange new planet.
Almost seemingly out of nowhere, there's a man standing in front of her pod, effortlessly ripping off the broken glass pane as if it were cellophane. Rationally, she should be scared, but she gets a clear view of the man's familiar features and she feels calm…
Perhaps it's the recognizable eyes or even the fringe?
No, on the man's chest is her family's coat of arms that perfectly matches hers albeit miniaturized.
It can't be… but she says it. "Kal?"
The man smiles warmly and extends a hand. "Hello, Kara."
*—*—*—*—*
She doesn't understand how she's able to walk, much less stand. All she wants is to do is go back to the bed, curl up and cry.
She just wants to cry and be the child she never got to be.
Her cousin — her once baby cousin, now a fully grown man — informs her that she's late by twenty-four years. She knows he's not purposefully being insensitive, that he's joking to lighten up the mood for her sake, but it doesn't work. Her perception of time is different from his. To him, all twenty-four years of his life, he's just a human with tremendous power. To her, it's only been a couple minutes — maybe an hour tops — since she's made a promise to Kal's parents and her parents. She promised she'd take care of him. Part of the reason why she'd agreed so easily is because she thought she'd have time to grieve over everything she's lost.
Watching over Kal-El is supposed to give her some sort of peace.
But no. Once again, fate decides to backhand her.
Her biggest dilemma in life was just supposed to be her not having her words, but then she had to watch Aunt Astra get shot in the head, had to watch her mother get strangled, had to live with the fact that her entire planet was blown to bits by aliens…
And now she's robbed of her plan of healing the way she'd wanted to by twenty-four years.
Kal squeezes her hand before letting go, only to drop to his knees to gather her petite frame in his arms. She wants to be mad at him, wants to tell him that she's far more mature than how he's treating her, but… she loves it.
"I'm sorry I'm late," she says lamely, desperately trying her best not to cry. She's already being childish by accepting the hug, she can't add sniveling to that.
"Doesn't matter to me, Kara. What matters is that you're here now. I'm really glad you're here." He sounds so sincere. She wants to be petty, to be bitter at the fact that Kal wasn't raised by her, but she can't; the people who raised him had clearly done a much better job than what she would have anyway.
The thought leaves a bitter aftertaste. "I… I was supposed to watch over you."
"I'm sure you would have done great."
"I'm sorry."
"It's not your fault, Kara. But right now, you'll need to stay with the Danvers, okay?"
"What? You're— We're… I'm not staying with you."
Kal-El stiffens at her defeated statement. He pulls back and looks at her gravely. "I can't… It's not that I don't want you around. You're family. But with me being Superman? It'd be too dangerous. I have a lot of enemies, and they will not hesitate to use you to get to me. You're still relatively new to this planet. You're still getting used to your new surroundings. With a longer exposure to the sun, you'll soon develop powers like mine, but until you are able to control them, you'll need to stay hidden."
She understands, she really does. Strategically, it's a reasonable request, but given what has just happened — at least, what shethinks has just happened— she wants him to stay.
"The Danvers are great," he goes on. "They're scientists. They helped me understand my powers and how to use them."
She nods her understanding.
"Hey. Kara. Look at me." She doesn't realize she's been looking down. She lifts her head. "This isn't goodbye. Goodness, you just got here. Please remember, Metropolis isn't far from Midvale, so I'll always be around when you need me."
She wants to laugh at how ridiculous her life has turned out. "That's my line."
He laughs for the both of them. "You'll forgive me if I'll be the one who'll look after you here on out, baby cousin." He laughs harder when she hits his shoulder. "I'll come back soon, all right? I'll even bring Lois!"
Her nose wrinkles at the unfamiliarity of the name. "Lois?"
His smile goes tame and he blushes a little. "My soulmate."
Not even a year old and he'd gotten his words. And now she learns he, once again, has beaten her to meeting their respective soulmates. She can't bring herself to be mad, however, seeing how happy he is.
Her planet is dead. Everyone she knows is gone. It's not that she deserves to get her words now; it's that there's no one out there who should have her as a soulmate. They'll only end up with nothing but grief.
She smiles, much more genuinely now. "I can't wait to meet her."
*—*—*—*—*
Kal introduces her to the Danvers before flying off, promising to be back soon. The matriarch approaches her with great caution, not unlike she's inching towards a scared child. She then realizes she's still twelve or thirteen years old; in Krypton, she's a young adult but to a human, she's still a child. The woman gives her a kind smile, one that makes her feel warm inside.
"I know I'm not your mother, and I will never try to replace her, but you're safe now," the woman says. "My name is Eliza. And that man over there is my husband, Jeremiah. We'll be looking out for you from now on."
She nods, unsure of what else to do. The woman holds out her hand and she takes it.
This is the beginning of a rewritten chapter in her life.
*—*—*—*—*
Kara Zor-El is no more. From the ashes, Kara Danvers takes her place. Kara Zor-El is dead, but all of Kara Zor-El's baggage just has to be brought over to Kara Danvers. Logically, she knows just because she has shed her Kryptonian identity doesn't mean all her psychological trauma would magically go away, but there's no harm in hoping right?
Eliza and Jeremiah have another daughter, their actual biological daughter named Alex, and she's positively sure she hates her. She hasn't outright said it but it's clear in the way she glares at her over dinner, only to quickly cover it up with a faux smile that manages to pass genuine.
She understands her dislike; she's just some alien her parents decided to take in. Any teenager would likely feel the same when their orderly routine has been shaken.
She just wishes Alex will someday warm up to her.
*—*—*—*—*
Her first day of school is... complicated, at best.
She doesn't understand the curriculum, not really.
The science and math are easy enough, she'd grown up on it. Seeing her excel in both areas, she is placed in pre-calculus (she'd already taken the full course of calculus at age four) and Advanced Science 8 (her father had taught her quantum physics and organic chemistry; granted she forgot a lot of it, but the basics they teach in this school is laughably easy).
English is simple, but literature is hard. She's never heard of a Shakespeare and it makes her wonder if she really needs to be acquainted with his work; they're poetic, she'll give him that but that's it.
Foreign language is a subject she's okay with. Her mother was a judicator, who found the use of learning different languages an asset in her line of work. She'd grown up listening to the different melodies and rhythms of the languages of different worlds that her mother had to learn. She ends up choosing ASL and French.
Social Studies are kicking her in the lungs repeatedly. She knows about her own planet's history, and twelve others. She doesn't know Earth's history or geography or governments; she literally crash-landed two days ago, give her a break!
But that's not all school's about, is it? Of course there's the social aspect to it.
Everyone avoids her like the plague.
Apparently, no one wants to be friends with the new girl who's way too smart, way too athletic (the yellow sun is doing wonders for her), way too hungry (again, the yellow sun is all the power source she needs, but food in this planet is actually better compared to Krypton; she doesn't understand why kids find the cafeteria food disgusting), and just plain strange (it's not her fault her ears are sensitive to the bells and chattering, and that her eyes can suddenly see past lockers).
Kids in this world are cruel. They shove past each other in between classes, and give one another as bad a time as they can. At the end of the day, one boy makes fun of her for walking home instead of taking the bus.
She grits her teeth instead of yelling at him that she physically can't without freaking out.
Kal wants her to have a normal human-type childhood. She's going to do her best to have one for his sake... it's just proving to be more difficult than she'd anticipated.
*—*—*—*—*
Jeremiah takes her out one day. Not out out, just far enough that the house almost disappears into the horizon, overlooking the majesty of the sea by a cliffside.
They sit down on a bench, where she tries to sit casually, like how she's observed children in this world do. It's hard; she's trained from day one to have a posture so rigid, having to train herself out of it to slouch to appear more human proves to be a challenge.
"I made these for you," Jeremiah says with a kind smile. He reaches into his jacket pocket and pulls out a pair of spectacles. She doesn't understand, her eyesight is perfect, much better since she's been soaking up the power of the Earth's yellow sunlight so why she'd need glasses is beyond her.
Her doubt must have been obvious because Jeremiah is chuckling. "The frames are lined with lead," he explains as he hands them to her. "They'll suppress your vision, help you fit it, help you make your life..." More human-like? "... easier." Ah.
She puts them on and the whole world goes duller. Not in a less vibrant way, but a more manageable way that allows her to think; she can focus much better now. There isn't a constant annoyance of seeing every single speck of dust that blows in the air around her anymore; her vision is back to the way it was before leaving Krypton.
She's thankful, so she conveys the message by saying just that.
*—*—*—*—*
A couple of days later, Kal makes good with his promise and comes back. This time, he's in a vehicle, driving, with a woman in the passenger seat.
"Hey, Kara!" Kal says as he exits his vehicle and approaches her.
He's dressed differently compared to last time: his hair is slicked back, meaning the curly fringe she's familiar with is gone; he's wearing glasses (lead-lined too, most-likely), a button up shirt, pants and leather shoes. It isn't just his outfit that's different, so is the way he carries himself. Last time she saw him, his posture had been straighter, looked more sure of himself, and just radiated confidence and strength. Now, he's clumsy, shy, almost like he doesn't want to call attention to himself if he sneezed wrong. If she doesn't know this man, she wouldn't have guessed he's Superman.
It's amazing how he's able to do that, all for the sake of his identity.
"Hi, Kal," she replies.
"Nice glasses!" He says. The way his lips tug upwards into an expression of pure earnest ecstasy makes her heart twinge in a bit of envy. She wonders when she'll be able to have that.
He shoots his arm to his side, to which the woman takes with a roll of her eyes. There's an ease about them that she only ever saw with her parents. She knows it's that soulmate bond between them, but there's something more. There's this trust that runs deep between them anyone can easily detect as they make their way to her. She doesn't know how long they've known each other, but it has to have been years, seeing them be so comfortable with each other. Even with the soulmate bond, most soulmates can't have that same level of reliance.
The woman, once close enough, extends the hand that isn't connected with Kal's towards. She is able to easily spot the words "It's nice to meet you, Miss Lane" on her forearm.
"Hello, Kara. It's nice to finally meet you." She can tell the woman has a professional background; her poise is relaxed but straight, her smile is warm and inviting, her appearance seems to mean a great deal for her job, judging by the careful application of makeup.
She shakes the woman's hand cordially. "It's nice to meet you too, Ms. Lois Lane." That takes the woman aback just a bit. She lets her lip quirk upwards just a bit. Seeing Kal's reaction, this reaction isn't a typical one for the woman. "Sorry. Kal mentioned he'd already met his soulmate, that her name is Lois—"
"I didn't tell you her last name," Kal interjects.
One side of her lips curl higher; she revels in that feeling when people underestimate her. "Your— I can— I can see your words." She points at Lois' exposed forearm.
Kal laughs out loud, bringing Lois closer to his frame; the woman blushes slightly, looking a bit flustered. She feels right at home, so she laughs too.
*—*—*—*—*
Lois Lane, she later learns, is a no-nonsense woman with the wit and two Pulitzers to back that up (she doesn't know what a Pulitzer entails but by the way Kal had said it, it's a huge honor), but she also has the tendency to become rattled and still find humor and irony in it. She can understand why Kal becomes a babbling mess of pride and adoration when he talks about her: she's his perfect match, a loving partner for Clark Kent and a journalist ready to expose the truth about anything with the aid of Superman.
By the time they have to get back to Metropolis, Lois has carefully instilled this idea of helping people with more than just a punch to defeat a criminal or flying a victim out of a burning building; words have an impact too.
*—*—*—*—*
She doesn't realize she's ripping her blanket seam by seam until she's literally punched in the face. If she hadn't had all that time soaking up the rays of the yellow sunlight, it would have hurt, but it didn't even sting.
Her hand flies to her cheek, more for shock than actual pain.
"Sorry," Alex says, standing over her. She's out of breath, sweaty and alarmed. It's quite literally the first thing Alex has said to her in the month she's been here. The hostile look in her eyes are non-existent; she actually looks apologetic. "You were... screaming in your sleep. I've been trying to wake you up, but you wouldn't..."
She nods; she doesn't mean it, but it comes out frantic.
"Does... Does it hurt?"
"No!" She winces at the volume. "No. It doesn't. Thank you. For waking me up."
"It's fine. I... I get nightmares too sometimes. Not as bad as yours, but... yeah."
Her head tilts in confusion. "Really?" Alex has the ideal life for a fourteen year old human girl. How could she possibly get nightmares?
Alex nods. "Yeah. Happens to the best of us." Alex steps back until the back of her knees hit her own bed, causing her to sit. Alex pats her bed in invitation.
She stares at Alex's hand for the longer part of half a minute. She meets Alex's eyes in a panic when she realizes what Alex means. "I can't! I-I have a perfectly good bed, I can't possibly disturb you further—"
Alex's snort cuts her off. "Please, Kara. I'm not offering for the sake of it. Hey, maybe I'll chase the bad dreams away."
"Really, Alex. It's okay. You've given me enough: half your room, half your closet... I—"
"Kara." The look Alex gives her is enough to make her cave.
She pushes her way out of her own twin-sized bed to get to Alex's full-sized one. As she settles in, Alex throws the covers over her body.
"Thank you," comes her meek response.
"Hey. What are sisters for?"
Her back is against Alex, so Alex doesn't see the way she beams fully. "Right. Sisters."
*—*—*—*—*
It's been a week, and she hates herself for not being able to keep the nightmares at bay. She hates herself for not being able to get in her new family's car. She hates herself for not being able to just. Move. On.
She tries. She really does, but the way she seizes up and the sudden thinning of air around her whenever she sees any sort of vehicle happens involuntarily and she despises that about herself.
Eliza, Jeremiah and Kal all suggest therapy. Alex tells her to think about it.
She wants to deny. She wants to kick and scream and say no, but one look at Kal-El and she can hear her father tell her sternly, "It's for your own good."
She accepts.
*—*—*—*—*
"Hello, Miss Danvers, how are you doing today?"
"Kara, please. And I'm doing well, thank you."
"All right then. Kara. My name is Dr. Quinzel, but you can call me Harleen. Do you know why you're here?"
Hands clench into fists. "My cou— My family thinks I should."
"But you don't."
"Logically, I know I should be here, but I highly think it's unnecessary."
"So, tell me why should you be here?"
Hands wringing together. "I... I get nightmares every night and... I can't get into... small spaces."
"Okay. Let's start with the nightmares. Can you tell me what they're about?"
Breathe out. "My parents. My aunt." Force down sob. "Me... getting crushed. To death. By aste— by... boulders."
"What happened to your parents and aunt, Kara?"
Close eyes. "They... they were murdered. Right there, in front of me."
"Is that your fault?"
Tears ooze out on their own accord. "Yes! I was stuck that pod! I could've— I was stuck... for so, so long, helpless. I can't—" Breathe in. Breathe out. Fists relax. Fingers fiddle with blouse. "Why can't I be okay again?"
"You can be okay. And I'm not just saying that. From what I'm hearing, Kara, you're incredibly smart and insightful. Is you being stuck in a... pod?"
Eyes snap open. "I-I meant car, sorry."
"You don't need to apologize. Is you being stuck in a car for so long the reason why you can't get into tight spaces?"
Hands open, flat against lap. "I— Perhaps. I'm... Yes."
"So you're aware that you need to get over this traumatic event for you to be — as you say — okay again."
"Yes! But how?"
"Kara, my job isn't to tell you how. If it was, I'd be a counselor, not a therapist. I'm simply here to help you through it."
Bite back sarcasm. "I understand, Dr. Quinzel."
"It's Harleen, Miss Danvers."
"Harleen." Compose self. "How often would I need to see you?"
"That depends on how fast you get a hold of things. From what I'm seeing, I'd like to see you every week."
"Okay."
"And I'd like to start you on some anti-anxiety medication."
Panic. "U-Uh, no. Please. That won't be necessary."
"Will you tell me why you think it's unnecessary, Kara?"
Breathe. "I just..." It won't work on me. "I want to get over this myself. Without the need for drugs."
"Kara, the medication I'd prescribe you on won't—"
"No."
"All right, then. No medication. For now. But should your panic attacks get worse, Kara, I'm going to need to give you something. Nothing too bad, just a low dose of something like Prazosin or even Venlafaxine to help control the symptoms."
"I understand. I just... don't want it."
"Okay. Have you ever fainted from one of your panic attacks or unknowingly attacked anyone?"
Shake head. Don't think about accidentally hurting anyone with newly-developed strength. "No."
"All right. Same time, next week, Kara. I expect to see you again."
Nod. "You will."
"Oh and Kara, I know it's just words I'm saying at this point, but you have to learn to forgive yourself. That's the first step to being okay again."
*—*—*—*—*
"I told you we should've brought the umbrella!" Alex tells her as she quickly strips out of her soaking wet clothes.
"The sun was out this morning," she reasons as she takes off her top. Since that night of sharing Alex's bed, Alex has been diligently and patiently walking with Kara to school instead of taking the bus or having Jeremiah drop them off. "How was I supposed to know the weather was going to drastically change?"
Alex hops in her place as she puts on comfortable gray sweats. "I wish you had weather predicting po— oh wow, I didn't know you had two."
Her eyes widen. She looks down at her chest—
Alex laughs. "No, you freak. Your words."
She whirls around and, without meaning to, uses her speed to get to her sister. Alex is dazed for a second, but she's used to her randomly using her powers in the confines on their room. "I have my words?!"
Alex looks stunned. "You didn't know?"
She slaps her palm on her face. All this time, her words have been on her back! And all she's done in Krypton is complain she hasn't gotten them yet. Wonderful.
"Apparently not," she answers.
"I didn't know aliens get the words too."
Her hand drops. "Everyone in the universe gets them."
"Oh. Well... want me to read what they say? You can pick which one I can read first—"
"Wait, hold on. What do you mean?"
"Kara, it's a set."
There's a pause in the room to allow her to process what Alex has just said.
"I have two soulmates?"
"Yep, congratulations."
*—*—*—*—*
Instead of having to read them, Alex borrows her father's digital camera to take a picture of her shoulder blade and the middle of her back before transferring them to their laptop for her to view them.
On the middle of her back, just right below her shoulder blades, there is an elegant script that says "Green Arrow," which mildly perturbs her. What in the world would prompt her soulmate to say something about a colored arrow as their first greeting to her? Does that mean she has to pick up archery?
The one on her shoulder blade disconcerts her even more, where an almost childlike handwriting reads "You're on fire!"
"I don't know if I should laugh at the thought of you being on fire in front of your soulmate, or keep you locked in here away from all fires forever."
She throws a pillow at Alex's face as an attempt to cover up how excited she is at finally getting her words, even though they're just a tad absurd.
(But hey, she's an alien trying to live her life as if she isn't, why shouldn't her life be absurd?
Everything is okay. She can have her words. Krypton blowing up hadn't been her fault; it was the Dominators'.)
*—*—*—*—*
"Umm..."
Clark — not exactly Kal anymore, if at all; something she realized earlier after their fourth meeting: if Kara Zor-El is gone, so is Kal-El — grins at her good-naturedly, donned in his red and blue suit, still adorning their family's coat of arms. "We're not driving anywhere. If I'm being a little honest, I don't like cars too."
There he goes again, belittling her as if she were a child. It's been a few months; she should be used to Clark treating her that way, but she still isn't. She wants to stomp her foot, but that'll be even more childish. She settles for crossing her arms over her chest. "Where are we going?"
Clark's grin never wavers and actually stretches wider. "There's no place like home."
"Umm... what?"
That effectively wipes the grin from Clark's face. He mutters something to himself, something about telling the Danvers to make her watch... something. "Just get on, please."
"Do I have to?"
"Yes."
She kicks at some dirt to make her frustration just obvious enough before begrudgingly climbing onto his back.
"And I can't fly on my own because?"
"You can't."
She grins, all teeth. "Yet."
*—*—*—*—*
She tells him how Dr. Quinzel says she has post-traumatic stress disorder. Classic symptoms are nightmares, panic attacks, avoiding triggers, always feeling on edge, feeling guilty and taking blame... And guess what? She has all of those symptoms, or at least that's what Dr. Quinzel tells her.
Dr. Quinzel is adamant about the medication.
She continues to refuse.
"But I do all of the homework she gives me," she says. Despite the wind roaring in their ears, they talk at their normal volume since they have super hearing.
"Homework?" He asks, slowing down as he descends into snow.
"Yeah, she makes me read stuff about PTSD and makes me do a bunch of breathing exercises."
When he puts her down, right in front of a great palace of ice, he gives her an indecipherable look.
"What?" She asks eventually, feeling self-conscious.
"Nothing. You're just sounding more like Kara Danvers and less like Kara Zor-El now."
The corners of her lips pull upwards. Being surrounded by kids with a certain colloquial speech pattern and having to live with a fourteen-year-old teenager can do that to one's articulation.
She changes the subject. "Care to tell me where in the world we are, other than the fact that this is obviously the Arctic?"
"Right. Kara, welcome to the Fortress of Solitude."
She grimaces. "That's a mouthful, but oddly has a nice ring to it. Did you name it?"
He shakes his head, not as a response but more to clear his thoughts. "Uh, well— Anyway, this is my headquarters."
Her eyebrows knit at him. It's a sweet sentiment for him to have brought her here, but she doesn't understand why. "And you brought me here because?"
"One, I want to start training you as you're getting your powers. Two... well, you'll see once you get inside."
*—*—*—*—*
Her life slowly turns for the better in the next few years.
Her family sells their Ford in exchange for a convertible. Jeremiah tells her it's not for her sake, but for the family's.
"It was about time to get a new car," he says as he polishes the left side mirror.
But she knows better. She elects not to say it and instead, embraces her adoptive parents.
A year later and a half later, she can now take the bus with no ill consequences.
School is still easy (she's getting proficient with social studies and literature; in fact, she learns to love the latter) and kids are still cruel, but she learns you only need one friend to live through it.
She and Alex push their beds together in the center of the room so she doesn't have to be embarrassed sharing Alex's bed all the time. She now considers Alex as her closest friend beyond a sister.
She stops seeing Dr. Quinzel around the same time she is able to get a good night's sleep for a whole month. Dr. Quinzel calls her a quick success story.
Clark keeps taking her to the Fortress of Solitude to train her in both her combat skills and her powers. She loves to hate the training, since she doesn't need it; the world only has room for one superhero, but she humors him anyway. It's particularly fun and completely satisfying whenever she wins a sparring match.
She graduates from Midvale High with one of the best grades, just behind Alex. She later obtains her Bachelor of Arts degree in Marketing from National City University, where she also minored in journalism (Lois and Clark really rubbed off on her). A collection of odd jobs and internships later, she lands a sweet job as a personal assistant to Cat Grant. The job isn't that difficult and it pays well enough for her to get her own space in the heart of the city.
Krypton is gone; it's in pieces and it has been for decades now. She's not human, never will be, but she's found a home in their world and in a family she loves to her core.
She just can't wait for the day she finally meets her soulmates.
AN: I've been through enough therapy to know what kinds of questions they ask. Granted, I don't have PTSD, but some other stuff that's almost the same.
I didn't mean for this first part to be as long as it is, actually. It's just meant to be a two paragraphs long to summarize what happened in before season 1, but I wanted Kara to be different. I wanted her to closer to Clark and Lois, I wanted Alex to be more understanding (I mean, I get her point of view: she's just a teenager then some girl gets adopted into her family and things go awry, but c'mon, Kara just lost her entire planet), I wanted Kara to have a somewhat more realistic reaction to living on Earth. She's not angry, just more sad and in an attempt to make everyone happy, she's forcing herself to live in circumstances she's not comfortable with.
Next chapter, she's meeting one of our two OG heroes.
Thank you for reading. Feel free to leave a review. Helps me out a lot to read your insight and I truly appreciate every single one of them.
