A very long Disclaimer: I do not own Artemis Fowl, and since I live Down Under, I haven't read The Lost Colony. It's killing me slowly, but I'll buy it the second it comes out (I haven't read it YET, and I might have when I've written later chapters, so I'll keep you posted). Anyway, I invented the various devils and demons mentioned, mostly, but the ideas for them are from the anime/manga Chrono Crusade. The CC is also responsible for the Magdalene Order and it's various weapons, and many of the Brothers and Sisters. Sister Tabatha is my own invention, though. The fairies and Fowls are, obviously, from the brain of Eoin Colfer.

The exorcism of Artemis Fowl

Prologue - The Jar

"Are you sure, Artemis?" Asked Butler softly. "That thing looks evil." Artemis turned from his precarious position among the lasers. In gloved hands he held a strange carved stone jar, covered in ugly symbols.

"I know, Butler." He replied paciently. "But things that look evil can turn out very useful. One would think knowing me would make that point obvious." Butler hid a smile. Master Artemis was making more jokes lately, though occasionaly his humor was extremely cynical. But he didn't continue, as it was an unsafe activity in the middle of an occult wing in the british museum. Artemis carefully slipped the jar into a box he held. "Now back to Fowl Manor." He whispered, clutching the black box tightly. The fairies had given him a slight taste for the occult, and recent 'weird' deaths made him want to delve deeper.

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It was three days after the robbery, and Artemis was finally studying the jar. Since Butler was out, Juliet was touring, and his parents were in a spa for the next few weeks, no-one was in the house when he screamed.

If they were, they would have heard a blood curdling, banshe-like howl, followed by the terrified scream of Artemis himself. If they had been at the cameras, watching him, they would have seen something unexplainable, and horrifying. If they were in the room, however, the experiance would have been very different. As Artemis had been the only one, he was the only one in the room, the only one to feel it.

A minute before...

Artemis took up the small black box he had been keeping the artifact in, and lifted the lid. Within lay a truly hideous stone jar, carved with a disturbing, grimacing face, surronded by markings that glowed faintly beneath the harsh lamp light. He held it up, turning it in his gloved hands. But through the fabric he couldn't feel the markings, the texture properly. So, putting down the jar, he pulled off his gloves and delicately touched the markings, and felt a jolt of incredibal pain run through his arm. The stopper of the jar flew off the top, hitting him square between the eyes and sinking into his forehead, as a cross between a whirlwind of sand and a noxious gas poured from the top of the jar. Artemis, clutching his burning forehead, stared in terror at the forming spirit. It grinned in a half formed, gap toothed face, and screeched, before flying toward Artemis, who let out a terrified scream, as the creature flew directly into his mouth and within. Clutching his throat, Artemis choked on the creature, running into the bathroom and vomiting uncontrolably, before passing out on the floor.

"What a nightmare." Muttered Artemis as he woke in his chair, and rubbed his forehead, which was giving a twinge of pain, as was a slight sore throat. He shook his head and glanced at the stone jar. It was resting in the box, but it didn't have a stopper. "I don't think it ever did." He said softly, answering his own unvoiced question. He shrugged off the feeling of unease he felt. It's nothing. Said a voice in his head. Nothing at all. Just a stupid human feeling. Artemis nodded. "Stupid human feeling." He echoed eerily, standing. "I want some salt."

When Butler got back he found Artemis sitting at the piano, playing a melody he had never heard before, and the soft, tinkling sound was so macabre he never wanted to hear it again. "Artemis? How did that jar go?" Artemis looked up and nodded absently, his fingers never pausing over the keys.

"Alright. I haven't checked it fully yet, I've been busy. Perhaps tomorrow." Butler nodded. Though Artemis usually liked to consentrate on what he did, if he was acting absent it was alright, nothing critical.

"Artemis, could you stop playing that? It's scaring me."

"Oh, I'm sorry, Butler. I'll stop." Said Artemis softly. "I'm tired, I will go to sleep. Do not bother with a meal." Butler nodded, staring at his employer's back as he walked from the room. Walked? The boy glided, each step barely leaving the ground, but moving fast.

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Artemis woke with a red film across his vision. His hands felt sticky, and as he got up he realised his face was covered in whatever was gluing his eyes half shut. Walking to his joining bathroom, he tried to wash off whatever was on his hands, but his eyes were so fuzzy he couldn't see what it was. Washing his face he got a thin view of red as if washed down the drain, but he ignored it. Pulling off his clothes, he took a relaxing shower, washing off more of something that he couldn't see from the water and steam. Next he went and changed into clean clothes, wondering absently where his other clothes had disappeared to. He noticed a pile in the corner but a little voice in his head told him to ignore it. The voice gave his a slight headache, right between the eyes, but he ignored the pain and obeyed the voice. It was probally nothing.

Going down stairs, he saw Butler watching the news. The man turned, surprised to see Artemis, somehow. "You're late." He commented, then added, when he saw Artemis didn't understand: "Look at the time, it's past midday. Sleeping in a new habit?" Artemis nodded, unsure what else to do.

"What's on the news?" He asked, looking at the stricken face of the reader, then listened.

"This morning the body of a young man, aged 25, was found in a Dublin alleyway. Police are mystified to the form of murder, as the man's companions were nearby, but didn't hear a sound-" Artemis stopped listening, his mind buzzing. What had happened? And why did it feel familiar? And how could anything commit something so grusome? The pictures came up, and it was scary. But that little voice in his head told him to ignore it, and go have some salt, and some soy sauce, and he obeyed, though the rest of his mind fought it and continued thinking about the murder.

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There, chappie 1. Tell me what you think. The Order of Magdalene isn't involved yet, but they will be. Oh, and the salt and soysauce stuff is kind of a long story, but my excuse is salt equals purity, so demons love the stuff, as it is the only pure substance they can consume easily. PLEASE REVIEW!