Prologue
There are classic love stories, and then there are those that are not so typical. Either way, in the end, we tend amount their love to the perfectness of the ending. But what is the true test of love?
This is the story of a love between two people who had everything they ever wanted, because all they ever wanted was each other. But one day, it was all gone, taken from them by a tragic accident, and they both had to fight to win that love back.
This is their story.
'When It All Changed'
Pain.
That is the first thing she registers as she comes to. She realizes she's upside down when something thick and warm seeps into her eyes, clouding her vision.
The picture around her comes and goes; alternating from blackness to blurry pieces of broken glass. The sounds are just as confusing; she hears ripping and clanking and the occasional shouting in the distance. She's not sure where she is or how she got here, but she tries not to think since it only adds to the throbbing pain in her head.
She screams out as someone grabs her, forcefully pulling her from the dark, tight space. She can hear more voices now, and the shouting of commands is much too loud for her senses, not unlike the sudden brightness that threatens to blind her.
Hands are everywhere on her and she can feel them all on her face, her chest, her arms and legs. She is lifted into what feels like a bed, only harder, and she's placed into a vehicle with too many flashing lights. She hears as the door slams shut and as the tires squeak against the pavement as they take off.
Someone holds her hand.
"Ma'am," he says. She wishes that he would stop talking and let her rest. She was groggy after all.
"Ma'am," he continues anyways. "You were in an accident. You're on the way to the hospital. Can you tell me your name?"
With this he finally gets her attention. She realizes they might not have found her I.D and she'd have to identify herself if she ever wanted her loved ones to find out she was in trouble. She isn't sure exactly who he is, but she's certain that he will be looking for her. It forces itself into her head, pushing and pushing, frantically trying to make her remember.
"Tris," she finally whispers. "My name is Beatrice."
Tobias was thoroughly annoyed by the constant ringing. He had ignored it for a full thirty minutes before finally pulling out his cell phone. Only Tris was allowed to interrupt his meetings, and she had her own special ringtone so he was absolutely sure it wasn't she who was calling. Every time she'd called the sweet sound of an acoustic cover of "Hey, Soul Sister" would ring out and bring a smile to his face. It was their wedding song, the song that was playing in the background when they shared their first kiss.
"Tobias Eaton here," he answered the phone. He didn't care to disguise the annoyance in his voice.
"Tobias! We've been trying to reach you for so long!" Natalie, Tris' mother, said frantically on the other line, stopping Tobias dead in his tracks. "It's Beatrice. You need to come now!"
"Where is she?! What happened?!" Tobias almost shouted into the phone. All thoughts of his business transaction were shot through the door as he grabbed the keys to his truck and raced down the stairs when the elevator doors took too long to open. He ran past his colleagues a nervous wreck and with his heart in his throat.
"Her car," Natalie replied quickly. "She was in an accident. She was on her way to work when it happened. She's ok but you need to come now. We're at Eastbrook Memorial Hospital."
"I'm on my way," he didn't hesitate to say.
Tobias considered the possibility that this was all just a nightmare, because it almost seemed impossible to him. Tris was a careful driver. There was no way she would ever lose control of her vehicle. Unless, of course, the fault belonged to someone else. And if that was the case, if the perpetrator was not dead already, he surely would have been the minute Tobias found out who he was.
Cursing at his keys as he fumbled with them in panic, Tobias opened the door to his truck and climbed in. He clutched at the steering wheel for dear life, and flooring the pedal, he took off. He swerved through traffic like a madman, using every bit of strength he had to hold himself together.
The very thought of Tris being hurt tore him to pieces. But how could it not have? The day he met her was the day his life changed forever. Before Tris, Tobias Eaton was a cynical boy who did not believe in love. His parents were divorced when he was very young, so why would he have wasted his life believing in dreams? He had never completely written off women or even marriage, but he never could convince himself that it would ever last. That is, until he got to know her, Beatrice Prior.
Tris, as loved ones called her, was cut entirely from difficult cloth. She was an optimist, and although she never believed in love at first sight, she did believe that love would find her one day. Why would it not? She was raised in a close knit family by loving parents who showed her that love was real, having been happily married for almost thirty years. She was a college freshman hoping to one day be a journalist, and she was a seemingly normal girl if you didn't look hard enough, but Tobias did look, from the very first day he saw her.
The day they met, Tobias was more than a little upset. He and his best friend Zeke had been hanging out watching football, like they did every Sunday. Only this week, Zeke had invited his younger brother and Tobias had only bought snacks and beer for two. When they had run out, by the flip of a coin, Tobias became the designated run man, which meant that he'd ultimately miss part of the game. It was a minor upset, but the day took a turn for the worst when frenzied and in a hurry, he hugged a corner too tight, the side of his truck slamming into a light pole that horribly massacred his headlight.
Thankfully that was the only injury, but he couldn't have risked driving around with a broken headlight, not with the three outstanding tickets he already had in his name. So he parked in the lot of a nearby Target and figured he'd buy a new headlight and forego the snacks and beer.
While walking to the entrance, Tobias pulled his phone out of his pocket when he heard it ringing.
"What in the world is taking you so long? You're missing the game!" Zeke taunted on the other end of the line.
"There was this stupid pole in my way," Tobias grumbled. "I slammed right into it."
"In the middle of the road? I think not. I think the pole was just sitting on the side of the road minding its own business when you crashed into it."
"Whatever, Zeke," Tobias replied, smiling despite his frustration. "Either way, my headlight is done for. I don't know what you guys are gonna do but I doubt I have enough money to buy that and snacks." Closing his eyes and letting out a breath, Tobias prepared himself for Zeke's protest.
Tris, on the other hand, was having the perfect day.
She had just heard that her best friend Christina was arriving a few days early from New York, and had gone to the nearest department store to buy chocolate and pancake batter and all the things she knew her best friend loved to eat.
Also on the phone and with a bag of sugary treats in her hand, Tris had been gleefully headed through the same door.
"I know! I'm so excited too! I can't believe you're already here! I'm just about to leave the store and then I'll head to the airport. I have so much to tell-" But she couldn't finish her sentence when her phone fell from her hand onto the hard concrete as Tobias suddenly slammed into her head on. He was strong and twice her size, and Tris was lucky Tobias had grabbed onto her arm to steady her. Lest she would have suffered a fate not too different from her cell phone's.
Embarrassed, Tobias had quickly reached down to retrieve the phone. "I am so sorry, I was talking to my friend. I should've looked where I was going," he had apologized.
Seemingly unbothered, Tris gently took the phone from his hand and examined it. "Thankfully it's not cracked," she'd said.
Tobias had held his breath for a minute, wondering if this girl was being serious. The phone didn't appear to be old or cheap, and it was entirely his fault that it had fallen. Tris had seen the concern in his eyes apart from the beautiful color in them. She also didn't miss his brown hair and the way his nose was slightly hooked. He was also so much taller than she was that Tris wondered if he was a model. After all, Tobias was handsome. Really handsome.
Little did she know that while she had been taking him in, he was just as absorbed in her. Tobias' eyes had trailed down the length of her long, blonde hair and then came back up to meet her blue eyes. To him, Tris was unlike any other girl he'd ever met. There was no makeup on her face, a cute graphic-tee covering up her cleavage and a pair of sweatpants where most girls would have worn shorts or tight jeans. She wasn't the sort of plastic beautiful that Tobias was used to. She was in her natural element, but still, like the sun, she radiated.
"I'm really sorry… again," Tobias had said, still unable to break his eyes away from this beautiful anomaly.
"It's fine, really," Tris had insisted with a nod and a smile. "No harm, no foul, right?" She glanced away nervously as she took the first step, but Tobias couldn't bear to watch her walk away. He took a quick step to her side.
"Hey, wait. Um…" he stumbled over his words, but knowing that he couldn't dare waste this opportunity given by a comical twist of fate, he summoned every bit of bravery that lived inside him. "Let me make it up to you. I'd love to buy you coffee sometime." Tobias was practically trembling in his shoes. Since he was always the one being pursued by the opposite sex and not the other way around, he had never done something like this before and he immediately started to question his sanity. But to his sweet delight, Tris had smiled at him, a sincere smile. She had seemed surprised at his offer. Surprised, but contented.
"Yeah, sure. I'd like that," she had said. "I have to be somewhere right now but here's my number." Tris then took Tobias' phone from his hand and typed in her number before smiling and walking away. His eyes following her until she was just a dot in the distance, Tobias knew it was the start of something exceptional, he'd felt it deep inside that part of his heart he hadn't known existed.
At first glance, one would have thought they were an unlikely pair. Tobias was serious and some thought him to be a pessimist, while Tris always had a bounce in her step, looking for the bright side of every situation. But after that day, it was their differences that drew them to each other, like two halves of a broken whole that joined perfectly at the edges.
The truth is, Tris completed him, and he would be an absolute mess without her. And life would never let him forget it. Times like these were when he felt it most. Times like these when he realized that life could snatch the single most precious person in his life away from him at any moment. He'd be damned if he ever let life itself take his wife away from him.
Finally having arrived at the hospital, Tobias parked in the first available spot, not caring for a second if it were reserved for even the CEO. The truck didn't come to a stop soon enough, and Tobias jerked the keys out violently just as he pushed the door open. The second his feet landed on the concrete, his long legs raced to the front entrance and past two protesting security guards.
He'd never been inside this hospital before, so he scurried around frantically as he looked for a familiar face, or anyone who'd be able to tell him where Tris was. When his eyes came up on the information desk, Tobias stormed in front of it, and without so much as a hello, he practically yelled, "I'm looking for my wife, Beatrice Eaton," at the poor clerk.
She glanced up at him composedly, obviously having been accustomed to frantic people in search of their sick or wounded family members. She nodded and repeated the name under her breath as she turned toward her computer. The woman typed much too slowly and Tobias' patience wore thin as she stared blankly at the screen for far too long.
Just as Tobias was about to push her out the way so that he could search the computer himself, the woman said, "Beatrice Eaton is in exam room four, Sir. But-" and that's all he needed to hear. Tobias took off, ignoring the high pitched, "Sir!" that followed behind him. Determined, Tobias only sped forward, following the arrows on the wall that pointed to the exam rooms; to Tris.
He followed them all the way to his destination, but a man in a white coat caught sight of Tobias and rushed to stop him just as he was about to slide the doors open. But even the world's highest wall couldn't keep Tobias from getting to his wife. He scowled angrily at the doctor, practically threatening him.
"I want to see her now," Tobias growled at him. "She's my wife, dammit."
"And you will, Sir," the doctor said calmly. "But there's something you need to know before you do."
Tobias only shook his head. He didn't need to know anything, because there wasn't anything in this world that could possibly change the way he adored his wife. Whatever it was, whatever Tris had suffered in that accident, they would get through it together so long as she was alive. All that mattered to him was that she was alive.
"Your wife suffered a significant blow to the head," the doctor continued to say, ignoring Tobias' obvious desperation to get inside that room. "And she is having difficulty recalling her most recent memories. It's called retrograde amnesia." Tobias' hand fell from the door and he began to listen intently. "Beatrice does recall some things. She remembers her parents, for example, but she also thinks it's 2012."
Tobias' face immediately fell, knowing full well that he and Tris had only met the year after that.
"I'm sorry, Mr. Eaton. But your wife may not remember who you are," the doctor needlessly said, confirming Tobias' fears. Had Tris lost a leg or both, Tobias would have carried her around himself if need be. If she had gone blind or become deaf, he would have happily satisfied her remaining senses. But Tobias wondered how he could possibly strive for Tris' happiness if she didn't know who he was? Would she even let him?
Tobias' head burned with questions about Tris' diagnosis and how long this would last, but he dared not ask. Besides, he didn't want to hear a long speech full of medical terminology that he'd barely understand anyway. He only wanted, then more than ever, to have her close to him.
"And the other driver?" Tobias asked, his fists clenching. He thought that maybe if he had someone to blame, somewhere to direct his anger, it would help him to better make sense of the other emotions flooding him.
"Thankfully no one else was hurt," the doctor answered. "A witness says there was a deer in the road and your wife swerved out of its path. She missed the deer but she hit a tree head on."
Tobias held his head but he nodded. The story was most likely true considering how much Tris loved animals. He relaxed, since it would be ridiculous being angry at a deer.
The doctor gave him a look, one that asked if he had any more questions or if he was ready to go inside. Tobias simply nodded and took in a breath, his heart racing inside his chest.
Strong, but frightened for the first time in a long time, Tobias stepped into the small, quiet room.
Tris didn't hesitate to look up; she had been expecting him. Her parents had told her about him and she had laughed, suggesting that she would most certainly remember having gotten married. But even if she didn't believe it then, she believed it the moment she saw him. Because as their eyes met, Tris was completely unable to deny the soul-deep pain that exuded from Tobias' eyes, and somehow she knew it was because of her.
She noticed everything about him; the way his dark hair curled at its longest portions, the way his ears stuck out just the tiniest bit, and the sweet fullness of his lower lip. And for far too long she just stared at the man she could almost swear she knew yet didn't. He was breathtaking, tall and handsome, his only flaw being the sadness in his beautiful dark blue eyes.
"Are you Tobias?" she eventually asked him. Tobias' heart broke at the question. He was almost hoping that the doctors were wrong, or that Tris would see him and her memories of their life together would all come back to her in a flash.
"Yes," Tobias replied softly as he took a step closer.
Tris studied him under the white hospital lighting, wondering why such a strong and flawless looking man would ever be interested in her, much less marry her. Her eyes followed Tobias as he slowly took a seat in the chair beside her bed.
After he sat, his hands dangled idly in his lap, and he longed to lock his fingers with Tris', but he was afraid to make her uncomfortable. She didn't know him, after all.
"I'm sorry I don't remember you," she said to him when he couldn't seem to say anything at all. It wasn't an empty apology. Seeing him hurt had tugged at Tris' heart in all the wrong ways. And even without remembering who he was, Tris could tell there was a part of her that cared deeply for this man; loved him even. It broke her own heart as her brain grasped for memories of him but only drew blanks.
"I'm just glad you're ok," Tobias said sincerely. This time he did take her hand, not to comfort her, but to comfort himself, to feel her warmth against his skin. The feel of her soft, sweet touch spoke to his soul, a deep reminder that it could have been worse, that he could have lost her forever, and it calmed him even if only just for a second.
He scanned her face with his eyes, taking in the large white bandage wrapped around her head and the small cuts on her left cheek. He prayed that she wasn't in pain.
"Do you remember what happened, Tris?" Tobias asked softly. He rubbed his thumb against her knuckles. The feeling was strange for Tris, but for some reason she couldn't pull her hand away. For some reason, she wanted him to touch her.
"I was driving," she answered without looking at Tobias. "But I don't remember where I was going or where I was coming from. Just that everything went black all of a sudden."
Frustrated with her own self, Tris dug her fingers through her hair as if trying to force the memory out of her head. Tobias suddenly felt stupid for having asked his memory-less wife what she remembered.
"Oh my god, did I hit someone?" Tris then asked exasperatedly, finally looking at the man she'd been told was her husband. She squeezed on Tobias' hand.
"No, you didn't," he assured her, setting his other hand on top hers. "You hit a tree."
Tris relaxed a little, and Tobias admired the way even though she remembered nothing, she was still the same selfless Tris who would worry more about a stranger than she would herself. It made him hopeful because all that meant was that she was in there somewhere.
Suddenly, there was a knock on the door, and Natalie, Tris' mother, appeared. She was holding a cup of coffee in her hands, but she was quick to set it down and pull Tobias from the chair into a hug. Natalie had always admired her son in law and the way he loved and did right by her daughter.
"Oh, Tobias," she cried into his ear. "I didn't know you were here already. I wanted to see you first before you came in."
Tris looked on a bit confused as the two held on to each other. She'd never seen her mother make physical contact with any man except her father.
Seeing the uncertainty in her daughter's eyes, Natalie let go of Tobias and took the chair by her bedside. Then, feeling a bit out of place, Tobias decided to leave the room. It wasn't that he didn't want to be by Tris' side, but she didn't remember him. She remembered her mother, so in that moment, that is who she needed.
Tobias walked around in circles in the waiting area just outside Tris' room. His thoughts were dark and desperate, and all the things he thought he'd finally gotten rid of after having met Tris. He was devoured by his thoughts, left alone with them as they swarmed his head like bees. They were unrelenting: the thoughts of Tris not ever remembering him, not ever loving him anymore. And then came the thoughts of her leaving him, the one thing he made her swear she'd never do.
He cursed at himself, blaming himself like he always did when something went wrong. 'I should have gotten here sooner', he thought to himself, like if him answering the phone on the first ring instead of on the tenth and arriving thirty minutes earlier could have stopped the accident that happened an hour before that.
"Tobias," Natalie said, having appeared out of nowhere. She set a comforting hand on Tobias' shoulder, breaking him from the nightmare inside his head. He was so deep in it that he didn't even hear when she stepped out the room. "Don't do this to yourself," she urged him, knowing him all too well. "Just give it time. She's willing to try."
Tobias spun around to look at his mother in law. He knew without a doubt she had asked Tris to give him a chance, and Tris, trusting her mother to the grave, would never disagree with anything she suggested. Grateful, he embraced her and whispered, "Thank you, Natalie," in her ear. Natalie only smiled. She was a humble woman, a trait she had passed on to her daughter, and Tobias admired her for it. Truth is he admired Natalie just as much as she admired him.
With Natalie urging him into the room, Tobias re-entered. He found Tris staring at the doorway, almost as if waiting for him to come back inside. She very well might have been.
Nervously, Tobias walked to her bedside. He stared into her eyes for a hint or a clue of what he was to do or say. Seeing and somehow understanding the look in his eyes, Tris said to him, "Sit down, Tobias. Please."
Albeit unknown to Tobias, Tris hadn't needed much convincing from her mother to give him a chance. She wanted to know this man. She wanted to remember every second she spent with him. She yearned for him because although her mind didn't recognize him, every other part of her body did. Even her fingers had recognized his touch when he held her hand.
"Do we have kids?" she decided to ask him, although she imagined they didn't. Her mother would have told her by now.
Tobias smiled nervously. "Not yet," he answered. "But I'm hoping we will one day soon."
"Why haven't we yet? How long have we been married?" Tris asked, genuinely confused. Unlike Tobias who had only grown to love the idea of children after having married Tris, she had always wanted children.
"We've been married for five years, but together for nine, known each other for ten," Tobias explained.
Tris' eyes widened. Had she really entered a relationship with him after only a year of knowing him? That was unlike her. Yes, she believed in love, but she also believed that love took time and wasn't the type to chase after romances. What she didn't remember is that she and Tobias took to each other like moths to a flame. It wasn't long before they both realized that ordinary friendship would never be enough for them.
"And we're actually trying right now," Tobias continued to answer her question. "It just hasn't happened yet."
Tris nodded. "How did we meet?" She then asked, curious. Tobias smiled at the memory, and Tris listened intently as he told her the tale of his broken headlight and her quest for snacks. And for the next hour or two that passed, Tris asked him question after question, curious to learn about their life together while also becoming impressed at how well Tobias knew her.
It wasn't long before visiting hours were over, and only one family member would be allowed to stay with Tris in the hospital room. Tobias imagined that Natalie, being the woman she was, would insist he be the one who stayed. And of course he would have, but Tobias knew that long hospital nights alone with Tris would never be enough for him. He wanted to take her home.
Tris would not be discharged for another few days, after having been cleared by her attending physicians. But Tobias wanted to prepare himself for it; the day not too far from now when Tris most likely wouldn't choose him.
"I imagine you'd want to go home with your parents," Tobias said, staring at his shoes. He wasn't happy about this but he understood. As much as he wanted his wife beside him in their bed at night, he couldn't forget the fact that to Tris he was a stranger. Sleeping beside him certainly wouldn't be the most comfortable thing in the world.
But although Tris didn't remember him, she felt more than just at ease in his presence. More than just being comfortable with him, she felt as though it was where she belonged, and even just the thought of being separated from Tobias made her start to panic.
"No," she said to him, shaking her head frantically. "The doctors suggested it would be better if I just continue my normal life… with you. It might help to trigger my memories. So I'd like to go home with you… If that's ok."
Tobias' eyes searched hers desperately. He knew how much he had wanted to hear her say those words and he had to be absolutely sure that he hadn't imagined it. He saw only honesty when he looked at her, and flooded with relief, his hand found her face, cupping it, and he said, "Of course it is, Tris." He'd never wanted to kiss her more than he did in that very moment.
Pressing her cheek into his palm, Tris smiled, grateful. Because in her heart she knew she wanted to remember him as desperately as he wanted her to.
The drive home was full of long and awkward pauses that they both wish weren't there. Tobias had tried to initiate conversation a few times, but to no avail. It's not that Tris didn't want to talk, because she did. She just felt so lost inside her own head as she ransacked her brain for memories. And it had unsettled her hearing Tobias recount the past to her, even though she was the one who had asked him to. And every now and again she'd question her sanity; she was going home with a man she only knew was her husband because that's what she was told. But her worry never lasted for more than a moment. More than the fact that her parents would never lie to her, Tris could feel it in her bones that she loved this man. She didn't miss the way her fingers were inclined to touch his for no reason, like they had missed them.
"Are you feeling ok?" Tobias asked for the millionth time. He needed to be certain that Tris was ok with going home with him before he could completely be ok with it, as much as he wanted it.
Tris looked over to him and smiled a little. She nodded and said yes, but as usual, she didn't say much else afterward.
"Daisy's going to be excited to see you," Tobias chipped in again. "I told you about her, right?" He asked when he saw the confusion on Tris' face. "She's big and black, with thick curly fur and big ears. We got her when she was a puppy. We found her abandoned in a park and you insisted on bringing her home. She likes you way more than me, but I still love her anyway." Tobias smiled and Tris just shook her head, frustrated that she couldn't even remember her own dog.
As they drove, the closer they got to home, the more nervous they both became. Tris knew she wanted to be with Tobias rather than with her parents, but she still felt a bit uneasy around him. A lot of it was because she was afraid he was hoping for the old Tris, a Tris she doesn't remember how to be. She was afraid she would disappoint him.
Tobias saw the sadness in her eyes and couldn't help but ask, "Is there anything else you want to know before we get home? Does me answering questions help jog your memory at all?"
Tris sighed. "Honestly, it only makes me more frustrated that I can't remember any of the things you're telling me." At the sight of Tris' eyes watering, Tobias decided maybe it was better to stop talking. As difficult as it was for him, he couldn't imagine what she was feeling, and rather than say the wrong thing, he chose to not say anything at all.
Tris was grateful for it. The last thing she wanted was Tobias feeling sorry for her. And as frustrated as she was, she had no intention of giving up.
"What was our first date like?" Tris asked.
Tobias was surprised that she still wanted to continue, but he nodded, not taking his eyes off the road. "Well, we hung out a few days after we first met. I texted you first and we agreed to meet for coffee. It was nice. So nice, in fact, that I broke my rule about never calling back first because I absolutely had to hear your voice before I went to bed that night." Tobias smiled sweetly at the memory. "We met up almost every day for the next month or so, just as friends, but our first official date after finally getting together was at the movies. I honestly can't tell you which one or what it was about because I was staring at you the whole time." Tobias smiled again, remembering quite well how lucky he had felt that night that Tris was finally his.
His mind drifted to the night he proposed. But he decided to keep that memory to himself, not wanting to reveal anything Tris wasn't ready to hear about yet.
Tris smiled back at him almost longingly, wishing she could remember him the way he remembered her.
It wasn't long before they pulled into the driveway of the home they had bought together. Tobias was hoping that maybe the sight of the house that Tris had picked out herself would bring something back to her. But he knew there was nothing as he watched her stare blankly at the tall white structure.
He helped her with her bag as they walked inside, and just like Tobias had predicted, Daisy rushed to the front door in a flash and jumped on top of Tris. Tobias had panicked at first, afraid that Tris would have been startled, but instead, Tris began to laugh at the top of her lungs as the large dog licked her face.
"Hi Daisy! Oh my gosh, you are so cute!" Tris squealed. And just as she was about to fall over with the weight of Daisy on top of her, she reached out to Tobias who grabbed her in a quick second. And for a moment they just stood there; Tris wrapped in Tobias' arms and the dog between them.
He didn't want to let go. It reminded him too much of how things used to be. So he didn't, and Tris never asked him to. It was Daisy who finally got enough of the hug and scrambled off, leaving them both standing there.
"She seems sweet," is all Tris said with a smile.
"She is," Tobias replied. "She definitely missed you. She went upstairs and still hasn't even said hello to me yet. Although, that's usually how it goes anyway." Tobias smiled handsomely and Tris couldn't help but blush.
Trying to hide her reaction, she quickly said, "Can you show me the rest of the house?"
"Of course."
Tobias took his time, making sure she knew where everything was. He knew that feeling lost inside her own house would only frustrate her further. He even showed her the backyard and told her that Zeke and his brother would come over sometimes on Sundays and they'd ramp like children. Of course, after that, he had to explain who Zeke was.
Tris listened intently as Tobias explained how they usually spend their mornings and evenings when they weren't at work. Daisy found them again, following them around the house and nudging at Tris' feet every so often to get her to stop and pet her.
"Are you hungry?" Tobias eventually asked. They had been driving for a while and he knew the hospital breakfast couldn't have been much. "There's food in the fridge or maybe I could order something if you'd like."
At the moment, she craved nothing in particular, so she asked, "What do I usually like?"
Tobias laughed at her question. He had always been amazed at her ability to eat whatever she wanted and stay thin. "Just about everything," he answered her. He walked her to the fridge and opening it, he pulled out several small containers of food. "There's Indian food, some Chinese here, pasta, and some leftover burger meat."
"Do we buy take-out a lot?" She asked him curiously. Tris couldn't imagine herself eating like that every day.
"No," Tobias quickly clarified. "We usually cook at home, but this weekend the guys came over and when that happens we usually buy take out so they don't eat out all our food."
Tris laughed at how serious Tobias was when he said this. She didn't remember his friends, but she could just imagine how much fun they were. Smiling, Tris picked up the container with orange chicken and broccoli and said, "This one."
Both had decided that maybe it was better they stayed home for the rest of the day. Tris was still getting used to the house, after all. And even though it was a rather uneventful day, both were incredibly tired at the end of it.
"So…," Tobias began as they sat up eating dinner in the couch. "I can sleep on the couch if you're not comfortable sleeping in bed with me." He tried to hide the fear in his voice. As understanding as he was to Tris' situation, he was still very vulnerable and afraid that his wife would reject him. Truthfully, Tris didn't mind at all sleeping beside him. She just didn't think it would be fair to him considering the things she imagined they'd done in bed together before the accident happened.
"That would be nice," she answered gently. "Even if just for a few nights, until we get to know each other a little better." She made sure not to say until I get memories back. She had had such a great time with Tobias that she couldn't deny it to herself; whether or not she ever remembered him, she wanted to be with him. "I had a great time today," she adds. "You've been amazing, Tobias… and considerate."
Tobias smiled at her. How could he not have been? Ever since the day he met her, all Tris had ever done was brought out the good in him. She had made him discover the warmer parts of his heart that he never knew existed. And throughout their marriage Tris had yet to fail him. She deserved every bit of kindness and consideration that he could muster up. She was the love of his life and she deserved his best.
"Daisy is going to want to sleep in bed with you though, if that's ok," Tobias said tenderly. Tris blushed
again. She realized that she'd always turn into mush when Tobias spoke to her a certain way. She kissed him on the cheek, leaving him just a shade redder than how he had left her, and said, "Goodnight, Tobias." She stood to her feet and placed her plate in the sink. Tobias' eyes never left her as she smiled and walked up the stairs with Daisy at her feet.
"Goodnight Tris," he whispered behind her as she left. As he laid his head on the pillow, Tobias made a goodnight wish the way he always did when he was a child, and he prayed to the stars that his Tris would return to him.
The following morning, Tris woke up to the smell of bacon and eggs. She smiled as she lied down in the large, soft, and still unfamiliar bed. Truthfully, she was hoping that a night in their bed would bring back something, anything. But she was still without her memories. Perhaps because she didn't sleep well. She had passed the entire night wishing that Tobias' arms were around her.
Tris followed the delicious smell as she walked down the stairs. Tobias smiled as he saw her.
"Good morning. I made breakfast," he said.
"I can see that," Tris answered him with a giggle just loud enough to melt his heart.
"You made breakfast last week so now it's my turn," Tobias answered. "You typically just eat eggs and toast with bacon, so I kept it simple today. Do you want coffee?"
"Yes please," Tris smiled as she sat around the table. She couldn't help but stare at Tobias and smile. His back was turned so he couldn't see her, but Tobias somehow felt his Tris in the room. He turned around quickly, catching her off guard, and he smiled right back at her when he caught her beautiful eyes staring at him.
As he set down her coffee and breakfast in front of her, Tobias said, "I hope you don't mind, but I spent most of the night planning out our week. I got us both time off from work, so we don't have to worry about that. But I want us to get into our old habits because I feel it might help you start to remember more. I hope it's not too much for you, I just think we should be trying everything we can to try and get your memories back."
Tris nodded quickly. She was not going to disagree with that at all. Every part of her wanted to remember Tobias. "So what are we going to do today?" she asked as she took the first bite of her toast.
It proved to be a difficult week.
Every morning, like they always did, Tris and Tobias took Daisy out for a walk and then spend the morning in the park. They'd then pass the afternoon visiting a friend or going to at least one place that was of significance to them. And at night they'd watch Tris' favorite movies or American football together. One night they had even frightened poor Daisy as they screamed and cheered for opposing teams. Tobias loved it. It was like having Tris back if even just for a moment. And it had all been fun at first, until it drew closer and closer to the end of the week and Tris was nowhere closer to remembering anything.
No one had given them a deadline, but they both knew that the more time that passed, the less likely it was that Tris would ever remember anything at all.
Tobias fought off the discouragement. Even though Tris hadn't remembered him as yet, she still seemed to be enjoying herself with him. It helped to calm his worst fear that Tris would be unhappy with him and one day leave. And he wasn't about to give up the love of his life without a fight. So the following morning, as hard it was, he did it all over again.
He and Daisy waited for Tris by the front door.
"Who's ready to go the park?" Tris sung to Daisy as she rubbed her. Although she didn't remember the dog, she had fallen in love with her rather quickly.
"I'd certainly love some fresh air," Tobias answered. Then he put on Daisy's harness before they all head out the door.
Tris had come to love the routine. She had come to enjoy every second with Tobias and Daisy. Even memoryless, she was happy. Tobias made her happy. He made their home feel like home when it shouldn't have since she had remembered nothing about him or their old life.
It wasn't just the cold air that made Tris brave enough to take Tobias' hand and pull him closer to her as they walked; she was prepared for the Chicago air, wearing long sleeves and jeans. Instead, it was that warm feeling she felt in her chest every time he was near her, like someone had lit a match in her heart; she wanted to feel it again.
She felt alive when she touched Tobias. She felt the urge to run and jump and scream and laugh.
Tobias was surprised when Tris held on to him, but he only smiled and pulled her closer.
"Do I like cold weather?" Tris looked up at him and asked as Daisy walked in front of them.
"You love cold weather," he smiled. "You're always so happy when autumn comes around. Is that why you're smiling so wide?" He teased. He hoped that the answer was yes. Even if she didn't remember that she loved this sort of weather, she obviously still loved it. Which, in turn, meant that even though she didn't remember who she was, deep down she was still Tris.
Tris nodded and she and Daisy ran ahead, both jumping into a giant pile of leaves. Tobias laughed as they played in it, and he was quick to join them, wrestling with Daisy in the leaves.
Suddenly, it caught Tris by a surprise- a memory.
"Tobias!" she called out his name. "I think I remember something! I remember one time when Daisy was still a puppy. We had taken her to my parent's house in Michigan to visit for a week or so. Back then I had hated the cold but one day on while we were walking I slipped into a pile of leaves, just like this one, and I screamed but you jumped in after me. And you kept throwing leaves at me with your goofy smile, and I fell in love with autumn just like I fell in love with you."
Tobias' eyes opened wide. He remembered that day just as clearly if not clearer. Before that day, Tris would rarely leave the house during autumn and winter. She'd stay in the couch near the fireplace, curled up in a ball and covered in blankets with Daisy at her feet. That day had changed everything; he couldn't get Tris inside after that.
"You finally remember something, Tris!" Tobias almost shouted as he grabbed her. He couldn't help himself, and with tears in his eyes he pulled her into him. He held her close and kissed her hair over and over again as Tris squealed in his arms. Finally, she melted into him, warm and muscular, and even though it was just one memory, it was enough to confirm what she always knew; she was hopelessly in love with Tobias.
Jealous, Daisy jumped onto them so they pull apart, laughing and slightly embarrassed. They continued walking through the park, only then, they held each other that much closer.
The next few weeks didn't surrender any new memories, but Tris and Tobias continued their daily routine until it was time to return to work. Much wasn't expected of Tris at work, especially since she didn't remember what she used to do there. Truthfully, her boss had only taken her back as a means of helping her reincorporate into her old life. Everybody at the office loved Tris and would do anything to help her regain her memories. Tobias had returned to work as well and it was now mostly nights and weekends that the two had to spend together.
They had become closer, many times locked in an embrace as they fell asleep on the couch with the movie still on. Tobias continued to tell Tris stories about their life together, but it no longer frustrated her because she could tell it no longer frustrated him. Tris could see in his eyes when he looked at her that all he wanted was her, regardless of whether or not she had remembered him. He loved her either way and her happiness brought him joy.
Tris loved how selfless Tobias was, and she loved him even more now because of it. It was then she decided that she wouldn't wait for her memories anymore because truthfully she might never get them all back. She knew the most important thing of all, which is that Tobias loved her and she loved him, and they needed nothing else to complete them.
That night, before Tobias could crawl into the couch, Tris invited him to bed. He was hesitant at first, not wanting to seem too anxious to get into bed with her. He did want her to lay by his side, but he didn't wish to have her think he expected more than that.
"Are you sure?" he asked Tris as he finished his dinner and set his plate down in the sink.
"Yes," Tris nodded. "I don't want you to sleep on the couch anymore… I'm ready." Her voice was soft but determined.
Ready for what exactly, Tobias wasn't certain. But he wouldn't turn down the offer for anything in the world. He wanted his bed back, and more than that he wanted his wife back. He wanted to fall asleep with her in his arms, with the scent of her hair on his nose. And although he never said it, his back was aching for having slept on that hard couch for a month.
Tris' heart pounded with nerves and excitement as they both climbed in. Tobias was just thankful; he missed his wife more than he had ever missed anything in his life. As she pressed into him, Tobias pulled her closer, her back flush against his bare chest. He wrapped his arms tight around her and buried his nose in the crook of her neck. He took in her scent the way she took in his. They were intoxicating each other until both their hearts were racing with want and need.
Bravery suddenly filling her small body, Tris squirmed in his arms as she turned her head, leaning into him for a kiss. Tobias pressed a hand to her soft, warm cheek as their lips met, and he held her there as he kissed her back. He had thoroughly missed the feeling of her lips on his, and he was reluctant to ever let her pull away. And when it was over, it was too quickly.
Tris looked deep into his eyes before saying goodnight, and she snuggled back against his chest before they both fell asleep.
Tris had missed the warmth of his chest when she woke up alone in bed.
It was difficult for Tobias to leave her there. He almost didn't when he woke up and saw her. She had turned over in her sleep, her beautiful face toward him as she slept. He had stayed in bed watching her for a while, tracing her features lightly. But Daisy was whining from hunger at the bedside and Tobias couldn't ignore her for too long.
Tris stretched out a little before rolling over into Tobias' side of the bed. She took a deep breath of him and that's when she felt the second shock of a memory. It took her so much by surprise that she fell off the bed with a thud, and it wasn't long before Tobias and Daisy came running up the stairs to her rescue.
"Is everything alright, Tris?" Tobias asked as he walked in, finding Tris climbing back into the bed. Daisy rushed into the bed with her. Tris nodded before explaining what she remembered. It was the memory of a day when Tobias had been sick and Tris forced him to miss work. They had spent the day in bed mostly, eating soup and watching movies.
Tobias smiled. "At this rate you'll remember everything by the time you're 85," he teased.
Tris laughed at her husband as she grabbed him and pulled him into the bed with her. She always appreciated his weak jokes and poor attempts at making her feel better. It had been a month since her last memory, and Tris had started to become anxious. But as she laid there with her husband in her arms and Daisy curdled into a ball at their feet, Tris realized for the first time what Tobias had known all along; what had made him so patient all this time even when she showed no signs of ever remembering anything at all.
"Maybe I don't need to remember the past," Tris began. "Maybe we can make new memories. The past is the past and I'm sure it was great, but it's gone now. I love you, Tobias. I know that. You love me too and you know that and I know that. I don't need my memories to know that I want to be with you for the rest of my life." Tris cradled Tobias' face with her hands. "Maybe in time everything will come back to me, but for now I just want to be here with you. I want to travel with you, I want to have children with you, I want to have a life with you. I don't want to live in the shadow of the past, because we're not there. We're here, now."
Agreeing with every fibre of his being, Tobias quickly took Tris' lips with his own and kissed her with a fierceness that he had held back for so long. But not anymore. They pressed against each other, kissing each other breathless, knowing in their hearts that they'd never need anything else but each other.
This was their love story, their story of tragedy and loss but of hope and continuance. Some may say they failed because Tris, in the end, never retrieved all the memories of her beloved husband. But who is to say that falling in love all over again was not their greatest success? Love was their prize and it was strong enough to withstand even Amnesia.
