Greetings, all! I, the intrepid Shenrezade have expanded my styles into yet another area of the realm of Fanfiction.net. What follows is a story of epic adventure, romance, thrills, chills, and other giant adverbs!
*A little purple imp flies up to Shen* Yeah, you might wanna rethink that last statement there.
… What did you do Gobano?
Gobano: I flushed your data disc down the toilet. The codebook for being evil dictates I find new and experimental ways to drive you to the brink of chaos. MWAHAHAHAHHHHH!!!!
You are the worst muse EVER!!!
Gobano: Stop, you're making me all flustered.
Well, thanks to my sadistic muse, that last story was lost to the foul depths of the sewers. So in the sprit of moving things along to wherever the heck they're going I present to you this Kim Possible Story I made up about five seconds ago.
Gobano: Isn't that a Disney cartoon?
Yes Gobano, it is.
Gobano: Disney…. How I LOATHE THEM!!! When plunge this world into the abyssal depths of chaos THEY WILL BE THE FIRST TO BE BLASTED TO A FIRERY DOOMY DOOM!!!!
Whatever. Enjoy.
In the area of San Francisco, at the Institute for Archeology and ancient ruins, a black clad form silently crept along the roof of the building and down the side, coming to rest at the third story window. Pulling out a small metal object from beneath his robes, he carefully cut the glass along the bottom of the window, reaching in to keep it from falling and setting off the sound alarms. Reaching in and unlatching the barrier that hindered him, the silent figure slowly pulled the glass up, allowing him entry into the museum.
Padding along silently as was possible, the intruder infiltrated the institute in search of a particular item, passing by things that would be much more expensive in the black market. What he sought was an ancient artifact in particular that he learned would be here for this week before it went on tour to museums around the world. After realizing it was actually here, he determined he had to get it tonight, while the security was lax.
It was just as he had slipped through the main display room of the third floor and through two hallways that he found the office where it was kept. Pulling out a lock pick from his belt, he swiftly jiggled it in the door before he was rewarded with a soft click. Smiling underneath his mask, the black-clad form opened the office door and entered, closing it behind him.
There it was. Sitting on the desk like a paperweight on small pedestal, was the mystical monkey flute. It was, in a word, beautiful. Carved out of an ancient bamboo tree, and dipped in a ceremonial stream with magical properties, the flute had seven holes and a wide opening at the end, with a slender mouthpiece. While it was called a flute, it more closely resembled a miniature clarinet. Ah well, names really didn't matter with something like this. Only the power the instrument wielded did. Shaking off the initial awe he felt at beholding such a sacred relic, the figure advanced slowly in reverence, his hands trembling in anticipation ever so slightly as he was about to grasp the flute.
Just then the wall beside him exploded with a resounding BOOM!!! The thief was thrown back into the wall, stars blinking in his skull. Looking up, he beheld two figures entering into the office building, the alarms suddenly blaring to life. Curses! All his hard work and then this had to happen!! Shaking his head to clear the cobwebs, he looked to see who the two newcomers were. One was a rather tall man in a blue suit with a lighter shade of blue skin, with a scar across one cheek and his oily black hair tied back in a pony tail. The other was a female with pale olive skin and jet black flowing hair, with a green and black jumpsuit on.
"Alarms!?" the blue one exclaimed in a rather obnoxious voice. "Why didn't you tell me there were alarms here Shego!? I expect to be better informed than this, missy!"
The female, Shego, crossed her arms and glared at the Blue man. "Well gee, Dr. Drakken. I assumed that maybe you knew that there'd be an alarm system in a museum." She replied in a sarcastic manner. "You know, there being valuable stuff in them, and all.
The blue-skinned man, Drakken, placed his fists on his hips. "Regardless, this is your fault Shego. Now we have guards on the way!"
The female bristled dangerously. "MY fault!?" she exclaimed outrageously. "You're the one who blasted through the wall! If we had done it the way I wanted-"
Drakken gave an exasperated snort, cutting her off. "Oh please. Your method takes minutes to accomplish. We'd be here forever waiting for you to get in and get this flute."
The ninja's ears perked up a bit at that. They were after the flute too?
"Maybe my way takes longer, but at least then we wouldn't have to worry about any ALARMS, now would we!?" Shego retorted.
"Oh whatever," Drakken said. "Just get the flute and let's go." Shego stalked over to the desk and made ready to snatch the instrument as Drakken sat tapping his foot impatiently. The figure decided he had had quite enough of this. Leaping up, he flew directly in between the girl and the flute.
"I think that you should reconsider your current course of action, my dear," he said in a regal, but nonetheless dangerous tone.
Shego took a small step backward and gave the ninja a puzzled look. Clearly she wasn't expecting this. Drakken, who had also taken notice of the newcomer, looked rather displeased. "And just who are you?" He demanded.
The ninja shifted his gaze to the clearly mad scientist. "So good of you to ask." He replied. Pulling off his mask, he revealed a slightly tanned face with slightly ruffed black hair and black bags under his eyes, which gave him a rather nasty look. "Lord Monty Fiske, at your service. You, however, may call me "Monkey Fist." He said, finishing with a flourish.
Shego and Drakken just stared at him with befuddled looks. Drakken looked at Shego, who merely shrugged in response. "Well, Monkey Fist," Drakken said, stepping forward slightly. "We've come for that whistle."
"Flute," Monkey Fist corrected.
"Actually, it looks more like a clarinet…" Shego interjected.
"Whatever!!" Drakken bellowed. "I want that whatever it is, and you'd better stay out of my way, or else!!"
"Or else what?" Monkey Fist asked, clearly unruffled by Drakken's threat.
Lowering his eyes, Drakken pointed toward the ninja. "Shego!" he yelled.
"I'm on it, Dr. D." The female replied, her hands lighting up with an eerie green glow."
Laughing slightly, he then snapped his fingers and cried "Monkey Ninjas ATTACK!!!!"
The other two stared blankly for a moment, and then began laughing hysterically. "AHAHAHAH!!!" Drakken guffawed. "Monkey ninjas! That's a good one!" His laughter was cut short when a group of small forms clad in ninja garb flew at him from all sides. "AHHHH!!!!" the doctor yelled. "Shego, get them off me!! They smell like sweaty gym socks!! ARRRGGHH!!!"
Shego quickly threw herself at the Doctor, batting away the yammering monkeys. "This job gets weirder every day," she commented to herself. As she continued to swat away the ninjitsu simians, Monkey Fist took the opportunity to swipe the monkey flute from the desk. Having retrieved his prize, the ninja lord quickly called off his assault.
"Monkey Ninjas, to me!!" he called. The apes quickly flipped to their master, having served their purpose. "So sorry you couldn't get what you came for, but this is really mine by right." He mocked, tapping one end of the flute lightly in his palm. "Farewell for now. Better luck next time!" And with that he threw down a smoke pellet which clouded the entire room, allowing he and his monkey minions a quick escape.
Drakken and Shego were left in a slight coughing fit. Drakken was none too happy with the outcome of things. "He got away with my flute!!" the mad doctor exclaimed, still coughing. "And he used a smokescreen exit! I hate that ninja cliché!! It's so… B-movie material!!"
Gobano, are you aware that when you flushed my disk down the toilet, you'd clog it?
Gobano: Yeh-esss!
And did you know that it would back up and flood my bathroom?
Gobano: Yeh-ess!
And that it would, in turn, flood the entire apartment/account/whatever, thus making everything smell like raw sewage?!
Gobano: Yeh-ess!
I hate you with an unbridled passion reserved for politicians and Disc Jockeys. I hope you know that.
Gobano: Just a little something to keep you occupied while I enact my grand scheme of subjugating the earth peoples under my NEW REGIME of UTTER AND ABSOLUTE DARKNESS!!! MWAHAHAHAHHHHH!!!!
Psychotic imp. Anyway, while I'm busy cleaning this mess up, feel free to leave a review or two. GOBANO!! COME BACK HERE WITH THE RUBBER GLOVES!! I NEED THOSE!!!
