"James? James? JAMES!"
She's shouting. The noise is pathetic. Just about as pathetic as my reasons to live.
Everything's just become so confusing lately, with these black and white pictures on my walls, stained with red. I don't know what they mean, I don't really think I want to. At least that's what I tell myself.
The woman who calls herself my mother is fussing now. Guess it must be annoying to get crimson stains on your carpet.
Mother, sure she gave birth to me fourteen years ago but, for some reason I can't help but to think that my mama died when I was very small. So why is that woman here? I doesn't really matter any more anyway.
I'm not really sure who I am any more. James, Jamie, Jim? And why do I keep expecting people to call me Alois? It's such a fancy name, I rather like it. Maybe I can slip away to the world where ants don't crawl in circles on my bedroom walls, and a man dressed in black serves me tea and addresses me as "Your Highness".
"JAMES! James, please talk to me!"
No. I don't think I will. I'm having far to much fun watching the red ribbons curl down my fingers.
How dare it abandon me so freely? Everything does that, even those who swear they won't! But, it's so beautiful...that's what he'd think. Right?
My vision's going blurry. I can barely see the pictures on the wall. They're just outlines of a face with no features, but that suites him just fine, bloody bastard never moved his face anyway. Just like I won't in a few more moments. A perfect marble statue, lies hidden behind your eyes.
"I called the ambulance, they'll be here in under a minute. Just keep talking to him."
he calls himself father.
The only person I remember calling father was some old fart. As for that ambulance? Well it'll be to late when they get here.
I can feel some one lift me into their arms. Which is strange, because I can see myself still lying delicately on the blood soaked carpet below. Wrapping my arms around the persons neck I find myself staring into butterscotch eyes.
For once you've come for me when I need you most.
My jeans are gone replaced by silk stockings and shorts, my purple hoodie now a velvet coat covering an emerald silk waist coat. You balance me on one arm and fix the large silk bow around my neck with the other. I feel less confused now, I think for once I did the right thing. And, if I didn't at least I get to be with my dark angel for a few moments before I'm swallowed by the blackness of death.
You hold me close, and I close my eyes. Do I look beautiful dyeing? I want to ask. All I ever wanted was to mean some thing to some one. To be loved.
Those people could never love me; I'm not their son. Not any more. To be truthful I never was. I can remember it clearly now; I was the son of a woman who was never married, death took her from us. My brother...death took him from me. But I won't let death take me. Instead I'll invite him in, placing the first card.
You are all I have left now. You were all I ever had after that day.
I look up at you again, I follow your caramel gaze to the floor where I'm lying. The paramedics are here now.
"How foolish." I nearly jump at the sound of your voice.
Me or them? I search your eyes for the answer.
"They think they can save a body that is no longer breathing."
Bemusement fills my eyes.
"The boy down there stopped breathing the moment you allowed me to hold you." You repeat the tell-tale habit of yours and push your glasses back up your nose.
"But," I look back down at the boy who was me; they've put him on a stretcher now. They tell the man and woman they'll do what they can. "Oh, I see."
You give me a look as if to ask 'do you?'
"My soul never ceased to belong to you because the contract was never broken or carried out. It was merely put on hiatus until I agreed that it was to continue. The moment I allowed you to take my soul the contract was restored."
A small nod.
"Claude?" I ask my head tilts to one side.
"Yes your Highness?"
"Are you going to kill me now?"
You examine my face, my ice blue eyes stare innocently up at you.
"No. I think not."
AN: Just a little drabble about Alois. I had an idea that he was re-incarnated, but because of the demon contract he still remembers fragments of his past life. In this he's snapped and can't take the confusion of all his personalities and in general his life.
Feedback is very welcomed as well as constructive criticism. ^_^
