The Gift
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Mayuri glared at the thing on his desk and gave it an experimental poke. It was basically human shaped, it was made of chocolate and held a pink card (with huge hearts drawn on it) in its hands.
"Its innards are made of red fruit jelly!" said Urahara with a proud grin. "It will bleed if you cut it!"
"And why are you giving it to me?" asked Mayuri as he poked the thing again. It was twitching slightly.
"In the World of Living it's a tradition to give sweets on Valentine's Day to your friends and loved ones," said Urahara and with a cheerful wink he added. "Maybe I like you. Who knows?"
Mayuri was dumbfounded.
"But I don't like you," he stated matter of factly. "I hate your guts!"
"You know, they say there is only a thin line between love and..."
"No, there isn't! There is actually a damn huge chasm with a wild river full of hungry crocodiles and piranhas between them!" Urahara was just about to open his mouth to disagree, but Mayuri quickly interrupted him. "And no bridges either!"
