By: Me, Emily.
Summary: It was 1942, and my life was about to change forever.
Disclaimer: I do not own these characters. I simply use them for enjoyment and in no way claim to own them. I also did not write the song, "When I Fall in Love," by Nat King Cole.
Rating: PG-13… won't get too much higher, because I really don't like writing any type of smut and wouldn't be good at it. This chapter at the most is PG for references to achohol.
Author Notes: So, here I am writing once more. I know it's been awhile, and my last fic didn't get too much review. Probably because it was Doug and Carol, and not a Carter and Abby, or Luka and Abby fic. Well, once again, I'm writing Doug and Carol. It's in an AU. I know a little about World War II from studying it last year, but I'm not claiming that all of my facts are right, so please don't flame if I'm mistaken for anything. I'm also assuming that back then, the drinking age was eighteen, just for purposes of the story. Enjoy!
*
His smile.
It was definitely his smile that first caught my attention. Out of the corner of my eye and across the room, I saw him grinning as he was talking to one of his buddies. His uniform was pressed and the material clung to his body so that I could see his toned muscles well enough. His dark hair was cut relatively short, like most of the men's hair in the room were. But it was he who captured my eyes.
Susan had dragged me to a USO dance. I didn't want to go. Even though it was a Friday, I was looking forward to settling in on my bed with a fresh new book from the library. At nineteen years old, I felt like reading was my only escape from the real world. I didn't have any reason to go to the dance, for I was already engaged.
John was a good man. He was going to medical school to become a doctor and had also enlisted in the army. The United States was trying to remain neutral in the war, but it looked as if soon we would enter it on the side of the Allies.
I wasn't involved with John for love. I thought I was, but it was never for love. It was for my mother mostly. The depression had left us short on money, the little we had saved was just enough for the essentials, food, clothing, and shelter.
Honestly, I don't think I would have ever taken a second look at John if it weren't for my mother. It wasn't that he was bad looking, just not my type. He wasn't exciting. Mary Tagliari, John's mother, was a good friend of my mother. There were so many differences between our families; they had money, the perfect looking family, and the beautiful house. My mother and I lived in an apartment alone. My sisters, Rose and Mary, were older than me and had been married off right after high school.
I wasn't happy though.
John and I didn't have that connection; we didn't clique together. I lost my virginity to him, because I never suspected anyone else would be with me. It was more out of obligation, than because I was in love with him. I only did it once with him, and then told him we must wait until we were married.
The wedding.
That was a whole other story. The Tagliari's wanted an enormous wedding, and the plans they were making had not been what I had always envisioned.
The whole situation was one big headache.
Susan was my best friend. In high school, we discovered each other and had been close ever since. Susan was a carefree girl, who had big ambitions of going to college and becoming a teacher. She had always loved children, and spent a lot of time on the weekend's watching her sister's daughter, Susie. Her family was nowhere near rich, but they didn't care if Susan ever became married honestly.
When she approached me that night, I was skeptical. Yes, these dances were suppose to be 'fun and exciting.' Maybe you'd meet your sweetheart, but I had already met mine.
Or so I thought.
"Carol, please, you have to come with me! Elizabeth is going to be there and it'll be fun. Come on! I went to those boring book discussions with you, you owe me!!" Susan exclaimed flopping onto my bed.
"I know I made you go to those, but at least you didn't have to participate in anything. You just sat there." I commented and continued reorganizing my bookshelf.
Susan grabbed the magazine laying on my bed stand and started to flip through it while she continued talking, "All you have to do is get dressed and come. You could do the same thing as I did at your book discussion, sit there and sleep." She smirked. "And, it's not like you have to dance with anyone, you've already got John wrapped around your little finger," she noted gesturing towards the diamond on my ring finger.
She knew that I didn't want this, but had always remained quiet on the subject. We didn't talk about my wedding much. In fact only twice, when I told her I was getting married and when I asked her to be my matron of honor.
I glared at her. "Fine, but remind me the next time I beg you to come to one of my book discussions, what I had to do in return. Then I can almost guarantee I'll never bug you again about it." Provoking a small laugh from her, she jumped up and gave me a hug.
"Thank you!!!! Be ready at six, okay?"
"Fine."
Susan left and I began searching through my closet. I discovered a red skirt and a white shirt hidden in the back. Pulling it out, I laid it across my bed and decided to wear it tonight. I looked in the mirror; my long curly hair was tied loosely on top of my head and was a mess. After cleaning all day, I was sweaty and I smelled. Looking at the clock, it read 4:30. I decided to take a shower quickly and then start dinner.
The cool water against my body was like heaven. Even though it was December, the tiny fire I had started in the fireplace, quickly warmed up our little apartment. It was one of the major advantages to being on the bottom floor. I sat in the living room while my hair regained its spirals and began to read my book. I had already eaten something earlier, and was waiting a little while before putting on makeup.
The doorknob turned on the apartment door and my mother's figure appeared. She had the stern look she always had, but it quickly became softer when she saw the clean apartment.
"Ah, Carol, you did clean it!"
"Yes Ma."
"Are you coming with me to your aunt and uncle's tonight for dinner?"
"No." I said. I was trying to be as discreet as possible, I didn't think that she would appreciate me going to a dance with a bunch of men.
"Susan's?" she called from the kitchen.
"Mmmhmm." I said. I set my book down on the table and went into my room. After applying some make-up on, I put on my pearl necklace, one of my few good pieces of jewelry. I stared down at the ring on my hand, for one night, I wanted to play it a little outside the lines. I removed the band from my finger and place it in the box it was given to me and stuck it in my top drawer of my dresser.
I looked over myself and heard a tap at the door.
I quickly walked passed the couch in our living room/dining room where my mother was sitting and opened the door. Susan's bubbly and eager face emerged and I tried to leave but was stopped by my mother who looked up from her sewing.
"Are you staying at Susan's tonight?"
I hid my left hand behind me and nodded. "I'm going to come back in a little while for my stuff."
"Okay, make sure you have your key, I won't be home till late."
After making it out of my house, I gave out a heavy sigh. I hoped that my night wouldn't be a total disaster.
*
Maybe I'm old-fashioned feeling as I do.
Maybe I'm just living in the past,
But when I meet the right one, I know I'll be true.
My first love will be my last.
*
After meeting up with Elizabeth outside the building, I was already questioning whether or not I should have come. Inside, the music was blaring and over a hundred people were in the room, dancing and drinking. Susan went and got us each a drink, and the strong taste of mine almost made me gag.
Susan began anticipating which man she hoped would ask her, and she and Elizabeth engrossed in a conversation. I stood there, feeling quite out of place with the whole surrounding. I wondered if I showed it too.
Then, I saw him.
It was only out of the corner of my eye, but I did a double take with my eyes. He was absolutely gorgeous, and had an energy surrounding him. I looked around the room, and noted that a few other girls had their eyes on him. I tried to push him to the back of my mind.
My thoughts were interrupted when a man approached the group and tapped Elizabeth on the shoulder asking her to dance. He looked sweet, he wasn't the most attractive man I had ever laid eyes on, but seemed nice enough. Taking his hand, she turned around and grinned at us. After Elizabeth left, Susan quickly turned her attention towards me.
"I spotted someone." She said.
"Really? Who?"
She pointed to a red haired man. He was an average weight and average height. I didn't quite see the attraction, but I could tell she was quite interested. Of course, Susan wasn't the normal girl, so when she said, "Do you mind if I go over and talk to him?" it didn't surprise me at all.
"Of course not."
She smiled at me, and then walked towards him. I wasn't enjoying myself, I thought that once I had arrived, I would have a good time, but it was actually quite the opposite. I walked over to the bar, and decided getting a soda would be a good idea. I never was one for alcohol, its bitter taste and the effects it had on my brain never attracted me.
Just before I reached the bar, someone knocked into me, pushing me down.
"I'm so sorry. Are you okay?" When I looked up, it was the man who I spotted across the room before. My heart skipped a beat, but I decided to just act normal.
"It's fine." I said. He gave me his hand and helped me up. "Did I spill your drink?" I asked.
"Yeah, but no big deal, just water."
"Well, at least let me get you another one, I was going to get a soda myself."
"Nah, it's okay. I was just going to leave." He said. Pausing for a moment, he stuck his hand out again, "I'm Doug Ross."
"Carol Hathaway." Looking down at my watch, I realized we had only been there an hour. "I'm usually not into these sorts of things, but my friend Susan," I gestured to her by the red headed man, "Insisted I come with her and my other friend Elizabeth." I then motioned my hand towards Elizabeth.
"Thought I saw you before." He said. "That's my friend Mark who's dancing with Elizabeth."
There was a silence between us for a moment, and then he asked, "So, if you're not doing anything for the next half n' hour, I was just going to get a bit to eat down at a diner near by. Want to come?"
Once again, my heart raced. I looked into his eyes, I had only been talking to him for a few minutes, but I felt like I could trust him. It was something unusual, something I hadn't felt ever before.
"Sure, let me just get my jacket and tell Susan I'll be back in a little bit."
Luckily, Susan was so busy with the man she was with, who she introduced as Chuck, that she didn't question me about where I was going too much. I told her I would be back in a little bit, and hoped that she wouldn't be too hammered by the time I arrived back there.
I went outside and saw Doug standing there. The moonlight illuminated his figure and it made me feel the butterflies in my stomach once more. It was odd; I had never felt like this about a man before, not even John. No one had ever caught my eyes like he did. I wasn't sure what to think of it.
"Ready?"
"Yep, so where exactly is this diner?" I asked out of curiosity.
We began to walk side-by-side, "It's a few blocks down, Doc Magoo's, have you heard of it?"
I thought for a moment, but hadn't. "Nope. I live on the other side of town." He raised his eyebrows so I continued, but decided not to reveal too much yet. "Susan lives close to here, so I often spend the night in the extra bedroom in her apartment." I paused once more, and looked to see if he was still interested, and didn't show any signs that he wasn't, "I live with my mother right now, the youngest of three girls."
"Ah, I see. As soon as I turned eighteen I was out on my own like a shot of a bullet." He said. He stopped walking and I looked across the street and saw the diner. "There it is."
So we crossed the street and entered it, little did I know, much would change for me in the course of an hour.
*
When I fall in love,
It will be forever.
For I'll never fall in love,
In a restless world like this is.
*
After settling down at a table and ordering, he asked, "Where do you work?"
I took a shallow breath and looked up at him, should I tell him about John? How miserable I was? How I was being forced into something? Once again, those eyes, I still can't explain what I saw in them, it was something comforting and I felt like I could tell him anything.
"Well, I don't work. I wanted to become a nurse after I graduated from high school a year and a half ago, but my mother had different ideas in mind of what I was going to do. She's from Europe and still has those old school traditions of women are homemakers and men go out and work."
"Can't say my family much cared what I did. Well I guess my mother did, but it's difficult to stay in touch, she lives in Kentucky." He said. "So, I'm assuming you aren't in nursing school?" he asked.
I smiled, "No. We couldn't afford it anyway, but she does have this wealthy friend, Mary Tagliari. And well, Mary has a son, John, who is a few years older then I am, and I got set up on one date and my mother continued to force everything, so now, we're engaged."
He looked a bit surprised, and then looked at my left hand. "No engagement ring?" he asked.
I blushed a little, "Well, when I decided to go out tonight, I umm, left it at home. I thought it would turn people away."
"Do you love him?" he asked.
"No, but I think he's in love with me." I said in a hushed voice. "I can't believe I'm telling you all this, you're very easy to talk to."
"Well, I am a bartender part time for money." He said.
"So, Doug Ross, tell me, what exactly is your life story since I told you some of mine?"
"I don't know, do you have days?" he asked with a grin.
I looked at my watch, "I have about forty-five minutes." I said smiling back.
"Okay, well, I grew up in Kentucky. Only child, I don't think my father ever really wanted kids, but my mom became pregnant and look who they ended up with." He said chuckling, and I gave out a small laugh. "My dad, well, to say he was a drunk would be putting it lightly. He liked to pack up and go on gambling trips for a few days." He stopped for a moment, his eyes looked troubled.
I touched his hand gently from across the table, "It's okay, you don't have to go into detail if you want."
"No, it's just I never told anyone this."
"I never told anyone that I didn't want to get married, so I guess we're even."
"Well, things were fine for awhile. My mother and I got used to being on our own without him for periods of time, and then he would come home and things would go back to normal. Until I was eight, my father never did anything, and by the time he got home, he would be sobered up. But then, he started coming home wasted and hitting my mother. It lasted for five years, until they got divorced."
"I ended up living with my mom, and I've only seen my dad a few times since. When I turned eighteen, I enlisted in the army because I didn't know what else to do. I wanted to be a pediatrician, but we just didn't have the money to go to med school, so I decided I would start to save for it. And that's what I've been doing."
It was odd, we both had so much in common, neither of us having a father figure in our lives at a young age, and being denied something we wanted because of money. I was so attracted to him, and I didn't know what to do.
I didn't want to not ever see him again.
Our food came and we involved ourselves throughout the meal in deep conversation. When it came time to pay the bill, I found myself wondering once more if this was going to be good-bye.
"How much do I owe you?" I asked.
"It's on me." He said pulling the money out from his wallet and setting it down on the table. He stood up and grabbed my jacket handing it to me.
"Doug, really, I can pay."
"No, my idea, I pay." He said smiling. He held open the door leading to the outside world, and I went out. "Let me walk you back." He said.
"You don't have to do that."
"It's on my way." So we walked by to the hall and finally got there. I stopped, and looked at him.
"You know, I never talked to anyone about any of that stuff before." I said quietly.
"Me either, want to do lunch next week?" he asked hopefully. I smiled, because I was thinking the same exact thing.
"Sure, why don't you give me your number and I'll call you, my mother has some crap set up for this week, so I have to figure out when we could." He searched through his pockets and found a piece of paper and scribbled his number down.
"So I'll see you next week?"
"Yep." He said. He leaned down and gave me a kiss on the cheek, "See you then."
I touched my cheek, things weren't going to be the same.
*
Love has ended before it's begun
And too many moonlight kisses
Seem to cool in the warmth of the sun.
When I give my heart
It will be completely.
For I'll never give my heart,
And the moment I can feel that you feel that way too
Is when I fall in love with you.
*
Okay, so there's the beginning to what hopefully will be my fan fiction series. I've only really written stand alones, so this is kind of new to me.
I would *really* love if you could leave me a review. I want to hear if you hated or loved it. I know my writing isn't the best, but I'm only a freshman, so I'm still learning and expanding. Grammar and spelling also aren't my favorite things, lol, so I apologize for anything that is worded badly.
Till I write again.
-Emily
