A/N: PLEASE read first!
So this is new and completely different from what I'm used to. Basically, the idea is from Doctor Who's The Wedding of River Song, in which time breaks down and all time is running simultaneously, stuck at a single point. We're talking Cleopatra meeting with Hitler and going to the World Trade Center wacky. So. I'm thinking, due to the intricate relationships between time, space, and reality itself as suggested by the wonky things that happen close to light-speed, and the highly improbable things calculated to happen at light-speed and beyond: what if not just time, but reality itself broke down? All possible universes converged at once? There are infinitely many possible universes, including all of our favorite fandoms and every fanfiction AU of those fandoms. So this story is a series of drabbles and oneshots about all my favorite characters from all my favorite fandoms in the most massive crossover, set when the world was going to pieces. I'll be happy to take ideas, prompts, pairing requests, pretty much anything goes. In fact, if you really want to guest write for this story, I will consider it, condition being that it goes here, not on your profile, and I have full and final beta privileges. I would of course credit you.
Rules: Nothing too close to what's actually going on in the episode (unless you want to write it, I'm not going to). I'm keeping it T-rated for action violence. Space/time is collapsing, so there have to be multiple oddities going on at any one time, this is not just a place to dump random crossover fics. I will only write for fandoms I know. I will warn you at the beginning of each chapter what fandoms get prominence, so you know if you want to skip a chapter. And only characters that have been significantly altered by time travel, moving outside universes, that kind of thing, are aware of it being an alternate reality. That means the Doctor, any incarnation of the Doctor, remembers what things are supposed to be, because he's a Time Lord and that's how Time Lords see the universe. Same goes for any other Time Lords that show up for some reason. River knows because she's at the epicenter of it. Amy, and by extension, other companions with significant exposure to Void and the Crack and things (I'm thinking Jack and maybe Donna and Martha) are aware that it is an alternate reality, but without a clear memory of what things are supposed to be (remember, Amy didn't know Rory was her husband). Anyone with some connection to the Doctor is likely to be trying to get something concrete done, but anyone else is probably just watching and thinking everything is awfully weird (think Churchill). Any fandom or character can appear more than once in various capacities—for example, in one chapter Jack runs the Battlestar Galactica, but in another, he'll be back in Torchwood.
Primary cast fandoms: Doctor Who/Torchwood, Harry Potter, Star Trek, Sherlock, Battlestar Galactica, Buffy the Vampire Slayer/Angel, Firefly, Avengers, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. Listed as a cross with BSG because of the list of ideas I have, it came second in number of times it cropped up.
Warnings: War violence. I watch so many shows with ships that have a lot of weapons. Or shows with a lot of weapons period. Non-canon relationships, including a hefty dose of slash. Swearing.
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the fandoms that make appearances in here, and neither does anyone else who writes for this story.
In Which Jack Controls Galactica
Main Fandoms: Doctor Who, Torchwood, Battlestar Galactica
Making a Guest Appearance: Star Wars, Harry Potter
This one is for SnarkyHunter, who gave me the idea about River and Jack.
Vipers circled the pyramid they knew only as Area 52. They all stayed in protective formation, but one was practicing flips as it went.
"Hot Dog, quit fooling the frak around," crackled his intercom.
"Sure thing, Starbuck," replied the viper pilot, and, true to his word, returned to flying his miniature ship in a straight line.
"You can do flips when you're off duty," continued Starbuck, apparently feeling guilty about curbing Hot Dog's fun. It wasn't as though anything had been happening. But any such feelings were quickly put aside when she noticed something on the ground.
"Galactica, Starbuck. I've got a visual, but not sure what it is."
"Starbuck, Galactica," said the young man on the other end of the comm. "What's it look like?"
"White centurions is the closest I can think of," said Starbuck, flying momentarily closer to get a better look.
"That'd be a nice change," mused the man. "Instead of this silver, silver, silver. And skinjobs are all the same twelve models, no variation at all."
"Stop fooling around, Ianto, and get me Actual."
"Yes, sir," said Ianto, and transferred the call to Jack.
"Galactica Actual. Starbuck, can you send us some pictures?"
"Already on their way, Commander. What do you make of these?"
"Well, they're not exactly the most attractive things I've ever seen, but I've definitely seen worse. Ianto's got a point about the variety."
"Commander, if you and your boyfriend don't stop waxing poetic, I'm flying this bird right back in and coming up there."
"And what makes you think I'd be so unhappy to see you?" asked Jack, grinning at the pilot he couldn't see as he checked several displays. "Fine. Instruments giving you nothing, huh?"
"Nothing that couldn't mean a hundred things. They're marching on the pyramid."
"Tosh, get Pond on the horn," said Jack.
"Yes, sir," said Toshiko Sato, quickly typing something into her console.
"Pond, Galactica," said Jack. "I'm sending you some pictures. These your guys?"
"No, please shoot them," came the answer.
"That's very harsh. I like that in a woman. Say, when this is all over—dinner?"
"I'd explain about 'when this is over' but I might cause another crack in the universe, so let's leave it at 'no,'" replied Amy. "And if you don't want to shoot them, at least get them to go away. That is what I hired you for."
"And right you were, Madame Pond. But somehow I don't think I'll be disappearing with the rest of these fine folks, so just know the invitation's always open."
"Closed, but why?"
"Ask the Doctor about me," said Jack, with far too much suggestion in his voice for it to be real. Then, thankfully, he dropped the affectation and said, quietly enough for no one but Ianto and Tosh to hear, "I've been dealing with space/time a lot longer than you have. I know this isn't how things are supposed to be. But I want to know how you know."
"Crack in the universe. Ask the Doctor about me."
The line went dead.
"Cheeky woman," said Jack, staring at the handset.
"You did provoke her," said Ianto.
"You, be quiet or I'll take your stopwatch away."
Ianto tried to comply without looking as though he was, which only caused Tosh to laugh at him.
"Commander!" Starbuck's voice brought them back to reality. "They're getting too close for comfort. Orders?"
"Athena, Galactica. Fly low and shoot a warning blast."
Athena complied, firing across the space the white centurions were about to march into.
"Galactica, Athena. They've stopped, sir." Athena fiddled with her instruments. "Hang on—I'm getting something. A transmission. Sir…they say we have the droids they're looking for." She paused. "What the frak are droids?"
"Reply on their frequency. Standard warning. Back off or be killed."
Athena relayed the message. A moment later, several of the white centurions raised their guns and fired, rocking the viper. Starbuck flew down and took Athena's flank without being told, followed quickly by Helo.
There followed some heavy firefighting, since most of the other vipers stayed put ("Could be a distraction") , but the three pilots were some of the best in the fleet, and they managed to dodge a heavy percentage of the fire.
"Helo, distract them!" yelled Starbuck. "I'm going around back!"
"You're terrible wingmen!" Athena shouted back, but she was managing fine on her own. Starbuck had successfully got around the white centurions and was pelting them with ammo.
"It's working! They're scattering," she called. Indeed, those of the enemy left standing were making off into the distance.
"Good job, everyone. You three, come on in," said Jack. The three ships turned and flew toward their mother ship, the Battlestar Galactica, which opened a port for them to fly into and land. Back on the deck, Chief Tyrol checked the vipers and set his crew to make some minor repairs. The pilots, temporarily off duty, headed back to their rack to catch a few hours sleep. Two boys leaning against the wall in the corridor watched them go.
"Helo would be a Gryffindor," said the one with messy black hair and glasses.
"Oh, yes," agreed his companion, a blonde with silver eyes. "Starbuck, too."
"Athena…Ravenclaw?"
"You only think that because she reminds you of Cho," said Draco scathingly. "She's a Hufflepuff."
A black-haired man in a lab coat came down the corridor, apparently talking to himself.
"What about Baltar?" said Harry. "Ravenclaw? He is a scientist."
"Wrong again. Slytherin," corrected Draco.
"Right," nodded Harry. "Slytherin all over. Dualla?"
"Hufflepuff. Sato, Ravenclaw. Jones?"
"Um. Could be any of them, really. He's so reserved."
"I say another Slytherin, unless he's got Ravenclaw tendencies we haven't seen yet."
"Well, we haven't seen him fighting for the Commander, yet, either. He could be a secret Gryffindor."
"Or a Hufflepuff with above-average intelligence. What about the Admiral?"
"Adama? Gryffindor. The Commander?"
"Harkness? He's a tough one. I'd almost say another Slytherin. Maybe Gryffindor."
"Not such a heavy line, is it?" asked Harry, and leaned over to kiss him.
Meanwhile, far below in the pyramid so recently beset by Stormtroopers, a redhead with an eye patch was talking to a man in a tweed jacket and bow tie.
"So, what about Jack Harkness?" The man in the bow tie gave a violent shudder.
"No. Just no. He's not your type."
"I wasn't! I just want to know—"
"Don't mention Jack," interrupted the Doctor, "when River is within a ten-metre radius."
"Why?" Amy Pond crossed her arms in the way that meant she was about to be stubborn.
"The world might implode," said the Doctor, and stalked off in the opposite direction before she could argue.
Thanks for reading! I hope I did the Stormtroopers all right, all the Star Wars knowledge I once had has leaked out my ears.
