I do not own the Thunderbirds. They belong to Gerry Anderson. The story is based off a drawing made by Lenle-G of John dressed up in a very interesting costume. Thanks to her for allowing me to use it as inspiration to write a bit of much needed humor.
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Scott Tracy was relaxing in the lounge of the Tracy Island family home, enjoying a long sip of coffee before biting into a cupcake Virgil brought for him on his way back from a rescue in Washington State.
He had always loved a particular carrot cupcake, but the store that it was made at was in Tacoma.
It was not a place he could simply fly off to, but the store was more than happy to make a dozen for International Rescue for helping keep Mount Rainier from erupting.
Virgil was finishing up taking a shower, John was down from Thunderbird Five, taking a nap to rest up for the evening and Alan and Kayo were within two hours from home flying back from a space mission. Soon, everyone would be home to celebrate his milestone birthday.
"Everyone wins," said the eldest Tracy as he took another bite, chewing in cream cheese and carrot cake contentment.
The bliss however abruptly ended when he heard stomping through the hallway.
The eldest sighed, thinking Gordon was running toward the pool. "Hey, no…" started Scott only to pause when he heard a growl and saw who entered into the room. "John? You OK?" he said cautiously, taking a look at what John was wearing.
John Tracy certainly was not OK.
No, the astronaut was beet red in anger as he stood in front of his brother. The color not only set off the man's ginger hair, it also set him apart from his rather … unusual tunic.
At least he hoped it was that.
Scott saw a slight challenge in his brother's turquoise eyes to not laugh, but honestly he was more puzzled at the attire.
So, he took a deep breath and let it out. "Um… John, why do you look like Fred Flintstone?" he said perplexed.
John started to open his mouth when Virgil rounded the corner. He was dressed in his usual denims and flannel shirt, but it was unbuttoned while he cooled down from the warm shower.
The second eldest gave a passing glance at his red-haired brother. "Hi John," he said and took a few more steps before freezing.
He turned and took a proper look at his brother. "Um… John, what's with the Fred Flintstone look?" Virgil said, eying the costume up and down.
The astronaut however looked at both of them and sighed. "Oh, I'm not him. He would be preferable to this..." said John as shoved the item he had in his hand on his head.
The two older brothers did a double take, trying to hold the humor building in their stomachs.
They failed, and doubled over laughing. "You match the cupcake decorations," said Scott between laughs.
John however rolled his eyes and crossed his arms. "Not funny," he said sour faced.
"B-but, John... it is. You're a carrot," said Virgil, wiping the tears from his eyes.
"No kidding…" said John dryly.
Scott managed to settle his chuckled to "I'm sorry John, but it is funny," said the eldest in sympathy. Seeing John accept his apology, he continued. "Where on earth did you get that outfit?"
John started to respond, but Virgil interrupted. "No, more to the point - why are you wearing it?" he said.
The astronaut sighed, taking the hat off again and running a hand through his similarly colored locks. "It's the only thing in my closet," he said. Seeing the others' bemusement, he continued. "After I got out of the elevator, I went to take a shower and nap so I could get over the worst of my re-entry before your party."
The older two nodded in understanding. John occasionally would suffer a case of space sickness that kept him bedridden, but even preparing for trips back to earth would wear him out.
"Anyway, when I got up to get dressed, I found only this … thing," added John. "Would've put on my uniform, but that had already been taken to the wash. So, I put this on so I could go and chase the person who put it in my closet."
"OK, so who did it?" said Virgil, knowing there were only two people who'd put the middle brother through this.
John quirked an eyebrow. "Does the phrase 'Now you really are a carrot, carrot top' ring a bell?" he said. Seeing a bit of puzzlement, the astronaut continued. "Apparently our favorite Squid recalled a memory of Colorado I'd rather not be reminded of again."
The two eldest looked at each other, now making the connection. They knew the incident their younger brother was talking about, and who the prankster was.
Scott then did a facepalm. "I thought Gordon had forgotten about that," he said.
They had been at an event at the Dynasty Mansion in Colorado, where the Hood had sights on a priceless ruby and the money being raised for the hospital.
But that wasn't all he had eyes on - and they all were caught in the crossfire.
Gordon was programmed by the Hood using nanobots to attack them. John in particular had been chloroformed by his brainwashed aquanaut brother, and his recovery had some embarrassing verbal commentary.
He didn't recall much of it at the time, but EOS made sure John knew everything that was said a few days later.
John seeing his brother's reactions quirked an eyebrow and shrugged. "I thought he did too, it was several months ago," he groaned, walking over to a couch. "Yes, I admit I called Sherbert a rabbit and he could eat my 'carrot top' if he were hungry, but this is ridiculous."
Virgil chuckled in sympathy as his brother tried to sit down in the bulky and short outfit.
After a few tries, John sighed and stayed standing. He may have briefs on, but he wasn't going to flash his brothers. He put the hat back on to keep his hands free.
That however caused another chuckle, this time from upstairs. "Hey - you look good enough to eat," teased Gordon from upstairs.
John rolled his eyes. "Squids don't eat carrots…" he said, crossing his arms again.
This only made Gordon laugh harder. "Neither do pugs but you insisted Sherbert could..." he said.
"Because I was still dopey," said John, who then smirked. "Besides, this outfit is wrong. I seem to recall the very next day you called me Super Space Jellyfish after you recovered from the procedure to deprogram you…"
"Now wait -"
Seeing this potentially start to escalate, Scott put a hand up and sighed. "Gordon… you need to get John's clothes back to him - now," he ordered.
Gordon's smile only grew into a slight, not quite so innocent smirk. "Uh, no can do."
John's eyes grew ice cold. "Why?"
"Well… all your clothes might've accidentally got put in the compost heap instead of the wash. One shirt definitely needed it," he said in the same mock innocence.
Virgil and Scott could see the point for one item only. Even they conceded John's tan cowboy shirt was not flattering on the red-haired man.
That said - it was one shirt out of a half dozen "earth clothes" sets John had on the island.
John's eyes narrowed. "The compost heap? Do I have anything to wear for Scott's birthday party?" he growled.
"Well, just that and your shorts, which I salute," he said, giving a jaunty salute.
Between the indignity of an orange outfit and not being able to sit otherwise folks would know what color underwear he wore, the astronaut's expression darkened. "I'll show you saluting shorts…." growled John.
The aquanaut was about to make a witty comment, but seeing his now enraged brother start to step forward, Gordon chose to cut his losses and run before John could catch him.
The astronaut started his race to catch the slippery squid. He made it halfway to the stairs when he was stopped by two things - gravity causing him to trip on an imaginary "brick," and his brothers catching him.
"Easy John," said Scott soothingly and he helped his brother regain his balance. "I'll loan you an outfit for tonight."
"Thanks Scott… but honestly, I liked that shirt," said the younger man, brushing of Scott's hands. He then started to think about his younger brother's comments and actions.
Virgil chuckled. "Yeah - full disclosure, even I thought it didn't look that great on you bro," he said, and seeing his astronaut brother roll his eyes, smiled. "Now, the rest of them is another story."
"I agree - I also liked the green pants and blue long sleeved set. That was what I planned to wear tonight," said John, as he continued thinking. "But you know what they say about revenge right?"
"Best served cold…" said Virgil, who paused when he saw the calculating glimmer in John's eyes. "Please tell me you're not going to knock him cold - are you?"
John shook his head, making the "stems" of the carrot top quiver. "No, but I think it's time Gordon got a bit of his own medicine, and I need yours and EOS' help," he said as he made contact with the ship. "EOS… I need you to set up something for me…"
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That evening, Scott's birthday party was in full swing. It was stopped for an hour when Gordon had to take Thunderbird Four out to a simple rescue near the Superior Barrier Reef.
Little did he know the "rescue" was made up by EOS and his brothers to get him out of the house to set up John's revenge.
While Gordon was away, John and Virgil went into their brother's bedroom and stole every bit of clothing save a pair of boxers - with a special addition added to the waistband. They also put another outfit in the closet.
Unlike Gordon, they simply put his clothing in the wash - especially as a lot of it needed a thorough clean.
Like their brother however, they did put one shirt in the compost heap.
It admittedly had to go - it was a travesty of fashion.
They still wondered why Gordon thought a Hawaiian shirt that was decorated with ears of corn was high fashion. It was worse than their Dad's flamingo shirt.
When the aquanaut returned from the canceled call - chalked up as "fake," they continued their celebrations with merriment and libations.
Eventually, the brothers turned in for the night, and after he took a shower and changed into the boxers, Gordon crashed into his bed, sound asleep from the rescue and slight buzz from the beer he had.
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The next morning, it was a beautiful sunny day on Tracy Island. Gordon woke up and stretched.
He yawned, and smiled at the beautiful ocean outside, waiting for him. "Time for a swim," he said, then smiled broader as part of a dream the night before came to the forefront of his mind. "And maybe make a call to Penny to join me later this evening."
Warming at the thought, he clambered out from underneath the sheets to start his morning routine.
Instead, to his puzzlement, he started hearing an ominous tone.
It was slow, deliberate, and seemed to follow him as though it wanted to sneak up and bite him...
"Jaws?" he said, recognizing the music. He was confused, but then remembering Alan got a copy of "Back to the Future II" to mock the horrible CGI shark in the future scene, shrugged.
The next moments however filled him with dread - because it wasn't the theme.
He'd preferred it to what came next.
"Baby shark, doo, doo, doo, doo… baby shark, doo, doo, doo, doo…"
"What the?..." said the aquanaut, looking around for a speaker.
"Mommy shark doo, doo, doo, doo... mommy shark doo, doo, doo, doo..."
Gordon yelped. "NO! Not that song!" he pleaded, listening to it grow louder and now actively searched for the source.
He absolutely loathed the song. it was one of the top banned songs he had, right there under "Narwhals" - except that song was useful for pranking Virgil.
The trouble started when Alan had given him a plush singing version of the baby in the song, which was sweet of his brother.
What was not sweet was the music button ended up sticking one night and would not stop playing until the battery died - seven hours later.
The slurred then "double bass" voice of the baby by the time the battery finally gave out still haunted him in his dreams.
Now in waking mode, it was even worse.
So, Gordon started tossing things around his room, trying to figure out where the music was coming from. There were no visible speakers, not plush toys or anything that should be producing the music.
"Outside, it's got to be outside," he reasoned and started walking out of his room. A quick gasp from his Grandmother, who had turned the corner, made him run back in before he was scolded for not wearing anything more than his underwear.
Or worse, being force fed some of her "famous" cookies - double burnt.
"OK, may be outside, but no go in boxers. Need proper clothes..." he said, rushing to his closet.
Opening the door, he gasped in shock.
"You've got to be kidding me!" he yelled.
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In the Lounge, the other brothers were sitting in the lounge, enjoying one of John's famous breakfasts of scrambled eggs with ricotta cheese and candied jalapenos when they heard Gordon's near shriek.
Virgil looked up near his aquanaut brother's room and chuckled. "Well, I think he's definitely up," he said with a chuckle.
A muffled curse filtered through the air, along with the strands of the "Baby Shark" song. "Where is that music coming from!" shouted Gordon.
Alan, having found out about his fellow astronaut's plan, doubled over, tears in his eyes. "Oh boy, I can't believe 10 minutes later he still hasn't figured out the music is coming from his boxers," he said, nearly falling off the couch in laughter. "Do you think he's going to wear the outfit?"
John smiled as he adjusted the sleeves of the plaid shirt he borrowed from his brother. "Yep… like I said revenge is best served cold," he said as their younger brother finally made an appearance.
Gordon scowled. "Very funny," said the aquanaut, crossing his fins - no arms.
The quartet in the lounge completely lost it. Gordon was wearing a shark suit - but one that looked like the sharks in the children's song still playing cheerfully around him.
John however quirked an eyebrow. "Ah, a shark… very suiting with your shark like stealth," he said, then smirking. "Though you may not be able to be as sneaky in that color..."
Gordon however shook his head. "Come on John - this really isn't funny. I get the costume and all is payback… but the song…" he said shuddering. "It still gives me nightmares. Where is it coming from?"
Alan only laughed harder, confusing his immediate older brother. "OK, you know something don't you?" Gordon said.
The youngest wiped the tears from his eyes. "Yeah… the music is coming from your boxers,' he said.
"My - boxers?"
John laughed. "Yes, and we salute your shorts," giving a jaunty salute along with Alan, Virgil and Scott.
Gordon paled as the song started up again. "Guys… please make it stop - I'll do anything," he pleaded.
John looked at his older two brothers, who nodded. "OK… will you promise to not dress me up as a carrot - or toss out my wardrobe - again?" he said.
"Well... I don't know," hesitated Gordon.
Seeing the aquanaut conflicted, the middle brother continued, shrugging. "Well, if you'd rather listen to the song until the batteries run down go ahead," he said, then gave a smug smile. "That said... I'll let you know it will be difficult since it is a computer chip controlled by EOS..."
The aquanaut paled to the point he was almost as white as a cooked piece of tilapia. That added insult to injury: EOS may choose to not listen to his brother.
The other brothers however frowned, growing concerned Gordon's pleas were possibly due to a phobia when he spoke again.
"No! I surrender John - no more carrots," said Gordon. "I'm sorry for pulling a prank based on Colorado."
The astronaut looked as though he was debating to accept the answer. Seeing Gordon pale more, now worried that his brother would faint from a genuine phobia, then tapped a console. "EOS, please stop playing that program," he said.
"FAB John," said the clipped electronic voice, and the music stopped.
Everyone sighed in relief, especially Gordon. "Thanks," he said, then rubbed the back of his head. "I really am sorry John. I thought the carrot was funny… but I see that it really isn't for you is it?"
John shook his head. "No, it isn't. While I admit I have said some interesting things waking up from sedatives Gordon - that was a night I'd rather not remember, especially as the Hood made you attack me," he said.
"No, you wouldn't - none of you would," Gordon admitted. He privately admitted there were a few spots he'd not remember correctly, if at all, from the incident.
Seeing his brother grow a bit chagrined, he then gave a half smile. "Well, I confess there are some things I do want to remember such as how you won the funniest guess prize."
Gordon groaned at that memory of a completely truthful, but to most of the party attendees funny, answer. "Yeah… I definitely get your point," he admitted. John wasn't the only one who said silly stuff that night, though he conceded it was worth it to win the diamond he gave to Lady Penelope in addition to the two gemstones he won in another event.
He looked at the costume again and frowned. "So… did you decide to put all my clothes in the compost heap?"
Scott shook his head. "No - we have most of your clothing," he said. "I think there was only one casualty."
"Not my favorite Hawaiian shirt?" pleaded Gordon, horrified they'd consider tossing the blue, yellow and orange one.
The eldest smiled. "Nope, that corn on the cob one," he said, and seeing his brother start to protest, put a hand up. "No, it needed to go: it was far too 'corny'."
Gordon rolled his eyes at the blatant pun, but thinking about why he got it, agreed. "Touche… so where are my clothes?" he said.
John was about to speak up when a chirp at the desk and image game into view at the coffee table.
"FAB 1 calling International Res…." started Lady Penelope, only to pause when she saw the aquanaut. "Gordon dear… what are you wearing?"
"Oh no..." Gordon blushed crimson and simply ran up the stairs. "John, you better send me a location of my clothes!" he shouted as he ran up to his room.
"FAB Gordon..." John as he and the others chuckled while he sent the code.
Scott however turned to Penelope. "Hello Lady P, do you need our assistance?" he asked.
The young woman shook her head. "No, I wanted to wish you a belated happy birthday Scott," she said, glancing up at the stairwell Gordon went up. "However…"
"However?..."
The young woman looked at the middle brother and quirked an eyebrow, perplexed. "John, why on earth was Gordon wearing a shark costume?" she inquired.
"Oh… just payback for forcing me to dress up as a carrot yesterday," he admitted. Seeing her look of inquiry, he continued. "You know - 'now you're a real carrot top' for Sherbert the 'rabbit'."
She pursed her lips in thought, then making the connection, chuckled. "Honestly, I didn't think he'd remember that bit from the dinner," she said, then paused. "It's a pity though he rushed off, I wanted to say something after he answered."
"What's that?" said John.
"I thought he looked cute in a pink shark outfit," she said solemnly, then chuckled, the others joining in on a well-played prank that outplayed the squid.
