3.14
"You stupid bitch!"
159
"You'll never be anything!"
265
Punch
358
Did glass shatter? I can't tell. I'm in a different realm in my mind.
Time, space, reality.
None of it matters.
I'm reciting pi, oddly.
Pain ceases to exist.
Physically
Mentally
I'm being damaged
But in my realm
I'm numb
It's nice
I taste blood, feel it dripping down my cheeks from the burning gash that now resides on my flesh. The salt of it vaguely keeps me aware.
That I'm still trapped.
But back to pi.
979
"Die."
Gladly.
323
Punch
Shatter
Blackout
--
5 am
Sunday, February 12th, 2011
2 days before my 9th birthday
8 years old
Paying bills
Passing classes
Checking for injuries every morning
"Ok, let's check the damage, shall we?"
I lightly touched the bottom left and right sides of my chest.
"Ow, jeez"
Ok, three broken ribs.
Next, legs.
"Oof"
Slight fracture on left, great.
I reach for the homemade splint I made when I was a little younger for situations just like this.
I gently put it on and hobble over to the bathroom to asses the rest of my wounds.
A black eye, busted lip, a large bruise spanning the entire left side of my neck. Not to mention the giant gash on my forehead.
"I can pull this off as falling down the stairs, maybe," I whispered in a hopeful tone.
I volunteer at the hospital today. We had a class project to go somewhere, observe something, or someone and write a short report about it. I should be able to clean my wounds and borrow some crutches there.
I get out of my bloody pajamas, shower soundlessly and change. I then grab my favorite book (Alan Lightman "Accidental Universe) and my house keys, the cool metal soothing my flesh, and plan my way out.
"Now I just need to be quiet."
I live in a small home, 2 bedrooms and 2 baths, and a small kitchen.
The walls a calming grey, such a fooling color scheme for what really goes on in here.
My bedroom is right next to my father's, so silence is key. Last night was one of my easier ones. He could have done far more damage.
He's been more violent since the incident.
Last night I was boiling water for dinner and he accidentally shoved me slightly. Some of the water spilled out and onto my feet. Let's just say he wasn't too happy at my clumsy actions.
It doesn't help that he's drunk every day, going to the 'Alibi Room' at 9 am every morning like clockwork.
He doesn't appreciate getting woken up any earlier. So, to appease him, I slowly make my way to our front door. I exit, lock, and bolt. Going as fast and as quietly as my body would allow me to.
At least until I'm at a safe distance from my nightmare.
--
At Hospital
I walk into the cool, sterile building through the sliding glass doors. Instantly being hit by the smell of rubbing alcohol, relief, and sadness. The familiar white walls are paradoxically calming.
In the front, I was instantly greeted by the sight of Dr. Lubin. One of the head doctors of South Side.
"Sup, Doc!" I shouted slightly to get her attention. I was then met with her signature thousand-watt smile at my nickname for her, which then started to fade at the sight of my black and blue body.
"Oh my goodness, what happened?!"
"Fell down the stairs"
I made sure to keep a level, monotone voice. Remain nonchalant and no one will ask questions. It's better this way.
She looked at me suspiciously and I almost flinched at the scrutiny of her gaze. Luckily, she kept her inklings to herself and went to get some crutches, bandages, and rubbing alcohol. After I asked her with my best puppy-dog eyes that is.
You have to love eight-year-old charms.
--
The day passed by pretty quickly. I spent it helping out doctors and nurses if they needed any troublesome chores taken care of.
It was now about 12 and I decided to stay by the front of the normal entrance to greet people as they walked in. Sometimes you saw something interesting and got to go run to get or page a doctor.
About a second later, I saw a boy with a shaved head walk, well more like sprint in with a bit of a panicked expression. He had amazingly vibrant greenish, bluish, eyes and full lips.
What was odd about the circumstance was that a man (who was obviously a little tipsy) trailed in right behind him telling him to calm down. He seemed slightly, nervous, almost anxious to get out of here.
There were barely any nurses in the front due to it being a bit of a slow day and lunch hour, so I went to see if I could help. On the case of it being something serious, I could go and get a doctor.
"Hello, can I help you?"
I said in the most calming tone I could.
"I need a doctor!" The boy said, strangely not minding my age.
"May, I ask what your emergency is?
" I have cancer!"
.
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What in the actual fu-
"Have you come here for treatment?"
"Well, no, but I just find out today!"
"Oh, I see, you've been diagnosed?"
"Yeah, my dad said so!"
I then looked between the man in question and his clearly confused son. He was sweating bullets.
I looked at his son, his head was evidently shaved with a household razor and didn't occur naturally.
The boy had a great metabolism if his running here meant anything.
He wasn't pail and actually seemed incredibly healthy, looks can be deceiving, but something seemed off.
I then went to question his father. His eyes were darting between me and the TV in the front. It was set to the local news channel and was talking about how the 'Make-a-Wish' foundation will be making another kid's dreams come true next year. However, when they announced that certain tidbit of information, the father appeared to be extremely forlorn and shocked.
"Hello, sir. I was hoping to ask you what type of cancer your son has exactly? I would bring a doctor in, but I'm sure you can guess how busy they are. This wouldn't be a false case, would it?"
"Oh, uh"
"Was your son tested? If so, I'd be happy to go get his doctor."
"Oh, well, you see..."
He states after flashing around from the TV, quite visibly lost in his thoughts. He nervously tugged at the collar of his shirt, his eyes darting around for the nearest exit. I then noticed his 'Chicago Bulls Jersey' and connected the dots.
"I see..."
I then grabbed the front of his shirt, pulled him down, and smacked him clean across the face. Hard enough to leave a pretty good handprint. I then whispered in his ear with a dangerously calm voice.
"You are an absolutely horrible person. You are lower than the scum of the Earth and you've lost all my respect in the first few moments I've met you. I don't know how you can live with yourself, but one day someone will take care of that little problem. And if they don't then I will personally take the honor of sending you to Hell myself."
My goodness, how selfish do you have to be? Cancer is not something to lie about, and for a basketball!
Where's Dr. Phil when you need him?
I kneed him in the groin with my less damaged leg for good measure, satisfied when I heard a groan of pain followed by a faint 'bitch' in the background as I hobbled away.
Now for the hard part, telling a boy that his father just told him a lie of a lifetime. I found him by the vending machine, good, he could eat his feelings when this goes south.
"Hi. I have good news and bad news. Which one would you like to hear first?"
"Bad"
He said with no hesitation, his gorgeous green eyes boring into my glowing silver ones. I liked this kid, he had guts.
"Ok, well, the bad news is that your dad lied and the good news is you don't have cancer." I tried to proclaim as fast as I could with a sad smile on my face.
"What?"
I saw the confused and shocked expression on his face. Dang it, I have to explain. I sighed then coaxed him to sit down on the bench next to the snack-giving contraption.
"Do you know what the 'Make-a-Wish' association is?"
He nodded so I continued.
"Earlier this month there was a story on the news. It was about a kid who had used his wish to get a basketball signed by one of his favorite players. Your father said you had cancer so you would act like you had it and he could get something he wanted out of the 'Make-a-Wish'. Let me guess, 'Cancer Camp' was next?
" Yeah, how did you-"
"He was wearing a 'Chicago Bulls Jersey', couldn't tell me what type of cancer you had, and had the body language of a serial killer being interrogated for the first time. Before I questioned him, he was looking at the update of the story on the news. It said that they wouldn't be doing the next 'wish' until next year. When he heard that, he looked really shocked and disappointed. So, I connected the dots."
"Holy shit!" He said, evidently exasperated with the whole ordeal.
"Pretty much, I'm a really sorry man. But you don't have cancer and you are most definitely not going to die." I voiced, putting as much sincerity into my tone as I could.
"Are you sure?"
I felt horrible, it was already hurtful to have your father lie to you, but for something like this. I can't even imagine it.
"Hold on," I said in the softest tone I could.
I went to go get the barbarian himself, his son needed to know that he wasn't going to kick the bucket anytime soon.
I found him, still on the floor, holding his crotch, and what looked like what was left of his dignity.
"Hey, troglodyte! Come tell your kid the truth, I'm not here to do your dirty work."
I could tell he was about to argue, but I simply raised one of my eyebrows in a challenge and his survival instincts kicked in.
"Fine"
He stated begrudgingly, undoubtedly not liking the idea of owning up to his responsibilities. I could tell that it wasn't something he did very often.
I pointed to where he was sitting and watched him walk over and kneel down in front of his son.
After a few minutes, I saw the kid stand up and kick him right in-between his legs. The act was followed by him stomping over to the vending machine and getting something, acting as if nothing happened.
"That was amazing," I muttered to myself.
I glanced at the clock on the wall to my right and saw that it was around two.
Jeez, I was dealing with these guys for two hours? I still had about three hours until I needed to get home. Even though my shift was technically over, I was usually here until three.
I always assumed I was a bother but was then reassured by the doctors that I was actually a pretty big help. I doubt it.
I snapped back to reality at the sound of someone calling specifically 'blue eyes'.
"Hey, wanna leave?"
He asked, his eyes shown with annoyance, slight anger, and strangely, intrigue.
"But your dad-"
"Will be fine"
"Ok, if you're sure, but where are we going?"
"I know a place, ready?"
I quickly grabbed my bag from one of the front desk chairs and nodded without a second thought. If he needed someone to talk to, I would be there. Either way I knew how to defend myself, with and without crutches. I could tell by his irked expression that he was used to bad things like this happening. I could be back by five and we would return to our own worlds. As simple as that.
He walked away while laughing at my actions, through the doors with me trailing behind as fast as my crutches would carry me.
I caught up with him as we met the evening air, the sun still shining in the sky, fresh air burning your lungs, all the scents you take in making your head spin. Such a difference from the sterile air inside. I turned slightly to view my company.
I noticed what he had in his hands: 'Takis Fuego".
I guess he caught me staring because he then offered me one and told me that they were his favorite. I couldn't help but smile softly.
They were my favorite too.
-- --
We walked for a while, mostly in comfortable silence. Occasionally, asking each other questions.
He asked me about my injuries and I told him my usual cover story, he didn't believe me but didn't press on for which I was thankful for. I wanted to ask him if he wanted to talk about it, but figured that he would bring it up when he was ready.
So, instead, I asked him where he lived and he said in South Side with his three older siblings. I then told him I had recently moved there myself and as it turns out, we're going to the same school.
As I carefully digested the information, I realized something.
"Hey, I don't know your name."
I said, giggling at our stupidity. He soon registered it as well and in a matter of seconds, we were both snickering messes.
Afterward, I held out one of my hands for him to shake.
"Aphrodite Girasol Lunar, nice to meet you. Odd name, I know."
He held out his hand with a smirk.
"Carl Francis Gallagher, nice to meet you. I think your name is awesome but please don't tell anyone my middle name."
I couldn't help but laugh at his antics.
" I won't and, thank you, Gallagher."
I uttered shyly with my head slightly tilted down, my wavy dark brown hair falling over my eyes to cover my face. It was clear that I wasn't used to compliments.
I was then shocked by his hand reaching down to gently push my hair away from my face. A smirk still etched into his features.
"Gallagher, I like your nickname for me. Now one for you."
"No, that's not necessary!"
I said quickly while blushing because if his previous actions, everyone always butchers my name, some have even called me Afro. And that's a no.
"Come on! It won't be anything bad, I happen to have a talent for it. If you don't like it just tell and I'll move on. I have many lined up already, trust me."
My eyebrows raised on their own accord. My gosh, what a smug tone. But I have to admit, this might be fun. So, I gave a slight smile, sighed, and said,
"Fine"
"Alright! I have a feeling that you don't want to be called Afro."
The aggressive shaking of my head 'no' was answer enough. He laughed and continued.
"Ok, well I think 'Aphrodite' is something more than just a name, am I right?"
"Uh, yeah actually. Aphrodite is the Roman Goddess of beauty and pleasure. She was known for always trying to create unity."
"Hot. So, Goddess, Deity, Beautiful, and Gorgeous are on the table. It would be an accurate description anyway."
And cue blush.
"Your middle name, Girasol, sounds like it might be Spanish?"
I nodded.
"It means sunflower."
I'm sure my awed and impressed tone was more than present now. Nobody had, well, deciphered my name before. No one had ever cared enough.
"So, Sunflower, Meadow, Sunny, Sunshine, or Flower. And Lunar sounds like Luna and has to do with the moon. So, Moonlight!
He finished smiling brightly, I, however, was awestruck.
"So, listen for all of them at school."
"You got it. Although, I have to admit my nickname isn't nearly as special as any of yours."
"It doesn't matter, it's what you call me, and that's what makes it special. Our nicknames for each other belong to each other only, they are sacred."
"I love your logic, Gallagher."
"Thank you, my Sunflower."
And again, cue blush.
-- --
After a few more rounds of 20 questions, we finally reached his mystery destination.
I was shocked to see that it was right next to my home. I had to ask.
"Hey, is that your house?"
"Yeah! I was hoping we could watch a movie. None of my siblings should be in."
"That sounds great! But just a heads-up, I'm your new neighbor."
I pointed out gesturing to my new household.
"Holy shit! That's awesome!"
"Yeah, it is."
And I was being completely honest. I've never had a real friend before. I just hope I don't mess it up.
He invited me in and we spent most of the evening watching movies curled up with snacks and blanket on his couch. Unfortunately, five-o clock rolled around and I had to go.
"Hey, " I conveyed in a soft tone
"I have to go."
"But you just got here!" He whined with the cutest little pout.
"It's been about two hours. My dad wants me home by five, I can come back tomorrow night. Either way, I'll see you at school. In fact, it looks like we'll be seeing a lot more of each other, Gallagher, " I stated with a smile and a small, but happy giggle.
"Fine, I'll see you tomorrow, my Goddess, " and the smirk and blush return. I could tell he didn't want me to go but knew he couldn't stop me. Good, he'll learn that I'm a little stubborn over time.
And with that finishing thought, I kissed his cheek, leaving him speechless for the first time today, and walked out. I was on his porch when he called out and proclaimed,
" I love your blush."
I looked back to see his smirk still in place, but with honesty written in his eyes. And then, standing there with a blush on my face, I realized something.
For the first time in a long time
I was happy.
When I got home I made dinner for my father, thankfully avoiding any conflict, and just laid on my bed. I stared up at my ceiling and cried.
"Thank you, Carl Gallagher, for making me happy. I promise that I'll find some way to repay you." I whispered into the small expanse that is my bedroom.
And I knew it was true.
-- -- --
The next morning I repeated my regular routine and was out of the house by 7:20.
Just enough time to get to school. I was pleasantly surprised to learn that Carl also walked to school. Along with his sister Debby.
She was quite a perky character, but I tell already that we would be friends.
I was shocked to findout that Carl was just as excited to see me as I was to see him. I don't know why, I was certainly nothing special, but I was still happy nonetheless. Carl and I walked ahead in comfortable silence until he interjected with his rustic voice.
"I missed you."
I'm sure that the words were out of his mouth before he realized, but he didn't make the slightest effort to cover it up. Instead, he offered the biggest grin I had ever seen with nothing but admiration written in eyes, shockingly.
"I missed you too,"
I had to admit while looking into his eyes, hoping that he would see nothing but truth sewed into them.
"But you did see me yesterday, "
I pointed out in a teasing manner while smiling softly.
"Doesn't matter. I could spend an entire year with you never leaving my side and I would still miss you the second you leave."
Blue eyes voiced with adoration, and boy did I melt.
No one had ever said something so sweet to me before. But I knew that it would all end when he finds out how useless I really am.
"Thank you, Gallagher. I feel the same way."
I managed to squeak out, ducking my head slightly as an indicator to my shyness. I looked up when I felt smooth but callous finger softly lift my chin. I was met with his bright smile and glimmering eyes. Both were filled with genuine happiness.
And somehow I knew that what we said was true, it might have been one of the most honest things to date.
-- --
The school day was the beginning of many events.
Rumors and bullying. Due to my broken and bruised body.
Respect. Due to my responses to those comments.
Interest. As a result of my advanced placement in certain classes.
And a monumental friendship. Carl and I always had each other's back from that day on.
I helped him academically and with his shenanigans. While I was injured he helped fight my battles physically if the escalated past verbal banter. He ran this school and as weeks (thankfully avoiding my birthday) went on I did as well.
I gained my respect without violence and had everyone on my side, but I was careful to never abuse my power. I could stand my ground, but there was always one person who could bring me down.
Anthony Lunar. Father dearest.
I would never let anyone find out my weakness, I could never let anyone pity me. I couldn't be saved, I didn't deserve to be saved.
And then I met the rest of the Gallagher's.
I truly found my family. People who would stick with me forever.
My ride or dies.
--
Please tell me if I should continue!!!
It's probably horrible. So, assist with constructive criticism please!!
