The devil is a girl. Surprise! Well, here's a few things you should know about the devil.

1) I'm gay. Nothin I can do about it. But those bitch angels keep sending people from the lgtbq community over to me for no reason and the big guy hasn't caught on. I treat them well. Don't worry 'bout it.

2) I'm very pretty for a devil and my name ISNT Lucifer! It's lily dude get it right.

3)I have a lot of power at my fingertips and I don't like being messed with.

4) I want to visit earth. I've been working in literal hell for eternity and let's just say I can't fire myself. I haven't left hell in about 20,00 years. I want a break darnit!

So, I'm taking a vacation. It'll be short, only a year or five years long, but it'll be fun, I'll explore earth, which, if you didn't know, is the home of all predeaths. I always found that so interesting. Almost every single person I have welcomed are sad that they have lived past their earth phase and moved on to their eternity phase.

The lgtbq community has always taken it without being surprised. They have been shouted that they will go to hell for their actions and they have mostly accepted it and decide to make some good out of it. I decided pretty early on that I would tell them that they were originally accepted in heaven but all the angels became homophobic assholes. I don't torture them, I treat them well and they are happy. I'm not gonna torture people over something they can't help, thats why people with previous incurable mental illnesses don't have them anymore and are placed in heaven (even if they did bad things in the past)

It's common sense that angels don't understand.

So with all this vacation stuff, I need to give authority and whatnot. I would choose my best friend, beartie , but he's a little powermad sometimes.

"Archer!" I shout to a big demon, stupid enough to follow orders, smart enough to give orders without going powermad.

Archer grumbles over, putting away his long sword.

"What"

"I need you to take over for me for just a little while." I snap my finger and two things appear. A binder and a pig with wings.

"These are rules and regulations." I hand him the binder. "The most important one is treat people how they deserve to be treated, so don't jab anyone in the suites or who should go to the suites."

I then steer the pig over to archer. The pink pig is small enough to sit on a shoulder without a problem, but it mostly flys on its wings.

"Sheldon will be by your side, if you have any questions or problems, ask her and she'll either answer or tell me Yada yada yada" I snap my fingers again.

A little pig appears on my shoulder, exactly the same, but white.

"I'll have lil henn to transfer anything from you to me, including questions." lil henn oinks.

Archer takes in all the information and then nods. "Okay I'll try my best."

"You better. I don't want to come back to chaos, okay?"

"Alright. Safe adventures!"

I salute to him and exit the way everyone enters.

I don't plan on being safe. I plan of having some excitement and thrill.