Niff College AU, based on a tumblr post
New Jeff On Campus, Chapter One
7am classes were the worst. There was only a few offered, and the one that Nick Duval happened to be in? Chemistry. Gen Chem. Freshman Gen Chem. His first college class was 7am Gen Chem. It's not interesting, there's nothing you can do to make Chem lecture interesting. And especially with this teacher.
Nick chose his seat in the enormous lecture hall carefully. It was one of the largest classrooms on campus, and freshman gen chem was easily the largest class. He sat on the right side of the hall, about halfway up, close enough to the back exit, but still close enough to see the chalkboard. At 6:58, some dudebro with a blond fringe hanging out of his beanie and a huge backpack sat in the seat next to him that Nick was hoping no one would take.
The dudebro set his starbucks down on the table (despite the no food allowed sign on the door of the lecture hall), then pulled a monster out of his backpack. The metallic crack and fizzy hiss of the can being snapped open cut through Nick's actual thoughts about chemistry, and Nick looked over at him.
The dudebro noticed Nick looking, poured his entire monster into his coffee, said, "I'm going to die," and proceeded to drink the entire cup of caffeinated hell.
Talk about an introduction to chemistry.
Blondie set his empty starbucks cup on the floor underneath the table, pulled his laptop out of his backpack, set it on the table, and then turned to Nick.
"This is Chemistry, right?" he asked.
"Yeah," Nick said.
"Thank God, I would hate to have done that for no reason," he replied. "I'm Jeff, resident coffee addict, sophomore, and not wanting to answer questions about why I'm in freshman chemistry."
"Why are you though?" Nick asked.
"Don't ask, don't tell, buddy, I told you," Jeff said. Nick shook his head and looked at his own supplies – the chemistry textbook required for the class, a spiral bound notebook, and a pencil. "Got a name, kid?"
"Nick."
"So, Nick, is this your first college class?"
"It's the first day of classes, and it's 7am," Nick replied, confused.
"Just asking, jeez," Jeff said. He pulled off his beanie, unzipped his sweatshirt, and pulled glasses out of his backpack. Nick was beginning to rethink his original assumption of Jeff being a dudebro. Especially since the t-shirt Jeff was wearing was definitely a band t-shirt. Nick was about to open his mouth to comment on the t-shirt when the professor arrived, and Nick began paying rapt attention, hanging onto every word he said.
Partway through the 50 minute lecture, Nick happened to glance at something besides his own notes or the teacher's illegible scrawl on the blackboard, and it happened to be Jeff's computer screen. He wasn't taking notes, he was scrolling through tumblr. Literally. No wonder he was a sophomore in a freshman chemistry class. Probably his second time taking it. Nick rolled his eyes and returned his attention hastily to the professor in cased he'd missed something.
At 7:50, most students had shoved their crap into their bags and bolted, but since the professor continued speaking until 7:53, Nick clung to his every last word. When the professor finally stopped talking, Nick noticed Jeff still sitting there, staring at him in amusement.
"Tell me something, Nicky, were you the salutatorian of your high school class?" Jeff asked, as Nick put his textbook into his backpack.
"I…. no," Nick said, taken aback by the absurdity of a question like that.
"Third? Fourth?" Jeff continued to guess.
"Yes, third, thanks for bringing it up," Nick said. "How on earth did you know that?"
"You try too hard, like you're trying to make up for the fact that you just missed in high school," Jeff laughed.
"You don't know me," Nick said, slinging his backpack over his shoulder and heading for the back exit to the lecture hall.
"You're right, I don't," Jeff said, following Nick. "I think I need another coffee, want to get some breakfast? I mean, if you had class at 8, you're already late, and you're insane for a freshman."
"No, I don't have another class until 10," Nick frowned.
"Perfect, let's go to breakfast," Jeff said.
"We… don't know each other?" Nick tried to protest.
"Nick, you're in college, it's your first day, the whole campus is your oyster, and we're going to breakfast," Jeff said. "Come on, there's a nice little a la carte in the basement of this building."
Nick started following Jeff down the stairs against his better judgment. At least Jeff didn't seem like he was going to coerce Nick to a secluded place and murder him.
"This is the only place on earth you can get chocolate rice krispie bars, and not the dumb poser kind with the marshmallows on top," Jeff said. "The cookies are amazing and at lunchtime you can get mashed potato bowls."
"Thanks for the info," Nick said, eyeing Jeff warily as he got another large cup of coffee and another can of monster. "Please… don't drink those together again. You really are going to die."
"My young padawan, this is how college students survive. Soon you will be up til 3am studying or procrastinating or trying to sleep with your RA, and you'll sleep right through Chemistry, and you'll wish you'd poured monster in your coffee," Jeff said.
"When you have a heart attack and die, I'll remember this exact moment," Nick said. "I'll even talk about it at your memorial." Jeff sent him an amused look and Nick continued, "On my first day here, Jeff was the first person I met. He sat down next to me in 7am Gen Chem, poured a can of monster into his Starbucks and chugged the whole thing. If there was one thing that I remember about him, it's that he told me I would soon be doing the same. Rest in pieces, buddy." Nick clapped Jeff on the shoulder and made to leave the food court. Jeff didn't follow him, just laughed to himself.
Nick expected the next time he saw Jeff to be in class on Friday, but it was much sooner. At dinner that night, Nick was looking for a place to sit, and to his chagrin, he happened to exchange eye contact with Jeff, who was sitting with just one other person at a table large enough to seat eight (or more if you were ambitious). Jeff cheerily waved over his new friend. Nick walked over and sat with them.
"Nicky, how very corking to see you again. Bastian, this is my new friend Nicky. Nicky, Sebastian. I was literally just telling Bastian about you," Jeff said.
"Oh great," Nick said.
"He said you were funny," Sebastian said. "You look goddamn hilarious."
"I'm adopting him," Jeff told Sebastian. "He's just so cute, how can you not want to?"
"I'm 19," Nick frowned. Jeff didn't take notice, continued babbling to Sebastian for a few minutes, then excused himself to get more food. "Is he on something?" Nick asked Sebastian in an undertone.
"Caffeine and life," Sebastian replied. "Doesn't need much else. I'd hate to see him on anything more."
"I see," Nick said. "Good to know. Does he always randomly adopt people?"
"He randomly adopted me last year," Sebastian said. "We had English Comp together, and we ended up being roommates. He's not crazy, I promise."
"Are you roommates again this year?" Nick asked.
"No, we're both RAs in the freshman dorms," Sebastian said. "But we're in each other's rooms all the time. He has the fourth floor, I've got the first."
"Should have been the other way around, but I guess housing can't be expected to know everything," Jeff said, sitting back down with another tray of food. Nick stared at him, and even Sebastian couldn't believe his ears.
"Did you – did you just…" Sebastian asked.
"Sure did," Jeff grinned. "But we're not a couple," he added to Nick, then turned back to Sebastian, sadly, "You were just a phase I went through."
"Jeffrey Adam Sterling, you literally have a boyfriend, shut your whore mouth," Sebastian exclaimed. "Where is he, anyway? Shouldn't he have been here at 5:30, you know, when we got here?"
"He's always late," Jeff rolled his eyes. Nick couldn't help looking at the clock. It was nearing 6:15. "He'll be here." Nick focused on eating, not sure what to say. He didn't think there really was anything appropriate to say. "So. Tell us a little about yourself, Nicky."
"Uh… I'm Nick. I'm a biochem major, I spent last year interning with a few different places in a hospital where my mom lives… I have a little brother named Cameron, he's… 11. In my spare time, I doodle bubble letters because I want to draw, but I am awful at it," Nick said. He hated talking about himself, as most people do. "You?"
"Jeffrey Sterling, coffee addict, sophomore, biology major, RA on Freddy Fourth, twin sister, boyfriend, and I actually do draw, but as my mother would remind me, there are no careers in that, Jeffrey," Jeff said. He looked at Sebastian interestedly.
"I'm not doing the thing," Sebastian said.
"Humor me."
"Sebastian Smythe, sophomore, RA for Freddy First, only child, single, and I don't do art," Sebastian said.
"You didn't mention the drama club," Jeff said.
"I quit the drama club," Sebastian said. Jeff gasped so loudly that passersby stared.
"How could you quit the drama club?!" Jeff asked indignantly.
"You did," Sebastian pointed out.
"I have a boyfriend, I don't have time for the drama club," Jeff said. "What's your excuse?"
"Kate got elected President," Sebastian said. Jeff pretended to make choking noises like he was being killed or puking, Nick wasn't sure which.
"You've got to show her who's boss," Jeff said.
"Yeah? Where's Tyler?" Sebastian shot back. "Show him who's boss first."
"Shut up," Jeff replied calmly. He reached for the can of monster on his tray, cracked it open and started pouring it into his coffee.
"Jeff, no!" Nick and Sebastian both said at the same time.
"It's too late now!" Jeff exclaimed. "Screw you guys, I have a hot boyfriend, I don't need this bullshit from you." He took his extra caffeinated coffee from the tray, left everything else behind, and stormed out of the dining hall. Nick looked back into his dinner. Sebastian seemed to waffle about whether to run after him or not, but ultimately stayed.
"Sorry about that," Sebastian said to Nick. "It's your first day, you don't need to get messed up in this."
Nick didn't know what to say.
A/N: Hey, leave me a review? Love ya byeeee
