It had been a little over two years, but the dreams never stopped. Some things never leave you, no matter how long it's been. They simply become a part of you, running under your skin like the the paths of termites under the bark of a tree. Yaten. Taiki. They had been her closest companions, and she had watched them die. And still watched them die, night after night, a horrible tape running in her brain over and over. And those girls. Usagi's girls. So many of them, too, were gone now.

The morning brought light, and it was in this light that Seiya managed to put her life back together, such as it was. The music business was where she always imagined she'd end up- though, admittedly, she never thought it would be on the suits side. But the work was pleasant and easy enough, it paid well, and in any case, Yaten and Taiki seemed to have taken her spark of creativity with them as they left this world. So every morning she put on an Oxford shirt and her suitcoat and made people into the idol she'd once been, and tried to think as little as possible about the War. She only saw Usagi sparingly, and when they did meet, they seemed to have little to say to each other. They seemed to meet only because Usagi believed they should, and Usagi's determination to keep her friends was unparalled, especially after she had lost so many. The other girls she hadn't seen since that last day, when they'd finally won, and the world was safe at last.

Rattled by her dream, Seiya decided to cut out early from work. The city was alive with sun and the beginning of summer, and she walked down the street, taking in the feel of it. It was days like this she felt the world had been worth saving, even with everything they'd given up. It was hard to argue with the sound of people laughing and talking, couples walking arm in arm down the street, and even babies crying, it reminded her that life had gone on, and that everything was new. Her reverie was suddenly interrupted, as she passed by the window of a dimly-lit bar. She squinted as she looked inside. No, it couldn't be.

The blonde was bent over the bar, her eyes closed, holding a ring that hung from a chain around her neck against her lips. Her hair was shaggy, almost long, and she was more thin than athletic now, but as Seiya studied her, she realized why she looked so familiar. Haruka. It had to be her. Seiya pushed open the door to the bar. It was even sadder, somehow, than it had looked from the outside, nothing but a collection of people sitting alone, drinking cheap booze and all looking like they had something to drink away. She walked up to the bar, and leaned her body against it, settling in next to Haruka.

"Long time no see."

Haruka opened her eyes, looked at Seiya, and then dramatically turned her head the other direction. "You know, I was just saying, my life could not possibly be more miserable than it is right fucking now." she looked back at Seiya, "But the universe, you see, is on a never-ending goddamn journey to prove me wrong about everything. Because here you are, in your fancy fucking suit, like an agent of the dark goddamn lord."

"You're as pleasant as ever."

"Fuck you." She pressed the glass to her lips, draining it.

"You're drunk."

"You hang out in bars at 2pm for the scenery?"

Seiya realized, with some shame, that she had missed bantering with Haruka. She signaled the bartender for a beer, and slipped her jacket around the back of the barstool. Haruka clumsily asked for another of whatever indeterminate liquor she was drinking, and the bartender served her with a sideways glance.

"You don't have one nice thing to say about me? After all this time?"

Haruka paused for a moment and looked up at the TV in the corner. "Your uniform made me feel a hell of a lot better about mine."

Seiya laughed. "I haven't really thought about my uniform in a long time. They kind of were a huge joke on us both, huh?"

Haruka smiled genuinely, and Seiya, for a moment, felt a surge of pride, "I'll never forget the first time I transformed. A MINISKIRT. And Michiru's trying to make me feel better, talking about Roman soliders…" her voice trailed off sadly, and she absentmindedly rubbed the ring around her neck. "That was a long time ago." Her face darkened again. "What do you want, Seiya?"

She straightened up. Even she wasn't sure, precisely. "To drink this beer and have you shut the fuck up, mostly."

The bartender placed a bowl of peanuts between them, and Haruka pulled them in front of her.

They sat in that bar for 9 more hours, Seiya more slowly, but even she was surprised when they stood up and night had long past fallen over the city. The bartender had given her a strange look when she'd paid the bill- admittedly, she and Haruka had sparred more than they'd reminisced in that ensuing time- not that they cared to bring up the past anyhow, but there was an element of familiarity to it that was like going home for Thanksgiving- no matter how much you argued, there was a tie that could not be separated, something drawing you together for time and eternity.

Stumbling out into the cool night air, Seiya looked at the sky, cloudy and the wind cutting through the streets, picking up leaves and trash in equal measure and spraying them along the boulevard. Seiya buttoned the top of her coat. There was no way Haruka was going to get home without getting rained on, and she didn't trust her not to pass out in back of a cab.

"Ruka-"

"My friends call me Ruka. You, on the other hand," The gesture tipped her off her delicate balance, and she nearly fell over. "can pronounce all goddamn three syllables of my name."

"HA-RU-KA, okay? God. You can't walk home, you'll fucking fall in a gutter and die." Seiya popped up the collar of her peacoat against the wind.

"I'm not that lucky."

The sky cracked overhead, and cold, heavy raindrops started to fall.

Seiya took her arm roughly. "I don't live far from here. Let's go."

Haruka pulled away and shoved Seiya against the wall of the building, harder than Seiya had imagined she was still capable of. Skinny as she had gotten, she was still stronger than she looked. She crossed her arms over her chest and snarled, "I don't have to go anywhere."

A number of beers and an old rivalry came to the surface, and Seiya had enough for one evening. She took off her coat and set it at on the windowsill outside the bar, Haruka looking at her confused for a moment, and then had a fuzzy yet dawnirealization that Seiya wanted to fight her. Seiya grabbed her shoulder, pulled her toward the alley, and tossed her against the building. Haruka came back swinging, and missed with the first but caught Seiya in the stomach on the second. Seiya reeled for a moment, then grabbed Haruka from behind the shoulders and wrestled her to the ground. She might do a little better in a situation where Haruka's wingspan wasn't such a factor, she thought, and she wasn't wrong- pretty soon she had Haruka pinned, both of them covered in rain and alley grime.

And, pinned to the concrete, Haruka began to laugh. "Is this how you usually get girls to go home with you?"

Seiya got up and tried to brush off her suit jacket. It was almost certainly ruined- at best, the cleaner would have a hell of a time with it. She took a long look at Haruka, who was stumbling to her feet. She remembered her as woman who had made deliberate, if occasionally bad, fashion choices, whose hair was always cut perfectly, who always had cologne on, and even when she hadn't liked Haruka, Seiya had always been forced to admit that she had a certain handsomeness to her.

But she barely recognized the Haruka in front of her now. She was skinny, and her hair nearly hit the bottom of her jaw, it had been neglected for so long. Her jeans were torn and dirty, and the t-shirt she wore was easily a size too big, maybe two. The only thing that hadn't seemed to change was the quickness of her temper. For all that Seiya had considered her a rival, it was a disappointment to see her laid so low. She felt a sort of stray dog pity for her. She steadied Haruka with her hand, and smiled.

"C'mon, you asshole. Just 'til the rain stops, then I'll call you a car."

Haruka examined the contents of Seiya's apartment carefully. Awards lined her mantle from organizations Haruka had never heard of and never cared to. Truthfully, Seiya didn't care all that much either. But it was something to remind her that life went on, no matt what had happened in the past. And if she had lost the will and the spark to sing, at least she had other talents.

Haruka cradled the bottle of vodka in one hand. "So, you've done pretty good for yourself, I guess. Fancy place."

Seiya shrugged. "It's okay."

Haruka snorted. "It's a penthouse, Seiya, knock it off with the false modesty. It's like the house version of your usual, 'look how great I am'" She picked up a photo of Seiya, Yaten, and Taiki and studied it, but simply set it back down.

Seiya rose to her feet and headed back to the bedroom. She was tired, and drunk, and cranky, d in no mood for Haruka's crap. Why'd she even bothered bringing her back anyhow? And the clap of thunder reminded her. Haruka followed her in, and sat of the end of the bed.

"Is this where all the magic happens or what? I bet you have all kinds of groupies-"

Seiya lay down on the bed and closed her eyes. "Shut up, asshole, go to sleep."

Haruka flopped down on her back and Seiya pulled her onto her side, "Not on your back, that's how Hendrix died, idiot."

Haruka rolled over and took another pull from the bottle, and before Seiya could say anything, she fell asleep.

There was a flash, and a crack burst the air.

"Taiki!" Seiya ran to his side, her thoughts racing. Not Taiki, no, no.

The wound was bad. His eyes already had that distant glaze, his breath came short and ragged. She put a hand on his shoulder. "Hang in there, buddy, we'll have you writing shitty poetry in no time."

"I-I- don't know…Seiya." The blood began to pool around Seiya's knee. "Seiya."

"It's gonna be fine, It's gonna be fine,-"

Seiya stirred from her sleep, and looked around at her bedroom for a moment, catching her bearings. Just another memory floating to the surface in the dark, like so many nights before.

Haruka was restless, talking in her sleep and turning over and back again, pulling her knees to her chest. . God, we were drunk. I can't believe we're laying in the same bed. I can see Michiru giggling now. Haruka began to pant, and call out, her eyebrows knitted with grief.

"No, no, no, no. Please no. Please." A sob broke through. "Michi!"

Seiya shook her aggressively, "Haruka, wake up. You're having a nightmare."

Haruka blinked slowly, and sat up, a tear still dripping down her face. "It's- I-I mean"

"I have them too- They've never stopped." She put her hand on Haruka's shoulder, then quickly drew it away, shaking her head

Haruka laid back down, her face twisted in pain, "I would rather feel anything else. But no matter how much I.."

Seiya gave a heavy sigh. "You can drink the whole sea, Haruka, it's still gonna be there."

At the word sea, Haruka swallowed hard, reached over to the side of the bed and took another drink.

"Stop. Stop. Bad choice of words." Seiya leaned over Haruka and set the bottle back down on the floor, "You're going to puke in my bed, and then I'll be really pissed." She paused over the top of her for a moment, and looked at her, Haruka's eyes downcast and a haunted look on her face. "We're not that different, you and me."

Haruka shrugged half-heartedly. "Yeah, I guess that was the problem. But, nothing left to fight over now."

A strange compulsion came over her, and she tucked Haruka's over-long hair behind her ear. "You need a haircut."

"I need a lot of things." She looked up into Seiya's eyes, and Seiya saw the same loneliness and pain that she knew so well. It was like a scar that matched her own, and before she could stop herself, she leaned into Haruka and kissed her.

She would never be able to describe what had driven her to that. Maybe the alcohol, or the special quality the night takes on in the early morning hours, just raw need after years of isolation, or maybe it was Haruka what had said, the need to feel anything else at all. It felt like being in a foreign country, being with Haruka. Strange and exciting, and a thousand surprising moments of familiarity, like tiny points of lights in the darkness. Kissing led elsewhere, two bodies tangled in the sheets, not knowing what they were searching for or why, but searching for it with each other. It was not unpleasant, this strangeness of exploring Haruka, and being explored by her, and she couldn't decide whether the joy of it was the actual orgasm or simply the sensation of being touched by another human being, without having to invent a lie about her scars, and her dreams, and the faraway look in her eye. Just two broken people, tired of hiding their brokenness.

Haruka sat at the end of the bed, head hung and rubbing the back of her neck. She'd gotten dressed already, somehow, without Seiya noticing. It must have been a wilder night than she'd thought.

"I didn't expect you up so early" Seiya rolled over in bed and pulled on a t-shirt.

"I have to go. I shouldn't have stayed here." She picked up her bag and drew it across her body, and Seiya noticed the subtle shake in her hand. "I need to go feed my cat."

Seiya rolled her eyes at the excuse, but called after her. "Haruka?"

"Yeah?"

She sighed, "Take care of yourself."

Seiya found herself drifting from her thoughts at work. Some executive talking about a little 20-something model they'd managed to autotune, and she was going to be the next big thing, and there's a lot of money in this for everyone, but she kept letting her thoughts turn to the blonde butch who'd shared her bed last night. She couldn't define what it was. She didn't love Haruka, not really, not the way she was used to. But there was comfort in her. Maybe Seiya could be a comfort to her. It wasn't something she ever could have imagined- but, she reasoned, the War had changed everything. Had changed all of them. So much loss. So much pain. Losing someone else to the War seemed unthinkable. She suddenly felt guilt for never asking Usagi about the other girls, how they were coping, how they were moving on. The answer with Haruka was, quite obviously, 'not'. She had only ever cared how Usagi had done or felt, and it now felt short-sighted.

"Seiya?"

"What? Yes?" Her head snapped up, and she looked at the group staring at her from the other side of the table.

"So, what do you think?"

And so it was somewhat in spite of herself that Seiya got a pizza after work and wound up knocking on a door she never thought she'd see again. It wasn't as if she had spent a great amount of time over there before the War, either- despite Usagi's best efforts, she and Haruka had never really brokered a peace. As Mina, God rest her, had once suggested, it may have helped if she hadn't flirted with Haruka's wife all the time. She chuckled at the memory. They had all seemed so young then. She never could have imagined the War would have gone the way it did, even though they'd been warned. Twelve Senshi had come against the enemy, and four had stood in the ruins of their own lives at the end of it. So many funerals. Tearful families, who never really understood what happened to their children. A terrible secret we all had to share.

The gloomy memory was interrupted by the opening of the door in front of her. Haruka stood there, in a worn black cardigan over a soft green t-shirt, a small grey cat with a pink glitter collar nestled in the crook of her arm, purring happily. Haruka was seemingly as surprised to see Seiya as Seiya was to be there.

"You do have a cat. I thought you were making excuses."

Haruka looked to the cat, and then back at Seiya, still puzzling over what she was doing on her doorstep. "This is Mouse. They got him for me after…everything."

"Your boy cat has a pink sparkle collar?"

The little cat nuzzled into Haruka's neck, and she gently laid her cheek on its back. "Usagi bought it. Sorry, I didn't know we were so concerned about gender roles, lesbian in a man's suit. Come in, it's freezing."

Seiya stepped in and followed Haruka into the living room, setting the pizza down on the coffee table. There was a quilt laying over the couch, barely covering a pillow, and a pile of t-shirts on the floor. A bottle sat on the coffee table with a glass next to it, a few swallows still left inside.

"You sleep down here?"

Haruka sat down in an oversized armchair with a sigh. "Sometimes. Upstairs is- well-" she shrugged, and Seiya nodded. Haunted. That was why Seiya had sold the place she'd lived with Yaten and Taiki. Every room she went into had the echo of their voices.

The mantle was lined with pictures in coordinating wood frames, like an altar to a life gone by. Michiru's work, Seiya was sure. Michiru and Haruka cuddling on the grass, both smiling. Mina wearing an "I'm 21" crown, popping open a bottle of champagne. Ami posing with her acceptance letter from medical school. Rei scowling playfully as Usagi hugged her tightly. The biggest one, in the middle, was a group photo, with all of them tucked in close, Michiru and Haruka in the middle, glowing.

Her fingers touched the edge of the frame. They all looked so happy. "This must have been from your wedding."

"Yeah." Haruka never looked up from the little grey cat on her lap, but rubbed the ring around her neck reflexively.

There was a tan envelope sitting there, sandwiched between Hotaru's senior picture and a beaming Pluto blowing out her birthday candles. It read simply "Haruka" in an elegant script. Seiya picked it up and turned it over. Still sealed.

She turned to Haruka and held up the envelope. "What's this?"

"That," she took a drink, "is a letter my wife wrote me just before she was killed." Haruka gently dumped the cat off her lap, rose to her feet, and walked toward Seiya.

"She wrote this to you? She must have known-"

"She knew." Haruka took it out of Seiya's hands and put it back on the shelf. "I don't read it."

"Aren't you curious? Hell, I'm curious."

"It'll just make things worse. Her saying good- you know, I just don't want to read it, okay?"She snapped at Seiya, "And its mine, so I'll do whatever I want with it."

"Why even keep it, then? Just to torture yourself? That's healthy."

"I can't just-" her voice cracked, and she turned away from Seiya. "Why do you care? What are you doing here?"

Seiya raised a hand in peace. "Hey, hey, cool it. I just brought over dinner. I was just thinking…you're a miserable asshole, nobody likes you, you could probably use some company. My job likes it when we do charity work."

Haruka sat on the edge of the couch, shoulders slumped. "I should probably eat something anyways."

Seiya clapped her on the shoulder and smiled, "That's the spirit! C'mon, we're gonna have to warm up this pizza. It's freezing out."

There was a chalkboard in the hallway, which read, in a large, rough script:Have you eaten today? Have you had some water? I'll be by on Tuesday with groceries.

The door opened, and there was a call from the door. "Haruka! It's me!" The footsteps worked their way into the kitchen, and Haruka slowly stood up and followed after them.

"Did you order a pizza?" The familiar voice called out, "And you're eating it! That's- Oh, there you are."

Seiya couldn't quite make out Haruka's voice, but heard the response. "You have a friend over?" The footsteps moved toward the living room, and Seiya lifted her eyes to see Rei appear, her expression somewhat puzzled. "Ruka, I was really proud, but now I'm confused."

"That's Seiya. Seiya Kou? You may remember, we all kept the world from ending?" Haruka maneuvered around Rei and sat back down on the couch.

Rei put her hands on her hips. "Yeah, and last time we were all together, you put your fist in her face, so don't act like I'm the goddamn idiot here. When was the last time you had a glass of water?" Her voice was more demanding than nurturing, and it was pleasant to see, no matter what happened, some things would always be the same. She didn't wait for a response from Haruka, just went into the kitchen.

Haruka smiled at Seiya. "Rei checks in on me every so often."

Seiya got up off the couch. "I think I'm gonna go grab something to drink, be right back." She walked into the kitchen, where Rei was busy empty a cloth grocery sack. "It's good of you to look after Haruka, Rei."

She never looked up from sorting her groceries. "So glad I have your approval, now I can die happy. Nice to see you after two years."

Rei's opinion of Seiya didn't seem to have changed much over the years. She had always been prickly, and the War hadn't made any of them more likely to win Miss Congeniality. She'd thought staying away was best, but maybe she'd been wrong. She'd been wrong about a fair amount of things, admittedly, and the other night had only made things make less sense.

She tried to keep it casual and upbeat, "So, you seeing anyone?"

"Dating doesn't exactly go, for me."

"You're a really cute girl, Rei, and-"

"What do you think I should do, Seiya? Hi, my name's Rei! The girl I had a crush on for years was murdered in an intergalactic war that also killed all my friends! Except, of course, the one who's a fucking alcoholic mess that I spend my spare time trying to keep from dying. Coffee?"

Casual and upbeat didn't seem to be working. "Well, you forgot to mention me and Usagi."

Rei laughed, "You're right, that will sweeten the pot for any girl." She looked away for a minute, and then came back to Seiya. "I'm not really looking. I wasn't looking when I found Mina, either. She just…was. And I should have told her…every day I had a shot at it." The sadness left her face was replaced by a much more familiar and safe emotion, irritation. "Listen, if you're here on some mission from God or whatever, you can beat it. We don't need you or your pity."

"It's not pity. I'm one of you."

"Mmmmm, no. Not really." She strolled out of the kitchen, glass of water in hand.

Seiya grabbed a soda out of Rei's grocery bag. No wonder she'd only talked to Usagi.