DOCTOR'S ORDERS
Agent Mulder and Agent Scully enter the office of Dr Kosseff . They both seem wary. It's the first time they get summoned by a health professional together.
"Hello agents. Please do sit." Says the doctor in a friendly manner. Mulder nods and sits down.
"Hello, nice to meet you." His expression is hard to read by the doctor, but Scully can tell he is not comfortable at all with this visit. Typical Mulder didn't liked people intruding on his life suddenly. She knows the professional in front of her so she is more relaxed.
"Hello Dr Kosseff."
"Hello ,Dana" Mulder tenses his jaw thinking there was something else he didn't knew about her. Scully unlike him had a life outside the walls of the X-Files office. The psychiatrist doesn't seem as content to see her as she usually is. She clears her throat and places her hands on the surface of the desk in a non threatening gesture Scully knew very well. This can't be good she thought.
"So you recently went through the annual physical exam for the Bureau. It might seem strange that you were sent here afterwards, but we have some new goals for the government agencies and the health metrics for their employees. It's important to treat all members in need of assistance." Scully frowns and shifts uncomfortably in her seat. Mulder eyes her suspiciously. She shrugs, not knowing what to expect. The doctor continues with her speech.
"Both of you score well in fitness and overall mental health, but I'm afraid your stress levels are higher than the acceptable standards of the FBI." She hands Scully and Mulder their charts. Mulder is not familiar with the metrics, but Scully's eyes grow three times their size.
"How is that even possible?" She says out-loud. She looks at Mulder and he can tell this is serious.
"I was hoping you could tell me. It is the physician's belief that it might be something happening at work ." Scully frowns.
"Well The X-files is not the easiest job to have. We not only have to deal with ...unusual criminals we also have to justify our expenses and our very existence to the FBI constantly...Maybe that is the reason for this numbers." She said, Mulder just nods.
"I don't doubt that is true. But the cortisol levels and blood pressure both of you present are higher than agents that had worked in war zones or infiltrated terrorist groups. It is a high stress dangerous job ,but it still is too high for what you are doing. Won't you agree?" Scully seems to space out looking at her charts.
"Yes...It is too high." Mulder is quietly trying to reflect on the condition.
"Has any of you have a recent personal loss or a particular incident that might have triggered this...numbers?" She said looking at Mulder this time.
"Not, recently." Mulder didn't counted his constant pain over Samantha as something that could have made this happen. He was always worried about her. Scully shakes her head. Her cancer was in remission and she finally came to terms with Emily's dead. Asides from the normal issues at work she didn't felt particularly burdened, at least not consciously.
"Very well. I would like to send an observer to your office to take some notes and if possible a camera to record a few days of your work day to see if there is anything in particular that stands out."
"It's that really necessary?" Mulder said in a slightly accusatory tone. He obviously suspected the worst. Scully stops him in his tracks.
"Sure, we'll love to." She said, Mulder got quiet at once knowing her partner must have a reason and will explain as soon as they are out of the office.
"Very well. I will see you when we have the reports ready." The doctor said and dismissed both agents. Scully and Mulder exit the room. They don't talk about the visit until they are inside the elevator.
"Why did you said that? This might be a trap!" He was clearly exasperated.
"Mulder I'm familiar with this protocol I don't think they will be this blatantly obvious." She looked away trying to think about old worries she hasn't been paying attention but should.
"What is it?" Mulder said aware that this movement was something she only did when she wanted to share something and wasn't sure.
"It might not be part of your medical history, but my father died of a heart attack. He was not a heavy drinker, was in relatively good shape and he quit smoking decades before his dead. It might have been the stress that killed him. " He frowns."I think is a good idea we should try to cooperate. Our levels are too high is not normal for our age and occupation and we should fix it now before it's too late for recovery." He nodded.
"I'll defer to your expertise then." He said before darting outside the elevator.
"Where are you going? Scully said.
"To check her records and make sure we are not being set up." He said winking at her. Scully rolled her eyes.
"I don't even know why I ask anymore..."
Mulder didn't found anything suspicious in Dr Kosseff's records so he relaxed. The camera was installed shortly after. He was very aware of it at the beginning, but after a few hours he forgot it was even there. Scully seemed to be guarded slightly longer, but she also forgot soon enough. Meanwhile Mulder tried to see if there were any environmental factors that might be affecting them. Sent samples of the water in their water cooler to analyze. Scully walked with him when he was scratching some paint from the walls.
"Certain substances might be causing an increase levels of cortisol." He said
"You think now that they are slowly poisoning us here in one of the most secure buildings on this country?" She said having a hard time hiding a smile.
"You never know..." Mulder said in a biting tone. Scully shrugged and continued doing paperwork while his partner placed the samples on small plastic envelopes that will go to labs he trusted.
ONE WEEK LATER
"So I had the time to review the tapes and I had some interesting issues to discuss with you agents. Would you rather do it separately?" Mulder frowns Scully looks at him before answering.
"I don't see why would that be necessary. Both of us were evaluated together so the conclusions can be disclosed in our presence."
"Good. I personally prefer it this way too. Saves time" She accommodates her glasses on her face and reads her clipboard.
"So according to my notes 50% of your interactions are very positive, constructive and even thought you usually don't have all the facts to actually solve a case you do gather more evidence and bring the information that inform your specific area of expertise." She takes her glasses off to look at both agent's faces.
"I must note that I considered this assignment very enriching regardless of my personal take on the paranormal and unexplained..." Mulder smiles.
"But..." Scully said.
"The other 50% you seem to go out of your way to irritate each other for no reason." Mulder and Scully look at each other with curiosity.
"Agent Mulder you seem to try and micromanage Agent Scully's schedule, are prone to leave vitals bits of your information from the exposition of the cases. Not to mention all the times you seem to be absent without leaving any clues of your whereabouts...That on itself is not a problem except that this obviously bothers Agent Scully. Would you agree with this assessment of my observations?" She said calmly Mulder takes a deep breath and nods. Scully's smile is so wide that it looks she could burst a muscle. The doctor looks at her now.
"Agent Scully, you seem to go out of your way to find flaws in Agent's Mulder arguments. He leaves late and comes early just to gather together as much evidence as possible for a case. Sometimes days of work and you seem to want to debunk them in about five minutes after his exposition. Is almost like you rather not go into the field to investigate at all. Again this wouldn't be an issue except your partner seems very disillusioned for this behavior. Does this sound like your daily interactions?" Scully's mind races trying to refute her claims, but after a long silence, she finds out that she can't and just nods in response.
"Any idea why you try so hard to get in each other nerves? Resentment from past cases? Or a recent one?"
"Not that I'm aware of." Scully says, Mulder stares at her and just shakes his head.
"Do you spend any amount of time outside the office together?" The both look away waiting for the other to answer. Scully opens her mouth tentatively.
"Sometimes..." Dr Kossef lifts her eyebrows. Scully avoids her eyes. Mulder completes the answer.
"Almost every weekend..." Scully nods in agreement trying not to look too guilty.
"In person?"
"Half the time, is phone calls." Scully says, trying to mitigate the confession.
"So you think of each other as friends?" The both smile in synchrony.
"Yeah."
"Sure."
"Good. I want to try something different then. Today is Friday I want you to take a real break from each other. Not visits or phone calls. Try to relax this weekend and come back for a new test on Monday morning. Even the best friendships need some breathing room." Both Mulder and Scully seem rather taken aback.
"That seems rather extreme..."
"I could always recommend you a temporary reassignment instead..." Scully opens her mouth slightly. Mulder interrupts.
"That won't be necessary" Scully nods.
"Thank you agents...See you next week!" They both leave less happy than how they arrived.
"Are you sure this is not a trap?" Mulder said Scully this time can only shrug.
"Should we try to cheat..?"
"I don't think we can...If this is a trap they would be spying on us..."
"But if they want us apart, it might be to get at one of us."
"Or they know we won't obey and use this as an excuse for a temporary separation...That might be permanent" Scully says sighing. Mulder sighs too. Both seem completely unaware of how strongly they feel about a short separation.
"Okay, here is the deal if anything happens, call your mother and tell her to call me. I'll call her so she can call you if something happens in my end." Scully agreed. This seemed to make them feel slightly better. Yet, they both seemed to spend the rest of the day completely upset over the prospects of the weekend. At the end of the day they both walked quietly to the parking lot. It was almost empty, most employees already gone. They both stood next to the door of their cars. Waiting for the other to open their door first.
"Well I guess it will be nice to take a break..." Scully said begrudgingly.
"Try not to get in trouble..." Mulder said, winking and smiling. She nodded biting her lips. They both stood there until a car passed by and the lights startled them. They both opened their doors at the same time. While Scully slowly buckled up, Mulder stared at her longingly. She looked up and upon meeting his eyes, he smiled and opened his hand to wave goodbye. He left first and Scully followed his car with her eyes until it disappeared in the distance. She breathed in, shook her head and turned on the ignition.
MONDAY AFTERNOON
"I'm really disappointed. Specially on you Agent Scully, as a health professional you should know how important these tests are." Scully and Mulder just look confused.
"What? We did what you asked?"
"Did you...?" The doctor doesn't bother to give them the folder anymore.
"Your levels are twice as high...I mean did you go bungee jumping or parachuting on the middle of a war zone?"
"No! I stayed at home and did nothing..."
"Me too..."The doctor doesn't seem convinced.
"Did you worked on a case even if over the phone?"
"No!" They both said.
"Something had to happen. I mean a relaxing weekend at home shouldn't increase your levels.." Mulder lifted his index.
"I was at home ,but I was not relaxed..." Mulder said, his eyes quickly flickering to Scully.
"How so?" The doctor said a suspicious tone in her voice.
"Well I was doing some research in some information and I needed to consult Scully and couldn't." Dr Koseff rested her head on her hands.
"And that happened the entire weekend?"
"More or less..."
"Only for work issues?" She said her voice slightly higher. Mulder cleared his throat.
"Well we are friends I also wanted to share something interesting, I read."
"You have to excuse him. He doesn't really know how to relax." Dana said, trying to hide the smile she had on her face.
"You didn't do any better...Did you also wanted to...share something with Mulder and couldn't?"
"No...I..." She cleared her throat. "Agent Mulder here has a tendency to impulsiveness and I was worried he was going to use this time apart to jump first, ask questions later...I was worried he was going to get himself hurt...Again"
"I'm not impulsive! You know the people we are against could erase the evidence if we don't get to it fast..." he said so defensively that he raised his voice unconsciously for a second. He stopped himself, realizing the look the doctor was giving him.
"Please Mulder, you know that half the time you don't verify your sources..." Suddenly Scully realized that Dr Kosseff was taking notes. "We normally get along better..." Scully said, trying to hide the panic this little detail gave her. Her evaluation might end up separating them for real this time. Mulder understood the gravity right away.
"Yeah we might get a bit frustrated with each other, but we really are a good team..." Dr Kosseff smiled sympathetically.
"I wasn't thinking about separating you if that is what you are worried about..." She said calmly. Both Mulder and Scully sighed in relief.
"Agent Scully would you mind stepping out a few minutes. I want to run a different set of tests and is better if I do it individually." Scully froze in her seat for a moment, but stood up slightly confused. Mulder gave her a worried look. Dr Kosseff was digging through her drawers and retrieved a folder.
"This is a very simple word association test. I'm sure you are familiar with those?"
"A bit yes. I was never a counselor, but I remember those from my time in college. You say a word and I should say the first thing that comes to mind, rhight?."
"Exactly!" She stroke down something on the page. "Shall we begin?" Mulder nodded.
"Bat"
"Baseball"
"Apple"
"Pie"
"Scully"
"Sexy...I mean science, science..." Mulder's face turned all shades of red. He fidgeted with his tie. Dr Kosseff without changing her professional tone made a note. "I wasn't thinking...I was distracted...Can we start over?" He asked. She smiled.
"I think I heard enough, Agent Mulder. Can you go out and tell Agent Scully to come in?" Mulder's rubbed his temples with his fingers. He stood up and walked to the door. When his hand was on the handle he turned around.
"I have a terrible porn addiction, everything looks sexy to me...I swear I..."
"You don't have to worry Agent Mulder. Only the parties involved and myself will know the results." He nodded and breathe in.
"Scully you're up." He said, Scully tried to search his eyes for some reassurance of how things went but he avoided them. She frowned.
"Please take a seat, Agent Scully" She sat down and crossed her legs.
"We are going to do a free word association test. Had you taken one before?" She shook her head. The doctor explained to her what to do and they started.
"Rain"
"Water"
"Color"
"Red"
"Mulder"
"Penis...I mean pencil... He throws pencils at the ceiling... I misspoke." Agent Scully face turned as red as her hair.
"Agent Scully you have nothing to worry about..." She stood up and went to the door. Scully panicked.
"You know Freud has been debunked by science? Sex slips usually mean the entire opposite of sex." She said hoping to stop whatever the doctor was thinking of doing. Dr Koseff opened the door.
"Agent Mulder please come on in..." Mulder came inside and sat down next to Scully. They were both looking in the opposite direction of each other.
"It might seem unorthodox to talk to you guys together. But in my experience is better if you both hear what I'm about to say. It causes less confusion." She cleared her throat. Both agents were quiet.
"First is very common for agents to develop feelings for each other. You spent a lot of time in intense, dangerous situations and is normal that trust might be confused with deeper feelings or becomes romanticized, eroticized. " Mulder closes his eyes, waiting for the backlash. Scully bites her lips nervously. Dr Koseff continues.
"I have encountered this situation regularly during all my years in the FBI. And as it happens this is probably the simplest case I had to deal with in recent time. Neither of you has a romantic partner so I won't need to recommend marriage counseling and both of you seems to have developed this feelings for each other at the same time, so is not a situation of one sided attraction..." Both Mulder and Scully frowned looking up to her face to see if they heard right and quickly glanced at each other. They still avoided each other's eyes, but at least they seemed more relaxed in their chairs.
"So you both obviously had decided not to pursue or explore these feelings. For I can only imagine are good biggest problem is that in your effort to keep your relationship professional you are channeling these feelings in negative ways. The friction is completely unconsciously manufactured and is affecting your health. What do you think? Would you agree this is what is going on?" The doctor pauses, both quickly glance at each other.
"Maybe." Scully says Mulder just shrugs.
"Now what you need to do diffuse these feelings somehow. Secrecy and repression just make this kind of emotions grow and take a bigger meaning than they would have otherwise. You need to discuss openly your reasons in order to be able to handle your relationship in a positive matter. 90% of agents move on from these feelings once they have these conversations." Both agents don't see convinced.
"I know both of you want to protect your friendship, but trust me the more you keep quiet the more tension would be and this is obviously dangerous not only to your health also to your work."
"Is that really necessary I mean, if its not a big deal it will resolve on its own isn't it?"
"I'm afraid not. The only other option is permanent separation. Distance and time can help you deal with these emotions without the pressure of seeing or talking to each other. It's that what you want?" Mulder shakes his head.
"No." Scully says quietly.
"Very well. Normally I would suggest a public place for the first discussion, but it seems that both of you are private people. Each other apartments are not a good place. The party that has to host will feel more vulnerable and given the amount of time you spend in each other privates residence this could be a problem in either. I could arrange a lab or an office unless you had a friend or relative that could allow them to use their home?" Mulder thinks.
"My friends might let us use their place for a few hours it's very safe ..."
"No...that place is full of recording devices." Scully suddenly says looking at him for the first time since they started talking.
"They will turn them off if I ask."
"I don't trust they would...My mother is visiting Bill in Germany we can use her house."
"I need to check it for bugs first..." The doctor looks at her watch. "Very well. You can continue working on your arrangements. But please do not touch this subject until you are in a safe space to discuss it. And next week I want a report with all the reasons you shouldn't pursue a romantic relationship, signed by both of you." Mulder frowns. He was hoping he could just fake it.
"A joint report?' Scully said, lacing her fingers together.
"I'm afraid I need the assurance that both of you discussed this." They both nodded and left.
A WEEK LATER
Mulder showed up to Margaret Scully's residence. He knocked, the door and hoped that Scully wouldn't open. She does but she doesn't look any happier than he is.
"Please come in." She said not looking at his face. She was wearing sweats and an oversize shirt. Her hair was perfectly combed so this seems like a deliberate wardrobe choice. Mulder is wearing the jeans and black turtleneck with leather jacket he normally uses when he is stalking a subject. He was ready to chase even the flimsiest clue, the second he felt he couldn't speak to Scully anymore. He got inside and closed the door begrudgingly. He was familiar with the house, but wouldn't dare to sit before Scully asked. He was still hoping she will ask him to leave.
Scully was hoping he would not show up, but now that he was here she just wanted to get it over with.
"Please do sit, we need to talk"
"Do you want to sign it first?" Mulder asked offering Scully a pen. Sitting on the carpet next to her he was smiling, not avoiding her eyes for the first time in days.
"Sure." She said she took a sip of her ice tea before taking the paper and the pen. The conversation that had started awkward and painful, became easier and sincere after a few minutes. Upon discovering how much they valued their friendship and how different their goals in life where they realized that pursuing an attraction would be a huge mistake. Now less burdened by these feelings things felt more relaxed between them. She wrote her signature and Mulder did the same.
"...And done!" He put the handwritten pages on the coffee table while stretching his arms and legs.
"That was easier than I was expecting..." Scully said, leaning back on the couch.
"Yes, is like the weight of the world has been lifted from my shoulders"
"Yeah... Isn't it kind of silly we made such a big deal out of this?" She said remembering how reluctant were they to talk about this openly.
"Yes...I guess we underestimated our maturity."
"Yes I mean is obvious that anything more than friendship between us wouldn't work. I want a normal life and a family..."
"And I just want to find my sister and pursue the paranormal..."
"We rarely ever agree." She said remembering so many arguments.
"Our point of views are entirely different..." Mulder said also thinking all the times they infuriated each other during their investigations.
"So logically we had to keep our distance."
"We need to give credit to ourselves...Most people would have ended in such a mess." Mulder said satisfied looking at the ceiling not thinking about anything at the time.
"Ugh such a mess...Just because of a biological imperative..." Scully said. Pondering how this attraction had developed at all. It had to be an evolutionary reproductive impulse.
"Not even a vital one..." Mulder added keeping in line with the scientific reasoning.
"Yeah no one dies for lack of sex..."
"You might feel like dying but that it's not the case. " He said carelessly. Scully was taken by surprise by this earnest comment.
"Do you feel like dying, Mulder?" He suddenly felt embarrassed by what he said. He shakes his head.
"It's a guy thing...just an exaggeration." Scully doesn't like the comment.
"Don't make it about gender, women also have needs and they can be really...distracting too..." Scully said looking at the glass in her hand. There is a pregnant pause an awkward silence, neither of them knows how to fill. Mulder tries to say something and Scully looks at him, opening her mouth at the same time. But the silence doesn't end there. They just stare at each other not sure of what to do next. There is something going on with both of them there is not relaxation anymore just pressure, just warmth.
"I got to go" Mulder finally is strong enough to say.
"Yes...chasing another lead?"
"Laundry... I have to do it at least once in a while." He chuckled
"You?" "Laundry, cleaning, the usual weekend excitement..."
"Try not to get your stress level too high with those exciting activities. We have that test again on Monday."
"I'll do my best" Scully said chuckling. She walked him to the door. Suddenly she felt content again and so did Mulder. Things were going as the doctor said.
"I'm glad we can put this behind..." She said smiling. Mulder smiled back.
"Me too."
Scully hug him goodbye or so she tried. Once their arms are around each other they stay like this for longer than they usually do. Longer than is polite, longer than anyone that just decided that being friends was the right choice should. Neither of them is breaking the embrace. Their bodies warming up to the touch.
"I'm just waiting for you to let go..." Mulder whispered. Resting his head on the top of Scully's. He inhaled the intoxicating fragrance of her reddish hair, leaving him in a daze.
"I was waiting for the same thing" She said, brushing her nose in the crook of his neck. He smells so good, she thought. More time passed and they slowly kept strengthening their embrace.
"We should let go." Mulder said the blood on his veins pounding all over his body.
"Yes,we should." Scully answered slightly dizzy with his scent. Consciously both were aware this was a terrible idea and they should let go. But their bodies seemed to have decided to act on their own for the first time in all these years they had taken orders from their logical brains.
"I have an idea...we count to three and we let go at the same time." Scully said with pain on her lips.
"Okay" Mulder sighs resigned to stop surrounding her heavenly body with his arms.
"One, two, three..." They moved their heads just far away enough to see each other faces and without a break their lips touched in a kiss. They started slow and tentative and grew passionately and desperate.
"This is so stupid..." Scully said her mouth, sucked at Mulder's bottom lip with gentle force.
"Yes...So stupid" He said out of breath, his mouth opened to receive her tongue. They explored each other's ravenously. Scully drew her hands towards his chest. Mulder's hands slide down to cup Scully's bottom.
"We should stop..." Mulder said. His hands not leaving her body.
"You first..." Scully answered without the will to do it herself.
"I've been trying to stop for the last ten minutes." He said lifting her up. Her legs wrapped around his waist and he backed her against the door. Mulder had enough mind to carry her up and close the door kicking it with his foot. They both, know they are past the point of no return so better not to let any neighbors watch.
"Oh God...this is the worst idea ever."
"...Terrible idea." Scully started to remove Mulder's clothes. He walked towards the couch. Scully without taking a break from kissing the back of his ear whispered to him.
"No the couch...let's go upstairs." He carried her upstairs to the room she normally used to sleep when visiting her mother. With Mulder's help, she got out of her pants and she helped Mulder to finish taking his clothes off until he is in his boxers and Scully is only wearing a bra and panties.
"We are being so irrational right now" She said while her lips traced a line of kisses on his neck.
"So irrational..." He said, nibbling at her ear. They fell into bed and Scully removed her bra so he can continue his oral exploration on her breasts. His lips, touched every inch of her sensitive zones. She helped him out of his boxers before he removed her panties.
"Oh God that was so stupid...amazing but stupid" Scully said holding Mulder's hand over the sheet. Both are laying next to each other looking at the ceiling.
"Yeah it was an amazing terrible idea..." He said, lacing his fingers lazily with hers.
"I had never had done anything so stupid and wonderful in my entire life." He said kissing the knuckles of her hand.
"Me neither..." She said biting her lip with joy.
"We are not any better than most people apparently."
"Not even a little..." They both laughed thinking about nothing just enjoying the closeness of each others's naked bodies.
"Well think of it this way Mulder. At least we will pass the test next week. I never felt more relaxed and you don't look too stressed out yourself."
"Are you sure?" Mulder ask with a smirk.
"Well I'm not one hundred positive we only had sex once. Theoretically we should had lowered our cortisol to acceptable levels" Mulder turns around to look at her.
"We should make sure... We are going to pass the next test" He said wiggling his eyebrows. She smiled.
"Yes we should..." She said, drawing his face towards her with her free hand.
MONDAY AFTERNOON.
"I'm very proud of you two agents. Your stress levels are completely within normal range. I knew a mature conversation about your feelings will solve this problem."
"Yes communication is amazing." Scully said in the most professional manner she could muster.
"Your advice was really helpful." Mulder said doctor smiles satisfied.
"Well remember those lessons. I will see you next year." She finishes. Mulder and Scully look at each other happy for being able to get away without having to reveal exactly how they resolved their issues. They stood up to leave.
"Agent Mulder?" Dr Kosseff said before he opened the door. She approached with a tissue.
"You might want to clean that lipstick from your neck before you step out of here." He opened his eyes wide and saying nothing took the tissue to clean up the place he guessed Scully's lipstick had left a mark. Scully stifled a small laugh.
"And agent Scully." She said, closing the distance between both. She lowered her hand behind Scully and gently removed something from the back of her skirt. She produced a post it note.
"Here this was stuck in your skirt.I imagine you wouldn't want it there either when you were walking back to your office" Scully 's face turns red. She lowered her sight and murmured a thank you making sure there are not more post it on her backside. Doctor Kosseff sits down and starts writing in her papers. Both agents look at each other wondering if there is any way they can save the situation.
"You know you never asked me what happened to that other 10% of agents that talked about their feelings?" Both Mulder and Scully just paid attention unable to say anything.
"They start a romantic relationship once they finally realize they are meant to be together and their issues disappear completely." She smiles again.
Our agents smiled full of gratitude and left the office knowing they will never be stressed out for as long as they both shall live.
