Author's Note: OK, I wrote this when I REALLY didn't like Meru. I do now,
but then I didn't. I also despise Miranda (then and now). I actually should
call it "Honey, I Shrunk The Kinda Smart Ones" because I make everyone at
least a little dumber than they actually are. This fanfic has nothing to do
with "Honey, I Shrunk The Kids" it's just that it seemed like a good title
at the moment (you'll see what I mean). It probably isn't nearly as good as
some of the things Dee or Rap's writes, but please read and review anyway.
Enjoy!
Honey, I Shrunk The Smart Ones!
Dart, Rose, Albert, Haschel, Kongol, Miranda, and Meru were walking through the Death Frontier on their way to the hidden Wingly city. They were tired, hungry, and sick of fighting stupid monsters, wandering in circles, and falling in those annoying holes. Finally, they came to an area where there were no monsters. "Here no monster. Here we can rest." Kongol stated (even though it was painfully obvious).
"We might as well," Said Rose. "From now on our journey will be much harder than pursuing one Wingly."
"What! Are you calling all that easy?!!" Miranda exploded. Then she slapped Rose for no good reason.
"Well, yeah I'm calling it easy!" Rose spat. Rose knocks Miranda over.
"Enough already!" Albert yelled. Before Miranda and Rose could fight again, Dart pointed to the ground.
"Hey, look guys! It's one of those lakes that give you full health!" He said. And indeed it was.
"Let's all get a drink!" Suggested Haschel.
"I don't need one!" Meru exclaimed. "I'm so good that no one can beat me!" Rose knocks her over too.
"It's more like your so sucky that no one has let you fight for the past twenty battles!" She yelled. Everyone agreed with that, so Dart, Albert, Haschel, Rose, and Kongol all bent over and drank. Miranda started to bend over too, but Rose shot her a deadly glare, so she decided it best not to.
All of a sudden, there was a flash of light, and everyone who drank the water vanished. "Oh my God!" Meru cried. "Where did they go?" Dart, Kongol, Rose, Haschel, and Albert got puzzled looks on their faces.
"What does she mean, 'where did they go'? We're right here!" Haschel wondered. It was true, they never moved.
"I guess her own stupidity got the best of her again," Rose replied.
"I don't know, Meru," Miranda answered.
"It seems that she can't here us," Albert stated.
"Lake look bigger," Kongol remarked.
"And what does THAT have to do with anything?" Rose snapped.
"Small child look bigger too!" Kongol announced (he meant Meru).
"Holy Frugelbusters!" Haschel exclaimed. "If Meru and the lake got bigger, and they can't hear us, that must mean that we shrunk!"
"WHAT!" Dart screamed. "SHRUNK! Wait a minute... did you just swear on US?"
"WHAT!" Rose, Albert, Haschel, and Kongol yelled.
"Well, me, Shana, Rose, Lavitz, and Haschel all killed Frugel, so wouldn't we be Frugelbusters?" They all looked at Dart, amazed that he used such logic.
"That's completely besides the point!" Albert reminded them. "Our number one priority is to figure out how to get back to normal. People who are one inch tall don't survive very long."
"Well you're no fun!" Dart pouted.
"Ahh!" Haschel cried. "He's turning into Meru!"
"NOOOOOOOO!" Everyone (including Dart) wailed.
"One Meru is too many!" Rose screamed.
"We be too small," Kongol reminded them.
"Why can't you for once use PROPER grammar!" Albert yelled in furry.
"No matter how grammatically incorrect it was, what Kongol said is true, and I'm sick of it," said Haschel.
"How did we become so small anyway?" Dart asked.
"How thick IS that skull of yours? We drank bewitched water you idiot!" Rose bellowed.
"Well you don't have to be so mean about it," Dart started crying.
"SHUT UP!" Yelled Rose.
"But hey, look on the bright side, we did get full health!" Haschel tried to cheer them up. But it only made things worse because Albert had to grab Rose before she killed Haschel. (Go Rose!)
Miranda and Meru have been standing around this whole time doing nothing because they're so thick. Finally Meru got bored and decided to say more stupid things that really have no purpose.
"So where'd they go?" She asked.
"I dunno," Miranda answered.
"Okay!" Meru said stupidly because she IS stupid. "I like donuts but I don't like muffins because they don't have enough SUGAR!" Then she started jumping up and down in an annoying way like she always does.
Trying to ignore the fact that Meru was saying gibberish, Albert thought of something. "Wait a second," He said. "I got an idea."
"What it be? Kongol want to know!" Kongol said as grammatically incorrect as possible.
"Tell me now or DIE!" Rose threatened.
"Body Purifiers!" Albert answered.
"What?" Asked Haschel.
"Body Purifiers heal you when your poisoned or stunned, right," Albert said.
"Right," Dart answered.
"So wouldn't they heal you if you shrunk?" Asked Albert.
"I don't see why not," Rose replied.
"But we only have one," Dart told them.
"You'd only need one," Haschel explained. "We're so small that we could be healed with the same Body Purifier."
"Great, so all we have to do is tell Miranda and Meru to use a Body Purifier on us!" Albert said enthusiastically.
"I like how my hair looks! Don't you Miranda?" Meru said for no reason at all.
"Not really," Answered Miranda.
"WHAT! How could you not like MY hair?" Meru asked.
"Because I don't like anything!" Miranda replied.
"Well I don't like you!" Meru shouted.
"GOOD!" the annoying Miranda yelled. They got into a huge fight. It was actually quite sad, the stupid Meru taking off like 64 health points while the annoying Miranda took off about 32.
"OH MY GOD!" Rose screamed. "Miranda's even worse than Meru!"
"How is that possible?" Dart asked.
"We'll never get back to normal!" Haschel exclaimed.
"Don't say that!" Yelled Albert.
"Why not?" Haschel questioned.
"Because than we really WON'T get back to normal!" Albert told him.
"How do YOU know that?" Dart asked.
"SHUT UP!" Rose screamed.
"How are we supposed to tell Miranda and Meru to use a Body Purifier on us if they can't here us?" Asked Haschel.
"I dunno," Albert confessed.
"You don't know! How could YOU not know?" Rose was getting impatient.
"Well give me some time to think," Replied Albert. The pathetic Miranda/Meru fight was still going on. "Hey, I got it!" He yelled triumphantly.
"What is it?" Wondered Dart.
"You see those reeds over there?" Albert pointed to some really tall reeds by the lake.
"Yeah," Everyone answered.
"We use our weapons to cut down a reed. Then we tie a loop at the end, climb on each others' shoulders, lasso the reed around Meru's ponytail, climb up the reed on to Meru's shoulder, and scream in her ear to use the Body Purifier on us!" Albert explained.
"THAT'S your brilliant idea?!" Rose looked as though she were about to strangle Albert.
"It's so insane that it might just work!" Dart said enthusiastically.
"NO IT WON'T!" Rose yelled.
"I know! I just always wanted to say that!" Dart answered.
"GAH!" Rose fumed. She ran up to Dart and actually DID strangle him. This time Kongol picked up Rose by the waist and separated her from Dart.
"Rose need to calm down," Kongol said.
"Kongol need to SHUT UP!" Rose screamed.
Miranda and Meru were still fighting. "Deet, Dough, Double Smack!" Meru shouted as she whacked Miranda with her hammer. "Have you ever noticed how much we sound like tennis players?" She asked stupidly.
"Your right, we do!" Miranda replied as she shot an arrow at Meru's chest. "But SHUT UP! I'm trying to kill you!"
"I have an even better idea!" Said Albert as he watched the stupidity of the two women displayed before him. "How about we wait until one of them knocks the other one over, skip all the reed junk, and just run up and yell in her ear!" Everyone thought this was a considerably better idea, even though it might be awhile before someone gets knocked over.
"Deet, Dough, Double Smack!" Said Meru.
"Yah!" Said Miranda or something stupid like that.
"Double Smack!" Yelled Meru, then, "I don't like cheese, it tastes funky!"
"Hey," Said Miranda. "I'm the one who doesn't like anything!" After about ten minutes, Meru finally knocks Miranda over, because stupid Miranda can't even DO additions.
"Here's the moment we've all been waiting for!" Shouted Haschel. Dart, Rose, Kongol, Albert, and Haschel all ran up to where Miranda was lying on the ground.
"Miranda!" Dart yelled as loud as he could. "Can you hear me?!"
"Of course I can hear you!" She screamed back. "You're yelling in my ear!"
"Well then, help us! We shrank because the water's bewitched! Use a Body Purifier on all of us so we can get back to normal!" Albert explained to Miranda.
"Oh," Said Miranda. "That's where you went!"
"Just use the Body Purifier on us!" Rose commanded. Reluctantly, because she was still angry with Rose, Miranda used the Body Purifier on them. There was another flash of light, and Rose, Albert, Haschel, Dart, and Kongol were all back to normal. Meru didn't seem to realize what happened because she was jumping up and down celebrating her victory.
"I'm thirsty!" Shouted Meru. She walked over to the lake and bent over.
"NOOO! Don't!" Dart shouted. But it was too late. Meru already took a drink, and there was, yet another annoying flash of light.
"YOU IMBECILE!" Albert yelled. "That was our last Body Purifier!" They all looked at the one inch tall Meru. All of a sudden, a grasshopper appeared out of nowhere.
"AHH!" Yelled Meru as the grasshopper advanced towards her. But before it could kill her, Rose squished the grasshopper.
"I don't want to be small anymore!" Meru said stupidly. "I wonder if this works!" She then clicked her heels together three times and chanted, "I wish I were big, I wish I were big, I wish I were big!" Amazingly, there was another flash of light, and Meru was back to normal.
"That's all we had to do!" Rose fumed yet again.
"We wasted so much time being small!" Albert said.
"Well at least we didn't have to look dorky clicking our heals together!" Haschel exclaimed.
"You always look dorky!" Miranda snapped at Haschel. (Well, it's true!)
"Now off to save the world!" Dart shouted. Meru was jumping up and down again, saying more stupid things.
"Kongol wish Meru shut up." And so, our heroes are normal again, and will continue to wonder around the Death Frontier, to get to the Wingly city, in order to save the world. YAY!
Honey, I Shrunk The Smart Ones!
Dart, Rose, Albert, Haschel, Kongol, Miranda, and Meru were walking through the Death Frontier on their way to the hidden Wingly city. They were tired, hungry, and sick of fighting stupid monsters, wandering in circles, and falling in those annoying holes. Finally, they came to an area where there were no monsters. "Here no monster. Here we can rest." Kongol stated (even though it was painfully obvious).
"We might as well," Said Rose. "From now on our journey will be much harder than pursuing one Wingly."
"What! Are you calling all that easy?!!" Miranda exploded. Then she slapped Rose for no good reason.
"Well, yeah I'm calling it easy!" Rose spat. Rose knocks Miranda over.
"Enough already!" Albert yelled. Before Miranda and Rose could fight again, Dart pointed to the ground.
"Hey, look guys! It's one of those lakes that give you full health!" He said. And indeed it was.
"Let's all get a drink!" Suggested Haschel.
"I don't need one!" Meru exclaimed. "I'm so good that no one can beat me!" Rose knocks her over too.
"It's more like your so sucky that no one has let you fight for the past twenty battles!" She yelled. Everyone agreed with that, so Dart, Albert, Haschel, Rose, and Kongol all bent over and drank. Miranda started to bend over too, but Rose shot her a deadly glare, so she decided it best not to.
All of a sudden, there was a flash of light, and everyone who drank the water vanished. "Oh my God!" Meru cried. "Where did they go?" Dart, Kongol, Rose, Haschel, and Albert got puzzled looks on their faces.
"What does she mean, 'where did they go'? We're right here!" Haschel wondered. It was true, they never moved.
"I guess her own stupidity got the best of her again," Rose replied.
"I don't know, Meru," Miranda answered.
"It seems that she can't here us," Albert stated.
"Lake look bigger," Kongol remarked.
"And what does THAT have to do with anything?" Rose snapped.
"Small child look bigger too!" Kongol announced (he meant Meru).
"Holy Frugelbusters!" Haschel exclaimed. "If Meru and the lake got bigger, and they can't hear us, that must mean that we shrunk!"
"WHAT!" Dart screamed. "SHRUNK! Wait a minute... did you just swear on US?"
"WHAT!" Rose, Albert, Haschel, and Kongol yelled.
"Well, me, Shana, Rose, Lavitz, and Haschel all killed Frugel, so wouldn't we be Frugelbusters?" They all looked at Dart, amazed that he used such logic.
"That's completely besides the point!" Albert reminded them. "Our number one priority is to figure out how to get back to normal. People who are one inch tall don't survive very long."
"Well you're no fun!" Dart pouted.
"Ahh!" Haschel cried. "He's turning into Meru!"
"NOOOOOOOO!" Everyone (including Dart) wailed.
"One Meru is too many!" Rose screamed.
"We be too small," Kongol reminded them.
"Why can't you for once use PROPER grammar!" Albert yelled in furry.
"No matter how grammatically incorrect it was, what Kongol said is true, and I'm sick of it," said Haschel.
"How did we become so small anyway?" Dart asked.
"How thick IS that skull of yours? We drank bewitched water you idiot!" Rose bellowed.
"Well you don't have to be so mean about it," Dart started crying.
"SHUT UP!" Yelled Rose.
"But hey, look on the bright side, we did get full health!" Haschel tried to cheer them up. But it only made things worse because Albert had to grab Rose before she killed Haschel. (Go Rose!)
Miranda and Meru have been standing around this whole time doing nothing because they're so thick. Finally Meru got bored and decided to say more stupid things that really have no purpose.
"So where'd they go?" She asked.
"I dunno," Miranda answered.
"Okay!" Meru said stupidly because she IS stupid. "I like donuts but I don't like muffins because they don't have enough SUGAR!" Then she started jumping up and down in an annoying way like she always does.
Trying to ignore the fact that Meru was saying gibberish, Albert thought of something. "Wait a second," He said. "I got an idea."
"What it be? Kongol want to know!" Kongol said as grammatically incorrect as possible.
"Tell me now or DIE!" Rose threatened.
"Body Purifiers!" Albert answered.
"What?" Asked Haschel.
"Body Purifiers heal you when your poisoned or stunned, right," Albert said.
"Right," Dart answered.
"So wouldn't they heal you if you shrunk?" Asked Albert.
"I don't see why not," Rose replied.
"But we only have one," Dart told them.
"You'd only need one," Haschel explained. "We're so small that we could be healed with the same Body Purifier."
"Great, so all we have to do is tell Miranda and Meru to use a Body Purifier on us!" Albert said enthusiastically.
"I like how my hair looks! Don't you Miranda?" Meru said for no reason at all.
"Not really," Answered Miranda.
"WHAT! How could you not like MY hair?" Meru asked.
"Because I don't like anything!" Miranda replied.
"Well I don't like you!" Meru shouted.
"GOOD!" the annoying Miranda yelled. They got into a huge fight. It was actually quite sad, the stupid Meru taking off like 64 health points while the annoying Miranda took off about 32.
"OH MY GOD!" Rose screamed. "Miranda's even worse than Meru!"
"How is that possible?" Dart asked.
"We'll never get back to normal!" Haschel exclaimed.
"Don't say that!" Yelled Albert.
"Why not?" Haschel questioned.
"Because than we really WON'T get back to normal!" Albert told him.
"How do YOU know that?" Dart asked.
"SHUT UP!" Rose screamed.
"How are we supposed to tell Miranda and Meru to use a Body Purifier on us if they can't here us?" Asked Haschel.
"I dunno," Albert confessed.
"You don't know! How could YOU not know?" Rose was getting impatient.
"Well give me some time to think," Replied Albert. The pathetic Miranda/Meru fight was still going on. "Hey, I got it!" He yelled triumphantly.
"What is it?" Wondered Dart.
"You see those reeds over there?" Albert pointed to some really tall reeds by the lake.
"Yeah," Everyone answered.
"We use our weapons to cut down a reed. Then we tie a loop at the end, climb on each others' shoulders, lasso the reed around Meru's ponytail, climb up the reed on to Meru's shoulder, and scream in her ear to use the Body Purifier on us!" Albert explained.
"THAT'S your brilliant idea?!" Rose looked as though she were about to strangle Albert.
"It's so insane that it might just work!" Dart said enthusiastically.
"NO IT WON'T!" Rose yelled.
"I know! I just always wanted to say that!" Dart answered.
"GAH!" Rose fumed. She ran up to Dart and actually DID strangle him. This time Kongol picked up Rose by the waist and separated her from Dart.
"Rose need to calm down," Kongol said.
"Kongol need to SHUT UP!" Rose screamed.
Miranda and Meru were still fighting. "Deet, Dough, Double Smack!" Meru shouted as she whacked Miranda with her hammer. "Have you ever noticed how much we sound like tennis players?" She asked stupidly.
"Your right, we do!" Miranda replied as she shot an arrow at Meru's chest. "But SHUT UP! I'm trying to kill you!"
"I have an even better idea!" Said Albert as he watched the stupidity of the two women displayed before him. "How about we wait until one of them knocks the other one over, skip all the reed junk, and just run up and yell in her ear!" Everyone thought this was a considerably better idea, even though it might be awhile before someone gets knocked over.
"Deet, Dough, Double Smack!" Said Meru.
"Yah!" Said Miranda or something stupid like that.
"Double Smack!" Yelled Meru, then, "I don't like cheese, it tastes funky!"
"Hey," Said Miranda. "I'm the one who doesn't like anything!" After about ten minutes, Meru finally knocks Miranda over, because stupid Miranda can't even DO additions.
"Here's the moment we've all been waiting for!" Shouted Haschel. Dart, Rose, Kongol, Albert, and Haschel all ran up to where Miranda was lying on the ground.
"Miranda!" Dart yelled as loud as he could. "Can you hear me?!"
"Of course I can hear you!" She screamed back. "You're yelling in my ear!"
"Well then, help us! We shrank because the water's bewitched! Use a Body Purifier on all of us so we can get back to normal!" Albert explained to Miranda.
"Oh," Said Miranda. "That's where you went!"
"Just use the Body Purifier on us!" Rose commanded. Reluctantly, because she was still angry with Rose, Miranda used the Body Purifier on them. There was another flash of light, and Rose, Albert, Haschel, Dart, and Kongol were all back to normal. Meru didn't seem to realize what happened because she was jumping up and down celebrating her victory.
"I'm thirsty!" Shouted Meru. She walked over to the lake and bent over.
"NOOO! Don't!" Dart shouted. But it was too late. Meru already took a drink, and there was, yet another annoying flash of light.
"YOU IMBECILE!" Albert yelled. "That was our last Body Purifier!" They all looked at the one inch tall Meru. All of a sudden, a grasshopper appeared out of nowhere.
"AHH!" Yelled Meru as the grasshopper advanced towards her. But before it could kill her, Rose squished the grasshopper.
"I don't want to be small anymore!" Meru said stupidly. "I wonder if this works!" She then clicked her heels together three times and chanted, "I wish I were big, I wish I were big, I wish I were big!" Amazingly, there was another flash of light, and Meru was back to normal.
"That's all we had to do!" Rose fumed yet again.
"We wasted so much time being small!" Albert said.
"Well at least we didn't have to look dorky clicking our heals together!" Haschel exclaimed.
"You always look dorky!" Miranda snapped at Haschel. (Well, it's true!)
"Now off to save the world!" Dart shouted. Meru was jumping up and down again, saying more stupid things.
"Kongol wish Meru shut up." And so, our heroes are normal again, and will continue to wonder around the Death Frontier, to get to the Wingly city, in order to save the world. YAY!
