I was never one to consider my-self a rash person. In fact, I valued my ability to calmly and patiently think things over. Yet, when the weight and pain of grief and loss are constantly weighing on one's chest, making it hard for anyone to live, they can't be blamed for becoming at least a little impulsive.

That was why I was sitting on the floor of my kitchen that night, steak knife in hand as I leaned heavily against the bottom of my counter. Violent sobs racked my body, just as they had two weeks before when I had first heard about the accident from Mirabelle.

Apparently there had been a fire at where Vaughn worked. Vaughn, the moody, anti-social, emo cowboy who's love for animals was so great that he died in a burning building while trying to save some of the ones that had been unable to escape. Not only that, but he was also the man that I had given my heart to so many seasons ago, and signed away my name for his only a year before. He was the man that I fell asleep next to as often as I could, and when ever I did, I could count on him to still be there next to me when I woke up. He was the kind of person that hardly ever smiled, only with the exception of to my-self, who would always manage to pull one out of him no matter how difficult it may get.

Sure, at first he may have scorned at me for being the person that smiled way to much, as most of the time I did consider the glass half full; he also admitted, no matter how much later that was, that my smile was the first way that I had 'wormed my way into his heart.' And after that simple entry had been aloud, after those first barriers were broken, I managed to completely, and permanently, become the subject of his love. It may have not been an easy thing to do, but the reward was great, as I loved my quiet cowboy just as much as he claimed to love me.

One thing that our love apparently couldn't diminish though, was his ability to leave me, the prime example being the reason of my condition that all important night.

Salt water ceased to stop leaking from my eyes as I clung to the knife's handle as if for dear life. His picture just wouldn't leave my mind, especially after my latest dream of moments before had branded it there just to inflict more pain. The dreams had to be one of the worst parts of having an extremely active sub-consciousness that was still in shock from its recently acquired news, my previous one being that of the night that my significant other had died, and showing every bit of it.

In my near hysteria from the images that my mind had conjured up, I had stumbled into the kitchen for some milk to calm my nerves, when I had somehow stumbled upon the silverware drawer, a rash act then leading me to where I was now. Of course it wasn't rational, or even showing in the slightest how smart of a girl that I actually was, but all that I could concentrate on at the moment was the pain that seemed to posses every cell in my body. I no longer had my other half, so through the dense fog of pain that had settled on my mind; it somehow conjured up that I should no longer have to live through that misery. So, like always, from that thought, my actions followed.

It ended up being quite hard to shove the sharp object through my chest, not because I wasn't beyond reasoning, it was just an awkward motion to put lots of force behind. I did it though, and another pain stabbed at my chest as the red, life giving liquid began to seep into my night clothes and drip down my body. This only lasted momentarily though, as it seemed I had gotten a lot closer to my target then originally expected from a near mad person. The pain soon gradually started to ebb away, as I vaguely felt my body slump onto the hard wooden floor. Everything that I felt slowly melted away as my eyes slid shut, until I didn't feel anything anymore.


The next time that my eyes opened, it was to a multitude of colors, all blended together in a way that only nature could produce. Feeling quickly came back to me as thick strands of grass began tickling my exposed skin where it was not protected from the knee length, spaghetti strapped white dress that I wore, forcing me to sit up to escape how uncomfortable it felt. Trees surrounded me on every side, leaves giving them their shape in their full summer bloom. In front of me, an unknown figure stood, surrounded by light that came from where I assumed the sun was surely setting.

I squinted my eyes as the figure slowly made its way into view, cowboy boots crunching against the fresh grass the whole time. When I was able to recognize it though, I leaped to my feet in anticipation for them to finally reach me. "Vaughn!" I exclaimed, as happiness, my first real emotion in this new place, swelled in my now whole chest.

The now visible figure stopped a few feet away from me though, much to my dismay, a frown coloring his features where I had before hoped to see a smile. "I knew I wasn't going to like the reason I was called out here, though I should have expected it to be you." He said, though more to himself then to me.

"Vaughn?" I questioned him, hurt filling my now quieter tone due to his harsh words. "What's wrong? Aren't you happy to see me?"

"Happy to see you?" My companion in death asked, his head lowered, though still somewhat visible as he no longer had a hat to cover his face. His fist was suddenly slammed into the closest tree trunk, causing me to jump. "Chelsea, why would I be happy to see you if the only reason I can see you is because you just through your life away!" He demanded.

"But-,"I tried to protest, before quickly being cut off.

"No! No buts. Look…I'm sorry Chels," He said, his voice breaking before he turned his face up to look at me again, tears beginning to pool in his eyes. "I'm sorry I left you alone, and I know that I shouldn't have, but there was no reason to do what you did. You had such a promising life ahead of you, and you through it away just because I couldn't be there with you."

"Promising life?" I questioned his words with a sad expression on my face. "How could my life have been promising if no longer wished to live it? What kind of life would I have had without you?"

"At least you would have lived." He scorned, no longer able to meet my eyes.

"No. I wouldn't have been able to truly live without you there by my side." I denied his words.

The expression that he turned on me next was absolutely broken, and it definitely broke me. He then slowly, finally made his way over to me and wrapped his arms around me, and I wrapped mine around his in return, soaking in the warmth that I had been deprived of for the last two weeks, yet so greatly needed. "I'm so sorry. It's all my fault." He said as he lifted a hand to cup it around the back to my head, fingers slipping in-between strands of brown hair.

"No." I murmured into his black dress shirt. "Don't you dare start blaming this on yourself cowboy. It's my fault that I can't live without you. You just so happen to be my only weakness."

"Yea right." He gave the slightest of chuckles, before heaving a sigh, something I felt more then heard due to our tight embrace. "Well, I guess there's nothing that we can do about it now. What's done is done; you're finally stuck with me forever now."

"Great." I sighed blissfully, before he pulled away from our embrace, instead only keeping my hand tightly gripped in his, as if we might get separated once again.

"It's time to go; in fact, I should have had you back already." My silver hared partner began pulling me along the way then, back the way he came.

"What are you talking bout?" I inquired as I followed without protest.

The look that he gave me next was somewhat shocked. "Don't tell me that you thought this was paradise?"

"It's not?"

"Oh no, paradise is much better than this place." He insisted, frowning at the beautiful scenery around us. "We just have to keep walking that way until we get to it." He pointed forward, the direction that we were already going.

"You mean, towards the sunset?" I asked, slightly confused.

For some reason or other, this amused Vaughn, causing a light smile to appear on his lips. "If that's what you want to call it, then sure."

I took this as the best answer I would get until we got there, when a sudden problem arose in my mind. I pulled back on Vaughn's hand then, getting him to slow down a bit, but not completely stop. "But, what if I can't get in? I did commit suicide, remember?"

This caused him to stop in his tracks, but the frown that I was expecting didn't appear when he did, instead, the small smile remained on his face. "But that's what makes paradise paradise. There, no one's judged. So don't worry." He reassured me as he placed a kiss on one of the knuckles of my hand, "Because there, we'll always be together."

So, with a now clam mind, that's where we went; with hands intertwined, and nothing to ever pull us apart again.


Well, I hope you guys enjoyed this, because I know that I had fun writing it, even if I had to stay up till about 1 in the morning to do so. :)

So, please show your appreciation, or you know, if you acctually want to comment on my story, then leave a review! Trust me it's a lot of fun, is only for the people who recive them. :)