Disclaimer: They will belong to me when pigs fly! ^o^ *Starts a project to develop mechanical wings for pigs* :D


Watching Over

It's not that this is something new. Kanata is used to having to watch over others. He has always been the responsible one, the reliable one.

When his mother passed away and his father became a wreck, he took responsibility to care for his father. When his father burned down the kitchen trying to make breakfast, he learned to cook. When his father sat in a heartbroken pile in front of his mother's shrine and the house began to run down, he learned to clean and wash. When his father cried all night and went to sleep in the morning, he learned to throw the blankets over him and slide the pillow under his head without waking him up.

When Ruu and Wanya came to stay with them, he learned to take care of a baby. When random aliens and weirdos started showing up at their doorsteps, he learned to keep trouble away and save the day. When curious friends poked their noses in, he learned to hide and protect those he loved.

And when Ruu and Wanya finally left, he found watching over the household turn from taking care of a flying baby and talking cat to watching Miyu.

It's not something new. Kanata is used to watching over others. But somehow, he suddenly doesn't know what to do any more.

~o~

The long stairwell leading up to the temple gives ample time to Kanata to prepare himself for what is to come once he clears them and reaches home. And yet, when he opens the door, he doesn't know what to say when Miyu tries to hide the tapes and the truth that she had been watching the cartoons that she had watched with Ruu once upon a long gone day.

~o~

Over dinner, he mentions that maybe they should clear out the guest room, now that there is no use of those toys in there.

"We could give them to Momoka, maybe."

And he flinches when Miyu looks at him quietly, her eyes red. But she doesn't complain and simply says, "Maybe, you're right."

Kanata never touches the guest room, and the topic is never brought up again.

~o~

It's not that Kanata does not miss Ruu. But, it's just that Miyu's eyes are always red and her smile has vanished and he finds himself watching her play with her food at the dinner table every day before she just gets up and walks away.

~o~

At nights, he wonders if this will ever get better, if Miyu will ever eat again and laugh again. And he hears her muted sobs from the other side of the door and he shivers in the chill of the hallway outside her room. And yet, like every other night, he doesn't move from his spot.

~o~

On Tuesday, Miss Mizuno gives them a Home Economics assignment to pretend to take care of a baby for the length of an hour. And Kanata watches as Miyu holds the plastic doll in her arms, her face blank. And her partner shoves a bottle of milk into her hand and he says something and Kanata can't bear to watch as Miyu suddenly starts to tremble. He stands up in the middle of the class and drags her away and he doesn't give a damn when the teacher threatens him with an E grade.

~o~

They sit in a park and she cries into her hands and he watches the back of her bent golden head. And they come to an unspoken understanding to be there for each other, to cry together. She hugs him. And she shakes her head. And she says softly, "I miss them so much." And Kanata is a tiny bit happy that she is not hiding the truth from him anymore.

~o~

Life gets better, or so he thinks, as he watches Miyu attempting to bake a cake to celebrate passing a random test at school.

"Why doesn't it rise?" She asks dismally as she stares down at the flat hard cake.

"Needs more baking soda," he comments.

And he watches with a small amused smile as she throws it into the pile of failures and starts on a new one.

~o~

That night, while doing the laundry, Kanata comes upon a tiny sock with Winnie-the-Pooh on it and he suddenly can't stop himself and he cries. Before he goes to bed, he hides Ruu's sock away so that Miyu wouldn't happen to come upon it.

~o~

Their class plans to go on a field trip to the next town. And Kanata feels something inside him break as he watches a ghost of a Miyu slowly packing her things. And he wonders where his Miyu, who would turn the house upside down in her excitement, went away to. Much later, as he listens to her cry herself to sleep, he wonders why he called her 'his'…

~o~

At their field trip, Aya and Nanami drag Miyu away to every stall of knick-knacks. They blow bubbles through bubble wands and lick lollipops, and Kanata feels he can't thank her friends enough as he watches her slowly starting to smile.

Miyu learns origami at one of the stalls, and all through the bus journey back to Heiomachi, she keeps trying to fold roses and boats and planes.

That night, for the first time in weeks, they sit on the steps and watch the moon. Miyu falls asleep next to him. And Kanata wonders why his heart beats so as he carries her to her room. He is thankful that, for once, he wouldn't have to hear her cry all night.

~o~

Next day in class, Santa brings photographs from the previous day's trip. As he looks through them, Kanata realizes how many of them are of Miyu. He looks at Santa's excited face and he can't stop that traitorous thought. Santa likes Miyu? Kanata suddenly finds himself wanting to punch his best friend.

~o~

It's stupid, Kanata admits to himself, that he never noticed that he has been in love all this time. After all, how many times had he put up with her burnt cooking, and how many times had he skipped classes for her, and how many times had he jumped in thoughtlessly to save her – from a falling tree, from sleeping gas, from drowning, from falling down cliffs…

He knows that Miyu is pretty. It was only a matter of time before others started noticing as well. And Kanata finds out how ugly jealousy can be.

~o~

The next day he harasses her into folding her long shiny hair up, but he doesn't like her pale neck being visible. He ends up screaming at her and she ends up screaming back and they have their first fight in a long time. He forgets himself and calls her a depressing weak crybaby and she just… shuts up.

As he watches her running to school ahead of him, he can't help wondering if he has blown it all.

~o~

Over lunch, Santa seeks him out to demand why he is not having lunch with him. And Kanata finds himself suddenly fighting with his best friend. Somewhere in between heated words and hurting blows, it slips out that he loves Miyu. And Santa stutters as he confesses he loves Aya. Belatedly, Kanata realizes that Aya was together with Miyu in all those pictures.

~o~

He realizes he is making a fool out of himself, and yet he can't stop saying "Sorry." Miyu asks him why he is crying, and all he can do is hold her tighter and say, "Sorry." She rocks him slowly, and strokes his hair, and he lets himself believe in the reality of her warmth. He can't tell her, but for a while there, he had believed that she would never talk to him again. And he pulls her closer and vows to himself that he will never let her go.

Sitting on the porch, under the moonlight, he finally answers her question, "Because it is okay to be a crybaby." Watching her slowly lower her head to his shoulder as her body trembles with sobs, he thinks that it really is…

~o~

They are young and alone and all they have is each other. For a while, they had had a family and been a father and a mother. For a while, they had raised a child together. And then, they lost a child together. Now, their hearts are broken and they can only hurt. And he wonders when they will heal.

~o~

Later, at night, when she grabs his hand and pulls him to her room, he waits, his heart throbbing.

"Stay with me, please." Her words are soft, no louder than a whisper.

And Kanata can only obey.

~o~

He lies next to her, his arm around her, and watches the stars outside the bedroom window. And he can't help wishing that they would twinkle forever and never let the sun rise.

~o~

In the morning, he wakes her up on time, perhaps for the first time in all the time they have lived together. He watches as her eyes flutter open and she yawns and there's drool – the klutzy graceless fool. And he doesn't know why, but he can't stop himself and he leans forward and kisses her. It's a small peck, a brief touch of lips upon lips, and yet, he can't stop blushing and she's red as a tomato, and they are late to school by half an hour.

When they finally arrive, Nanami asks Miyu why her lips are swollen and red.

Miyu mumbles something about wasps and Kanata tries not to blush next to her.

~o~

And that's all there is to it. Sweet and quiet and still hurting, they live together and love each other. And Kanata finds that he's thankful for the small mercies.

Sometimes, she still slides open the guest room door and stands there, looking at all that has been left behind. And sometimes, she pauses slightly before she eats the dangos.

Sometimes, she asks him with her eyes wide, "Do you think Ruu will come back to see us sometime?"

And Kanata hopes that he is telling the truth when he nods and kisses her gently.

~o~

It's not that this is something new. Kanata is used to having to watch over others. He has always been the responsible one, the reliable one.

When his mother passed away and his father became a wreck, he took responsibility to care for his father. When his father burned down the kitchen trying to make breakfast, he learned to cook. When his father sat in a heartbroken pile in front of his mother's shrine and the house began to run down, he learned to clean and wash. When his father cried all night and went to sleep in the morning, he learned to throw the blankets over him and slide the pillow under his head without waking him up.

When Ruu and Wanya came to stay with them, he learned to take care of a baby. When random aliens and weirdos started showing up at their doorsteps, he learned to keep trouble away and save the day. When curious friends poked their noses in, he learned to hide and protect those he loved.

When Ruu and Wanya left and it was just him and Miyu, he learned to love her. When she started to hurt, he learned to hug her. When she cried, he learned to kiss her tears away. When she looked at him for comfort, he learned to smooth her fears away. When he asked her to marry him and she did, he learned to be happy again…

And when Miyu grew big with their child, finally, he found watching over the household turn from taking care of Miyu to taking care of a cranky hormonal Miyu.

It's not something new. Kanata is used to watching over others. But somehow, faced with the prospect of his own child, he suddenly doesn't know what to do any more.


I am not sure what's a failing grade in Japanese schools, but it's E in mine, so there... :P

Also, I know as much about baking a cake as my dog does. ^o^ Very important, very essential and absolutely earth-shattering point to note here being: I don't HAVE a dog... ToT *sob sob* So, please don't blame me if baking soda is NOT what makes the cake rise... =.=

Now, see that button below? See how it is the only button in that entire horizontal row? See how lonely it is? Yep, give it some love~ :3