Quicksand

Chapter 1: Learning to Cope

It was strange without him; I am not going to lie. There are things I miss. Okay, I miss everything, but it's not as if he is coming back anytime soon. Not for me anyway. I feel empty, as if no one could want me, no one would want me. Why would someone want me anyway? I was just damaged goods. Okay, so I know you are confused, so let me start from the beginning. My name is Bella Swan, and this is my story.
When I was eighteen, the love of my life left me in the woods. I know it does not sound that bad, but believe me it was. I was a normal day, okay so it wasn't a normal day nothing was normal with Edward. It was a few days after I turned eighteen and the crisis at my birthday party. It was just one pinprick of blood, just one tiny drop of blood, but enough to make a vampire ravenous. It was my fault I guess, with me being so accident-prone. I guess it was just bound to happen eventually. I was opening one of my presets, when my finger slipped on the paper and I gave myself a paper cut. Me being… well me, squeezed my finger to make sure I wasn't bleeding, well what do you know? I was, and I watched that tiny drop of blood slowly drop to the alabaster carpet below. I hear someone take a sharp breath and Edward yelling "No!" then I was being shoved backwards into a table. There was a loud crunching sound and I looked up to see the beautiful Grand Piano collapsing under Jasper's weight.

After that day, things had been weird. Edward has been acting different, more distant. I just figured it would pass, but then he didn't pick me up for school and none of the Cullen's showed up that day either. I was worried, but my worry had soon turned to relief when I got home to see Edward waiting in the driveway. He asked me to go for a walk with him; I knew then that something was wrong. I don't remember much after that, I just remember him leading me down the pathway into the woods by my house. We didn't get far before he stopped, turned around and looked me over as if it was the last time he would see me. I asked him what was wrong when he told me that they were leaving, I remember begging him, and then trying to follow him but he was too fast, and I ended up falling over something and then I was knocked out cold.

I remember waking up in horrible pain, as if I was on fire, something was scorching me, burning me, no blistering me. I begged for someone, anyone to save me from this scalding fire! I didn't know what was happening to me! I tried to stand, but I couldn't move, not even to speak. I was still lying in the woods, on the ground next to an enormous tree. I then realized what was happening to me. I vaguely remember Edward telling me how it felt, to change into a vampire, the excruciating pain as the venom rips through your veins. Someone had bit me, but whom? Who would do this to me? None of the Cullen's of course, as they were long gone by now. But somebody else, Victoria? Laurent? Some other nomad passing though? No, it couldn't be a nomad; no passerby would just leave me alive. It had to be either Victoria or Laurent, but why? Then it hit me, like a ton of bricks. I was going to be a vampire! I can't go home, or even back to school! What I would want more than anything now was blood, and lots of it. But maybe I would be able to control it? I laid there for what seemed like hours, but then the pain began to subside. Slowly like someone was pouring ice-cold water through my veins, I stood up and was able to begin walking towards my house.
I caught the scent of Charlie before I saw him. His scent sent a blazing flash of pain down my throat. I fought to overcome it, this was my dad, I loved him, and I couldn't hurt him. I ran up to my window and climbed through. I quickly but quietly grabbed my sunglasses and my wallet, so no one would see my eyes. I then I jumped back out the window and ran quickly down the road, towards the store, and then slowed to a walk as I reached the doors. I knew if people saw my eyes they would freak, so I had to get contacts, at least until my eyes became more adjusted. I quickly grabbed several boxes of brown contact lenses, and went to the register to pay.
"Will this be all?" The person at the register asked. I had held my breath the entire time that I was in there, and I didn't have any left to reply, so I just nodded.

I paid for them, then grabbed the sack and went outside. I walked over to the side of the building that went towards the woods, stopped and took off my sunglasses. I opened one of the boxes, snapped open the little container, and popped one in my eye, the other followed. I knew that it wouldn't completely put me back to my old color, but it would be better than red, right? I then walked back around the store towards the edge of the parking lot. I caught sight of myself in a mirror of a parked car and almost screamed! I thought someone was following me at first; I barely looked like myself. My hair was now a beautiful brown not the dull brown it had been, and my skin was so pale white that I almost looked like a statue. My eyes were a muddy brown, with a hint of red behind them. I looked wild, my eyes wide, staring, searching for something that resembled me.

I made it back to the house, and I took a deep breath before walking through the door. Charlie seemed startled, he stood up from his chair and exclaimed.
"BELLA!?" He exclaimed, I just stared at him. I had no clue how long I had been gone so I didn't really know what to say.
"Um... hi dad." I said finally, taking a breath, his scent making my throat burn.

"Bella? Is that you?" he asked squinting his eyes.
"Yes, dad." I answered trying to make my voice a little deeper from its high-pitched bell tone now.

"Do you have any idea how worried I was about you? You have been gone for four days! No one has seen you! I went over to the Cullen's to see if you were there and their house was empty! I thought you had left with them! I have been worried sick." He rambled

"I'm sorry dad, I really am, I don't know what to say." I said. Every time I opened my mouth, burning seared through my throat.

"Would you like to explain to me where you have been?" he said, I could tell he was upset, not mad, just worried and upset. Crap... act cool, act cool... what to tell him?
"Oh... I was with Alice, she took me down to Seattle to shop only her car broke down and we just got back...I really am sorry." I said forcing the lie out. My heart ached when I said her name.

"With Alice?" he asked, I could tell he didn't really believe me and was going to ask another question.
"Yep." I squeaked, not looking him in the eyes when I said it. He looked dazed for a minute, then replied a short okay, and sat back down in his chair. That was strange... I thought.

"I'm going to bed, I love you." I forced out through my teeth.
"Night." he replied seeming normal now.
I ran upstairs and shut my door just as I felt the contacts in my eyes dissolve. I looked around my room examining everything something was different. I turned around to my desk, my pictures were gone! All my pictures of the Cullen's were missing. Who would do such a thing? Now I had nothing, it was just a memory, and that would fade with time too. It was already becoming blurry and fuzzy around the edges. Trying to calm myself down, I clamped down hard on the desk, pieces of wood shavings coming off in my hands. I was strong that was for sure, but how strong? I lied down on my bed trying to think. I was waiting for Charlie to go to bed, because I knew he would check in on me before he went. After a couple hours of waiting, I finally hear the TV click off and heard his clomping footsteps coming up the stairs, I quickly climbed under the covers, and pretended to be sleeping. I heard the door creak open, and after a few seconds, Charlie walked over to my bedside and rubbed my hair. He sighed after a few seconds and left the room. I heard his door shut, and him climb into bed, it wasn't long until he was fast asleep.

I waited a couple more minutes before I left the house out through my window. I needed to hunt, and fast, I was parched, if it could my stomach would have been growling. I ran north towards Canada, I wanted to see how far I could go before I got tired... Well apparently, I wasn't going to get tired, I was now somewhere in Alaska, I think close to Denali. I decided this was as best place as ever to hunt, I stopped when I caught a scent that was mouthwatering. I heard a warm, large heartbeat, I tried not to think about what I was about to do, then I raced off towards the delicious smell. I was just about to collide with the huge buck when a flash of black and white knocked into me and knocked me down.

"Oof." I exclaimed as I hit a tree, and the buck went running off. I slid into a crouch prepared to attack whatever had knocked me down. A growl slipped from my mouth, my teeth bared. I heard a gasp and my eyes flicked to the direction of the sound. I was staring into the black eyes of someone I knew well. Alice Cullen.
"Oh my gosh! Bella?" she exclaimed. I quickly took off at full speed running south, I had to get home, and I couldn't see them now. I knew she couldn't keep up, so I pushed on. I made it home very quickly, no sign of me being followed. After I calmed down from my little pity party, I had been throwing myself I decided just to hunt around here. After about three does and two large bucks, I finally felt full. I headed home climbing back through my window before changing my now tattered and bloody clothes. The clock read 6:00 a.m. and I knew my dad must already be up, getting ready for work. I walked down stairs after I took a quick shower putting my clothes back on once again. It was a Monday morning. Great, just what I needed, school. Was I ready? Could I handle it? I found him at the table drinking a cup of coffee reading the paper.
"Good Morning dad." I said as I sat down in the chair across from him.

"Morning, Bells." he said looking over the paper at me then looking back at it. I figured he would say something if I didn't eat, especially since I was so pale now. I grabbed a granola bar and started chomping down on it, or so he thought, I was really spitting it out into my hand when he wasn't looking. After a few minutes, he left for work. I was alone, finally. I threw away the rest of my granola bar and decided to head for school, so I could get the work I had missed. After all, I had missed two days of school and I knew I would have a ton of make-up work in Trig. I got to school in no time, even though my truck seemed slow now. I figured it would look weird if I just walked to school. I walked into my Trig classroom; luckily, Mr. Verveck was already here. I walked up to him to ask for my makeup work. He seemed startled by my appearance. Then he slowly got all my papers I had missed.

"Pity about that Cullen boy, he was a good kid." he said just as I was leaving the classroom, I suddenly had the urge to go back in there and rip his head off. I controlled the emotions when a weird noise came from my throat. It felt like I was choking, as if I couldn't get in enough air. I quickly ran to the bathroom and sat down on one of the sinks. I tried to calm my breathing. What was wrong with me? Was this how I was going to die? After I had become a vampire and I was going to choke to death? Could vampires choke? All I could keep thinking was, I love you Edward.

I finally calmed my breathing, or not breathing I did not need to breathe; it just felt natural after all these years. I heard someone come in and I was silent.
"Can you believe that Bella ran the Cullens off?" I heard Jessica say

"Yeah, I heard she tried to get him to marry her. Can you believe her?" Lauren said in her nasally voice.

"Yeah, fat cow, who does she think she is?" Jessica said. I couldn't take it anymore. I opened the stall door and looked them both in the eyes.
"You guys are bitches and don't know what the hell you're talking about, and you will never talk bad to or about me again." a dazed look crossed their eyes and then they nodded. It was the same glazed over look that my dad got last night. Hmm... interesting. I wonder... I walked out into the hall and was immediately bombarded by Mike. Oh great, here we go again.

"Hey Bella, you're back! Where were you? Were you with Cullen?" he snorted. I couldn't stand him, then a thought occurred to me and I thought I would try something.

"Mike," I said looking him in the eyes. "I want you to go away and never talk to me again." Again, just like Jessica, Lauren, and my dad a glazed look crossed his eyes and he nodded then walked away. Cool! I have a super power! I can control people with my mind! This is awesome! Then I remembered why I was a vampire, someone had changed my while I was chasing after my boyfriend who left me. My eyes dropped to the floor. I didn't think I would ever be happy again.

The school day was long; by the end of it, I thought I was going to break down. There had been so many whispers and with my new super hearing, I heard them all. I started humming in my head trying to block them out as I walked to my locker to get the rest of my books. I took my time and by time I was done, I was alone in the hallway. I had a few words in my head to go to the song, and soon as I walked slowly down the hall to the parking lot, I was singing it.

"I lie awake at night thinking of you,

can't get you out of my head. You

tossed me away and now what's

left? You left me for dead.

So I think to myself how can I be this

sad? You're just a boy, a simple boy,

but so much more instead. If only I

was better for you, My one and only,

if only I could be better for you."

I was almost out of the building when I heard someone clapping. I turned around to see Mr. Daniels, one of the younger teachers only a few years older than me, and the head of the Choir department clapping as he walked towards me.
"That was, wow, that was amazing. Have you ever had lessons?" he asked me

"No." I replied quietly

"Was that an original, I don't think I've ever heard it before?" he asked

"Yeah, but it wasn't very good, I mean it's not finished." I said embarrassed, my cheeks would be burning if I were still human.

"It was really good. You have a natural talent, Bella. Have you ever considered singing in our choir?" he asked me

"Well, no." I said

"Bella, I actually have been looking for someone to sing the National Anthem at the next football game, would you consider doing it?" he asked

"I... uhmm.. sure, why not?" I said, I had nothing to lose.

"Great, I will see you tomorrow after school for practice, okay?" he said,
"Sure, see you tomorrow Mr. Daniels." I said waving as I left through the double doors. I was going to sing the National Anthem. In front of everyone? I was about to turn around and tell him I changed my mind that I could not do it, when I heard his voice in my head.

"You can do it, love." The voice said, I stopped in my tracks. What? That was something he would have said to me before he left. When he believed in me, when he still... loved... me. Maybe he still loved me. I got in my truck and drove home. I guess it was time to tell Charlie.

I practiced in the choir room all week, sometimes during lunch, but mostly after school. Sooner than I thought possible, it was 7:00 p.m. and the game was getting ready to start. They were all waiting for me to sing.

"And now, singing the National Anthem in front of the Forks Spartans and the Port Angeles Knights, Miss Bella Swan!" Everybody fell silent. I walked out into the middle of the field with my microphone and began to sing. "Oh say can you see..." I looked around everybody's faces looked stunned; a few people had even pulled video cameras out filming me. "And the home and the brave!" I ended and everybody was silent, until someone busted into loud applause, then the crowd roared. Clapping, cheering, and whistling. They all liked my singing! I walked back to the side of the field and handed the microphone back to the announcer. Charlie and I left after that, I didn't feel like staying and he easily agreed, I think he was still stunned at my voice.
"Bella, wow, you have an amazing voice. You must have got that from me." he joked. I smiled and laughed with him.

"Of course I did, dad." I said

"You did great, I'm really proud of you." he said

"Thank you." I said quietly

We got home when the phone was ringing; I breezed inside to answer it.

"Hello?" I chimed

"Bella Swan?" A female voice answered.

"Speaking." I said

"Bella Swan, I am Sydney Maloney with Hollywood Records, we would love to offer you a recording contract with our recording studio." she announced excitedly.


A/N: Well… did you like it? Hate it? Please review and let me know what you think of it! If you have any ideas that you want in the story just PM me, and I will try to work them in the best that I can! :)

Reviews make me happy! :)

I love you all!
xoxo,
Em