I've lost count how many days, weeks or months it has been. I survive merely off the visits I get from Harry and Ron. They keep me sane. If it wasn't for them, I would probably lose my mind.
My parents were killed by Voldemort. Me losing track of time, I wouldn't know when or how long ago, but even me erasing their memories didn't stop them from being attacked.
Many things are still a blur. From the time Harry, Ron and myself got back from our quest to find Horcruxes, I remember. After that, it is a mystery. Hogwarts comes into my mind, as does the murderous screams of Voldemort. I wish I knew, but no matter how many times I ask, nobody will tell me.
I do know this much; I am at Saint Mungo's Hospital for Magical Maladies and Injuries, located in ward forty seven. It smells of hospital food and clean bed sheets. The ward is always locked, and always filled with healers and medi witches. It is, as you would call it in the muggle world, a psychiatric ward. I swear I am sane. I don't know why they keep me here. I tell them day after day. I sometimes read. Professor McGonagall was kind enough to bring me some old books from the Hogwarts Library. Ginny also comes to see me every week or so. Various members from the order like Remus Lupin, Arthur and Molly Weasley, and Fred and George also pay me social visits.
But the visits I enjoy the most are Harry and Ron. We sometimes sit in my room, and sometimes in the ward talking and laughing. They keep me happy in these bleak times.
The ward is a mixture of girls and boys or various ages, mostly none over the age of thirty. There is poor Amelia. She sits in the corner whispering to herself all day. I would hate to think what she is going through. I couldn't imagine living like her. Elanora is prone to angry outbursts and is quite suicidal. Just the other day she stole a compact mirror from a visitor, smashed it and tried to slit her own wrists and throat.
Mathew doesn't talk. I don't even know what he sounds like. Cassandra doesn't eat, and also suffers from some anxiety disorder. Peter is a pale thin boy who has completely lost his mind after he witnessed the murder of his best friend. Many others I don't talk to, but know them by face. Gabrielle was raped brutally by a couple of death eaters, and has mood swings throughout the entire day. She is also a self harmer, and has to be watched and strip searched every day to find scrapes, scars or abrasions. When this happens, it usually involves a screaming and kicking fit to the examination room. It makes me so depressed to see these poor people. I don't belong here. I want to go home.
Harry and Ron came today. It really brightened my spirits. We sat in my room playing exploding snap. I asked the medi witch if we could play it in the ward, but she said it would scare some of the patients. After that, we sat and talked about old times at school. I sighed and wanted to ask that question again.
"Why am I here?"
They both looked at me and sighed. Ron put his hand on my face.
"We told you Hermione not to worry about that."
I nod. I don't know why I am so happy when they are around, but it is an indescribable feeling. I steer away from the subject once more.
They stay until my lunch arrives. I ask for an extra two cups of tea.
"Oh, I'm sorry Hermione." Says the woman. "I've only got one cup here."
I sigh and look to the boys.
"It's ok Hermione." Said Harry with a smile. I feel sleepy after lunch, and fall asleep. Once I wake up, they are gone. The medi witch comes in to check on me.
"Did Harry and Ron leave?" I ask. She merely nods.
"Do you want to get out of bed now?"
I nod in reply and walk into the ward. I can probably find a good book to read.
I sat inspecting Amelia today. She was again in the corner whispering to herself. She looks up at me and laughs menacingly. I cock my head to the side, wondering what is going on in her mind. She scratches at her arm and whispers to me the same thing she does all the time.
"You're just as mad as I am."
I nod to her like I always do.
"Whatever you say Amelia." I shake my head and move over to Gabrielle. She is sitting down in a chair brushing her hair.
"How are you Gabrielle?" I ask. She manages to smile at me.
"Good." I say with a smile. I find her better company, sitting down next to her and opening my book.
That evening, the healer came in to talk to me before dinner. He is an elderly looking man with blackish-greyish hair. He puts on his glasses and sits with me. We talk about many things. How I'm feeling, how happy I am, and how my memory is. I tell him I still don't remember much. He nods writing everything down with his quill.
"Did Harry or Ron come and see you today?" he asks.
I nod in reply with a smile.
"Oh yes, we played exploding snap. It was very enjoyable."
He nods writing more things down.
"Hermione, you do know why you are here, don't you?"
I sigh frowning.
"Nobody tells me anything Sir." I cross my arms in anger.
"We tell you everyday Hermione." He says sitting forward. I look away and examine the sun setting out the window. He says something, but I don't hear him, or want to. I just want to go home.
"Hermione, are you listening to me?" he says a bit louder. He got my attention. I look towards him.
"I hope Harry and Ron come and see me again soon." I reply. My best friends, the people I love most in the world. All I want to do is see them again.
Tonks painted my nails. They are so pretty. Red, with a clear finish of sparkles. I hold them up to the light and they shine magnificently. I also love Tonk's visits. She talks to me about normal things, girly things. I go to the bathroom, and come back out to find Lupin talking to one of the medi witches with a concerned look on his face. Tonks has her hand on his shoulder. They look at me and smile.
"Hermione!" says Lupin. "Sorry I couldn't come here sooner, I had some work to do."
"That's okay." I said. Tonks smiled.
"I painted her nails. Don't they look pretty?"
He takes my hand and looks at them.
"Very nice." He says with a smile. I blush.
"Oh," I pick up a book on a table nearby. "When you see Professor McGonagall next, could you give her back this book? Tell her thank you, and it was very enjoyable."
Lupin took the book and nodded.
"Of course I will Hermione."
For some reason, his face was sad and tired.
"We're sorry Hermione." Harry said to me the following day. He looked sad as did Ron.
"Whatever for?" I asked, leaning on my elbow on the hospital bed. Ron sighed.
"For what we did to you."
"What did you do to me?"
They both shook their heads.
"Never mind Hermione."
They smiled at me. I decided not to push on the subject. I smiled back.
"How are you feeling?" Ron asked me. I shrugged.
"Ok. As usual, I just want to go home. Neville came and visited me the other day."
"Oh, that's nice." Said Harry yawning. Ron still didn't look ok.
"Hermione, do you really enjoy it when we come to see you?"
I gaped at him, laughing sarcastically.
"What are you talking about? Of course I do!" I gave him a weird look.
"D...don't you want to visit me anymore? Is it because I am here? Don't you like me anymore?"
My eyes dwelled with tears. Ron shook his head, hurrying over to me.
"No no no!" he embraced me in a hug. "We both love you Hermione. You're our best friend!"
I sobbed into his shoulder. He pulled away and looked into my eyes.
"We will never leave you."
Harry nodded grabbing my hand.
"We will always be here for you." They smiled at me as I smiled back.
I actually had something to say to the healer that afternoon.
"I had a bit of a...disagreement with Harry and Ron today." I put my head in my hand.
The healer looked up.
"Oh really? What happened?"
"I don't know if they really like coming to see me."
"Do you like it when they come and see you?"
Once again, I raised my eyebrows and gave him a sarcastic laugh.
"Since nobody will tell me why I am here, they are the only things I have to look forward to in my life!"
I raised my voice, but softened it and sat back down taking a deep breath in.
"I...I'm sorry." I said softly. The healer looked at me again.
"Hermione, we tell you every day why you are here, to try and help you to cope-"
"Hopefully when they come back, maybe we can do something special?"
The healer looked at me and sighed, writing on his bit of parchment once more.
I sat in the ward reading a new book that had been sent over from Hogwarts. It was quiet until Gabrielle started screaming when three medi witches and wizards restrained her for her daily physical exam. That set Elanora off into an angry rage. I just ignored the scene and tried to focus on my book. Mathew was staring at me a lot this morning. It got me angry. I slammed down my book when things got a bit quieter.
"Are you right there?" I asked angrily. "Is there a problem?"
He didn't speak- as usual- but got up and walked away slowly. I slammed the book up to my forehead and took some deep breaths.
What was I doing here!
Professor McGonagall came and saw me today. I was very excited, since she has only visited twice throughout my stay here. She is my favourite teacher, and is now headmistress of Hogwarts She promises me that she will keep lending me books from the Hogwarts library. I am so thankful.
We sat in the ward and she had a cup of tea with me. I told her about my recent visits with Harry and Ron. She didn't have much to say about that. Every so often she would squeeze my hand and have a sad look in her eyes.
"What's the matter Professor?" I asked. She looked at me.
"Oh, nothing dear."
I shrugged and had a sip of my tea.
"Professor, when can I go home?"
She looked at me with a sad smile.
"Can I go home soon?"
"Perhaps, we will see." She finished the rest of her tea and embraced me in a hug, kissing the top of my head.
"Now, you look after yourself."
I nodded, thanking her again. She promised me she would come and see me again soon.
I watched her walk away to the desk near the entrance of the ward and talk to the medi witches. A new medi witch had started that day, and was still getting to know everybody. She walked past me, when I tapped her on the shoulder.
"Yes dear?" she said turning around. I smiled at her.
"Before that lady over there leaves, can you ask her when Harry and Ron will be able to come and visit me next?"
She nodded.
"Of course."
I nodded sitting back down and hoping they would arrive soon.
The medi witch walked towards the older woman at the desk.
"Excuse me." She said. The lady turned around. The other medi witches stoped their conversation.
"Hermione, I think is her name, would like to know when Harry and Ron will be able to come and visit her next."
The medi witches exchanged glances as Professor McGonagall adjusted her glasses with a sigh.
"Harry Potter and Ronald Weasley are dead. They have been for the last seven months."
The medi witch put a hand to her mouth.
"Oh." She said.
"We should have told you about Miss Granger's situation sooner." Said another medi witch. Professor McGonagall nodded.
"She was captured along with the boys at the final battle of Hogwarts. They were both forced to rape Hermione, before they were murdered in front of her."
Professor McGonagall looked towards Hermione and wiped away a tear.
"We were lucky we found her in time. She has been here ever since."
The medi witch nodded towards the school Professor apologetically. She walked away as Professor McGonagall looked towards Hermione and saw her sitting in her chair muttering to herself, rocking backwards and forwards. She forced herself to turn away from the poor girl, as she walked out of the ward, knowing there would be many more visits to come.
