AN: It's been a while since the Season 8 finale, but I still haven't fully recovered! Lexie was my favorite doctor and I seriously grieved for her as if I lost a friend. I wasn't completely satisfied with how quickly the characters seemed to move on after she and Mark died, aside from the whole buying the hospital thing, so this is kind of how I dealt with that frustration. I tried to be as realistic as possible, but feedback would be wonderful!
Also, I own nothing related to Grey's Anatomy. If I did, Lexie and Mark would still be alive and married by now.
It was a rainy, dreary day in Seattle and there was absolutely nothing to do in the Shepherd home. Nine-year-old Zola was bored out of her mind. She was tired of playing with her toys, there was nothing good on TV, Bailey was at a friend's house, and her parents were asleep in their room, both having worked the night shift just a few hours before.
Zola, desperate for something to entertain herself with, decided to look through her toy box once more. As she rifled through her many dolls and board games, her hands came across something small and round. She pulled it out and knew that she was onto something. Grinning to herself and raising the magnifying glass to her eye, she said to herself, "Introducing Zola Shepherd, world-class detective."
Zola decided to explore the entire house to find a mystery she could solve. She found nothing in her bedroom, so she moved on to Bailey's room. She searched everywhere, but found nothing but a few stray Legos under the bed. Zola continued her search in the same manner throughout the rest of the house, but found nothing even the slightest bit interesting. Finally, there was only one room left: the attic. Zola had never been in the attic for any reason other than getting the Christmas decorations out with her father each December. She was curious as to what mysteries might be up there.
Practically jumping up and down from excitement, Zola turned her flashlight on, gripped her magnifying glass, and quietly crawled up the stairs.
At first, it seemed as though Zola had struck out again. She sighed as she found nothing but old furniture, boxes of baby clothes, and random, dust-covered medical textbooks. "Maybe I'll just call and see if Sofia wants to come over and play," she said to herself as she accepted defeat and turned to go back downstairs. Not paying attention to where she was stepping, Zola tripped over a medium-sized cardboard box next to the Christmas ornaments.
When she finally relocated the flashlight that had flown out of her hand, Zola knelt down to examine the contents of the box. The first thing she found was a gray stethoscope with Dr. Grey engraved on the chestpiece.
Cool, this must be Mom's old stuff. This is so much better than the one I got for my birthday in my doctor's kit! Zola thought, putting the stethoscope around her neck like she had seen her mother do a thousand times.
Next, Zola pulled out an old, white lab coat. She looked at the embroidery on the left side, expecting to see her mother or father's name, but was shocked at what she read. Lexie Grey, M.D.
Oh. This is Aunt Lexie's stuff, she thought. Zola had heard her parents mention her name a few times before, but she didn't really know a lot about her aunt. All she knew was that she was her mother's sister who died when Zola was a toddler. Her parents didn't like to talk about her. Whenever she was brought up, they always got a sad, pained look in their eyes before quickly changing the subject. Zola didn't remember her aunt, but she had always been curious about her.
After staring at the name on the coat, Zola noticed the name and logo of the hospital that was stitched on the opposite side. Seattle Grace Mercy West Hospital? What is that? As far as she knew, Zola's parents had always worked at Grey-Sloan Memorial Hospital. She didn't know where the hospital got its name, but just assumed that it had to do with her grandmother, Ellis Grey, who was a famous surgeon.
Zola's confusion was growing the longer she sat there, but she just shrugged and slipped the much-too-big coat on anyway. She continued digging through the box of her aunt's possessions, finding some more medical books with notes scrawled in the margins, a bottle of perfume, an etch-a-sketch, and a ping pong ball gun. (She had to admit, she was pretty bewildered about those last two items).
As the afternoon went on, the box grew emptier and emptier and Zola's curiosity about her aunt grew bigger and bigger. Eventually, Zola reached for the last two items. The first, a framed picture, made her smile widely. She recognized nearly every person in the picture, though they looked much younger than how she was used to seeing them. Her parents were there, as well as their entire hospital family, and they were standing in what looked like her Uncle Alex's kitchen. There were only two people she didn't know. A handsome man with a scruffy beard and light, slightly graying hair was standing next to her Aunt Callie and, in the center of the group next to Zola's mom, a pretty young woman with dark brown hair was holding a smiling baby Zola. Everyone was laughing in the direction of this woman, so she assumed that she had said something funny just before the picture was taken. Zola figured that this must be Aunt Lexie. She was smiling one of the most radiant smiles the young girl had ever seen and looking down at her niece with complete love and adoration in her eyes.
The last item in the box was an envelope, and Zola was surprised to see her own name written across the front. She eagerly pulled out its contents, which happened to be a birthday card that read, Happy First Birthday! She opened the card and found the entire page covered in sprawling, feminine handwriting. Zola settled into the old couch she was sitting on and began to read.
My sweet ZoZo,
Wow! I can't believe you're already a year old! It seems like just yesterday that we first laid eyes on you at Seattle Grace Mercy West. You've grown so much in the past few months! You took your first steps, grew a few more teeth, and just yesterday you said your first word, "Mama!" (Now let's work on LEXIE!) I'm so proud to be your aunt, Zola. You're the most gorgeous, adorable baby I've ever met and you're such a blessing in our lives. I've never seen your mommy and daddy happier than they are now that they have you! There's just something about you, Zo, that makes it impossible to feel sad when you're around. Whenever I have a bad day, I come home and just hold you for a few minutes and everything is instantly better. It doesn't matter if I have a tough case at work, boy problems, or anything else going on; your sweet smile and the sparkle you get in your eyes when we play dolls or have a tea party make everything else insignificant. I really don't know where I would be if you weren't here to keep me sane!
I can't wait to watch you grow up, Zola! I'm so excited to be "cool Aunt Lexie." I'll take you to the mall, buy you the best birthday presents, and, most importantly, I'll always be there for you. Whether you need boy advice, homework help, girl talk, or just need someone to confide in, you can always trust me to be there as soon as possible. That's a promise.
I know it probably seems ridiculous for me to have written out this long card since you can't even say my name yet, let alone read. But, I've always had this thing for birthday cards and I love making them special for every birthday. Maybe you'll find this in ten years and finally understand what I'm writing. For now, I can't wait to see what milestones you'll experience this year and I wish you all the best, my favorite little niece! Happy first birthday, ZoZo! I love you more than you'll ever know!
Love,
Aunt Lexie
Zola finished reading and sat back in the couch. She stared at the words on the page, tears blurring her vision. She was overwhelmed by a sudden rush of affection for her long lost aunt. She clutched the card to her chest, feeling for the first time a connection to the woman she had grown up wondering about. The little girl remained in this position for several minutes, silently grieving over the family member she would never know.
"Zola, is that you up there?"
Zola was snapped out of her thoughts at the sound of her mother's voice coming up the stairs. "Yeah, Mom. I'm over here," she said as Meredith opened the door to the attic and flipped the light on.
"What are you doing up here?" Meredith asked, maneuvering her way through all the old boxes to the couch Zola was currently curled up on.
"Well, I was really bored, so I decided to play detective. There weren't any mysteries anywhere else in the house, so I came up here to see if I could find anything," Zola replied.
"Were you successful?"
"Yeah, I think I was. I found a lot of cool stuff!"
"Oh yeah? Like wha-," Meredith was taken aback when she saw the contents of the box her daughter had emptied and the white coat she was dressed in. "Is that…?" she choked out.
Zola nervously shifted in her seat when she saw the look on her mom's face. "I can put it all back if you want me to. I'm sorry, Mom, I should have asked first."
Meredith sighed. She knew this would probably happen eventually. She couldn't keep her sister a secret from her children forever; it was an insult to Lexie's memory. "No, it's alright, Zo. Just please be careful with it, okay?" Meredith slowly walked over to the couch and sat down next to her daughter. "Mind if I join you?"
Zola shook her head and pulled the box closer to them. "Mom, will you tell me about Aunt Lexie?" she asked timidly.
Meredith decided she couldn't avoid this subject any longer. She took a deep breath and finally said, "Sure, baby. What do you want to know?"
Zola thought for a moment. She had so many questions, but didn't know where to start. "What was she like? You've never really talked about her much before."
"I know, and I'm sorry. I just miss her a lot and it's hard to talk about it sometimes." Meredith paused for a second before beginning her explanation. "Aunt Lexie was the kindest, most generous person I've ever met. I didn't know I had a sister until I was a grown-up, so I was confused when I first met her. I didn't know how to be a sister, so I wasn't very nice to her for a while. She was extremely stubborn and persistent, though, and loved me anyway. Once we got to know each other, we got really close and she even lived with me and your Dad for a while."
"Was she a surgeon, too?"
"Yeah, and she was a really good one. She had a photographic memory, which means she could remember everything she ever read really, really well. She was so smart, and so good with patients. She and your dad fixed more brains together than I can count. Even if you didn't know her well, you could tell she really cared about both her patients and the people she worked with. One time, I made her an omelet for breakfast, not knowing she was allergic to eggs. She ate it anyway, even though it was disgusting and it made her break out into hives, just because she didn't want to hurt my feelings."
"Tell me more, please. I want to know everything," Zola said eagerly.
Meredith thought for a moment, then smiled when she decided what to say. "Well, she hated apples. Hated them. She said they shouldn't even be allowed to be a fruit. And, she could draw really well on an etch-a-sketch. Like, really well. She could have been a professional. She drew a picture of you one day and it looked just like you."
"So that's why that was in the box! I was so confused!" Zola exclaimed.
Meredith laughed with her daughter and continued. "She played the trombone. I never heard her, but she said she wasn't very good at it. She was really good at math, which helped her a lot at the hospital. And she used her hands a lot when she talked, you know, like I do sometimes?"
Zola nodded and giggled as her mother gestured her hands without even realizing she was doing it. She then reached down and grabbed the ping pong ball gun and showed it to Meredith.
"What is this, Mom? Why is it with Aunt Lexie's stuff?" she asked.
Meredith threw her head back and laughed at the memory. When she caught her breath, she explained the story to her bewildered daughter.
"Your Uncle Alex had this patient a long time ago, a little boy about your age. The gun was his, but he kept shooting ping pong balls at all the doctors so Alex took it away from him. Somehow, Aunt Lexie got ahold of it in the cafeteria. That same day, I had a really important patient, like so important that I had to have a secret service agent follow me everywhere I went. When I went down for lunch, Aunt Lexie kept shooting me in the face. And then, when I turned to leave, she shot the agent in the back! The looks on both of their faces were priceless!"
Zola joined in her mom's laughter. After a few seconds of comfortable silence, she asked, "What about me? I found an old birthday card, and she wrote that she loved me a lot."
Meredith wrapped an arm around her daughter. "She loved you so much, Zo. She called you her 'favorite little niece.' She babysat you all the time, even on Valentine's Day, so that your Dad and I could go out. She played with you when she came home from work, spoiled you rotten with the cutest little outfits, and tried so hard to teach you how to say her name. We even decided that if anything ever happened to us, she would be the one to take care of you."
Zola smiled, remembering what her aunt had written in the birthday card. "Did I ever learn her name? You know, when I was still a baby?"
Meredith looked down at her lap and her voice filled with sadness. "You did, but she never got to hear you say it. I remember the first time you said it, though. It was about a week or so after she died. I was looking all over the house for you, then I finally heard little footsteps in Lexie's room. I went in, and you were toddling around with the most confused expression on your face. You were looking everywhere in her room, like she was playing hide-and-seek and would come out any second. You kept calling out, 'Exie? Exieeee?' You didn't understand that she wasn't coming back. You did it for weeks after the accident."
Zola felt the mood shift to a more serious one, and cautiously asked the question that had been burning in her mind for years. "Mom? How did it happen? You know, when she…" she trailed off.
Meredith sighed and tried to figure out how to word the story in a way that would spare her nine-year-old all the gory details and avoid scaring her. "Well, we were on a plane one night, on our way to another hospital to do a big surgery. It was me, your father, Aunt Lexie, Aunt Cristina, Aunt Arizona, and your Uncle Mark. All of a sudden, something… something went wrong with the engine, and the next thing we knew, the plane had crashed and we were in the middle of the woods."
Zola's eyes grew large as she let out a small gasp. "Planes don't do that anymore, do they?"
"No, honey, we make sure we get on safe planes now," Meredith reassured her daughter. "Anyway, most of us were okay enough to walk around and try to help the others, but Aunt Lexie was hurt really badly. She got stuck under a piece of the plane and there was nothing we could do to get her out; it was too heavy. She had broken a lot of bones and there was a lot of damage to her organs. She wasn't in pain for very long, though. Her injuries were just too much and she died after a few minutes."
Zola was quiet for a moment, trying to wrap her head around what she had just been told. Eventually she softly asked, "Was she alone? I mean... She didn't have to die all by herself, did she? That would be so scary."
"No, she wasn't alone. Uncle Mark, Sofia's dad, was with her the whole time. He and Aunt Lexie loved each other just as much as your dad and I love each other. He held her hand and made her feel less scared until she was finally gone."
"What happened to him? Didn't he die, too?"
Meredith grimaced. She hadn't always liked Mark, but he was a good friend to Derek after the Addison thing had blown over and she had eventually started to think of him as a brother. She also knew her sister was happier than she had ever been before when she and Mark were together. "Mark didn't seem hurt when we were in the woods, but when we were rescued, we found out that he had a lot of injuries inside his body that we couldn't see. He was in the hospital for a few weeks, but he eventually died. That's... That's where the hospital got its name. It used to be called Seattle Grace Mercy West Hospital, but after the plane crash, we changed it to Grey Sloan Memorial so that Mark and Aunt Lexie would never be forgotten."
Zola listened with a half-sad, half-angry expression on her face. With tears pooling in her eyes, she exclaimed, "It's not fair that they had to die! Why did that have to happen? You don't have your sister anymore and Sofia doesn't have a daddy. I don't understand it."
Meredith pulled her daughter into a hug. "Oh, Zola. None of us understand why they had to leave us. I still miss them every single day. The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing that they're happy now. They don't hurt anymore, Zo. They're together now, they're in love, and we'll see them again someday."
"You really think so?"
"I know so," Meredith said, kissing her daughter's head.
"You really loved Aunt Lexie, didn't you, Mom?"
"Yeah, I did. She was my best friend, aside from your dad and Aunt Cristina. I would've done anything for her, and I know she felt the same about me. It still feels strange to think that she's not going to walk in the front door at any minute and come bouncing in to tell me about whatever cool surgery she just did."
"I love her, too, Mom. Even though I don't remember her, I love her. I think we would have been best friends," Zola said, smiling.
"I know you would be," Meredith replied.
"Thanks for telling me about her, Mom. I'm glad I know now."
"You're welcome, baby. It was kind of nice to talk about it," Meredith said. Suddenly realizing that they had been up in the attic for quite a while, she glanced at her watch. "It's getting kind of late, Zo. Why don't you take that stuff off and go wake your dad up? We'll go pick Bailey up and then go out for pizza."
"Okay!" Zola did as she was told and bounded downstairs to find her father.
Meredith reverently picked up Lexie's things and put them back in the abandoned cardboard box, reliving sweet memories with every item. She smiled as she stared at her sister's sweet face in the photograph and giggled once more when she shot one last ping pong ball out of the gun. She sobered up when she reached the last items, however. Meredith picked up the coat and timidly sprayed a bit of the perfume in the air and was overcome with emotion as she got a whiff of pure Lexie. She sat in the floor for a few minutes, silent tears rolling down her cheeks as she hugged her little sister's lab coat to her chest. She hadn't allowed herself to focus on how much she missed Lexie for a long time. She knew it wasn't healthy to bury her feelings, but it just hurt too much to think about her loss. She missed everything about the little sister she had come to love so dearly. She missed her infectious laugh, how she rambled when she was nervous, the way her eyes sparkled when she talked about a surgery, the way she would hug her, even when she tried to pull away, and make her feel like everything was going to be okay... God, she missed her.
Eventually, Meredith pulled herself together and stood from her spot in the floor. She felt much better after releasing all that pent-up emotion. She knew there would always be a twinge of sadness in her heart, but allowing herself to grieve for a few minutes had lifted a huge weight from her shoulders. She folded the coat and put it and the perfume back in the box and tucked it away in a safe place, but not before grabbing the framed picture and laying it aside. She would take that back downstairs and give it a home on her nightstand. It'll be nice to wake up to a little bit of Lexie every day, she smiled as she walked back down to rejoin her family.
