I was bored.
Based on LolliDictator's manuals.
It was only then that it had suddenly occurred to Monika that maybe, just maybe, her grandmother was a tad too worried about her and her constant need for adventure. Monika had always identified herself as an explorer ever since she had read the novel 'Coraline' in fourth grade, and she prided herself with the extensive knowledge of her grandmother's extremely messy garage. She had even once built a fort out of her old mattress that she had used as a toddler, moving boxes, and the box they kept the Christmas tree in. And she had spent many an afternoon lazily rolling about inside with a blanket, flashlight, and a good book. Unfortunately, her grandmother was worried that the box they kept the Christmas tree in would collapse in on her and squish her little head into pudding, so she had the maid destroy her, as she now just decided to call it , "Fortress of Solitude" (even thought it had been years since the incident, and back then, she wasn't even into Superman; only the show 'Smallville'). Even so, Monika continued to explore the garage until she was simply too old, lazy, and busy to bother herself with doing so.
And yet, Monika could understand her grandmother's point of view (despite still being extremely angry over the fort incident), and would always comply with her demands so as to not worry her.
But this…
This was ridiculous.
Her grandmother had said something about getting her some form of protection for when she felt like going outside for whatever reason. But Monika had assumed she would buy her a dog (she had wanted a Collie or German Shepherd, even though she still loved the little one-eyed dog that lived with her grandmother). Instead, what she got was a fairly huge box sitting in front of her. Or maybe it was a crate, seeing as that it was made of wood, with heavy-duty chains wrapped around it so as not to let anything (or anyone) out. Attached to it was a minute plastic bag with what appeared to be a manual inside of it. Monika, being the fairly impatient person that she is, immediately tore the bag up and snatched the booklet into her Sharpie stained hands (She had been messing around earlier in Theatre class with Hunter that day). As soon as she laid eyes on the cover, she began to giggle hysterically at her grandmother's choice of 'bodyguard'. Beside her, the one-eyed dog, named Chirifu, gazed at her through curly white hair (that was in definite need for a haircut) before settling himself down again. She cooed at him and scratched his head before squatting down beside him and turning her attention and focus back to the box in question. It's not that she wasn't happy with her grandmother's choice, it just really took her by surprise. She had been so busy with dancing and schoolwork that she didn't really have time to read or watch her beloved Axis Powers Hetalia. Sure, she browsed for fanart here and there, but she would always be distracted by something. Idly, she skimmed through the manual; mentally scoffing to herself and thinking, 'I don't need a manual, I can HANDLE THIS.' She stood up and was about to bust open the crate with her non-existent SUPAPOWAZ, when she decided to stop and think.
"You know," she began; not really speaking to anyone, "Maybe I really should read that manual." Chirifu looked up at her, and she nodded to him.
She gazed at the very first page, making sure to mentally highlight anything that might deem useful in the near future. She had gone ecstatic when she read that this particular 'unit' (as the book called it) came with military and history memorabilia. But it died down when she read that it came with alcohol, something that she was not comfortable with. After debating whether or not to take out the vodka bottles before waking him up (she decided not to, for fear of enraging the unit), she scanned the safe-proven methods of getting her particular unit out of his box.
While torturing the poor thing by impersonating his younger sister seemed like a delightful idea to Monika at first, her conscience wouldn't let her do it. And the second method seemed way to dangerous for Monika to handle. She pondered over the third choice, which involved cooking Chinese food; one of her favourite things. Her grandmother did have some leftovers from P.F. Chang's, she could just put some in the microwave and be done with it! Then again, it seemed like all of the options put her in the face of danger…
She sighed and patted Chirifu on the head. What was her grandmother thinking? Leaving her alone with such a violent "protector". She had probably only typed in "bodyguard" in the search engine at the company website and clicked on the one who would probably be the scariest. 'Wait,' thought Monika, 'Can my grandma even use a computer?' The thought did not stay with her for long because Chirifu sneezed and brought her out of her daze. She sighed for what seemed like the hundredth time today and stood up while apologising to the unit, even though she knew it couldn't hear her.
She cleared her throat and tried to project just as her acting teacher had taught her to do, "Брат."
Immediately, the box began to shake furiously as if there were an earthquake. inside Choked sobs, and tiny mutters of 'GO HOME!' were heard, and guilt filled Monika's mind as Chirifu began to growl at the crate in question. She sauntered over and, quite carefully, removed the chains before throwing them into the corner to be retrieved later. She took a deep breath before pulling on the top with all her might. It came off with a soft 'pop', and she looked inside to see an exact replica of one of her favourite characters. The man in question peeked out from behind his sleeve, eyes filled with pure fear, before curiosity and relief replaced it.
"Ah, you are not Natalia."
Monika shook her head, trying to remember the very small amounts of Russian she knew, "Нет"
He looked extremely happy, and Monika stuck out her hand to introduce herself (once again in her broken Russian), "Меня зовут Моника; I can't actually speak Russian, but I'm trying to learn."
He smiled before shaking her hand (rather tightly, she noted), before introducing himself, "Ah, Меня зовут Иван."
"Ivan," Monika repeated, as if just getting used to the sound, "I can tell that we're going to be friends."
It was kinda weird writing about myself in third person, but I wanted to be a little different from all the other fics about LolliDictator's manuals.
P.S. if you get where I got the very last sentence, you get…I don't know; what do you want?
