"All I Know"
by Lucy-Brianna Taylor

In all the time I've been a hardcore fan of this series I gotta wonder why I didn't start ficcing for it earlier! (laughs) Anyway, here's a little angsty piece based on the "Starry Night" episode.

(Standard disclaimers apply. Not mine, just borrowing.)


"She kissed another guy, Cory. Just face it," Shawn sighed. "It's over...it's really over."

"You're wrong, Shawn!" Cory snapped. "It's not over. It never was over, and it never will be over."

"Cory, you have to face reality sooner or later."

"No,you're the one who has to face reality. It is an undeniable truth that Topanga and I were meant to be together, and as long as this truth stands, it's not over. Even if she did kiss another guy, it's not over," Cory said.

"Tell me, Cor. How does it feel?"

"How does what feel?"

"Lying to yourself over and over like this. Refusing to accept the facts. Setting yourself up for heartache."

Cory opened his mouth to answer, but no words came.

"It's over, Cor," Shawn finished.

"It's over."

Topanga kissed another guy.

"It's over."

No matter how deep my feelings run, she's moved on.

"It's really over."

The tears welling in Cory's eyes finally spilled over as he sank down onto the couch. Shawn immediately sat down next to him and put a hand on his shoulder.

"Reality hurts, doesn't it?" he murmured.

"We were together all our lives," Cory choked. "Why did it have to end? Why like this? Why at all?"

"Cause you were stupid and kissed another girl," Shawn said, immediately wishing he hadn't. 'That was stupid! Wanna make him feel even worse?'

"Exactly. I was an idiot. I threw away an entire lifetime with the one woman I love more than anything, just because of one little moment of uncertainty! This is all my fault, Shawn!" Cory sobbed. "I threw everything away and now I'll never get it back! It's over! She's found another guy, we'll never see each other again and I'll spend the whole rest of my life, alone and pathetic, wondering what might have been! All because of a stupid, stupid mistake!"

"Cory!"

On pure instinct, Shawn pulled his friend into a tight hug, rubbing his back.

"Shh...Cory, it's going to be all right. Really, it is," he whispered.

"No it isn't. You said it yourself. It's over," Cory mumbled, burying his face in Shawn's shoulder and gripping the fabric of his shirt.

"...I know...and I'm sorry," Shawn said. "I was way too harsh."

"But you were right."

"No...the truth is, I don't know anything. I only hear what I hear, and assume stuff.
I don't know if she's moving on or not sure herself whether it's over," Shawn said. "I just didn't want you to get hurt if it was."

"It'd serve me right for being so stupid," Cory sobbed.

"Cor..."

The curly headed teen looked up, tears streaming down his face.

"All I know...is that Topanga is the only girl I've ever loved, and now that I've lost her, I know more than ever that she's the only one for me. But it doesn't matter, because she may never come back to me. Things may never be the same between us again," Cory whispered.

"Or maybe she will come back to you eventually, and things will be okay," Shawn said. "Cory, we don't know anything for sure right now. All we can really do is sit back and wait and see what happens."

"I don't want it to be over," Cory said. "I want to be with her for the rest of my life, Shawn."

"Then you will be," Shawn said. "Y'know how everyone says 'think positively and good things will happen'? And all that talk about no expectations or disappointments, just hope?"

"Yeah?"

"Well, just do it. Just have faith in her, Cor. I know she loves you, otherwise she wouldn't have been angry enough to break up with you in the first place," Shawn said. "Just hope she'll come back and everything'll be fine, and it'll be more likely to happen."

Cory wiped away his tears with the back of his hand.

"You really think so?"

"Come on, even if you're crying and being depressed right now, you believe more than anyone that you and Topanga are meant to be." Shawn smiled.

"True." Cory smiled a tiny smile.

"So just think positive! She'll come back to you eventually!" Shawn said.

"...You're right. ...Sometimes it really hurts, thinking it might really be over, but I can't think that way. Not if I want to be right...not if I want her back," Cory said, sniffling.

"Exactly."

Cory's smile widened a bit.

"Thanks, Shawn," he said.

"No problem." Shawn smiled and patted Cory on the shoulder. "It's what friends are for, right?"

Cory nodded, tears beginning to dry up.

"Yeah."

"Come on, let's go to Chubbie's and drown our sorrows over our workload," Shawn suggested.

"Sounds good." Cory straightened his jacket. "I still can't believe Feeny is still on feudalism!" he said, standing up.

"I know! Can he get anymore boring?" Shawn laughed, grabbing his wallet. They left the apartment, laughing and talking the whole way.

In the back of his mind, Cory still worried about the situation with Topanga.

But he would get her back.

Determination was stronger than destiny any day of the week, after all.

(End)