For the love of Percy

Disclaimer: I do not own these characters. They belong to Rick Riordan

"Lead them there!" Percy shouted. "Promise me."

"I - I will"

Nico's mind was blank. He felt soemthing as old as the primordial Goddess Gaia herself. It was fear, an agonizing guttural fear. Percy can not fall into that pit. He could feel it in his bones, the darkness emanating from the pit. It went straight to Tratarus. Nico had been to Tartarus. And it is no place for the son of the Sea God. Nature rejuvenates Percy. Water is what makes him whole, it cures him, nurtures him. Tartarus is all about fire, devoid of any water. For most, Tratarus is a place of despair. Nico, however, knows that Tartarus is not a place. It is a being. The pit is a manifestation of the being's body. The lord already knows that Percy and she fell into his clutches. Tartarus will be the death of Percy.

Right then, Nico heard his voice "We're staying together. You're not getting away from me. Never again." She replied, "As long as we're together."

Nico was far too much in despair to process that it mattered not for them that they are falling to their deaths, but that they will welcome it together. He heard Hazel scream, and he heard himself scream too. He screamed for Frank to turn into an eagle and rescue them from the pit. He screamed for Jason to control the wind and help them. He screamed for Leo to do something about the pathetic fate that awaits Percy and her. He screamed because he knew that he will never see those sea green eyes, ever again.

And then, Percy let go.

And Nico knew that it is over. The only thing that mattered is gone, forever. Whatever reason he had to stay alive is dead. He had no reason to live anymore. The world did not make any sense to him. A world without Percy is not worth living in. And then, it happened. From all the mental and physical exhaustion, he blacked out.

When he woke up, he was almost angry at himself for not melting into shadows. He saw Hazel crying softly into Frank's chest. He was again overcome with guilt. How could he be so selfish when he had a sister who needed him? He managed to say "Hazel". He did not anticipate Hazel's reaction. She was clutching her heart and sobbing and thanking him for coming back. She fed him Nectar and ambrosia.

The six and coach Hedge did all they could to make him feel comfortable and welcome. And yet, all he felt was grief and despair. They even offered him to stay in Percy's cabin. He barely escaped before the dams of his eyes burst. Nobody must know how much pain was he in. Nobody should know.

Nico spent most of his days on the top mast, under the pretext that he was keeping an eye out for monsters. However, one night, he went into Percy's cabin. The cabin was modest. It had an unmade bed, and a desk. On top of the desk, was a picture of Sally Jackson and Paul Blofis, with Percy and her. All four were smiling. They looked so happy and carefree. The picture broke Nico's heart into a million pieces. He could not understand how, but it felt as if it hurt physically. The shards of his broken heart were gnawing his insides raw. His tears fell uninhibited and unabashed.

Nico had thought that he only had a crush on Percy. Now he understood that he was perhaps in love. He had not loved anyone since Bianca. He was the son of the God of Death. All living things were ultimately destined to his Father's domain. He had learnt the hard way that making bonds of affection only resulted in pain and agony. But all it took was a pair of sea green eyes to crumble his walls into nothingness. He found solace in the thoughts that she was with Percy. He was the strongest Demigod Nico knew, but to survive Tartarus, one needed one's wits as well. For wits, who better than her? For all he knew, he still could not utter her name without a tinge of envy. Why is it that Percy's eyes light up only for her? Why is it that she had the sole right to his lips? Why is it that his heart was hers and hers alone? Why is it that it was with her thoughts that he woke up in the wolf house? Why was she a part of his being, without which he would cease to be? It was not fair. It was never fair. But Nico was the son of the God of Death. If he understood one thing better than anybody, it was that it is never fair. Death is not fair. He was grateful that Percy saved him from the Bronze jar. He could feel it in his bones that Percy wanted to be Nico's friend. But how could he be Percy's friend when he was clearly in love?

Nico wanted Percy to be happy, more than anything in the world. He understood that Percy's happiness begins and ends with her. And the best thing for them would be if Nico left permanently. Even if there was a one in a million chance for Percy and her to survive Tartarus, find the Doors of Death and come back alive, Nico could never be at peace in Camp Half Blood. It would be better for his sanity to leave without a second glance. As much as he wanted Percy to be happy, he could not bear to see her in his arms.

Every moment without Percy was torture. He could not eat, could not sleep. He refused to talk, lest his eyes betrayed him. Percy was a hero. Nico was a freak and there was no hope for him. The child of Underworld had no place in the land of the living. Nico felt like dying. Death seemed a better option than anything. But he had a promise to keep. An oath to keep with the final breath. He would take them to the House of Hades, and then he would leave for good.

Fighting monsters seemed the best time for Nico. Fighting physical monsters seemed easier than fighting his psychological demons. The flesh and blood monsters mercifully did not aim for the gaping wounds of his psyche. His mental demons lacked such ettiquette.

In the House oh Hades, Nico could barely contain his beating heart, which threatened to burst any moment. In his wildest imagination, Nico had not expected to see Percy return. He was also happy, truly happy for her. He had realized that there is no Percy without her, and he was happy. Because Percy was alive. He was returning exactly where he was supposed to be. He was coming home. And then, the Doors of Death opened, and they spilled out. Percy was weak, but he will live. Nico's happiness knew no bounds. He looked into the sea green eyes. The world made sense again. It was going to be okay, Nico did not know how, but he promised himself that he will love again. He will love somebody as much as they loved each other. He will love somebody as much as he had loved Bianca, and perhaps more. But, for now, for one last time, he found solace in those sea green eyes.