Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.
Smashed to Smithereens
By: ChoCedric
The service is heartbreaking, and as Remus sits, cold and numb, in one of the pews, he can't believe it came to this. As the priest drones on and on about what wonderful people James and Lily were, the werewolf can't help but think the speaker didn't know them at all. He remembers four boys, their faces alight with laughter as they plotted their pranks, a fiery, redheaded girl always trying to stop them. He remembers hilarious escapades on full moon nights, where they were all careless and carefree.
How could you, Sirius? Remus cries inside his head as tears roll down his cheeks. All his friends believed in him, believed he wouldn't go dark like his family, but Sirius's true colors showed when he betrayed Lily and James. Remus can still remember Dumbledore's grave expression as he told him all that had happened, about how Harry had survived but James and Lily were now cold and lifeless, about how Harry was sent to his relatives, about how Sirius murdered Peter and twelve innocent Muggles in cold blood and was sent to Azkaban. Remus feels sick as he stares fixedly at the marble table where James and Lily's coffins are lying.
I should've known, Remus thinks miserably. He had no right to have friends anyway, he's a rotten, no-good werewolf, just an animal who deserves to be scorned and ridiculed. He should've known it wouldn't last when he met three boys and a girl who didn't care what he was, who loved him just for being him. He can remember them working painstakingly hard to become Animagi for him, and he wonders what on Earth went wrong with Sirius. Were you ever my friend, Padfoot? He thinks desperately.
After the service is over, Remus goes with the other mourners outside for the burial. It is almost unbearable to watch the caskets being closed, and he is one of the people who helps to carry them outside to where the cemetery is. As the caskets of his very best friends are lowered into the ground, he cries bitter, bitter tears, lamenting the fact that he will never be loved ever again, never laugh again, never be sane on a full moon again.
His world, his entire existence, has been smashed to smithereens, and he knows he'll never be the same again. That lifetime of laughter and love that he experienced is all gone now. He sadly takes a handful of dirt and tosses it on top of the two coffins, and that act makes it final. James and Lily are gone, killed at Sirius Black's hand. He feels nauseated as Dumbledore puts a hand on his shaking shoulder.
He knows that later, he will have to attend Peter's funeral, and it sickens him that there won't even be a body to bury, all there'll be is a finger. Peter finally got what he always wanted, to be a hero, an avenger. The shy, clumsy little boy who asked the other Marauders to raid the kitchens for him was brutally struck down, and Remus knows that no matter how many years pass, he'll never get over it.
As he leaves the graveyard along with everyone else, he knows that he now has a long, miserable life to lead. He will scrounge around looking for employment, looking for any company he can keep, and he'll miss his friends terribly. His heart will ache constantly, but he'll always remind himself that asking for any friendship was asking too much. For he is nothing but a lycanthrope, and doesn't deserve it. As he Apparates away from James and Lily's resting place, one final silent tear falls down his cheek as he says a mournful goodbye.
