it has been ~forever~ since i last wrote anything so let's do this :') this will be a collection of b99 drabbles for shipping week, mostly peraltiago and dianetti!
day one; flamingo
"Peralta, this isn't a conventional case, I must warn you," Holt said, staring at Jake where he was standing in his office. Jake merely scoffed.
"I can handle anything, Captain, as long as Amy goes with me," he said, glancing behind him where his girlfriend was happily doing paperwork at her desk. Together they were unstoppable.
Holt slid the case file across the desk. "Our guy runs a flamingo farm. One of the most vicious flamingos, nicknamed 'Roo', escaped the premises two hours ago and is now on the loose, terrorizing all of New York City. We're all counting on you two to bring him in."
"Cool cool cool cool cool, no doubt no doubt. We can do this. Besides, he's just a flamingo! What harm can he do?"
thirty minutes later
"OH MY GOD AMY WE CAN'T DO THIS," Jake screamed as they ran side by side, with Roo chasing behind them, slowly closing the gap.
Amy kept slapping herself. "C'mon, Amy, just think back to that book about flamingos you read in second grade, c'mon, why can't I remember the one piece of information actually useful to us..." she kept muttering to herself.
Luckily, most of the area had retreated to their homes in fear of the flamingo, but there were a few pedestrians gaping on the side of the road. "Nothing to see here, sorry, just a normal day at work," Jake said, not quashing their fear at all.
Roo was now just a few feet away and they wouldn't be able to stay ahead much longer. "Jake, we need lead him into the next alley and corner him!" Amy shouted, saying the first thing that came to her mind, already slowly formulating a plan.
"What? Won't we get eaten, then?"
"Just trust me!"
"Honestly, I trust you more than I trust myself," he said, smiling at her.
Amy sighed but smiled back. "I love you too, babe, but now really isn't the time. Maybe try again when we aren't being chased by a murderous flamingo!" she said.
"Right, yes, sorry." Roo was now exactly on their heels, and could probably bite Jake's head off at this distance. "Over there!" Jake yelled, gesturing to the nearest alley.
The two of them ran to the end of the alley, panting heavily as Roo followed straight behind them. Fishing for something to do, he held out his badge. "NYPD, you're under arrest."
Roo didn't listen, and instead grabbed Jake's badge with his beak, swallowed, and hissed menacingly. "Okay, never mind then," he said, wincing.
Turning to Amy, he saw the exact moment her eyes lit up with a plan. As Roo approached them, growling, Amy grabbed Jake by his jacket collar and pulled him close.
"Uh, Amy, is this really the right time—"
"Like I said, trust me," she said before pulling him into a kiss. Roo may have been a vicious flamingo, but he apparently was somehow polite enough to wait and not attack the couple while they were making out. "Little tidbits from second grade flamingo books really do help you get far in life," Amy whispered, making Jake laugh quietly.
While Roo was awestruck by their love, Jake and Amy slowly approached him while still kissing, and like a ninja, Jake got the handcuffs around the flamingo's legs and then some rope around the beak.
As they made their way back to the precinct, Jake said, "As awesome as it was kissing you while handcuffing a murderous flamingo, I am never taking on any cases about flamingos ever again."
