"I will need to carry out an examination," Dr Turner said, quietly and carefully.

"Yes," Sister Bernadette agreed. No emotion, no outpouring of fear or anxiety. A simple answer. If only her mind would calm itself in the same manner as her outward appearance.

The problem, Sister Bernadette supposed, with having such a wonderful day helping Dr Turner with the X-ray van was that the news that her own X-ray contained some worrying results seemed unreal to her. It was as if it was just out of reach. Logically, she knew it was the shock, but deep down she felt so disconnected from it. Almost as if it was happening to someone else.

"Would you like me to get Sister Julienne?" the doctor asked.

Sister Bernadette shook her head slightly, looking down at her hands which she had moved to her lap. They were clasped together, almost an automatic reaction to the news – to pray. And yet she barely knew how to begin. She had already wished, out loud to her Sister, that she were physically ill. Is this not what she had requested from God? Is this not what she deserved for being so ungrateful for good physical health? For allowing her mind to wander to what her life might be like if she were to leave the religious life? In truth, she felt far too much shame to even speak to Sister Julienne.

"I think I would like some time alone," she whispered. "Just for a moment."

Dr Turner nodded and got up from his chair. He walked around the desk standing next to her, his hand magnetically being pulled to touch her, to try and comfort her. He was incredibly fond of Sister Bernadette, more than a man ought to be for a woman who was out of reach. He stopped his hand from reaching out to her, it would not be appropriate and he doubted welcome at this particular moment.

"Of course," he said. "Would you like me to tell Sister Julienne?"

Sister Bernadette nodded, "Yes, please, if you wouldn't mind."

"Not at all," he said, his voice as gentle as he could manage. "When you are ready, I shall examine you. No rush."

"Thank you, doctor," Sister Bernadette managed to say. She just about managing to hold her resolve together until he exited the room.