This is completely out of character, and stereotypical, but I would like to announce (for the record) that I have read the books and find the miniseries intolerably spastic (in a good way) . . .



Prunesquallor grinned and yelled, "Royal Flush, read 'em and weep fellas!" Laying down the cards with a flourish.

"Aw man!" Lord Groan slurred, throwing down his cards and taking an excessive slurp of his tequila.

At this point it was 11:32 and the royal family of Groan had collected in Prunesquallor's home to play a ::cough:: harmless game of strip poker and just a little drinking. Most of the family members (not including the prunesquallors who were unusually prone to taking off their clothes) had most of their clothes on - but the night was young . . .

Each member at the table grudgingly removed a piece of their clothing, piling their items in the corner of Prunesquallor's study.

Steerpike remained strangely motionless.

Gertrude yelled with a burp, "TAKE IT OFF, BABY!"

Fuchsia nudged him with a sharp elbow, "Yeah, I didn't wait all this time fer nothin! I expect a show, DAMMIT!"

"YEAH!" Yelled a voice in the corner.

Irma stared, "Was tha' YOU Alfred?!"

Alfred shrugged, "Well, what did you expect? I've GOTTA be around fifty, and even though I DID hit on Fuchsia fer a bit-"

Fuchsia nodded knowingly.

"-I'VE GOTTA BE GAY."

Gertrude belched, "Hey Groanie, you owe me fifty bucks."

Lord Groan shuddered, "Aw, do I have to?"

"WAIT, I still wanna see why Steerpike ain't takin' off his clothes!" Fuchsia yelled over her father

"Hey, that's a good point." Irma agreed, turning her interest to the (now pale) Steerpike.

::Silence::

"Well?" The Poet asked, peeking his head out of the bathroom.

"Well I . . ." (Steerpike muttered unintelligibly)

"Eh?" Lord Groan grunted.

"I'm NOT WEARING UNDERWEAR!"

::Silence::

"That's not a bad thing . . ."

"I'm going commando myself . . ."

"HEHEHEHE!"

The latter came from Irma, who was now giggling insensibly.

"Well, I'm wearing enough underclothes for the lot of us!" Fuchsia said, scratching irritably.

Steerpike glanced at Fuchsia incredulously.

"Take it off then!" Grunted Bellgrove, who until then had lost his voice due to an alarming amount of tequila.

Steerpike took off his shirt (with no undershirt, mind you) and let everyone drool over his delicious, perfect, indescribably . . . ::ahem:: torso to a crowd of cheers.

"I knew I would see it again!" Screamed Irma.

Fuchsia smiled warmly at Steerpike and they shared a meaningful moment.

"SO!" Boomed Gertrude, "Let's go fer another round!"



TO BE CONTINUED!!!!!!!!!! PLEASE REVIEW!!!!!!!! I LIVE FOR REVIEWS!!!!!!!