Disclaimer: I don't own Supernatural.
This is a rewrite of French Fries with a little bit of a filler about Dean and Castiel's version of this. There's a pairing in this one.
It was obvious Sam was zoning out. It was obvious because Sam didn't even mention anything about Dean should be eating healthier- not that Dean cared, it was just slightly offsetting. Sam had been pestering about his diet for years.
"Sorry?" Sam asked the waitress. Dean smirked. He knew his little brother had zoned out.
"You want fries with that?" she asked, obviously annoyed.
"No!" he said, a little too vehemently. Dean raised an eyebrow. What was that all about? She just wanted to know if he wanted French fries. "Er, I mean, sorry, not. Onion rings?" He flashed a charming smile, winning her over again. She retreated behind the counter with a giggle and a blush on her face. "What?" He asked when he saw Dean was giving him a weird look.
"What was that?" Dean asked. "Your time of the month finally come?"
"Shut up, Dean," Sam snapped. "I just don't want French fries."
"Uh huh, whatever, prima donna," Dean said.
"Jerk," Sam snapped.
"Bitch," Dean said instinctively.
Dean had the feeling Sam was glaring at him, probably with one of his signature bitch faces- maybe eight or four- but he was paying more attention to the newspaper then to him. It wasn't his fault his brother acted like a prima donna. He had tried his best.
"Sam, you want fries?" Dean shouted over his shoulder a few days later, the incident about the French fries completely forgotten.
"No!" Sam snapped.
"Alright, fine, don't gotta bite my head off," Dean said. "What'd the fries ever do to you?" Sam continued to glare at him. "What? Just cause you won't eat French fries, doesn't mean I can't," Dean said. "They're God's fingers, you know."
"Where on Earth did you hear that?" Sam groaned.
"Everyone knows it, Sammy. Get with the times," Dean said.
"Just don't tell Cas," Sam said. Dean snorted but then got that thoughtful look on his face and Sam resisted another groan.
"God isn't on any flatbread," That had made Dean's day (even if he hadn't admitted it) at the time. What would the angel say about the French fries?
And after freaking out because he found a few French fries in his bag because some of Dean's had fallen out, it eventually got to the point where Dean wouldn't even ask Sam if he wanted fries anymore. Dean would just throw the bag towards Sam and Sam would open it to find whatever he had ordered with either a side of onion rings, macaroni salad, or no side order. The important thing was, that there were no fries. Sam couldn't even find any fries in the bag. Dean would always find them and clear them out because Sam was supposed to get whatever he wanted... even if it was something as trivial as having no French fries.
"Hey, Cas," Dean said without looking when he heard the flourish of wings, announcing Castiel's presence.
"Hello, Dean," Dean didn't jump when Castiel appeared next to him. He was used to it by now.
"Cas, personal space," he said without looking at the angel.
"You aren't-"
"Cas. Personal space," Dean said, looking back at the angel.
"My apologies," Castiel said, taking a step backwards. It shouldn't have occurred to Dean, it probably never would have if Sam hadn't said anything- okay, well that's not true. It would have occurred to him at some part, just not this soon. It probably wouldn't have occurred to him if Castiel appeared more than four inches away from him but the angel never did so…
"Cas, French fries are the fingers of God," Dean said. Castiel blinked.
"No, French fries aren't the fingers of God, Dean," Castiel frowned.
"Course they are Cas," Dean grinned. Castiel lifted an eyebrow, giving Dean a disapproving look.
"I normally would advise against looking in the Bible considering you humans get more wrong than you do right," Castiel sighed in exasperation. "But in your case, not much can lead you astray. Dean, what's really wrong?"
"Nothing,"
"Dean,"
"Sam has this weird thing going on with French fries- he avoids them like the plague," Dean said.
"You are upset because Sam won't eat French fries?" Castiel asked.
"It's not just the French fries! He gets all snappy and he freaks out if there's even one French fry left in the bag!" Dean said. "Even you can't tell me that that's normal." Castiel didn't bother looking offended. "I think French fries remind him of Ruby. Every time the demon spawn came around, she'd steal a French fry." Castiel sighed.
"If it makes you feel better, I will check on him," Castiel said.
"You'd do that?" Dean asked.
"Yes, Dean," Castiel said. "On one condition." Dean threw his hands up in exasperation, walking to the other side of the room, his back towards Castiel.
"Always a freaking condition, isn't there?" Dean demanded. "Alright, what is it this time?" Castiel crossed the room with powerful steps, standing mere inches away from Dean.
"Kiss me, Dean," Castiel said. Dean's mouth dropped and he just stared at the angel. Before he could respond, the angel disappeared.
"Hello, Sam," Castiel said, sitting next to Sam in the diner. Sam jumped, glaring at the angel, looking around to make sure no one had noticed him.
"Cas, you can't just pop in and out in a public place like this. I thought Dean taught you that," Sam frowned.
"No one noticed," Castiel said, not looking around, instead sitting himself across from Sam.
"Dean's not here," Sam said.
"I have already seen your brother," Castiel paused. "He told me French fries were the fingers of God."
"Yeah, uh, don't listen to him," Sam said. "He's just messing with you."
"Ah," Castiel said and Sam would have been fine with Castiel sitting across from him but the angel looked awkward. Seeing the angel feeling awkward was making Sam feel awkward. Castiel was looking at anywhere but Sam and since Castiel had a thing for staring, that was making it even worse.
"Look, I don't do 'small talk,'" he said, doing air quotes and Sam knew that that was something he hadn't picked up from Dean. "But your brother is getting worried about you and so am I, Sam." Sam was surprised at the confession.
"Thanks, Cas, but there's nothing to worry about. Really, I'm fine," Sam said.
"Really? So you're fine with eating French fries?" Castiel asked. "And yes, I realize what I just said."
"You've been spending too much time with Dean," Sam said. Castiel didn't bother answering that with a response.
"I have never tried French fries before,"
"What?" Sam blinked.
"Out of all the foods Dean has had me try, I have never tried French fries," Castiel said, getting up to leave.
"If you want French fries, Cas, I can buy you some," Sam said.
"I do not require sustenance," Castiel said and then he added as an afterthought. "Thank you for the offer." He continued his walk to exit the diner.
"Cas, I tried to stop him from giving you the Devil's food cake," Sam said.
"I believe you, Sam… but if you are so intent on getting away from the French fries, why are you so close to them? Is it a human thing?" Castiel frowned.
"Uh, no, Cas. I was just-" Sam said and Castiel disappeared, "leaving…"
"It is done," Castiel said, reappearing in front of Dean. Dean jumped.
"Haven't you ever heard of knocking?" Dean demanded.
"Of course I have," Castiel said. "Sam is eating French fries as we speak."
"Cas- wait. Don't go yet," Dean said. Castiel tilted his head as Dean wrestled with himself before closing the distance between them. He grabbed the back of Castiel's neck and kissed him hard on the mouth. "You- thanks. You know, for-"
"Dean," Castiel said. "Stop talking." He wound one arm around Castiel's waist and the other on the mark on Dean's shoulder, pulling him into another kiss.
"Hey, Dean, I need you to call Cas," Sam said, entering the room without looking around. When he turned around, the last thing he expected was to find the angel on Dean's lap.
"Dude, tie on the door!" Dean said.
"What?" Sam opened the door and sure enough, there was a tie on the door. "Oh… sorry. Uh, Cas, got you French fries. I gotta go… do anything else. Bye." He slammed the door behind him.
"I'll be damned. French fries are the fingers of God," Sam said.
