So here they were, walking on a beaten dirt path to some port that would take them New Zealand, in the middle of May, and laughing at the wombat who was trying to eat a piece of grass that was about the size as its face.
"Wait I think he's going to try another angle." Ann snorted. "Hey what d'ya think about sneaking one of these home, and keeping it as a pet?"
"I think that mom and dad would kill us, and have to bust us out of the airport because living creatures that didn't come with us aren't allowed back." Jane smiled.
"Well, say we beat the odds, would you be down?"
"Ann Marie! Of course not, those things probably have fleas."
"Mary Jane!" Ann rolled her eyes. "Ok, don't be adventurous." Ann laughed "See where that gets you."
"With a stable life." Jane teased. " Anyway, I think it's about time for us to hurry up."
Ann checked her watch. "Nah we have an hour to walk five kilometers."
Jane nodded. "Can you get me an apple from your pack?"
"Here" Ann swung her backpack so it was balanced on one arm, and dug an apple and silver digital camera out of her bag "is your camera."
"That went missing last month." Jane gave Ann a pointed stare.
Ann shrugged. "I found it in my bag with some very convenient sd cards and extra batteries.
Jane just smiled and shook her head.
The trip to New Zealand from Australia is mild one, two days long, and with no promise of good weather, even with the best of luck, the Dunmall twins apparently had none. On the first day it was windy with a bleak sun shining through a sky made of mostly clouds. On the second day, it was rainy, windy, cold, and the storm was getting very violent as the twins were riding the waves to a pier near turoa, where they would hike to the "lonely mountain".
That meant getting there first. Without falling off the boat, and drowning.
"We are definitely going to drown!" Ann yelled to be heard over the wind.
"You know how to swim!" Jane reminded her. "You'll be fine!"
"Not when I have my pack and have a ton of clothes on! They'll weigh me down and I'll sink!"
Jane threw herself back and groaned.
They fell into a moody silence, as they continually pulled up their hoods and wiped water of their eyes.
Their guide stumbled toward them. "Uh, mates, sorry to say but we've run out of gasoline."
Ann raised her eyebrows, which was barely noticeable in the gale, and shouted "We are so drowning!"
Jane shook her head and stood up. "I am sorry for her dramatics, but is there anything that we can do?"
Ann stood up and rolled her shoulders. "Might as well get fully soaked."
Jane sent Ann a look.
'Get a hold on yourself.' It read
Ann stuck her tongue out at Jane.
'I just choose to give myself an extraordinarily long leash.' Ann smirked, and Jane just rolled her eyes.
They followed the guide to the pilots little roofed room, where they were then put to work reading and logging the stats given to them by the many dials on the dash.
It was mildly comfortable, and the storm was looking less and less violent as an hour passed.
"We are traveling along the coast, for now, to escape most of the storm." The guide explained nervously. "We might hit a violent patch, but if we keep our speed then we'll get through it quickly." At this both Ann and Jane looked out the window, where the rain had dwindled to a soft pitter patter.
Jane nodded. "I'll get our stuff then."
She was already out the door when the guide looked up with a look of panic on his face. "No, mate, we are hitting the violent-"
Thunder boomed, and the sky went dark.
"Shit." Ann looked up. "Gimme a minute. Just a sec, we'll be back."
Ann only had to turn the knob for the door to be blown open. She pulled her jacket tighter around her, and stumbled to a lump on the deck, that was clutching two huge backpacking packs.
Ann tripped and sprawled out next to Jane, as the boat veered sharply to one side, and they slid a few feet.
Jane pushed Ann her bag, and they each stood up and shouldered them. The deck tilted again, and Jane fell into Ann, who caught her instinctively and gave her a push toward the captain's room.
They both made their way over, step by painstaking step. When they were almost there, the captain flung the door open and reached out as to grab them- he never got the chance.
The deck tilted to the left, and they both slipped, and fell right into the rail. Ann grabbed Jane's hand, and the rail with the other. The rail was wet, and had no grip. Ann tried to pull Jane back up
Jane clutched Ann's arm and their eyes met with a distinct clarity. Then Ann's hand slipped, and that was that.
The water was cold. That was all Ann could think about, that and the fact that she had lost hold of Jane's arm as soon as they had hit the water, terror seeped into her when she thought of Jane dying, of them dying. Her pack was still around her shoulders, it was weighing her down. She struggled to swim up a little, but in the end it was too much. Ann tried to get her pack off, the straps were around her shoulders. The world blurred, and Ann gave up. What would happen? Would they go anywhere, Ann didn't think they were good enough for heaven, but they were close enough, right? Ann coughed, and bubbles were ripped out of her mouth. Jane was always the strong swimmer. Ann clutched her nose, and brought her knees up, her lungs felt like they were going to fall in on themselves. Ann's ears started to get uncomfortably high pressured. Ann tried to pop them back, but they just wouldn't work. The world blurred, and Ann felt her eyes closing, she knew she should stay awake, or else that would be the quite literal end of her, but she was just so tired.
Her lungs hurt, and Jane was clutching onto a bit of Ann's sleeve that had ripped off when they hit the water. She tried to get her pack off, but it was like it didn't want to, the shoulder strap kept on catching at her arm. The world blurred and Jane looked around, black spots danced across her vision, and everything sort of blurred together again. It must be one of the side effects of drowning, Jane thought to herself. But all of a sudden the water looked a little lighter, and Jane was sitting on the sandy lake bed, with watery sunlight filtering down onto her.
Immediately Jane shoved off of the lake bed and propelled herself up toward the surface. She reached it surprisingly fast, and hoisted herself onto the river bank. After coughing and gulping down air, Jane shrugged her pack and looked around for Ann, she was about to dive into the water when two heads emerged, one who wasn't coughing and didn't a huge pack. The other was Ann, in all her half drowned glory, which is to say, none.
Jane jumped into the river and grabbed Ann's pack from the bottom, then swam to the two heads and grabbed Ann, hauling her off to the bank, the stranger, who Jane could now identify as a man, followed after them.
"Is this yours?" Jane looked up from a coughing Ann, to a brown haired man, with long braided hair holding her pack.
"It just happens to be." Jane held out a hand, and her pack was given to her.
"Thanks a ton." Jane looked at the person who had jumped in. "She's my sister."
"Fili, at your service." Jane masked her surprise, she knew a Fili, however he was a fictional character, who lived in a fictional world. The guy, who probably had light colored hair (but Jane couldn't really tell, as it was wet) also wore it long and braided, or dwarf style.
"Jane, at yours and your families." Jane smiled and decided to just play along.
"I'm Ann, if any of you were wondering." Ann stood up, and tried to dust off her pants, and failed.
"Kili."
"Alright then, where are you headed to?" Ann said joyfully picking up her pack. "And more importantly, can we come with you because I'm afraid we've gotten lost on the path of life."
Jane snorted into her sleeve.
Fili and Kili looked at each other, then Kili nodded. "We are headed to a family, um, meeting, and of course, we'll see to it that you have proper lodgings before separating ways."
Fili gave Ann a look. "What do you mean, you 'got lost on the path of life'? that doesn't make any sense."
"It's a figure of speech." Jane covered. "Much like out of the frying pan, and into the fire."
Ann gave Jane a look, 'Really'?
Jane just smiled, and started rooting around on the ground, looking for the things that had fallen out of her pack. "Here, you two go on ahead, don't want you to be late." Jane motioned for the two men to go.
"I insist on staying with you, Ann and Fili will go and get the weapons sharpened." Kili crossed his arms.
"Alright." Jane nodded slowly.
"Then you two will renew supplies, since we'll have to wait for my weapons."
So off Fili and Ann went.
It was a while before anyone was really dry enough to be comfortable.
"Your garb is interesting, and not traditional I think." Fili commented at last, breaking the silence.
"What of it?" Ann tilted her head. "What I wear is solely my business."
"True, but you are coming to the meeting with us, and my uncle, is very disapproving, of strangers."
"You're saying it would help if I looked normal." Ann nodded "Or I could just look like this, and wing it."
Fili gave her a look. "What do you mean wing it? You, you can't fly."
"As far as you know, and it's slang, from my home." Ann looked down. "Plus I think I look good."
Fili sighed and shook his head. "You are a very headstrong person, Ann."
Ann laughed. "Yeah, it's one of my more charming traits."
"So where did you come from?" Fili looked sideways at her and shifted his pack.
"Wrong question, it's where am I going?" Ann smiled.
"Why would you say that?" Fili looked at her again.
"It goes like this. You are walking down a road, and there's mist in front of you, so you can't see exactly where you're going, but you look behind you, and you see every place you've ever been. If you keep looking behind you, you'll never go where you want to go, you'll veer off to the side and off the road or something."
"What about on your left and right?" Fili grinned. "What if a wild olliphant attacks you."
"Well then a huge eagle will come and carry it to it's nest, where it-"
"Will die because an archer shot it."
"The archer would be an elf then."
"That's horse shit." Fili crossed his arms.
"Come up with an alternative." Ann smiled.
"The eagle and olliphant land on the elf."
"Who's brother is the goblin azog."
"Then a dwarf come and saves the fair lady." Fili smiled.
"But the lady was already dead of hunger, because the dwarf took so long."
"So the dwarf brought her back to life."
"Fair enough." Anna nodded
"The dwarf gave her gifts of gold and flowers and chocolates-"
"But the lady rejected his offers and challenged him to a duel."
"What?" Fili raised his eyebrows.
"The lady told him, that he must be a better swordsman than her in order to marry, so she knew she would be well protected." Ann grinned.
"Because the maiden was a princess, who incited the ire of the goblins and orcs."
"Yeah because it's really hard to incite the wrath of an orc." Ann nodded. "No, she angered a dragon."
"She killed the dragons brother."
"His brother was a jerk." Ann grinned.
"That is true, but alas they were close brothers."
"While they were dueling the dragon snuck up behind the girl, and was about to blow dragon fire onto the maiden-"
"When the man ran away screaming."
"To draw the dragon away."
"Alright, the dragon followed him."
"Which gave the maiden a chance to strike him down." Fili watched as Ann weighed her next words.
"The dragon snarled and the blade sunk deep into its chest, straight through its heart. The girl ran around to the front of the dragon, so he could see who killed him. But as the last breath of the dragon passed through its mouth, he imbued it with fire so hot, that the very air caught fire."
Fili's mouth was hanging open. "Well, then, the girl is dead, but what about the man?"
"The man lived on, and never loved another, for the hold the dead maiden had on his heart was too strong, the wildflowers in the meadow, reminded him of her hair, swaying in the breeze, the market reminded him of her, so full of life, and brimming with happiness."
"Isn't there supposed to be a happy ending?" Fili shook his head.
"Life isn't always sunshine and daisies." Ann shrugged. "Though I have been told that I'm awfully morbid."
It just didn't make any sense, why would the stuff begone, Jane and Kili had checked along the bank, nothing had fallen out. So the million dollar question was, where had it gone?
"Are these items really important? Because we are going to miss Fili and Ann." Kilil reasoned, breaking Jane out of her reverie.
"Well, no not expressly but-"
"Then we'll go, Fili and I barely got ourselves in on this adventure, and it would not do to get ourselves unincluded." Kili nodded and started walking.
Jane looked longingly at the river, then sighed and followed Kili. "So what's this about an adventure?"
"Nothing it's a family meeting, nothing more." Kili looked at her sharply, almost reprimandingly.
"You called it an adventure, and I'm not going on until you tell me about it." Jane looked imperiously at him, and sank to the path, laying down like a starfish.
"Get up, or we'll be late, and my uncle's ire will be unleashed upon you." Kili looked up the path, then back at Jane.
"Tell me about your adventure." Jane rolled over onto her stomach.
"I'm leaving now, come on or you'll be left behind." Kili took a few half hearted steps away from Jane then stopped.
"Then Ann's ire will be afflicted unto you, what do you think will happen when you return without her twin? What will Fili think? More importantly, it will seem like you weren't good enough to save me, from whatever idea Ann will cook up."
"What do you mean?" Kili came over and stared down at her.
"Ann has an unbridled imagination, and is as stubborn as a bull. once she thinks of something, you'll be condemned for it." Jane sat up. "And your uncle won't let you go on the adventure."
Kili looked up at the sky and groaned. "Why do I get stuck with the troublesome ones?"
"Troublesome?" Jane laughed. "You should see Ann when she's angry, now that's troublesome."
"Well…" Kili shifted from foot to foot, and opened and closed his mouth a couple of times. He sighed, and put his hand on the pommel of his sword.
Knowing that the matter was won, Jane grinned and sat up.
"I can't leave you here, for honorous purposes." Kili sat down next to her.
"So?" Jane pressed.
"Well, for one, a maiden alone on the road, bad things would hail you."
"What do you mean by that?" Jane's tone was low and guarded.
"Well you would need a man taking care of you for one." Kili smiled.
"Alright then, first of all you're lucky Ann isn't here, she would've slapped you into tomorrow." Jane started "second of all, why do women need to be taken care of by men? Oh that's right! We don't, I can take care of myself thanks."
Kili sat there and blinked. "No, I meant that men have more brute strength than women, so it is up to us, to you know, make sure your safe and all that." Kili scratched the back of his neck. And with that he was hoisted out of his grave.
"Now, your adventure?" Jane stood up, dusting herself off, she started walking, leaving Kili to laugh and point out that they were headed the other way.
"Now where are we meeting Fili?" Jane trudged next to Kili, who looked like he hadn't even started walking, even though they hadn't been walking for over an hour.
"At the forge, he's getting our weapons sharpened." Kili explained.
Jane cringed. "Ann going to the forge was not the greatest idea."
Kili shook his head. "She's old enough to look after herself." He stared at her for a moment. "How old are you two?"
Jane laughed again. "Where we come from it's rude to ask a lady her age."
Kili nodded. "Then I'll wager you are about.." He scanned her once more. "Seventy five.'
"Nope."
"Am I close?"
"Not really."
"Eighty?" Kili guessed.
"Worse."
"Seventy?" Kili sounded scandalized. "You look old."
"Wow. That was great, might as well tell me I look fat and ugly too."
"Why would being fat an insult?" Kili raised his hands.
"To us it's considered unattractive."
"Then how old are you?"
"Not telling." Jane smiled shook her head and they continued, but now that Kili was curious, Jane knew he would keep on springing how old are you doing the weirdest times.
"Ooooh look it's something sharp." Ann skipped into the forge. Ignoring the smith and his wife talking at the counter.
"Could you sharpen these hurriedly please? My brother is due to be here any time, and I wouldn't like to be late." Fili dropped a bundle of knives, daggers, and the like into the poor smith's arms.
"We wouldn't be late if you hadn't refused to stop and get directions." Ann smiled sweetly. "We could've been here an hour ago."
"I knew where we were going." Fili muttered "The map is outdated."
"Tis always the case m'dears." The smiths old wife came away from the counter.
"How're you doing?" Ann asked politely, quite unsure of what to do."
"Splendid but for a companion to share tea with now that my husband's working." She gestured to the back where you could hear metal things being done.
"I can't say no to some tea." Ann grinned and turned Fili. "You can go look at the sharp things."
Fili chuckled and wandered off toward the display of swords and knives.
"What brings you here child?" The woman handed her a chipped tea cup, and led her to a seat. "I can see dark things in your future."
"Oh, you can do that, can you? What else do you see? Have you gotten dreams or-"
"Hush, not is not the time for mindless twittering. What brings you here?" The lady, who looked a little less friendly questioned. "It is rare that one from another place and time should come here, especially one so young."
"What do you mean by another place and time, my sister and I fell off a boat, and we just popped out of nowhere-"
"Ahh, the worst type of travelings." The lady smiled sympathetically at her.
"What is the worst type of traveling?" Ann said slowly, forcing herself not to explode at the crone.
"Through the dark space, the space in which only one holds domain. He rules all and none at all, but everyone will eventually come to him."
The smith came out again carrying Fili's pile of weapons. Fili was handing him coins, and a panic seemed to build inside of Ann.
"What do you mean, who do you mean?" Ann rushed. "And whatever it is why did it pick me?"
The lady took her tea cup from her and led her back to the door.
"Death my dear." The lady frowned at her, and went to the back room.
"What is that all? You're just going to tell me I'm death traveling?" Ann opened her mouth. "No the answer is no, you're not going to." Ann took a step forward, fully prepared to storm in there demanding answers.
"Ann are you two done? Kili and Jane are just outside." Ann turned around and looked at Fili, who was looking at her expectantly.
"Just a moment dear. I was getting a gift for her." The old lady appeared smiling. "You shouldn't rush your wife you know, or she might burn your dinner."
"Aye, they do that many times before you learn to like it." The smith nodded.
Ann raised her eyebrows and a tint appeared on her cheeks, as Fili turned away coughing.
"Here," The lady pressed a necklace and a bracelet each with thirteen vials of different powders and pushed her toward the door "congratulations you two."
With that they were out in the market square, looking at each other with blank but red faces.
"There they are!" Ann heard Jane shout. "I found them first! You owe me two gold."
Kili sighed and handed Jane two coins.
Jane shoved the coins into her pocket. "Why're your faces as red as tomatoes?"
"We were mistaken for a newlywed couple." Fili coughed into his arm.
"Are you sick?" Ann looked at him closely.
Jane grinned and held out her hand. Kili reluctantly parted with another two gold.
"Did you really agree to that bet?" Fili raised his eyebrows at Kili.
"I told him how close and unaware of the awkward Ann could be and he didn't believe me.
"At least I got this cool necklace out of it." Ann grinned and held up the twelve vialed chain.
"Why can't I get stuff like this?" Jane groaned.
"Because I'm lucky and you're clever, that's why you got the gold and I the necklace." Ann shrugged. "But
"We better hurry." Kili said. "We might be late-"
"For supper, and there might not be anything left, because our relatives eat a lot." Fili shot Kili a warning glance.
"Don't worry. Kili already told me." Jane smiled.
"You told her? We haven't even met her for a day and you told her about the quest to return to Erebor?"
"Nice Fili." Ann cut in, seeing how Kili's flapping mouth wasn't going to close itself anytime soon, and Jane's smirk wouldn't come off for a while. "She has probably been trying to get that out of Kili the whole day and just tricked you into telling her."
"That's true brother." Kili frowned. "Now we must take them with us."
"Score." Jane and Ann high fived, and Ann pressed the bracelet into Jane's palm.
"I told you she was the clever one." Ann shrugged. "She just clevers her way into everything."
"I don't think you can clever into something." Fili told Ann imperiously.
"Jane just did."
"Wow what a great walk here you must;'ve had, now we must walk up the hill before Jane clevers herself into everything." Kili said.
Ann promptly fell on the ground and lay there unmoving.
"I think she's asleep." Jane nodded. "Fili give Kili your pack and carry Ann."
"What why do I have to carry his pack?" Kili moaned.
"Would you rather carry her?"
"Fili give me your pack."
Fili tossed his pack to Kili and hoisted Ann onto his back, and arranged her arms around his neck so they wouldn't dangle while he was walking.
"How much've you two had to eat lately?" Fili asked Jane softly. "She weighs barely anything."
Jane looked at Fili for a long time before replying. "Ann is one of the most healthiest people you will have the pleasure to meet, unfortunately she is very slim." Jane smiled. "But you'll see when we reach the place where we are going to eat supper, she'll eat twice as much as you or I."
"That's quite a claim, being able to eat twice as much as a dwarf." Fili grinned, his jesting mood returning. "Let's hope she will be awake enough to do it."
"Oh I'm awake, I just didn't walk to walk up this dreadfully long and tall hill." Ann rested her chin on Fili's shoulder. "And if I'm so light, you shouldn't have a problem carrying me."
Kili laughed from a few doors up. "I think I found it Jane, right where you said, Bag End, Shire, Top of the Hill!"
"Why did you not trust me, doubtful one?" Jane laughed.
Fili met Kili's eyes and both of them silently voiced their suspicion, why had Jane known about the place they were going, when they had voiced no directions? She knew something.
And with that, they were at the door.
