MattxOC [my OC, Carys]
T-Shirt
based on the song of the same name by Shontelle.
Try'na decide, try'na decide
If I really wanna go out tonight,
I never used to go out without ya,
Not sure I remember how ta,
Gonna be late, gonna be late,
But, all my girls gonna have to wait,
'cause I don't know if I like my outfit,
I tried everything in my closet.
Today was officially the worst day of my life. It started off good; I woke up cuddled into Matt, but now...
I'm never going to wake up beside him again, ever.
I saw my husband die on television. I saw him get out of the car, raise his hands in surrender, and I saw him get shot. I saw him fall, I saw him bleed, and all I could do was stare.
I went down to where he died, in downtown Tokyo. It didn't actually hit me until then what'd happened.
I'm not where we were staying now. I'm in a hotel, courtesy of my old friend and rival, Near, and my best friend, Angel. They'd moved all my, and Matt's stuff into this room, and now, here I am, sitting cross legged on the bed, staring at the wall.
Eventually, I moved my gaze down to one of the bags, where something red and striped caught my eye. I finally got up and pulled at the garment, tugging one of Matt's shirts out.
Bringing it to my face, I could smell him. Aftershave and cigarette smoke.
Nothin' feels right when I'm not with you,
Sick of this dress and these Jimmy Choos,
Takin' them off 'cause I feel a fool,
Try'na dress up when I'm missin' you,
I'ma step out of this lingerie,
Curl up in a ball with something Hanes,
In bed I lay,
With nothing but your T-shirt on,
With nothing but your T-shirt on.
I bit my lip, looking down at the shirt in my hands, then laid it down on the bed, kicking my boots off and tugging my vest over my head.
My hair fell in my eyes, before I reached down and undid the button on my jeans, pulling the fly down and stepping out of them. Next to come off were my socks, then my bra, and finally, my panties. I sighed to myself as I pulled the striped shirt over my head, before smoothing it down over my body.
God, it really did smell like him, and the scent alone made me want to cry myself to sleep. I looked out of the window, over Tokyo, but it simply didn't feel right.
Nothing feels right without him there; playing some game and smoking, mumbling about something or other.
Shaking my head, I looked back down at the bag, and saw something orange glinting at the bottom, and I leant forward, reaching out and swiping whatever it was, bringing them up.
I froze.
In my hand, was a pair of bloostained, cracked goggles.I dropped them, and they landed on the bed with a light thud, as I clapped my hand over my mouth, the tears finally spilling over my eyes.
Gotta be strong, gotta be strong ,
but I'm really hurtin' now that you're gone,
I thought maybe I'd do some shopping,
But I couldn't get past the door,
And now I don't know, now I don't know,
If I'm ever really gonna let you go,
And I couldn't even leave my apartment,
I'm stripped down, torn up about it.
I was past trying to be strong now. I didn't want to believe it, put the horrible, sickening, heartbreaking realization finally hit me.
He really was gone.
And that's what set me off. The sobs racked through my body, and I could feel myself shaking every time I tried to take a breath. I assumed I probably woke Angel up, and Near...
Well, Near didn't ever sleep.
I picked up the goggles once more, and held them to my chest, still sobbing. I wondered to myself who'd left them, and why they'd left them.
A thousand questions were running through my now aching head; like why had they taken Matt? Why couldn't it be someone on the street? Why was he stupid enough to go through with this?
My sobs calmed down, but I was still crying. I sighed, not letting go of the goggles or shirt, and I crawled under the covers.
Nothin' feels right when I'm not with you,
Sick of this dress and these Jimmy Choos,
Takin' them off 'cause I feel a fool,
Try'na dress up when I'm missin' you,
I'ma step out of this lingerie,
Curl up in a ball with something Hanes,
In bed I lay,
With nothing but your T-shirt on,
With nothing but your T-shirt on.
An hour later, Angel knocked at my door. I looked up, my eyes sore from crying and wiped my face.
"Come in." I said hoarsely, and Angel walked in, looking upset and holding a package.
I sat up and looked at it, as Angel laid it down on the bed.
"You might want me to stay when you open this..."
I nodded, allowing her to stay as I opened the package, and I stared down at the contents.
One bullet-hole ridden, blood-soaked tan fuzzy vest, complete with cigarettes, a lighter and a destroyed Nintendo DS.
"I need to be alone." I whispered. Angel nodded and left.
"I'm just next door, Chica."
Finally alone, I laid the package on the floor, and laid back, closing my eyes and letting the tears fall. This was all too much at once.
I couldn't handle it, and any sort of strength I had was gone.
All I could do was cry, and that's all I did, all night. I cried for him, praying he'd come back.
That's when I learned that prayers are never answered.
Matt was never coming back. So what did I do?
I cried myself to sleep, with nothing but his shirt on.
