I spent most of today writing this and I'm very proud of it. =] lol I hope you enjoy it.
Rachel and Blaine both attended NYU. Blaine was a junior and Rachel was a sophomore and during Blaine's relationship with Kurt they had gotten close and now she would honestly consider him her best friend. They were even planning on sharing an apartment once they graduated. They currently were attending a party and both were well on their way to drunk.
Unfortunately they were being approached by Layla Edwards, a girl on Rachel's course who neither of them liked. The worst part was that she didn't know it or she did and just didn't care.
"I think I'm in love." She sighed pushing in between them.
"Really?" Blaine said and shared a look with Rachel who had to stifle her giggles.
"Yeah, he goes to UCLA and he and some friends were here to see a few shows. I got chatting and invited them here. There he is." She spoke excitedly and pointed to the doorway where a group had just walked in.
Rachel's jaw dropped.
"He's mine." Layla shot Rachel a dirty look and got up and left them.
"Is that?" Blaine trailed off.
"Jesse-freaking-St. James." She enunciated.
"Awkward." He commented, garnering a look from Rachel. Blaine also saw that Rachel had caught the eye of one of the other boys with Jesse and he and a few of the others were making their way over.
"Hey, do you know where we could get a drink?" The guys asked and Rachel looked at him like he was an idiot.
"Right behind you." She pointed to a table where drinks were laid out without taking her eyes off Jesse and Layla.
"Thanks, I'm Tom." He introduced himself.
"Rachel." She muttered.
"And I'm Blaine." Blaine interjected, trying to save the poor guy. Tom and his friends went to get a drink before coming back to the sofa where Rachel and Blaine were sitting. Jesse and Layla moved out of her eye line so she refocused on the conversation. She didn't particularly like Tom but she got chatting with one of his friends, James. They were both doing theatre studies and music.
"I kind of treated UCLA as a practice audition."
"Ouch." He joked.
"Well, there were a few reasons I didn't want to go there."
"Yeah, I mean why would you want to go to a school with an excellent programme, in the sun and next door to Hollywood?"
"Because I go there." Rachel jumped at the sound of Jesse's voice behind her but pretended not to hear him.
"Well, I didn't want to delay coming to New York any longer than I had to. It's my spiritual home."
"Rachel." Jesse lilted.
"I've always wanted to come here." She carried on while James looked between her and Jesse unsurely.
"Rachel." Jesse tried again, rolling his eyes.
"Jesse! There you are." Layla squealed as she stumbled over. James noticed Rachel's face darken and Jesse cringe. "Come dance."
"I can't sorry, Rachel just promised me a dance." He told Layla who instantly sent Rachel a dirty look.
"No I didn't. You two go." Rachel encouraged, smiling sardonically at Jesse who narrowed his eyes at here.
"Wow. What did he do?" James asked.
"Stomp on my heart." She spoke dramatically.
"Ah, of course."
"I'd rather not talk about it." She said.
"Sure. Looks like you're getting your punishment though, that girl's a leech."
Rachel followed his line of sight to where Jesse was trying to extract himself from Layla's grasp.
"She is. I hate her."
James raised an eyebrow.
"I hated her before she started draping herself all over Jesse St. James." She informed him.
"Probably not as much though."
She gave him a dirty look and stood up to go and get a drink. When she returned Jesse was now occupying the seat she had just emptied. She sighed and went to find Blaine who had gone away earlier. She walked around but couldn't find him, she stopped to talk to a few people but found herself back at the sofa where she could now see Blaine was talking to Jesse.
Rachel felt a bit of anger building, she knew she was drunk but she stormed over anyway and stood in front of them and waited for them to notice her.
"Rach, we were just talking about you." Jesse smirked.
"All nice things, of course." Blaine continued.
She continued to glare at them when Jesse stood up, grabbing her hand he dragged her onto the dance floor.
"I've got a feeling dancing with you will get that girl to stay away." He said, resting his hands on her hips.
"So you're using me?" She asked bitterly.
"No, I'm using that girl as an excuse to dance with you. I've missed you." He leant closer to her and whispered in her ear.
"Shut it, Jesse." She pulled away slightly, but not completely.
"There hasn't been anyone else like you." He spoke softly. "No one so like me that I feel comfortable from the first Hello." He pulled her back in again and felt her begin to move to the music.
"This isn't going to work." She told him.
"I'm not trying anything." He looked at her innocently.
"Yes you are." She muttered.
"And it's working." He smirked at her. "But I'm serious, I miss you."
"How can you miss me? We only knew each other for a couple of months in what feels like a lifetime ago."
"But you're still angry?" He checked.
"You don't just forget when someone eggs you."
"You did with Finn." He retorted, remembering she had told him that during their brief relationship.
"He didn't know me then. He wasn't my ex."
"What happened with us Rachel, was complicated and dramatic, like us. What happened with Finn was simple and stupid. Like him." He joked and Rachel laughed while rolling her eyes.
"I expected you to be different." She told him.
"I am."
"No you're not. You're just as I remember."
"Jesse is the same, Jesse St. James is different." He told her.
Rachel didn't know what to say to that and luckily for her the music changed into something faster and they stopped talking and just danced. Jesse wrapped his arms around her waist pulling her even closer, she gave up trying to fight it and put her arms around his neck. She had to look down after a while when his gaze became too intense and she found herself getting lost in his eyes. She ran on of her hands through his hair while the other traced the muscles on his chest and arms.
He manoeuvred her so that she was now standing with her back to him. They moved to the heavy beat, his hands roaming over her stomach while her hands were up behind her around his neck. She felt him pressed against her back and bit back a moan before pressing herself back against him. He let out a breath and dipped his head down to her exposed shoulder. He kissed his way along until he reached her neck where he proceeded to suck.
"That's going to leave a mark." She giggled and felt him nod against her. She felt his lips leave her neck and move up to her cheek; he turned her around and claimed her lips. It was fierce and passionate and almost as if they were fighting each other with their lips. They grabbed at each other and pulled. Rachel moaned into his mouth and that undid him. He pulled her with him out the door and into the hallway.
Blaine and James who had seen the whole thing shared a look and then Blain looked to Layla who looked as if she was about to explode.
Back out in the hallway Jesse had Rachel pressed between him and the wall just around the corner from the party. It was dark but Rachel wouldn't have been able to see clearly anyway.
"Let's do it." She smirked.
"Have you-"
"What do you think?" She used his words and he reattached his lips to her neck, lifting her off the floor to wrap her legs around his waist.
A while later when they had both fixed their clothes and headed back into the party. Jesse stayed wrapped around her with his hands possessively on her waist. They took a seat on the empty sofa, Rachel in Jesse's lap facing him.
"I've never had sex in a public place before." She spoke shyly and Jesse smiled. This was the Rachel he knew. He laughed softly before kissing her again. They made out for a few minutes before she pulled away again.
"When do you go back to LA?" She asked.
"Sunday evening." He told her.
"So you have two more days."
"Yes."
"You don't have to but-"
"I want to spend all my time with you." He smiled and kissed her.
"Good but I think that we should just enjoy this weekend."
"What do you mean?"
"I mean I don't have time for a relationship, let alone a long distance one that would inevitably be as dramatic as ours. I think we should just enjoy this weekend."
"How about we don't limit it to this weekend?" He suggested. "How about we agree to enjoy each other's company if either of us is ever in LA or New York?"
"We won't be specifically visiting each other but…" Rachel finished smiling. "I like that."
"It's kind of like long distance friends with benefits." He joked kissing her.
"I don't like it when you put it like that." She frowned pulling away.
"Okay, I won't put it like that then." He smirked.
Jesse and Rachel went on to enjoy the weekend like they had agreed. They went to a few shows, she hung out with his friends and he hung out with hers. She asked Blaine not to mention it to anyone from home because could already guess their reaction. Layla had thrown a bitch fit when she had seen Jesse and Rachel kissing in Times Square. Rachel hadn't gone to the airport to say goodbye, they figured that would be overstepping the boundaries they had set out. Instead they spent a long time saying goodbye in her dorm room that afternoon.
On the plane Jesse sat between James and their friend Michelle. Michelle had always had a thing for Jesse and they had hooked up a few times but Jesse only saw it as fun, whereas Michelle always wanted more.
"So you're seriously sticking with not being in a relationship with Rachel?" James asked him about an hour into the flight.
"She doesn't have time for a boyfriend. We're just friends who have a good time together." He justified.
"Well you seemed like a couple this weekend."
"And we probably will if she comes to LA but we're just not making any plans to see each other."
"This is going to end in tears and they're as likely to be yours as hers." He said and Jesse scoffed.
A little while later James spoke up again.
"Do you think she's saying it's not a relationship because she doesn't want to get hurt again?"
"No, she's busy, she doesn't have time to be worrying about me in LA and I'm a senior now I have a lot on my plate."
"Dude, girls never say what they mean."
For the rest of the flight Jesse was consumed by his thoughts trying to figure out if James was right and what would be the most believable excuse to call Rachel as soon as he lands.
A couple of weeks later Rachel was out for dinner with Blaine and Kurt who had visited. Blaine and Kurt were considering getting back together but were trying to keep things casual for a while and not jump into anything.
"We could be long distance friends with benefits?" Blaine goaded Rachel.
"That's a stupid idea." Kurt said not realising that Blaine was looking at Rachel.
"I know only an idiot would suggest it."
"You just did." Kurt spoke confused, now looking between Rachel and Blaine.
"Rachel!" Kurt exclaimed. "Who?" He demanded.
Rachel glared stonily at Blaine before muttering under her breath.
"I didn't get that Rachel."
"Jesse." She whispered.
"I'm sorry, that sounded like you just said Jesse."
Rachel looked at him guiltily.
"Are you insane?" Kurt asked her.
"It's nothing, he was in New York a couple of weeks ago and we hit it off again and we decided that if he's ever in New York again or I go to LA for any reason then we can see each other. It's not like I took him back."
"But you slept with him." Kurt said. "And you want to again." He observed.
"Of course she does, have you seen him?" Blaine interjected and received a dirty look from both of them at the table.
"Don't come crying to me when he turns out to be an ass again." He told her.
Rachel rolled her eyes and changed the topic.
As November rolled around a few friends of Rachel and Blaine's were organising a weekend trip to LA and asked if they wanted to go. They both said yes and Rachel tried to convince herself that Jesse wasn't the reason she had said yes. Unfortunately, Layla was also going. She had caught wind of the trip and had somehow invited herself along.
Rachel had spoken to James and found out that he and Jesse and some of their other friends were planning to go to an open mic night and she had suggested it to everyone and they all agreed it sounded fun.
Once they landed and took their stuff to the hotel they changed and headed out to the club that James had told Rachel about. The first person to see them walk in was Michelle so she instantly placed herself as close to Jesse as possible. He moved to get more comfortable and ended up with his arm resting behind her on the back of her seat but she wouldn't move any closer, he would just push her away.
Rachel and her friends sat in a booth in a corner near the stage, she wanted to go over to Jesse but decided to hold back and let him see her. Blaine came in and sat next to her and told her he had put her name down to sing, now all she had to do was pick a song.
After a few drinks it was Rachel's turn so she headed up to the stage, she didn't look at Jesse but she could picture his reaction.
She had jokingly picked Carly Simon's You're so Vain.
You walked into the party
Like you were walking onto a yacht
Your hat strategically dipped below one eye
Your scarf it was apricot
You had one eye in the mirror
As you watched yourself gavotte
And all the girls dreamed that they'd be your partner
They'd be your partner, and
Rachel didn't look at Jesse while she sang and she could tell that the crowd was really getting into it. When it got to the chorus she turned to Jesse and sang to him. He rolled his eyes playfully.
You're so vain
You probably think this song is about you
You're so vain
I'll bet you think this song is about you
Don't you? Don't you?
She didn't want to upset him and ruin their weekend by making it all serious so for the next verse she got off the stage and made her way over to him and sat in his lap as she sang the second verse.
You had me several years ago
When I was still quite naive
Well, you said that we made such a pretty pair
And that you would never leave
But you gave away the things you loved
And one of them was me
I had some dreams they were clouds in my coffee
Clouds in my coffee, and
You're so vain
You probably think this song is about you
You're so vain
I'll bet you think this song is about you
Don't you? Don't you?
She smiled up at him as she sang and gave him a brief kiss on the cheek before getting up and walking away from him, fully aware that he was staring at her ass as she walked. She danced seductively back up to the stage briefly twirling with Blaine until she was back in centre stage.
I had some dreams they were clouds in my coffee
Clouds in my coffee, and
You're so vain
You probably think this song is about you
You're so vain
I'll bet you think this song is about you
Don't you? Don't you?
She nodded to the band to finish the song there and made her way down back to her seat. A couple of minutes later Jesse made his way over to her with a drink. There was no room for him to sit so Rachel stood to give him her seat and then sat in her lap.
"This is a nice surprise." He murmured.
"I may have called James to see where you would be." She admitted and he smiled. They were both completely oblivious to the looks they were getting from two girls. Layla continually rolled her eyes until someone at the table asked if she had something in her eye. Rachel didn't know why she was so bothered, she'd only met Jesse that once and he wasn't into her anyway.
Michelle now way past drunk was fuming that Jesse had just ditched them to sit with Rachel and when she ran into the small girl in the toilet she couldn't resist.
"Jesse's a good fuck, isn't he?" She said in a false friendly tone and Rachel glared at her.
"Sorry, who are you?" Rachel responded bitchily.
"I'm who your boyfriend does while you're not around."
"He's not boyfriend and how nice for you. I bet you feel real special."
"Jesse's mine, everyone knows it." She slurred.
"Does he? Because he's never mentioned you."
Michelle stormed out and put her name down to perform. Rachel went back to her table but icily sat opposite Jesse in a seat that had just opened up instead of back on his lap. He looked at her quizzically but she just looked at the stage where Michelle was now standing.
She started singing Girlfriend by Avril Lavigne and Jesse cringed while Rachel just rolled her eyes. Michelle didn't take her eyes of Jesse and Rachel throughout the song and everyone who was left could feel the tension. Even Michelle's friends tried to get her off of the stage, she was making a fool of herself. When she was finished she smirked at Rachel who was already on her feet. Jesse tried to hold her back but she shrugged him off and got on stage. She told the guitarist what song she planned to do and he nodded. She didn't particularly like country but she liked this song and Paramore had done a nice version that she had learned from.
You call to tell me something
You say I oughta know
That he don't love me anymore
And I'll have to let him go
You say you're gonna take him
Oh but I don't think you can
Because you ain't woman enough to take my man
Women like you, they're a dime a dozen
You can buy 'em anywhere
For you to get to him I'd have to move over
And I'm gonna stand right here
Well it'll be over my dead body
So get out while you can
'Cause you ain't woman enough to take my man
Sometimes a man's caught lookin' at things that he don't need
He took a second look at you
But he's in love with me
Well I don't know where that leaves you
Oh but I know where I stand
And you ain't woman enough to take my man
Women like you, they're a dime a dozen
You can buy 'em anywhere
For you to get to him I'd have to move over
And I'm gonna stand right here
It'll be over my dead body
So get out while you can
'Cause you ain't woman enough to take my man
Oh you ain't woman enough to take my man
Michelle glared at Rachel bitterly while Jesse smirked appreciatively. Rachel stepped confidently down from the stage and over to where Jesse was sitting. Her friends whooped at her performance and Jesse stood up and pulled her in for a kiss that was possibly too much for a public place but Rachel didn't care.
"Want to get out of here?" He muttered between kisses and she nodded. The grabbed their coats, said goodbye before heading out. They passed where Michelle's friends were trying to get her into a cab and Rachel narrowed her eyes.
"Ugh."
Jesse wrapped his arm around her from the side and laughed.
"What?" She asked.
"You're really hot when you're jealous."
"I am not jealous." She rebuked.
"Yes you are." He teased. "You don't need to be."
"Really? It didn't sound like it to me."
"What did she say?"
"She just told me how good you are in bed and how she's who you do when I'm not around."
"Well I haven't slept with her in over a year. There have been a few drunken kisses but nothing more but what if there was? We're not together."
"I know that but you could you at least pick girls who can handle a casual relationship."
"What like you, you mean?" He asked starting to get angry.
"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"
"Well you're pissed off because of a girl I barely have anything to do with any more."
"I'm pissed off because that girl was a bitch to me, which you don't seem to care about at all Jesse."
"That's not what this is about. You were the one who suggested this Rachel."
"Yeah, when I thought there was some element of friendship involved but as I can see, I'm just a warm body to you. I don't mean anything more than any of the other girls that fall at your feet." She shouted at him. "I can't believe I fell for it again." She shook her head and turned around to head back to her hotel.
"Rachel!" He called after her.
"Goodbye Jesse." She said and carried on walking.
Jesse decided to give Rachel the evening to cool off but when he went to her hotel the next morning he was told by Blaine that she had checked out early this morning and had gone home. Jesse debated calling her but decided to leave it up to her. He was starting to think that as perfect as they are for each other they might just not be meant to be.
Rachel didn't call.
About a year and a half later Jesse finds himself in New York, he'd been an extra in a few things since he'd graduated but he'd decided that what he really wanted to do was Broadway so he packed up and headed to New York. He was currently working as a waiter and bartender as well as doing auditions. He'd had a few call backs but that was all so far. It was hard, a lot harder than he thought it was going to be. One night he's working behind the bar when he sees her walking in with some friends, Blaine included. From what Jesse overheard, they were celebrating graduation. Jesse managed to avoid them completely but was not surprised when Rachel went up to the karaoke machine after a few of her friends.
What Jesse didn't know was that Rachel had seen him as soon as she walked in, in fact Blaine had told her weeks ago that Jesse worked here. She had recently broken up with her boyfriend but she didn't feel nearly as awful as she had when she had realised that Jesse was never going to call. She knew that she could have called to but she was too stubborn and too hurt and then too much time had passed for her to call him again. She selected her song and searched for Jesse. Her certain state of inebriation would help with her courage but she wasn't too drunk that it would affect her voice.
She saw Jesse clearing a few tables at the back of the room and waited for the song to start.
Summer after high school when we first met
We make out in your Mustang to Radio head
And on my 18th birthday we got matching tattoos
Used to steal your parents' liquor and climb to the roof
Talk about our future like we had a clue
Never plan that one day I'd be losing you
She started singing waiting for Jesse to turn around, it didn't take long and she caught his eye.
And in another life I would be your girl
We'd keep all our promises, be us against the world
And in other life I would make you stay
So I don't have to say you were the one that got away
The one that got away
They didn't lose eye contact and Rachel sang as if she was making a promise.
I was dreaming you were my Johnny Cash
Never one, without the other, we made a pact
Sometimes when I miss you, I put those records on, whoa
Someone said you had your tattoo removed
Saw you downtown singing the blues
It's time to face the music, I'm no longer your muse
Jesse wanted to tell her that she was, she was the one that got away just as much as he was.
But in another life I would be your girl
We'd keep all our promises, be us against the world
And in another life, I would make you stay
So I don't have to say you were the one that got away
The one that got away
Jesse was frozen at the back of the room; it was like she was admitting to missing him but telling him that it didn't matter. He was right in front of her, they could try again.
The one, the one, the one
The one that got away
All this money can't buy me a time machine, no
Can't replace you with a million rings, no
I should've told you what you meant to me, whoa
'Cause now I pay the price
Rachel built up her emotion as she went back into the chorus.
In another life I would be your girl
We keep all our promises, be us against the world
And in another life, I would make you stay
So I don't have to say you were the one that got away
The one that got away
The one, the one, the one, the one
And in another life I would make you stay
So I don't have to say you were the one that got away
The one that got away
Rachel stepped down off the stage as everyone around her clapped. She looked up to where Jesse had been but he was gone. Rachel sighed but went back to her friends and enjoyed the night.
Rachel went travelling for a few months before going to back to New York to start auditioning. She and Blaine were sharing an apartment but they were looking for a third roommate and having no luck. Rachel still wasn't sure if it was fate or merely coincidence but Jesse came to view the apartment. He had offered to leave but she refused telling him that he looked as desperate to find somewhere to live as she and Blaine were to rent the room.
"Yeah, my lease is up really soon and I haven't been able to find anywhere." He explained.
Rachel showed him around and he liked it. No mention was made of their past or having seen each other a few months ago in the bar.
"Are you sure that this is okay?" He asked.
"Yes Jesse. Like I said, you'll suit us perfectly and we can be friends."
"Friends?"
"Yeah, you are familiar with the concept I assume." She joked.
It took a while but Jesse and Rachel settled into a roommate/friend style relationship. He soon became very close with both her and Blaine and it made the whole process so much easier. Blaine was working for a bank and Jesse and Rachel were both working menial jobs while they auditioned.
Finally Jesse got a break, he was cast as Gabe in a revival of Next to Normal and he and Rachel ended up celebrating alone in his bed. The next morning they both acted as if nothing had happened. Despite them both wanting to address it, neither wanted to lose each other and their last attempt had not gone well.
Unfortunately as much as Jesse's success initially brought them closer together it did begin to make them fight. Rachel was jealous, she knew she was and she was impatient and watching Jesse achieve his dream was difficult. She knew it wasn't a nice part of her personality but she couldn't help it. One night the precarious glass roof shattered.
"Rachel just admit that you hate that I'm making it."
"That's not even what we're talking about!" She shouted back.
"But it's why we're arguing. You can't stand me being successful."
"That's not true." She defended, not wanting to admit it to him.
"Stop lying!" He cried exasperatedly.
"Do you know how hard it is to keep failing?"
"Yes, I've been here for almost two years. Don't take out your frustrations on me, it's not fair."
"Well just for once I'd like you to struggle with something." She spat, she was getting vicious now.
"Are you seriously going to ruin this for me? You're my friend; you're supposed to support me."
"I don't think I can." She told him.
Jesse reeled back.
"Fine. I'll move out then, I can afford somewhere better than this now anyway." He informed her.
"Fine." Rachel replied before turning her back and going into her bedroom.
Rachel sat in the theatre months later waiting for Jesse to make his debut; she knew he would be amazing. He proved her right; she wouldn't be surprised if he won a Tony for his performance. She got chills listening to him and she could see the whole audience were drawn in by him. Rachel wished she could talk to him after, but she wouldn't ruin his big night.
He'd had rave reviews for his performance and he had loved every minute of it, he just wished that he had someone to share it with. He had been seeing a few people but there was no one special. He had heard that Rachel was starring in something off-Broadway that didn't do so well. He didn't get a chance to see it but his heart went to her.
When he was done with Next to Normal he was asked to take over as Fiyero in Wicked. The director had loved him in Next to Normal and when their original Fiyero had pulled out and he heard that Jesse didn't have anything lined up he suggested it.
Jesse accepted and he made his way into the Gershwin Theatre ready for his first rehearsal. Since he had come in late the rest of the cast had already been rehearsing for quite a while. He had been told by Chris, the director that the lead female, an unknown, was incredible. He knew he was right. In the middle of the stage was Rachel Berry, rehearsing Defying Gravity.
"Jesse. Hi." Chris greeted.
"You were right." Jesse indicated to the stage. "She's amazing."
"We struck gold." He smiled. "Good job Rachel." He spoke up to the stage and then called for everyone to gather round.
"Now losing David has been stressful but I have managed to find a more than adequate replacement. Fresh from his run as Gabe Goodman in Next to Normal, Jesse St. James will be playing Fiyero." David informed the group. "Now let's run through Dancing Through Life. Jesse, show us what you've got."
Jesse had been working with David and the choreographers a lot over the past few weeks at the most awkward times to try and catch up with the rehearsal time that he had missed but luckily he was up to scratch.
Rachel had frozen in shock when David had announced the new male lead. Never had she imagined that Jesse would come in to play opposite her in Wicked. A small part of her was annoyed too, her Broadway debut and Jesse would be the huge star that everyone would be coming to see.
Luckily, they didn't rehearse any scenes together that day so for the most part Rachel was able to avoid him. She did end up staying to watch his scenes even though David had told her she could go home. As she was leaving she bumped into him.
"Hi." He said stoically.
"Hi." She said.
"I didn't know you were playing Elphaba."
"Why would you?" She spoke modestly. They were silent for a while and it spread between them like ice. "You were amazing as Gabe. I couldn't find one flaw." She spoke quickly.
"You saw it?" He asked in genuine surprise.
"Of course I did." She crinkled her eyebrows.
"I didn't think you would want to see it."
"I went to see it seven times. I even managed to get tickets for opening night. I wanted to wait for you at the stage door but I didn't want to ruin your night."
"You wouldn't have ruined my night. I would have been so happy to see you."
"How could you be? I totally rained on your parade."
"I understood Rach, I'd been there." He told her and she nodded.
"I'm sorry." She said.
"Me too, I shouldn't have been such a drama queen. I should've remembered how hard it was."
Rachel smiled and accepted the hug that he offered. She flung her arms around his neck and pulled him closer but something caught his eye. He stepped away slightly and grabbed her hand.
"You're engaged?"
Rachel nodded wordlessly.
"Who's the lucky guy?" Jesse tried to sound casual, and failed spectacularly.
"Um, his name's Connor. He works with Blaine, we've been together for about fourteen months, engaged for three." She told him nervously.
"I'm happy for you." He told her. They both knew it was a lie.
Rachel and Jesse were amazing in Wicked. Connor missed opening night. He'd had to fly to London for business. Jesse had suggested that they celebrate together; it was their first opening night together after all. They went back to his place and opened a bottle of wine. They toasted all the rave reviews they were bound to get, the parts they would be offered, both together and separately. As the night wore on they found themselves closer until Jesse's lips were on hers, all thoughts of her fiancé forgotten. They'd had sex three times before they actually made it to his bedroom. The next morning Rachel gathered her clothes and left his apartment without a word.
She ignored him before the show that night and as much as she could during the rehearsal until it got to As Long As You're Mine and she knew that they had switched from Elphaba and Fiyero and back into Rachel and Jesse.
When Rachel got home that night Jesse was waiting for her on her doorstep.
"How'd you know where I live?" She asked.
"Blaine. Can I come in?" She nodded and let him in after her.
"Rachel."
"Jesse just listen, please. I'm engaged. I love Connor. Last night was a mistake, I was drunk and upset."
"Bullshit." Jesse spat. "Last night happened because we're made for each other."
"If we were made for each other we would have lasted."
"If we hadn't given up we would have lasted."
"No everything happens for a reason. Fate keeps telling us that it won't work."
"No, fate keeps pushing up together; Shelby asking me for help to find you, the party, the bar, the apartment and now this. It's us who are trying to fight fate for stupid reasons that don't even matter."
"You're wrong." Rachel told him.
"No I'm not." He promised her.
They went on to work together and the friction between them made their performance all the more spectacular. One day Jesse found Rachel on the sofa in his dressing room.
"What are you doing here?"
"My Dad had a heart attack." She spoke softly and he could see the tears in her eyes. He rushed over and sat next to her. He pulled her into his arms and let her cry. After a while Rachel looked up at him. He knew what she was going to do and pulled away slightly, but not enough.
"Only you." She whispered. He didn't know what she meant but it was enough to convince him.
As they lay together after, having pulled their underwear back on Jesse turned to look at Rachel.
"What did you mean earlier?"
She looked up at him confused.
"You said only you. What did you mean?"
"Only you would know exactly what I needed, exactly what to do, the only person I could think to turn to when I heard the news." She told him.
Over the following months Rachel and Jesse carried on their affair. Rachel didn't know what to do. She did love Connor and he was good to her but with Jesse she felt complete. She just wasn't sure if they would make it. She didn't know if she could have a real and lasting relationship with him. All his talk of fate, maybe they were just destined to be a source of pain to each other, but she couldn't give him up.
Soon enough they were finished with Wicked and Rachel's wedding day was dawning. For a brief moment while she was alone Jesse slipped in to see her.
"Jesse you can't be here." She told him.
"Don't marry him." He begged.
"Jesse." She sighed sadly.
"Just come with me. Leave him, forget about all of this."
"I can't do that."
Jesse shook his head. "Then I won't do this anymore. I'm going to California. Have a nice life." He instructed her. He had planned to just leave but he couldn't, not without kissing her one more time. He rushed across the room and pressed his lips to hers urgently trying to remember everything about the moment. He let her go and walked out.
Jesse didn't actually leave the church though. He had to see it with his own eyes. The sick masochistic part of him had to watch the woman he loved marry another man.
When Rachel found out she was pregnant she was sure it was Jesse's. When Jesse heard that Rachel was pregnant he was sure it was his. Neither of them, however, planned to do anything about it. Rachel had made her choice and he wasn't it. He wasn't going to come back now on the off chance that the baby she was carrying was actually his.
Rachel enjoyed her pregnancy but Connor felt distant the whole time but she brushed it aside as just nerves. When her baby was born all Rachel could see was Jesse. The day after the birth Connor walked into her hospital room carrying an envelope.
"What's that?" Rachel asked him.
"Divorce papers." He told her.
"What?" Rachel asked in shock.
"That is not my child." He pointed to the crib next to her bed and she stared at him in shock. "I don't know whose he is and I don't particularly care but I'm not going to raise him."
"What do you mean he's not yours?" Rachel asked unsure what to make of what he was saying.
"I mean I couldn't possibly be the father of this child, Rachel because I can't be a father. I found out a few years ago that I was infertile."
"And you never thought to tell me this?" Rachel asked.
"What, so you knew to be more careful with your bit on the side."
Rachel shook her head, tears falling down her face. Connor put the divorce papers on the table and walked out.
The tabloids quickly found out about Rachel's divorce and so word reached Jesse. He figured that confirmed that he was the child's father, a boy the papers said. Most of the tabloids were suggesting that Rachel's soon to be ex-husband was not the father of the child and that was why they were divorcing.
Two months later, Jesse found himself on a plane to New York for an interview and he didn't even stop at his hotel before heading to Rachel's apartment. He hoped that it was still hers and not her ex-husbands. That would not be good. It was then that Jesse realised it was two in the morning and Rachel probably wouldn't appreciate being woken up. He was about to turn around when he noticed the crying coming from her apartment. It was his son. He knocked on the door.
Rachel opened the door tiredly and was shocked to see Jesse standing there. Jesse couldn't help but notice how exhausted she looked, but seeing her cradling his son trying to get him back to sleep he couldn't imagine her being more beautiful.
"Hi." He spoke softly and before he knew what was happening, Rachel was crying.
"Hi." She spoke finally, laughing slightly. "Sorry I'm just so emotional, even more than normal." She told him.
He laughed gently.
"Mark, this is him, who I've been telling you about. This is your Daddy." She whispered to the baby in her arms. Jesse just stared at the both of them in awe. He moved further into the apartment and closed the door behind him.
"Can I?" He gestured to the baby. She handed him over to Jesse who held him naturally, as if he'd always been meant to hold a baby. Mark also finally stopped crying and Rachel breathed a sigh of relief.
"He's perfect, Rach." Jesse told her.
"I know." She smiled.
Jesse rocked Mark to sleep and sat on the sofa with Rachel, not wanting to put him down he kept the baby in his arms.
"You're a natural." Rachel told him. "And he adores you."
"He's a baby, you can't tell who adores yet." Jesse said.
"Yes I can." Rachel argued. "I'm sorry." Rachel spoke after a while. "I never should have married him, not just because of how it turned out. I wanted to leave with you so much but…" Rachel focused her attention on Mark before carrying on. "I was so scared. I didn't want to give up a certain future for something that had failed so many times before."
"Do you still feel that way?"
"We have a child together now Jesse. You can't leave now, even if I wanted you to." She told him.
"Will you believe that its fate now?"
"You may have a point." She conceded and he smiled.
"Why didn't you call me when he left you?"
"I was scared that you would turn me away too."
"Never." He promised. "How did he find out?"
"He's infertile." She spoke simply and Jesse raised his eyebrows.
"Wow."
"Why has it taken you two months?" She asked.
"I was mad and hurt and scared. I didn't know what would happen if I came back."
"That changed?"
"Not really, not until I saw you. I was coming to New York for an interview and I came here straight from the airport. I didn't even think about it. Seeing both of you, you with him, it just made me forget about everything else. You're everything I want. As long as I have the two of you I don't need anything else."
"I feel the same." Rachel smiled.
Jesse moved in that weekend and started the process of moving back to New York, which annoyed his agent to no end as they had spent a lot of time and effort moving him to LA. They had decided to keep it quiet for a while but they filled out Mark's birth certificate hoping that nobody would find it before they managed to get something to the press. Mark Gabriel St. James' birth certificate made it very clear as to who his parents were.
After getting sick of being cooped up at home and wanting to take Mark out in the fresh air and take him to the park together they decided to make a public appearance before saying anything. The sight of Rachel Berry and Jesse St. James walking down the street with their baby was unfortunately captured on camera by a paparazzi who happened to see them. Knowing that her divorce had been a big story he knew he could get a lot for this. The next day a picture of Rachel holding Jesse's hand as they walked with their son towards central park was all over the tabloids.
Rachel and Jesse took it in their stride, releasing a joint statement explaining the basics but asking for privacy. Stories about them circled for a while but it soon died down. Rachel had awkwardly run into Connor in a supermarket. He greeted her and looked at Mark who she had in a baby carrier on her front. He then turned and left and she didn't blame him.
Once her divorce was finalised, Rachel and Jesse planned a small private wedding with just close family and friends. It was nice and they were happy.
They were sure that they would make it.
A/N: Hope you enjoyed it. I would love to hear what you think and I might write another oneshot as a follow up.
